In this episode of Trail Talks, Kelly and Terra are joined by counselor Jill Defayette for a powerful conversation on leadership addiction. 🎯

What happens when your title becomes your identity? When work replaces purpose? When control feels safer than connection?

Together, they unpack the psychology behind workaholism, toxic leadership, identity loss, burnout, and why some leaders struggle to step away. They also share practical tools to help leaders build healthier identities beyond the role. 🌱

Topics include:
🔹 Leadership addiction explained
🔹 Workaholism vs purpose-driven work
🔹 Toxic leadership patterns
🔹 Identity outside your job title
🔹 Why control becomes addictive
🔹 Tools for healthier leadership

🎧 If you’ve ever tied your worth to productivity, this one is for you. 

The views expressed in this podcast are those of the speakers and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of the Department of the Air Force, the Department of Defense, or the U.S. Government.

This content is for informational and educational purposes only and is not intended as professional counseling, medical, or legal advice.

After a heavy conversation on toxic leadership and silent bullying, this episode brings it back to what actually matters.

Because here’s the truth:
 Leadership isn’t complicated… it’s uncomfortable.
 And too often, we avoid the very things that make leadership effective.

In this episode of Trail Talks, we break down:

•  The 5 basics of leadership: clarity, consistency, communication, ownership, and care 
•  The 3 essentials of followership: ownership without authority, courage, and contribution 
•  A simple self-check to help you evaluate how you’re showing up—no matter your role 

This isn’t theory.
 This is what people actually feel when leadership is done right—and what breaks when it’s not.

If you’ve ever felt frustrated by leadership (yours or someone else’s), this episode is your reset.

Because if it’s not:

•  Clear 
•  Consistent 
•  Communicated 
•  Owned 
•  And grounded in care 

…it’s not leadership.

🎧 Press play and get back to the basics.

In this episode of Trail Talks, Kelly and Terra are joined by Sue and Heather for a real conversation about a form of workplace toxicity that often goes unrecognized—silent bullying.

This isn’t about obvious conflict or explosive leaders. It’s about the behaviors that happen quietly:

•  Avoiding hard conversations 
•  Withholding feedback 
•  Excluding people from information or opportunities 
•  Creating environments where people feel unseen, unsupported, or unsure where they stand 

And the impact? It’s real. It affects trust, performance, confidence—and ultimately, people.

Together, they unpack:

•  What silent bullying actually looks like in leadership spaces 
•  Why it often goes unaddressed 
•  The subtle behaviors that signal something deeper is off 
•  And what leaders—and teammates—can do to change it 

This conversation is honest, at times uncomfortable, and necessary.

Because leadership isn’t just about what you say.
 It’s also about what you don’t say—and the space that silence creates.

Disclaimer: The views expressed in this episode are our own and do not reflect those of the Department of War or the United States Air Force.

Not all harm in leadership comes from what’s said.

Sometimes… it’s what isn’t said.

In this solo episode, I talk about a form of leadership that often goes unnoticed—silence that breaks trust. The moments where leaders stay quiet when something needs to be addressed. When people are treated poorly, when tension is obvious, when something feels off… and nothing is said.

I share why this weighs so heavy on me—because people come to me for support. And when they do, it’s not small stuff. It’s the kind of things that keep you up at night… watching people carry things they shouldn’t have to carry alone.

We’ll get into:

• Why silence can feel like approval
• How avoidance erodes trust over time
• The emotional weight leaders carry (and don’t always talk about)
• The difference between being emotionally comfortable vs. emotionally steady
• And what it actually looks like to show up when it matters

This isn’t about being perfect. It’s about being present. Aware. Willing.

Because leadership isn’t just about what you say…
 It’s about what you’re willing to say when it counts.

Most people think change comes down to discipline.

Trying harder. Being more consistent. Having more willpower.

But what if that’s not the real problem?

In this episode, we explore a powerful leadership and personal growth truth inspired by John Maxwell’s Law of Environment:

Your environment shapes your behavior more than your willpower does.

We break down the four environments influencing your life every day—physical, social, digital, and emotional—and how each one is quietly shaping your habits, mindset, and identity.

You’ll learn:

• Why nearly half of our daily behavior is driven by habit, not decision
• How social contagion spreads behaviors, attitudes, and culture
• The hidden impact of your digital environment on focus and mental health
• How leaders shape culture by designing environments—not controlling people

We also share real-world examples from psychology, leadership, and military experience to show how environments can either support growth or quietly sabotage it.

And most importantly, we give you simple, practical ways to start changing your environment this week—so growth becomes easier, not harder.

Because sometimes the problem isn’t your discipline…

It’s your environment.

What does it actually mean to love yourself — and why do so many of us struggle with it?

Together we break down three common lies about self-love that quietly shape how we think about our worth, our relationships, and our identity. Then we share three powerful truths grounded in psychology and neuroscience that can help you build a more stable sense of self.

Along the way we explore research from experts like Kristin Neff, Brené Brown, and James Clear and discuss how self-worth, attachment, and the nervous system influence the way we experience love.

You’ll also walk away with practical tools you can start using immediately to build healthier self-talk, emotional regulation, and identity-based habits.

In this episode we discuss:
 ✨ Why self-worth often becomes tied to performance and approval
 🧠 How rejection affects the brain and nervous system
 💛 The difference between self-compassion and self-esteem
 🛠 Practical tools to build a healthier relationship with yourself

Self-love isn’t about perfection.

It’s about learning to treat yourself with the same compassion, clarity, and respect you offer to others.

Love isn’t supposed to be effortless 24/7… it’s supposed to be sustainable 💛 In Episode 15 of Trail Talks, we unpack boundaries in romantic relationships and why they’re not walls, ultimatums, or control… they’re clarity.
We break down the Top 5 Truths About Boundaries, explore how attachment styles + nervous system states(fight/flight vs shutdown) shape conflict, and share practical tools like “When X happens, I feel Y, so I will Z.”
Plus: a hilarious “Red Flag, Green Flag” detour that gets way too real 😅🚩✅
🎧 Tune in for honest conversation, practical language, and the kind of self-trust that actually changes relationships.

Trail Talks Episode 14 🎙️🌿 is a powerful conversation about love 💘, healing 🩹, faith 🙏🏾, and choosing growth 🌱 after heartbreak 💔

Kelly Kruger 🎤 and Terra Stinnett 🌟 sit down with Gregg & Shakela Matthews 💑—founders of Always Love and Lead ❤️➡️👣 and Divinely Restored 🙏🏾✨—to talk relationships 💍, emotional intelligence 🧠, communication 🗣️, and rebuilding after divorce 💔➡️💖

From a high school connection 🏫💞 to life pulling them in different directions 🌪️⏳, Gregg and Shakela share how healing, maturity, and faith ultimately brought them back together 24 years later 💍✨

This episode offers hope 🕯️, perspective 👀, and real-life insight for anyone wondering if healthy love is still possible 💛

Episode 13 | Part 3: Identity, Transition & Emotional Intelligence

In this final part of Episode 13, we explore what it really means to lead when the uniform comes off—and when titles no longer define us.

Retired Command Chief Ericka Kelly shares powerful insights on:

• Preparing for life beyond rank and roles
• The emotional reality of transition
• Building a coaching or leadership business with intention
• Why emotional intelligence is the most in-demand leadership skill today

This conversation is for leaders, veterans, entrepreneurs, and anyone navigating change while trying to stay grounded in who they truly are.

🎙️ Awareness is powerful—but support is transformational.

In Part 2 of Episode 13, we continue our powerful conversation with Ericka Kelly, diving into emotional intelligence, identity, and leadership through a deeply human lens.

We unpack why emotions aren’t facts—but important data, how subconscious programming shapes our reactions, and why great leadership starts with understanding yourself first. Erica shares lessons on mentorship, resilience, psychological safety, and what happens when leaders truly make space for people to feel seen.

We also take a fun detour to get to know Erica beyond leadership—talking personality styles, parenting, guilty pleasures, favorite books, and the importance of rest and reflection.

✨ Awareness is powerful—but support is transformational.