TOTAL MASSACRE

Merry Christmas! TOTAL MASSACRE is covering the greatest Christmas movie argument of all time, DIE HARD, with Rowan, Kev, and our very own Santa Claus Brian Smawley. We talk about copaganda, lighting, influence, Alan Rickman's sneer, and good old fashioned American masculinity, what a neat present to open!

Were you upset that the recent Sight & Sound poll barely included action at all? Neither were we, it's totally understandable, but it DID motivate us to see what a similar poll would look like if it was just action, so we did it. Rowan is joined by Brian Smawley, Kev Koeser, and actual Sight & Sound voter Ryan Swen to discuss the results. Is there a surprise in the top 2? What's the newest movie to make the list, and the oldest? Did Kev get Speed Racer on the list? Is it time for TOTAL MASSACRE to get into animation? All these questions and more will be answered on our biggest show ever!

Tom Cruise rides a goddamn plane! Rebecca Ferguson wears a yellow dress! Simon Pegg turns the energy up! Ving Rhames wears a jaunty hat! Jeremy Renner...is also there! It's MISSION IMPOSSIBLE: ROGUE NATION and Rob Zacny and Stella Sacco are here to break down the best film in the best series, maybe.

TOTAL MASSACRE is back for Septomber and three of Tom Cruise's best action movies! This time we're covering Michael Mann's COLLATERAL with Cruise as the terrifying Vincent, Jamie Foxx as his new best bud Max, and Brian and Kev joining Rowan to discuss what was the height of cool in 2004.

It's Judgment Day everyone! Thrill to the nuclear holocaust of Rowan explaining her overall theory of T2! Chill to Dylan's description of the time he launched a years-long project to give a distant connection a Terminator lore-based LARP! Also Carli and Naomi are here and they're great too!

Rowan, Carli, and Brian are hyped up (mostly) for the brand-new installment in the PREDATOR franchise, Dan Trachtenberg's PREY. Themes of nature and colonialism? Check! A cool Predator design? Check! A story of growing up and coming into your power with alien monsters around? Definite check! Impact font on the title card and a dope cello? You better believe that's a check!

Rowan is rejoined by Brian Smawley aka Chef Lu Bu for Jackie Chan ad Michelle Yeoh's near-death stunt experiences in 1992's SUPERCOP! What is going on with Maggie Cheung's character? Why are they in Thailand to blow up an outpost? How influential was this movie on action around the world? And holy shit is that an actual helicopter blade while they're fighting????!?

Our month of Michelle Yeoh continues with one of her international breakthrough films, CROUCHING TIGER, HIDDEN DRAGON. There are parts of this movie we love, but, why are they all in the second half? How is Rowan an enlightened centrist on romantic flashbacks? And how fast are those punches and kicks? They're super fast, right??

Carli, Rowan, and Kev are joined by special guest Rebekah Valentine for the hit multiverse movie of the year, EVERYTHING EVERYWHERE ALL AT ONCE. We talk about its parallels to the Wachowskis and Edgar Wright, the joy of seeing this cast pull this off, and wait a minute are they really going full Wong Kar-Wai????

TOTAL CASHACRE closes out with a huge day for Rowan: she watches her first Michael Mann movie, HEAT. Have you heard of this thing? It's like, really good. It's got Robert De Niro AND Al Pacino! Wild wild shit.