What is bureaucracy? Where did it come from and why does it exist? We answer none of these important questions in this groundbreaking episode with comedy icon and reluctant rule follower, Tranna Wintour! Tune in to hear about Tranna's fear of filling out forms, engaging with bureaucratic structures and her patented system of adding "a little extra on top" (tipping the government). Plus, we discuss what each of our roles would be in a Mad Max Fury Road scenario. And, Tranna confronts the abusive releationship between cats and their owners—lookin' at you DUSTY.

Total Relaxation is a Hellgirl podcast.

Cover art: Ariana Sauder

Theme music: Voyeurism

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@totalrelaxationpod

@hellgirlproductions

© 2024 Nancy Webb and Emelia Hellman. All rights reserved.

Absolute fear and anxiety legend Emma Overton stops by the bedroom closet and she’s brought a veritable feast of delights. Enclosed spaces. Existential jails of the mind. Other realms. A horse’s lifetime. Living forever? No thanks! Logically, you should be able to interact with other ghosts. Emma preys on Nancy. She can’t help it, she has eyes on the front of her head. The energy of a belly button. Emma wants to leave the table to get blasted by a waterfall. Smirnaffle (Smirnoff + waffle). Audience demand for a sexier podcast. Emelia gets a bonnet. And THE INFAMOUS GREEK FERRY STORY. For dessert? A Babygirl micro film review.

Total Relaxation is a Hellgirl podcast.

Cover art: Ariana Sauder

Theme music: Voyeurism

✴︎ Instagram ✴︎

@totalrelaxationpod

@hellgirlproductions

© 2024 Nancy Webb and Emelia Hellman. All rights reserved.

Join us as we pop off on holiday season topics. We’ve each brought our NAUGHTY lists and we’re feeling an ineffable December melancholy that simply cannot be cured! Cozy up to a bowl of pulses and lentils in your lambswool smock and send a candle down the river, because the holidays are about Wintering and mourning. On today’s ep: The Zoloft has worn off. Getting to the edge of vitamin D poisoning. Falling down the driveway and staying down (mentally). The romance of a European sunset. The void of a cynical questioning mind will ruin you. Fired with a smile. “Self-compassion me”. Eartha Kitt’s Santa Baby. The windows are heating up with that egg smell. Being shot by your nephew with a nerf gun while having a passive-aggressive convo about the quality of the pancakes with your sister in law. Christmas belongs to children. 98 Degrees. Christmas dom (woman with barrel curls). Atemporality. Wood grain and clear. Have an amazing Ian Mckellen holiday season! 🎄✨

Total Relaxation is a Hellgirl podcast.

Cover art: Ariana Sauder

Theme music: Voyeurism

✴︎ Instagram ✴︎

@totalrelaxationpod

@hellgirlproductions

© 2024 Nancy Webb and Emelia Hellman. All rights reserved.

Spider-Ban, Spider-Ban, Let’s impose a spider ban, Gorgeous webs, Too many eyes, Barely catching any flies, Look out, Here comes a Spider Ban! Ban all spiders!!!  This week we’re blessed by the presence of the deeply arachnophobic James Watts! Talking about: childhood spider therapy. Willem Dafoe human-sized goblin in the ceiling. Daddy Longlegs myths. Pranks. Barely-limbs baby (BLB). Susan Sarandon’s sexy spider voice. Nervously holding crinkle bags. Goth women. Babe vs. Charlotte’s Web. Nancy doesn’t (and has never known) what a diorama is. Bugboys. The demented mind of a stiltsman. The tragic figure that is Mr. Bean. Everything bad happens in Australia. Emelia doesn’t want to rigor mortis on the toilet and be pantsless in her coffin sitting up. 

Total Relaxation is a Hellgirl podcast.

Cover art: Ariana Sauder

Theme music: Voyeurism

✴︎ Instagram ✴︎

@totalrelaxationpod

@hellgirlproductions

© 2024 Nancy Webb and Emelia Hellman. All rights reserved.

FINALLY we get into the voice (a huge problem). Cozy ASMR holiday unboxing alert!! Ordering oats as a stress response. Nancy has her grandfather’s brows. Finding your note. Princess Diana’s vocal coach. Emelia’s Margaret Thatcher impression. Paris Hilton battles her mask. Men throw cash at Elizabeth Holmes. Nara Smith is German. The urge to fit in. “Decanting the ham” voice. Learning to say no. Being aspirated. I’m?…Michael Barbaro. 

Total Relaxation is a Hellgirl podcast.

Cover art: Ariana Sauder

Theme music: Voyeurism

✴︎ Instagram ✴︎

@totalrelaxationpod

@hellgirlproductions

© 2024 Nancy Webb and Emelia Hellman. All rights reserved.

Paging Dr. Jung! We welcome writer/director and practical effects genius Kaye Adelaide to the pod to talk about her recurring nightmares about labyrinthine bathrooms. Also: The Row boots at a dog’s birthday. Inflatable chrome bubble suit. We’ve fled the closet. Cooking oneself in a scalding bath. Bee vs lizard. Big hot rock. When the queen turns off the pheromone. Bacon neighbours. Hot tubs full of urine. Lucid dreaming. 9 hours of galloping on the beach at night. Getting to the bottom of what’s in our brains. Renovating the Bathroom of the Self. Emelia thinks Nancy would do well as an android. Digestion issues, but not in a toilet way. Kaye and Nancy never read "Everybody P**ps". Release your mind, release your hole.

Total Relaxation is a Hellgirl podcast.

Cover art: Ariana Sauder

Theme music: Voyeurism

✴︎ Instagram ✴︎

@totalrelaxationpod

@hellgirlproductions

© 2024 Nancy Webb and Emelia Hellman. All rights reserved.

Ever look at a photo of yourself and think: Love her, but who is she? This week on the pod: Investigating Aliens. This planet is clownery. Getting yoinked by the G forces. Why can’t a romantic partner take a good photo? The light in the eyes has dimmed. Subtract 2 years from age, add 10 years  of suffering to the eyes. Emelia's thinking about gym chalk. ASMR interlude. Nasolabial folds. A global general scan of the face, rather than an examination. Martha Stewart. Cindy Sherman. Katharine Hepburn. Soothe the horse. Woah girl, easy girl. 🐴🪞

Total Relaxation is a Hellgirl podcast.

Cover art: Ariana Sauder

Theme music: Voyeurism

✴︎ Instagram ✴︎

@totalrelaxationpod

@hellgirlproductions

© 2024 Nancy Webb and Emelia Hellman. All rights reserved.

Well, well, well, looks like two little podcast hosts have their very first guest. It's Halloweeeeeeen and the spooky crazy Classical sculpture-hating "final they" themselves, Andi McQueen stops by to discuss one of their big F's (fears). Dolls, wax figures and those bean bag clowns with glass heads. The Uncanny Valley. The Corpse Effect. The Ancient Spirit Within. Emelia's least favourite Christmas candleholder. The hand of the artist. Nancy doesn't like when doll eyes clack open in a clacking way. Earth's Treasures at the ROM. It all comes back to Baby. 👻🧑‍🎨

Total Relaxation is a Hellgirl podcast.

Cover art: Ariana Sauder

Theme music: Voyeurism

✴︎ Instagram ✴︎

@totalrelaxationpod

@hellgirlproductions

© 2024 Nancy Webb and Emelia Hellman. All rights reserved.

You are about to enter another dimension, a dimension not only of sight and sound, but of mind. It is the borderland between the unknown and the impossible, a place we call… The Particle Dimension. "Don’t make me a keyholder." Baby Julius (A24). Gasping, or "sighing up". A schneeze is the ultimate release. Toothbrush near the toilet Y/N? Nancy reveals which SSRI she's on. Emelia asks: "Is life a particle? Is love a particle?" Fiberglass. Inflammation. Don't turn pain into art. OCD. Peanut butter. Deliverance. Can Nancy find a particle she likes? Tune in to find out. 🦠🪐💊

Total Relaxation is a Hellgirl podcast.

Cover art: Ariana Sauder

Theme music: Voyeurism

✴︎ Instagram ✴︎

@totalrelaxationpod

@hellgirlproductions

© 2024 Nancy Webb and Emelia Hellman. All rights reserved.

Here we go again, another ep. Disclaimer! Talk of blood between 7 mins - 15 mins (maybe?) but nothing too crazy. Boil girl summer. The Traitors. Meltdown in a van. Stacy London. Nancy is not a cinephile. The hell of monoculture. What’s in a Gen Z’s tiny purse? Making a raucous. Being a narc. Cauliflower ear. Barely audible Ricky Martin. Returning to extreme expressions of pain (as a culture). Seagull in the closet. Creed. Emelia’s getting a soul patch. Le chateau pashminas. The self compassion book didn’t take. And Then There Was Quentin. 🐭🏳️‍🌈

Total Relaxation is a Hellgirl podcast.

Cover art: Ariana Sauder

Theme music: Voyeurism

✴︎ Instagram ✴︎

@totalrelaxationpod

@hellgirlproductions

© 2024 Nancy Webb and Emelia Hellman. All rights reserved.