Total Recast

Sailor and Kane review the recent release of David Gordon Green’s “Evil Dies Tonight!”, oops I mean…Halloween Kills. Directly following the events of Halloween, “Which one?” amirite, Michael doesn’t burn up in the fire but is accidentally set free to murder once again. And boy does he. With Laurie injured, new characters are introduced to try and stop this evil menace that has plagued Haddonfield for 40 years.

We discuss where this entry ranks in the franchise and give a spoiler-free review at the beginning of the episode before diving into the movie by discussing it in a bit more depth.

Sailor and Kane review and recast one favorite, but albeit, a very flawed horror film from the 90s directed by Clive Barker, Lord of Illusions. We discuss our issues and just how close this horror noir was to being really good. This is is one of our first picks that could benefit from an updated take and we are here to give our take on it.

Here are some things discussed during the episode:

Where does this rank among Clive Barker adaptations?

The "in your face" subtext.

We take on sexual orientations.

Kane fixates on tight pants.

Somehow we get on a Taken tangent.

We have a theory of why Marilyn Monroe was taken out.

Well, it's that spooky time of year so Sailor and Kane decided to pick a couple of horror movies to review and recast this month and we wanted to kick it off with one of our all-time favorite horror films. Rob Zombies The Devil's Rejects.

We discuss our love and hate relationship with the polarizing horror director while also gushing over the damn perfect grindhouse flick. We talk about the tonal shift from House of a 1000 Corpses and Rob Zombie's ability to catch lightning in a bottle to showcase he could actually direct. Well, once at least.

Strap in because Sailor and Kane gush all over this film and spend an extra amount of time discussing one of our all-time favorites, True Romance. This 1993 crime romance film was written by Quentin Tarantino and directed by Tony Scott. It follows one of the coolest nerds and a call girl as they fall madly in love while they go on the run with a suitcase full of the mob's drugs.

With the recent passing of the great Sonny Chiba, we take a moment to honor his incredible career at the beginning of this episode as Sailor runs down a list of some of his must-see films. RIP Shinichi Chiba.

How would Tarantino and Scott's careers have been different, if at all, had they swapped movies like originally planned? We jump into a hypothetical discussion on what would have happened if Tarantino directed True Romance with Scott directing Reservoir Dogs.

Also, this film is so loaded with such a massive cast that we had to cut some major names like Samuel L. Jackson and our supple baby boy Brad Pitt. But don't worry! We have plenty of recasts to throw at you along with some conversation on the differences between today's actors and those of yesteryear.

Sailor and Kane review and recast an Arnie classic, The Running Man. We discuss the differences between Stephen King's novel and the movie along with Richard Dawson's charismatic performance.

Sailor goes off the deep end with his updated version but it might just be crazy enough to be great. It touches on a sensitive topic that would be hot button issue if made today while Kane may have just made the best pick in Total Recast history with his Killian recast.

We also discuss the differences between memorable and forgettable female action characters. Why do some standout out above so many vanilla portrayals to become the standard? We have some thoughts.

Sailor and Kane review and recast the Luc Besson action thriller classic, Léon: The Professional (1994). We discuss the amazing performances by the three leads that include Gary Oldman's iconic Stansfield. We also get into the unnecessary controversy surrounding the film before the episode goes completely off the rails as we take on the Oscars with their BS. Somehow we rant about Woody Allen and his creepy ass yet again, as we give out acting tips and find out that, of course, Sailor owns Madonna's Sex book. It's a whirlwind episode that could just be our last once the lame cancel culture, that we attack as well, comes for us. Check out our latest episode now and let us know who you would cast for an updated remake of  Léon: The Professional.

Sailor and Kane take on the buddy road trip classic Thelma & Louise, starring Susan Sarandon and Geena Davis.  We discuss possible castings before the movie was made, how Ridley Scott didn't want to even direct the movie, and of course, Brad Pitt's suppleness.

Let us know what you think of our casts and who you would pick for a modern update of this classic.

Sailor and Kane bring on a special guest, William Dhalgren from ScreenAgeWasteland, to discuss the 1982 action classic First Blood. The movie that spawned the action icon Rambo and gave Sylvester Stallone another franchise to make money hand over fist.

We discuss the book the movie is based on, Sly's career, the impact on the action genre among other elements surrounding this movie. Listen as we make our picks for an updated remake and give our take on the First Blood we want to be made. Let us know who you would recast!

Sailor and Kane tackle David Fincher's 1999 social commentary drama, Fight Club. We discuss the "dudebro" aspect of the film While alienating several fan bases in the process. Also, Sailor drools all over Brad Pitt's suppleness. Check out our review and who we recast for the major parts if this was to be remade today.

It's 4th of July weekend, meaning it's time for that annual Jaws rewatch. We thought it was the perfect time to give this Spielberg classic the Total Recast treatment. In this episode, Sailor and Kane invite fellow ScreenAgeWasteland writer, K. Alvarez, to the show to review and recast one of the greatest movies of all time. We discuss how this is a perfect movie, an alternate universe if Jaws was a failure and how that would have shaped the rest of Spielberg's career, and our picks for the unnecessary remake.