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Are you feeling pressure to know what's next?

Whether you're choosing a college major, considering a career change, starting a business, thinking about retirement, navigating a relationship, relocating, or simply wondering whether your life could look a little different, uncertainty can make it difficult to move forward.

But what if you don't need a five-year plan or a ten-year plan to begin discovering what's next?

In this episode of Just Count Me In, we're challenging the idea that you should always have your future mapped out. We'll explore why uncertainty can feel uncomfortable, how our expectations and past experiences influence the possibilities we imagine, and why trying to find the perfect answer can sometimes keep us stuck.

You'll also learn how to distinguish between genuine desire and outside pressure, how to explore new possibilities without making an immediate commitment, and how to give yourself permission to change direction as you learn more about yourself.

In this episode, we'll explore:

• Why are we conditioned to believe we should always know what's next?
• The pressure of five-year plans, ten-year plans, and constant self-improvement.
• Why uncertainty can feel threatening and how it can contribute to overthinking.
• How our past experiences influence what we imagine is possible.
• The difference between having direction and being attached to a specific destination.
• Why staying in a familiar situation isn't always the same as choosing what is right for you.
• How to explore possibilities without committing to an entirely new life.
• Why even family traditions can evolve as our lives change.

The Next Chapter Process: Six Steps

1. PAUSE: Take the pressure off and distinguish what you genuinely want from what you feel you should want.
2. NOTICE: Recognize what's working, what energizes you, and what no longer feels right.
3. RELEASE: Question expectations, old identities, and fears that may be limiting your choices.
4. OPEN: Make room for possibilities you haven't considered.
5. EXPERIMENT: Take a small step to gather information without making a major commitment.
6. REFLECT: Learn from what you discover and decide whether to continue, adjust, or explore something else.

Questions to Consider

• What is working in my life right now that I want to preserve?
• When do I feel most engaged, connected, and energized?
• What do I believe I should have accomplished by now—and where did that expectation come from?
• What am I curious about that I haven't explored?
• What am I afraid I might lose if my life changes?
• If I didn't have to decide today, what possibilities would I explore?

A Few Thoughts to Take With You

"Your future should be informed by what you discover, not just what you can imagine today."

"A plan should give you direction, not become a limitation on your potential."

"Don't become so committed to the life you planned that you miss the life that's trying to unfold."

Your next step: Choose one possibility you've been curious about and take one small step toward exploring it. You don't need to know where it will lead.

If this episode resonates with you, share it with someone who may be feeling the pressure to have everything figured out. Follow Just Count Me In for more conversations about personal growth, alignment, and living with greater intention.

Research and Further Reading

The neuroscience in this episode is informed by research on uncertainty, threat processing, and how prior knowledge influences perception and expectations.

• Tanovic, E., Gee, D. G., & Joormann, J. (2018). Intolerance of uncertainty: Neural and psychophysiological correlates of the perception of uncertainty as threatening. Clinical Psychology Review. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.cpr.2018.01.001
• Teufel, C., & Fletcher, P. C. (2020). Forms of prediction in the nervous system. Nature Reviews Neuroscience. https://doi.org/10.1038/s41583-020-0275-5
• American Psychological Association. 10 Tips for Dealing with the Stress of Uncertainty.https://www.apa.org/topics/stress/uncertainty

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Just Count Me In with Sari Stone

How do you know when it's time to let go—and when something simply needs to change?

In this episode of Just Count Me In, Sari Stone explores the seasons of life, the relationships that shape us, and the importance of recognizing when something has served its purpose.

Not every person who enters our lives is meant to stay forever. Some become lifelong friends, some guide us through a particular chapter, and others leave us with one small but meaningful lesson that stays with us long after they've gone.

Sari also explores Professor Adam Grant's distinction between allies, pals, and companions—and how understanding the different roles people play can help us avoid expecting every relationship to meet every need.

We'll look at the energy exchange in our lives: what our relationships, work, habits, commitments, and environments give us, and what they cost us. We'll also explore how rumination can keep us emotionally stuck, and how our emotional states can be reflected in heart-rhythm patterns.

Nature offers another perspective, from trees that release their leaves in different seasons to bald eagles that can form new pair bonds after losing a mate.

In this episode, you'll explore:

• Why letting go doesn't happen on one timeline
• How to recognize when a relationship has served its purpose
• The difference between allies, pals, and companions
• How to evaluate the energy exchange in your life
• When something difficult is still meaningful and worth doing
• How repetitive thinking can keep us stuck
• What the HeartMath frustration-to-appreciation comparison illustrates
• How to recognize whether it's time to release, change, or accept something

A question to take with you:

What am I holding on to right now—and is it time to release it, change it, or learn to relate to it differently?

You don't have to erase what was meaningful to make room for what comes next.

Sometimes the most important part of letting go isn't what we leave behind. It's what we finally make room for.

If this episode resonates with you, please follow Just Count Me In, share it with someone who might need it, and join the conversation.

— Sari Stone

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What does it take to bring a creative vision to life when the journey takes more than a decade?

In this episode of Just Count Me In, I speak with Sharron Rose, an independent filmmaker, author, and Qigong practitioner whose award-winning film 'Quantum Chi" has received recognition internationally.

Sharron shares the story behind creating and funding her film independently over more than ten years—a journey that speaks to persistence, conviction, and the commitment to bringing a vision into the world.

We also explore a more practical question: How can we make a little space for ourselves amid the demands of everyday life?

Sharon introduces Qi-gong, a practice combining gentle movement, breathing, and attention, and walks us through a simple exercise you can try yourself. No previous experience or special equipment is required.

https://youtu.be/3BM30Ma8mdg?si=3wN_okh1h4ybD2iK

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Have you ever made a change you wanted—then wondered whether you made a mistake?

Maybe you moved somewhere new, started college, changed careers, accepted a new job, launched a business, stepped into a leadership role, or made a major purchase. Even when a decision makes sense, the reality can feel very different from what you imagined.

In this episode of Just Count Me In, Sari Stone explores why change can be emotionally challenging, why we sometimes experience buyer’s remorse or second-guess decisions, and what neuroscience and psychology can teach us about navigating uncertainty.

Research on the first year of college shows that homesickness is common, although people's experiences vary. Research on workplace transitions highlights the importance of role clarity, confidence, and social acceptance as people adjust to new environments. And psychological research on counterfactual thinking helps explain why we can become preoccupied with the choices we didn't make.

In this episode, you'll discover:

• Why a change you wanted can still feel uncomfortable.
• How uncertainty, unfamiliar routines, and new expectations can affect adjustment.
• Why we sometimes compare our real choices with idealized alternatives.
• How buyer's remorse can show up after a small purchase or a major life decision.
• Five practical ways to build confidence, connection, and a sense of belonging in a new chapter.
• How to distinguish normal adjustment discomfort from a genuine sign that something needs to change.

The goal isn't to convince yourself that every decision was right. It's to learn how to evaluate your choices without automatically turning uncertainty into regret.

Reflection question: Am I discovering that this choice was wrong, or am I simply experiencing the discomfort of adjusting to something new?

Listen, follow Just Count Me In, and share this episode with someone navigating a new chapter.

Research referenced

1. English, T., Davis, J., Wei, M., & Gross, J. J. (2017). “Homesickness and Adjustment Across the First Year of College: A Longitudinal Study.” Emotion, 17(1), 1–5. https://doi.org/10.1037/emo0000235
2. Bauer, T. N., Bodner, T., Erdogan, B., Truxillo, D. M., & Tucker, J. S. (2007). “Newcomer Adjustment During Organizational Socialization: A Meta-Analytic Review of Antecedents, Outcomes, and Methods.” Journal of Applied Psychology, 92(3), 707–721. https://doi.org/10.1037/0021-9010.92.3.707
3. Byrne, R. M. J. (2016). “Counterfactual Thought.” Annual Review of Psychology, 67, 135–157. https://doi.org/10.1146/annurev-psych-122414-033249
4. Chernev, A., Böckenholt, U., & Goodman, J. (2015). “When Product Assortment Leads to Choice Overload: A Conceptual Review and Meta-Analysis.” Journal of Consumer Psychology, 25(2), 333–358. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jcps.2014.08.002
5. Sterling, P., & Schulkin, J. (2019). “Allostasis: A Brain-Centered, Predictive Mode of Physiological Regulation.” Trends in Neurosciences, 42(10), 740–752. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.tins.2019.07.010

Research note: These studies examine adjustment, decision-making, and predictive regulation; they do not establish that every transition takes a year or that all discomfort is simply an adjustment phase.

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Have you ever felt different from the people around you, even when you couldn't explain why?

On this World Mental Health Day, join me and therapist Gaëtan Klein for a powerful conversation about what he calls the wall of glass—the invisible barrier he experienced between himself and the world.

Gaëtan shares his personal journey from feeling disconnected and misunderstood to discovering a new way to understand himself and his relationships.

In this episode, we explore:

• What it feels like to be surrounded by people yet still feel alone.
• Why some people mask their struggles while appearing successful on the outside.
• How these experiences can affect children, adults, friendships, and relationships.
• How sharing our stories can help others feel seen, understood, and less alone.
• Gaëtan's therapeutic approach and his hope for creating more connection and understanding in the world.

You don't have to experience life exactly as everyone else does to deserve connection and belonging.

Listen, reflect, and share this episode with someone who needs to hear that their struggle deserves a voice.

Connect with Gaëtan: https://www.gaetanklein.com/

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We live in a world of constant stimulation. From screens in restaurants and waiting rooms to the phones we reach for every time there's a quiet moment, we've become increasingly uncomfortable with doing nothing.

But what happens when we lose the ability to simply be with ourselves?

In this episode, Sari shares a personal experience that changed her relationship with silence and explores the impact of constant distraction on our self-awareness, our children and our ability to appreciate ordinary life.

Discover the difference between isolation and intentional solitude, why boredom isn't necessarily a problem, and how just 15 minutes of uninterrupted time can help you reconnect with yourself.

What if the stillness you're avoiding is exactly where you need to go?

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What if we stopped thinking of “why” as a question that puts us on the defensive—and started seeing it as an invitation?

As children, we ask why constantly. We want to understand. We want to explore. We want to make sense of the world. But somewhere along the way, “why” can become associated with blame, judgment, or confrontation.

In this episode, we’re reclaiming it.

Because sometimes the first answer isn't the real answer.

When something is frustrating you, asking why—and then why again— can take you beneath the surface reaction and toward the belief, fear, pattern, or unmet need underneath it.

We'll explore:

• Why why can feel so confrontational—and how the energy behind the question changes everything
• How repeatedly asking “why?” can help uncover what's really driving a reaction
• Why we often need to pull back from a situation before we can see our own patterns
• A simple hand exercise you can try to experience perspective literally
• The difference between asking why to judge and asking why to understand
• Why me? Why now? Why this? and other questions that can help us find meaning in difficult experiences
• How we can help children—and ourselves—stay curious rather than simply giving them answers
• Why we shouldn't always stop at the first explanation
• How to move from understanding → awareness → intentional action

And with the fall equinox and full moon in Aries arriving, we'll use this seasonal moment as an invitation to pause, look inward, release what no longer serves us, and become intentional about what comes next.

Because sometimes before we ask, “What should I do?”

We need to ask:

“Why?”

And maybe the most important question of all:

What are you ready to understand before you decide what you're ready to do?

After listening, consider:

What keeps bothering you that might be pointing toward something deeper?

What happens when you ask yourself why—and refuse to stop at the first answer?

And where in your life might you need to pull back far enough to finally see the pattern?

If this episode sparks something for you, I'd love to hear what your “why” uncovered.

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What if the thing you’re calling care, responsibility, or high standards has quietly become control?

Control can be incredibly sneaky.

Sometimes it looks like anxiety or constant checking.
 Sometimes it looks like being the responsible one who makes sure everything gets done.
 Sometimes it looks like high standards, perfectionism, parenting, leadership, protecting the people we love—or trying to optimize our health and our lives.

And sometimes, control looks a lot like love.

The problem isn't that we want to have agency over our lives. Healthy agency matters. We can make choices, prepare, communicate, set boundaries, take responsibility, and influence what happens.

But there is a line between doing our part and believing we have to control the outcome.

In this episode, we explore that line—and what happens when we loosen our grip.

We’ll look at:

• Why uncertainty can make us reach for control
• How control can hide inside responsibility, excellence, and high standards
• The difference between healthy agency and trying to guarantee an outcome
• Why parenting can make our own fears, expectations, and unresolved emotions surface
• How control can show up in romantic relationships through checking, monitoring, and technology
• Why successful leaders can struggle with delegation and letting other people do things differently
• The surprising ways control can show up in our relationship with our bodies, aging, health, and longevity
• Why more information doesn't always create more peace
• The difference between letting go, surrender, and resignation
• How to create the conditions for growth without trying to control the growth itself
• And perhaps the biggest question of all: What is actually mine to do?

One of the ideas I keep coming back to is this:

Care creates the conditions for growth. Control tries to guarantee the outcome.

We can create the conditions for a child to grow.
 We can create the conditions for a healthy relationship.
 We can create the conditions for a thriving business.
 We can care for our bodies and make choices that support our health.

But we cannot control another person's choices, guarantee a particular outcome, stop aging, eliminate uncertainty, or make life unfold exactly according to our plan.

And that doesn't mean we are powerless.

It may mean we're finally putting our power where it belongs.

A few questions to take with you:

What am I afraid will happen if I loosen my grip?

Where have I confused caring with controlling?

Where have I confused high standards with needing everything done my way?

Where am I gathering more information when what I actually need is trust?

What am I trying to control that actually belongs to someone else?

And finally:

What is mine to do—and what am I willing to release?

Surrender isn't giving up.

It can be the decision to do your part fully, with love, integrity, and intention—and then trust yourself to meet whatever comes next.

Care—but don't clutch.
 Guide—but don't dominate.
 Lead—but don't micromanage.
 Love—but don't possess.
 Prepare—but don't demand certainty.

Then loosen the grip.

Because maybe surrender isn't losing your power.

Maybe it's finally learning where your power belongs.

Listen to this episode if you're ready to explore control, trust, surrender, relationships, parenting, leadership, and the freedom that comes from releasing what was never yours to control.

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What if joy isn't something we have to wait for until life gets better?

What if joy can exist alongside grief, disappointment, uncertainty, and even tragedy?

In this episode, Sari explores a different way of understanding joy—not as forced positivity or pretending everything is fine, but as one of the ways we reconnect with life itself.

Inspired in part by the work of Stanford psychologist Dr. Kelly McGonigal and by recent experiences in her own life,  Sari explores why joy may be much more fundamental to our well-being than we realize.

She shares deeply personal stories about finding joy despite the circumstance. 

You'll explore:

• Why joy and grief can exist at the same time
• Why joy isn't the same thing as happiness
• How movement and the body can become a doorway into emotional well-being
• How memories can reconnect us with moments of joy
• Why beauty and attention matter when life feels overwhelming
• How to identify your own personal "doorways" into joy
• Why shutdown can be a protective response rather than something to shame ourselves for
• How we can prepare for difficult seasons before they arrive
• Why joy is valuable in the workplace—not a distraction from productivity
• How our environment can remind us who we are and what matters
• Why another person's joy can sometimes trigger envy
• How envy can become information about what we value
• Why joy isn't selfish
• How sharing joy can create connection and spread through families, relationships, communities, and workplaces

You don't have to pretend that everything is okay.

You don't have to force yourself to be happy.

You don't have to deny what hurts.

You can simply learn what brings you back to yourself.

Because sometimes joy is not a big feeling.

Sometimes it's a split second.

A memory.

A laugh.

A flower.

A sunset.

A song.

A person you love.

A moment of connection.

A reminder:

I'm still here.

And maybe that's what joy is really giving us.

A reason to stay connected to life.

A question to take with you:

What is one thing you already know gives you joy—and have you made room for it in your life?

Connect with Sari

Sari Stone is a holistic coach and K–12 tutor who helps children, teens, parents, adults, and leaders reconnect with themselves, find alignment, and create lives that feel authentic and expansive.

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This episode is dedicated to the 5 year old girl who lost her life here in Pawleys Island last weekend, and the community of caring people that I am blessed to live amongst and be a part of. The beauty of coming together and seeing the person in front of you.

A tragedy happened in a community—and in the aftermath of unimaginable heartbreak, something else happened too: people came together.

Neighbors reached out. People showed up. Connection grew. Compassion expanded. In the middle of something horrific, the community reminded us of something profoundly human: we have a choice about what we give our attention and energy to.

We cannot change what happened. We cannot erase the pain or pretend the horror isn't real.

But we can ask a different question:

What do we want to expand from here?

Because when we continually focus on fear, crisis, outrage and everything that is wrong, we can unintentionally keep giving those things more of our energy.

This episode isn't about ignoring tragedy or bypassing grief. It's about acknowledging what happened—and then consciously choosing to put our attention toward what we want more of.

More connection.
 More community.
 More compassion.
 More resilience.
 More love.
 More joy.
 More life.

We often think resilience means learning how to survive difficult things.

But what if resilience is also about our ability to redirect our energy toward what we want to create?

What if we stop asking only, “How do we manage the crisis?” and begin asking:

“What kind of world, community, relationships and life do we want to create—and what are we willing to give our attention to in order to expand it?”

This is an invitation to notice where your attention is going—and to remember that what we focus on expands.

In This Episode

• The tragedy that inspired this conversation
• How a community responded by coming together
• Why acknowledging horror doesn't mean we have to remain focused on it
• The relationship between attention, energy and what we experience
• Why crisis management can keep us anchored in what we fear
• The difference between denying something and choosing where to place your attention
• How connection and community can become part of the response to tragedy
• Moving from fear and reaction toward conscious creation
• What resilience looks like when we focus on what we want to expand
• Creating more connection, compassion, joy and a thriving love of life

A Question to Take With You

What am I giving my energy to—and is that what I want to see expand?

Because we can't always choose what happens.

But we can choose what we nurture next.

Subscribe & Connect

If this conversation resonated with you, subscribe to Just Count Me In and share this episode with someone who needs the reminder that even when we can't change what happened, we can still participate in creating what comes next.

Flow. Evolve. Transform.

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If this episode resonates, please share it with a friend who needs a little inspiration today!