Training4Manhood

Guest: John Elmore, Teaching Pastor, Watermark Community Church

John - the idea of sin and struggle is the most requested conversation - people have forgiveness from sin, but not freedom. God wants to redeem, reengineer, and repurpose your past for His purposes and glory!

John - the most used thing in his life to share the gospel is how God redeemed him from his past - your mess can become His message!

How do I get free?

1. For the unbeliever, freedom starts with surrendering your life to Christ and accepting the free gift of salvation by grace through faith. Sin is a supernatural problem and demands a supernatural solution!

John - leaders go first or others may never - if you want to walk in the light and have fellowship with one another, you need to lead others by your example!

John - today is the day of your salvation and freedom from sin. Text a brother in Christ and begin this daily commitment to walking in the forgiveness AND freedom from sin!

Resources

• Freedom Starts Today: Overcoming Struggles and Addictions One Day at a Time by John Elmore, 2021

T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle ([email protected]) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.

Huge thank you to Jared Wood for allowing T4M to use his music in our intro and outro selections.

Guest: Cort Quigley

Christianity doesn't make a man soft, it transforms him into the image of Jesus - THE man’s Man, the sinless Man, the Man who laid down His life for the sins of others.

Men - don’t be afraid to seek help - if you see someone who has what you want, do what they did - mentorship/discipleship is about finding men who are walking the walk and learning from them. Godly men help build godly men.

Men - you ARE leaving a legacy - and it’s either a positive one or a negative one - for your work AND your family!

Video games - being the hero in a game isn’t the same as being a hero for those you love!

Comparison is the thief of joy…be careful comparing yourself to others…

Friends are the men that call you to the carpet, expect more from you, want better for you, even than themselves! The only way you can get to the point where you’re willing to help others, even if it costs you, is to be transformed by the power of Jesus who modeled this ideal with His life and can empower you with His grace and love!

Marriage is a 100/0 covenant - you are going to love your wife no matter what…and she covenants to love you no matter what - it’s not a 50/50 agreement where you serve because you’ve been served.

Men - be the guy who cares about the lives of others - but, if you can also meet others where they’re at, if they need a friend who listens, be that friend.

Men - doing hard things is just part of life - if you can do some hard physical things, you can do some hard spiritual things!

Men - great perspective on the “stuff of this world” - if God gives it to you, you’re supposed to use it for His glory - more stuff = more glory for Him - is that your perspective on things?!

Men - it doesn’t matter where you came from, it matters what God thinks of you and where He can take you as you walk in obedience with Him!

T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle ([email protected]) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.

Guest: Dan Panetti

The American Conservative

Male Malaise Is Not Just About ‘the Culture’

Big Business and Big Education have a hand in our boys’ failure to thrive.

The businesses that are attacking our boys - screens - video games and porn

Response to issues:

1. Screens - video games and porn - address, limit…take responsibility for their negative impact - this is first and foremost a parenting issue…but if parents are not going to step in and provide guidelines and limits, then you as the young man wanting to mature and be successful have to do it yourself…

Psalm 144:12

That our sons may be as plants grown up in their youth; that our daughters may be as corner stones, polished after the similitude of a palace.

Success in the home needs to be the top priority of the children of God!

T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle ([email protected]) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.

Guests: Nick Bellamy and Johnny Farr

Chapter 11 False Gods

Principle: You are parenting a worshiper, so it’s important to remember that what rules your child’s heart will control his behavior.

WORSHIP - everything your child has ever said or done is rooted in worship. Worship is that inner desire for wonder, amazement, and awe that every human being possesses. It is that craving to be fulfilled. It is that constant search for life. It is wanting personal meaning and purpose. It’s that universal hunger for inner peace.

Your kids were made for God. The capacity of your children to worship is the most important biblical insight for parents. Since your children are worshipers, a vital skill for you is to learn how to lead them to confession. To say your children are worshipers means you have no power to free them from their biggest problem. Because your children are worshipers, your only hope for them is the grace of the Lord Jesus Christ.

Chapter 12 Control

Principle: The goal of parenting is not control of behavior, but rather heart and life change.

Psalm 51

Your children need to see their sin, so they’ll cry out for God’s mercy.

Your children need to understand the nature of sin, so they don’t minimize its danger

Your children need to understand that their problem is not with their parents, but with God

Your children need to understand that sin is a nature problem that produces behavior problems

Your children need to understand that since sin is a heart problem, the only solution is a new heart

Your children need to be taught to run to the only place of hope: the forgiving grace of God

Chapter 13 Rest

Principle: It is only rest in God’s presence and grace that will make you a joyful and patient parent.

Your job is to do everything within your power, as an instrument in the hands of the Redeemer who has employed you, to woo, encourage, call, and train your children to willingly and joyfully live as disciples of the Lord Jesus Christ.

It’s not enough to tell your children what to do and what not to do. This passage calls every parent to a deeper goal. You must teach your children how to think about everything in a way that is pointedly God-centered.

Chapter 14 Mercy

Principle: No parent gives mercy better than one who is convinced that he desperately needs it himself.

Parenting is about being God’s ambassadors in the lives of our children.

Mercy is parenting with a tender heart.

Look for every opportunity to shower your children with grace.

Be careful to help your children see the heart behind behavior.

Remind your heart each morning to rest in the presence and power of your heavenly Father.

T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle ([email protected]) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.

Guest: Nick Bellamy

Titus 2:2 - Older men are to be sober-minded, dignified, self-controlled, sound in faith, in love, and in steadfastness.

What do each of these characteristics mean…and how can you grow and mature in each of them?

Sober-minded - sensible, set apart, temperate, vigilant, meekness

• When you set your mind on God’s purpose, you can more easily battle against the temptations of the world/flesh that seek to distract and discourage you.

Dignified - to make worthy, venerable, honorable, grave, serious

• 1 Peter says that we are “royalty” - But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for his own possession, that you may proclaim the excellencies of him who called you out of darkness into his marvelous light. 1 Peter 2:9

Self-controlled - safe in mind

• Young men start with self-control, but it’s a much needed character trait for all of life!

Sound in faith - sound means to have health, to be uncorrupted

• We want to be godly, not good. There is a difference!

Sound in love

• What do you love? Are the things that you love the things that God loves?

Sound in steadfastness - endurance, patient, cheerful, constancy

Send an email with these six characteristics to your friends and ask them to evaluate your progress in each!

T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle ([email protected]) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.

Guests: Nick Bellamy and Johnny Farr

Chapter 8 Authority

Principle: One of the foundational heart issues in the life of every child is authority. Teaching and modeling the protective beauty of authority is one of the foundations of good parenting.

It’s important to always keep in mind that as a parent you are never just dealing with the words and actions of your children. You are always also dealing with the thing that shapes, directions, and controls the behavior of your children: the heart.

Sin makes us want our own way. Sin convinces all of us that we know better.

Mom and Dad, you have no ability at all–by the tone of your voice, by the force of your personality, by your physical size, or by your threats–to deliver your children from their addiction to self-rule.

But Jesus does have the power.

What is obedience? It’s a willing submission of my heart to the authorities that God has placed in my life.

Do you humbly own the rebellion of your own heart as you deal with the rebellion of your children in a way that causes you to exercise authority with patience and grace?

Chapter 9 Foolishness

Principle: The foolishness inside your children is more dangerous to them than the temptation outside of them. Only God’s grace has the power to rescue fools.

Your children disobey because of the pride, rebellion, autonomy, self-sufficiency, and desire for self-rule that control their hearts.

If the heart of your child does not change, his behavior won’t change for very long.

Proverbs 22:15 - “Folly is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of discipline drives it far from him.”  Foolishness - the propensity of our children to live as if God doesn’t exist.

Chapter 10 Character

Principle: Not all of the wrong your children do is a direct rebellion to authority; much of the wrong is the result of a lack of character.

It’s not enough to just emphasize the beauty of submission to authority. You must also emphasize the need for character development.

Your children don’t so much need character management as they need worship realignment.

T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle ([email protected]) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.

Guest: Clint Davis, M.S., LPC, CSAT, CCTP, EMDR Provider, Certified Clinical Trauma Professional, Certified Sex Addiction Therapist

Clint Davis Counseling

[email protected]

318-562-6903

Clint Davis Asking Why podcast

Check out Clint’s new book: Building Better Bridges: A Guidebook to Having Difficult Conversations That Can Save Our Children

Transformation happens through relationships.

When sex is introduced into a relationship, the “emotional ceiling” is set in that relationship - meaning that the relationship is incapable of growing deeper beyond that point.

As men, we should lead in relationships by desiring what is best for the other person - respecting them, protecting them, honoring them, cherishing them - even if no one else is.

One of the fruits of the Spirit is self-control. Not that you’ll be able to “control” everything; but you, empowered by the Holy Spirit, can control your thoughts. Walking in the Spirit is life, walking by the flesh is death.

Purity isn’t about your works and actions, it’s about how God sees you through the lens of His Son - redeemed, made new, family!

When we want our spouse to fill the eternal void in our lives, we crush them under the weight of eternity. But when Christ fills that void, then we are able to love another with the power of Christ.

Biblical living actually works - walk in His truth not only for your own benefit, but so that others can see the truth and be set free from the lies of this world!

T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle ([email protected]) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.

Huge thank you to Jared Wood for allowing T4M to use his music in our intro and outro selections.

Guests: Nick Bellamy and Johnny Farr

Chapter 4 Inability

Principle: Recognizing what you are unable to do is essential to good parenting.

It is vital that you believe and admit that you have no power whatsoever to change your child.

Parenting is not about exercising power for change in your children. Parenting is about your humble faithfulness in being willing to participate in God’s work of change for the sake of your children.

Parents, here’s what you need to understand: God has given you the authority for the work of change, but has not granted you the power to make that change happen.

Chapter 5 Identity

Principle: If you are not resting as a parent in your identity in Christ, you will look for identity in your children.

If you are not resting in your vertical identity, you will look horizontally, searching to find yourself and your reason for living in something in creation.

How do you know if you’re putting your identity on the shoulders of your children?

1. Too much focus on success.

Chapter 6 Process

Principle: You must be committed as a parent to long-view parenting because change is a process and not an event.

Parenting is not a series of dramatic confrontation-confession events, but rather a life-long process of incremental awareness and progressive change.

The Bible states very clearly that one of the most dangerous aspects of sin, which all parents deal with personally and which all parents deal with in their children, is the fact that sin blinds.

What, by God’s grace, is clear to you is not clear to them. What seems obvious to you is not obvious to them.

Spiritually blind people are blind to their blindness.

Chapter 7 Lost

Principle: As a parent you’re not dealing just with bad behavior, but a condition that causes bad behavior.

Our children are not just disobedient; they are disobedient because they are lost.

Two big lies ever lost child believes:

1. The first lie is the lie of autonomy. What this lie says is that I am a completely independent human being, and because I am, I have the right to live my life any way I choose to live it. It is the belief that my life belongs to me and that I should be able to do whatever I want with my life to make me happy. Part of this lie is the belief that no one should tell me what to do.

1. The second lie is equally dangerous. It is the life of self-sufficiency. This lie tells your child that he has everything he needs inside himself to be what he needs to be and to do what he needs to do. He doesn’t need your help, rescue, instruction, wisdom, or correction.

T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle ([email protected]) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.

Guest: Chris Sherrod, Marriage and Family Director, Watermark Community Church, Dallas, TX

What is the “state of marriage” in America?

• Over the past 50 years, the marriage rate has dropped by almost 60%

Men, how can you be “successful” in your marriage and leading your family?

1. OYOG - Own Your Own Growth. Leading your family starts with your own spiritual growth and maturity! You can’t teach what you don’t know; you can’t pass on what you don’t have. Oxygen mask example - put yours on first! The fruit of godliness starts with the seed of godliness being planted in you first. If something is important, you make time for it; if it’s not important, you make excuses.

T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle ([email protected]) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.

Guests: Nick Bellamy and Johnny Farr

Introduction

Good parenting, which does what God intends it to do, begins with this radical and humbling recognition that our children don’t actually belong to us.

Good parents don’t always produce good kids, and parents should constantly be asking themselves where they get the set of values that tell them whether they have “good” kids or not.

Chapter 1 Calling

Principle: Nothing is more important in your life than being one of God’s tools to form a human soul.

How has the value of career success impacted your commitment to the work that God has called you to as parents?

• Your Life…Well Spent: The Eternal Rewards of Investing Yourself and Your Money in Your Family by Russ Crosson

Your work as a parent is a thing of extreme value because God has designed that you would be a principal, consistent, and faithful tool in his hands for the purpose of creating God-consciousness and God-submission in your children.

Your kids will never be what they’re supposed to be or do if they lack God-consciousness.

Chapter 2 Grace

Principle: God never calls you to a task without giving you what you need to do it. He never sends you without going with you.

No child really wants to be parents by parents who think that they’re able. “Able” parents tend to be proud and self-assured parents.

And “able” parents tend to want their children to be trophies, a public demonstration of their ability.

God’s greatest and most wonderful gift to you as a parent is himself! He knows how hard your task is. 

Here’s the humbling conclusion that God, in grace, led me to: I am more like my children than unlike them - and so are you!

Chapter 3 Law

Principle: Your children need God’s law, but you cannot ask the law to do what only grace can accomplish.

If rules and regulations had the power to change the heart and life of your child, rescuing your child from himself and giving him a heart of submission and faith, Jesus would have never needed to come!

A child who does not see himself clearly will resist his parents’ wisdom, guidance, discipline, and correction. Why? Because he doesn’t think he needs it.

It’s not our children’s sin that is in the way of good parenting; it’s our tendency to make parenting about our little kingdom of wants, needs, and desires, and our tendency to want our children to serve the purposes of our kingdom rather than submit to the purposes of God’s kingdom.

T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle ([email protected]) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.