Torture Cinema

What could be worse than a remake of a remake of a remake of a remake of an adaptation of a remade adapted adaptation remake based on a book?  A sequel…

The title says it all.  We spend the whole episode trying to desperately to make it through our 5-by-5s.  Tune in to see if we succeeded.  (We have Eoghann Irving to thank for this month’s awful movie selection.  Thanks, jerk.)

Note:  If you have iTunes and like this show, please give us a review on our iTunes page, or feel free to email us with your thoughts about the show!

Here’s the episode (show notes are below):

Episode 59 — Download (MP3)

Torture Cinema Meets War of the Worlds 2:  The Next Wave (0:00 – 47:05)

* War of the Worlds 2:  The Next Wave (IMDB) (Burn in hell, mutant movie!)

You should also check out our friends at Adventures in Scifi Publishing.  The end of episode 4.6 has the new promo for their show, which you should listen to!

Our new intro music is “Time Flux” by Revolution Void (CC BY 3.0).

That’s all, folks!  Thanks for listening.  See you next week.

You picked it, and now we have to talk about it for thirty minutes.  Thanks for that.  This month’s Torture Cinema features brings us face to face with the remake of The Wicker Man.  Tune in and listen to us desperately try to find something good in this film…

Note:  If you have iTunes and like this show, please give us a review on our iTunes page, or feel free to email us with your thoughts about the show!

Here’s the episode (show notes are below):

Episode 55 — Download (MP3)

Torture Cinema Meets The Wicker Man (0:00 – 33:22)

* The Wicker Man (IMDB)

Our new intro music is “Time Flux” by Revolution Void (CC BY 3.0).

That’s all, folks!  Thanks for listening.  See you next week.

We’re back and pissed off.  Why?  Because our listeners chose Batman & Robin in our Torture Cinema poll and forced us to watch it.  Thanks a lot, jerks!

The good news is I’ve “hidden” Arnold Schwarzenegger in the episode, which should bring you all some joy while we die of asphyxiation.

The other good news is that next week is all about our special edition episode of the show!  It won’t be live, unfortunately. Technology seems to hate us. But it will be filled with our friends:  Jason Sanford, John Ottinger, Adam, and your lovely host regulars!

Tune in and enjoy!

Note:  If you have iTunes and like this show, please give us a review on our iTunes page, or feel free to email us with your thoughts about the show!

Here’s the episode (show notes are below):

Episode 51 — Download (MP3)

Main Segment:  Torture Cinema Meets Batman & Robin (0:00 – 38:15)

* Batman and Robin (IMDB)

(Again, we hate you all.  May you burn in the fiery pit of Stephenie Meyers’ stomach!)

Our new intro music is “Time Flux” by Revolution Void (CC BY 3.0).

That’s all, folks!  Thanks for listening.  See you next week.

We’re back with yet another Torture Cinema torture fest.  This week we have Mia to thank for voting on Alone in the Dark — an Uwe Boll vehicle.  Thanks a lot, Mia!  We’ll see you in hell!

Feel free to shoot us an email at skiffyandfanty [at] gmail [dot] com, leave a comment, or follow us on Twitter.  We hope you enjoy the episode!

Note:  If you have iTunes and like this show, please give us a review on our iTunes page, or feel free to email us with your thoughts about the show!

Here’s the episode (show notes are below):

Episode 45 — Download (MP3)

Intro and Torture Cinema Meets Alone in the Dark (0:00 – 36:10)

* Alone in the Dark (IMDB)

Our new intro music is “Time Flux” by Revolution Void (CC BY 3.0).

That’s all, folks!  Thanks for listening.  See you next week.

We’re back with another edition of Torture Cinema!  This time we look at the awful Dungeons & Dragons (2000) monstrosity.  The great thing about this episode is that you don’t have to watch the movie if you don’t want to.  We’ll do the dirty work for you!

The episode is sure to bring some laughs, so tune in and enjoy!

(Sorry for the late episode, folks.  I didn’t have time to edit the episode until late on Sunday and decided to push the release until Monday.  Thanks for your patience!)

Quick note:  Please donate to the Red Cross for relief efforts in Japan.  They could really use our help, folks.  $1.  $20.  Whatever you can manage.  Just help.

Feel free to shoot us an email at skiffyandfanty [at] gmail [dot] com, leave a comment, or follow us on Twitter.  We hope you enjoy the episode!

Note:  If you have iTunes and like this show, please give us a review on our iTunes page, or feel free to email us with your thoughts about the show!

Here’s the episode (show notes are below):

Episode 43 — Download (MP3)

Intro and Torture Cinema:  Dungeons & Dragons (0:00 – 36:07):

* Dungeons & Dragons (2000) (IMDB)

Our new intro music is “Time Flux” by Revolution Void (CC BY 3.0).

That’s all, folks!  Thanks for listening.  See you next week.

There’s nothing quite like watching someone’s career crash and burn like a WWI biplane at the end of a dogfight.  This week we talk about the (arguably) worst movie of 2010:  The Last Airbender (written and directed by M. Night Shyamalan).  We won’t ruin the episode for you, except to say that it’s quite painful.  Tune in and enjoy at your own expense!

Feel free to shoot us an email at skiffyandfanty [at] gmail [dot] com, leave a comment, or follow us on Twitter.  We hope you enjoy the episode!

Note:  If you have iTunes and like this show, please give us a review on our iTunes page, or feel free to email us with your thoughts about the show!

Here’s the episode (show notes are below):

Episode 38 — Download (MP3)

Intro and Torture Cinema Meets The Last Airbender (0:00 – 34:44):

* The Last Airbender (IMDB)

(Where you can read up on all the acting careers that have now been destroyed…)

* Racebending (i.e., info about The Last Airbender‘s racefail moments)

(Because we know you want to be pissed and in pain at the same time while you watch this crap…)

Our new intro music is “Time Flux” by Revolution Void (CC BY 3.0).

That’s all, folks!  Thanks for listening.  See you next week.

Our final episode for the year is a special Christmas edition of Torture Cinema!  This week we talk about Santa Claus Conquers the Martians, a fairly terrible Christmas movie.  Oh, and we have new (but temporary) intro music…very special intro music.  If you know the lyrics, sing along!

Question of the Week:

What is your favorite holiday movie?

If you’d like to send us your answer to the question, you can email it to skiffyandfanty [at] gmail [dot] com!  You can also leave a comment here or follow us on twitter.  We’d love to hear your creative responses!

Note:  If you have iTunes and like this show, please give us a review on our iTunes page, or feel free to email us with your thoughts about the show!

Here’s the episode (show notes are below):

Episode 30 — Download (MP3)

Intro and Christmas Torture Cinema — Santa Claus Conquers the Martians (0:00 – 30:45):

* Santa Claus Conquers the Martians (IMDB)

Thanks for listening, folks!  We’ll see you next year with The Skiffy and Fanty Show 2.0!

Torture Cinema is back and it’s switched genres.  This week we review Creep, a British horror film that is, by our account (and apparently by the account of the folks who recommended it to us) a rather terrible film.  Tune in to hear what we have to say about it.

Question of the Week:

What is your favorite zombie movie and why?

If you’d like to send us your answer to the question, you can email it to skiffyandfanty [at] gmail [dot] com!  You can also leave a comment here or follow us on twitter.  We’d love to hear your creative responses!

Note:  If you have iTunes and like this show, please give us a review on our iTunes page, or feel free to email us with your thoughts about the show!

Here’s the episode (show notes are below):

Episode 24 — Download (MP3)

Intro and Torture Cinema:  the Fourth Torture — Creep (2004)  (0:00 – 49:49):

* Creep (IMDB)

The End:  Reading and the Question of the Week (49:50 – 54:36)

That’s all, folks!  See you next week.

Torture Cinema returns with our second episode.  This week we talk about some interesting genre-movie releases and one of the most awful science fiction films ever made.  Prepare yourself.  Bad things are about to happen to your brain…

Question of the Week:

What is the craziest book-related experience you have ever had?

If you’d like to send us your answer to the question, you can email it to skiffyandfanty [at] gmail [dot] com or send us a voicemail at 206-203-1686!  You can also leave a comment here or follow us on twitter.  We’d love to hear your creative responses!

Note:  If you have iTunes and like this show, please give us a review on our iTunes page, or feel free to email us with your thoughts about the show!

Here’s the episode (show notes are below):

Episode Eighteen — Download (MP3)

Intro and Movie Releases (0:00:00 – 0:08:21):

* Resident Evil:  Afterlife (IMDB)

* Never Let Me Go (IMDB)

* Legend of the Guardians:  The Owls of Ga’Hoole (IMDB)

* Monsters (IMDB)

 

The Main Event:  Torture Cinema — The Guyver (0:08:22 – 1:04:21):

* The Guyver (IMDB)

The End:  Reading and Writing (1:04:22 – 1:11:32):

* “To Paint the Kingdom Red” (Part One on Residential Aliens)

 

That’s all, folks!  Thanks for tuning in.

We’re changing things up.  This week we discuss the difference between the literary science fiction and literary fantasy “fields” and review the dreadfully awful film, In the Name of the King.  It’s one part serious, one part hilarity, and two parts fun.

If you like the show, please review us on iTunes!  We could use the love.  And, of course, we hope you enjoy this episode.

Question of the Week:

We actually have a request instead of a question.  You might recall that we have a tagline at the beginning of each episode.  Well, we’d like you to help us come up with the tagline for next week’s episode.  Come up with a funny, ridiculous, cool, or downright weird tagline and send it to us.  You can email your taglines to skiffyandfanty [at] gmail [dot] com or send us a voicemail at 206-203-1686!  You can also leave a comment here or follow us on twitter.  We’d love to hear your creative responses!  (The only rule is that your tagline needs to be relatively clean; no curse words.)

Here’s the episode (show notes are below):

Episode Fifteen — Download (MP3)

Intro:  Literary Science Fiction vs. Literary Fantasy (0:00 – 22:45):

Main Event:  Torture Cinema — In the Name of the King (22:46 – 1:00:45):

* In the Name of the King (IMDB)

* Feel free to send us your suggestions for a terrible science fiction or fantasy movie that we should watch.  It doesn’t have to be a movie you’ve seen, by the way.  If you’ve heard that something is awful and want us to watch it for you, we will!

The End:  Reading and Writing; the Question of the Week (1:00:46 – 1:03:44)

That’s all, folks!  See you next week.