Disappointment is a natural part of life. It can also be a powerful force that keeps us stuck or paralyzed. In this episode, learn to deal with your disappointment in a healthy way so you can move forward and come out on the other side better than before. 

Transformation Tip: You can’t be disillusioned unless you were believing an illusion to begin with.

Dealing with disappointment does not mean burying it or ignoring it

Time can only heal disappointment if you truly face it and deal with it

Ways to deal with disappointment:

• Let it out 
• Don't contain it - you need to feel it 
• Find a therapist or a trusted friend to vent to 
• Journal about it
• Gain perspective 
  • Find a trusted outside perspective
  • Were your expectations too high?
  • Separate your desire from the object of your desire
• Recenter yourself 
  • Don’t let disappointment define you - let it refine you
  • Remind yourself who you are 
• Live in the present
  • Disappointments of the past do not have to define who you are in the present
  • Allow disappointments to become learning experiences (growth mindset)
  • Allow yourself the ability to start over

Transformation Application: If you’re holding on to a disappointment, find time to let it out or gain a new perspective by talking to someone. 

Coaching Resources:

http://www.stevechuaintl.com

http://www.petecoaching.com/

https://www.insightoutcorp.com/

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Motivation should be your energy to thrive not your ability to survive. A lack of healthy motivation can keep you stuck, bored, and unfulfilled. In this episode, learn the three components you need to help you reignite your motivation today. 

Transformation Tip: “Motivation is what gets you started. Habit is what keeps you going.” – Jim Ryun 

Motivation: the energy to act

Three components of motivation: choice, connection, competence

• Choice
  • Sense of control over what is happening 
  • The freedom of choosing 
  • Agency 
• Connection
  • Sharing your accomplishments 
• Competence
  • Feeling yourself grow and excel 
  • Creates energy that allows you to move forward

When you have all three components working together in a healthy way it produces joy 

Transformation Application: Focus on the component of connection - pick something you have accomplished in the past month and go and tell someone about it!

Book Reference: 

Mastering Your Motivation |  Sarah Fowler 

Coaching Resources:

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http://www.petecoaching.com/

https://www.insightoutcorp.com/

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Trying something new can be intimidating - whether it be a new job, new activity, or new relationship. In this episode, learn the different stages of the learning and growing process so you can go into your next venture with your eyes open and equipped with the right mindsets.  

Transformation Tip: Persistent people are able to visualize the light at the end of the tunnel when others can’t see it” - Seth Godin 

Four stages of trying/learning something new:

• Unconscious incompetence 
  • You don't know what you’re doing, but you don't know it
  • Mindset: go for it
  • Capture the dream 
• Conscious incompetence
  • You don't know what you’re doing, but you are aware of it 
  • This is where most people quit 
  • Remind yourself why you’re doing this venture
  • Don't be too hard on yourself
  • Mindset: practice & perseverance
• Conscious competence 
  • You realize you do know what you’re doing!
  • Mindset: continue learning but lean into productivity 
• Unconscious competence
  • You’ve become intuitive at your craft -  it becomes so natural to you that you don't even have to think about it 
  • Mastery 
  • Mindset: don't let competence become complacency 

When to quit: 

• If you continue and you are getting limited results and every day you’re exhausted
• If you give it your very best with no results 

Transformation Application: Identify what phase you’re in, and what mindset you need to adopt right now. 

Coaching Resources:

http://www.stevechuaintl.com

http://www.petecoaching.com/

https://www.insightoutcorp.com/

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 Feeling stagnant or stuck? Growth and change go hand in hand. The key to helping you find your way forward may be found just outside of your comfort zone. In this episode learn how trying something new or challenging can help you break out of a fixed mindset and into a growth mindset. 

Transformation Tip: “Why waste time proving over and over how great you are, when you could be getting better.” - Carol Dweck

Neuroplasticity - your brain has the ability to grow and change.

Help yourself get unstuck by trying something new: 

• Try something out of your familiar field 
  • Get out of your comfort zone 
  • The boundaries of your comfort zone are fear 
• Try something challenging 

Types of fixed mindsets:

•  I want to stick to what I know
• Failure is the limit of my abilities 
• My abilities are unchanging 
• When I’m frustrated, I give up
• I am jealous of others’ success 
• Takes feedback and criticism very personally 

Neuroplasticity will get easier and easier as you continue to pursue it

Transformation application: Try something new, challenging or something that scares you this week. 

Coaching Resources:

http://www.stevechuaintl.com

http://www.petecoaching.com/

https://www.insightoutcorp.com/

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Boundaries are the limits we set with other people. Knowing and honoring our boundaries are signs of healthy self-worth and loving yourself. In this episode learn how to identify the areas where boundaries have been crossed and find practical ways to establish them to bring health and happiness back into your life. 

Transformation Tip:  “Daring to set boundaries is about having the courage to love ourselves, even when we risk disappointing others.” - Brené Brown  

Questions to ask to determine if you need help setting boundaries: 

• Do you pride yourself on always going the extra mile?
• Do you overextend yourself?
• Are you exhausted more days than not?
• Do you resent others for being too needy?
• Do you have a hard time saying no?

Boundaries are the limits we set with other people. Knowing and honoring our boundaries is a sign of healthy self-worth and loving yourself. 

5 kinds of self-worth:

• Intellectual worth 
• Emotional worth 
• Physical worth 
• Social worth 
• Spiritual worth 

How to set healthy boundaries:

• Recognize if a boundary has been tested 
  • Examine a past experience that made you feel uncomfortable, angry, resentful, or frustrated? 
• Don't take on more than you can handle 
  • How many things are you juggling?
• Be clear and assertive 
  • Did you communicate your boundary or did you just assume that people knew what it was? 
• This will take practice
• If people can’t respect your boundaries, learn to walk away

Transformation Application: Get a piece of paper and journal a past experience where you felt uncomfortable, angry, or resentful. Then begin to outline the boundary you feel they crossed. 

Coaching Resources:

http://www.stevechuaintl.com

http://www.petecoaching.com/

https://www.insightoutcorp.com/

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Many people find themselves stuck in difficult situations because of their need to please everyone around them. People-pleasing can be exhausting and overwhelming. This episode will help you identify the causes and effects of this habit and teach you how to establish healthy boundaries for yourself. 

Transformation Tip:  “I can’t tell you the key to success but the key to failure is trying to please everyone” - Ed Sheeran

Symptoms of people-pleasing:

• You find it really hard to say no  
• You feel responsible for everyone’s happiness
• You feel governed by guilt 
• You feel a sense of over responsibility
• You avoid relational conflict

Negative effects of people-pleasing: 

• Every time you people please you lose a sense of your personal boundaries
• People begin to assume that you can do and will do anything
• You become spread too thin and then you cannot do things to the best of your ability which causes people to become upset with you 
• Manipulative and abusive people will be drawn to and take advantage of you

Causes of people-pleasing:

• The need for validation causes you to chase opportunities to please people
• Fear of rejection
• Fear of being incapable (needing to prove you can do something)

How to overcome people-pleasing:

• Recognize your triggers
• Start saying no
  • No is a complete sentence
  • You will face resistance 
  • Be ready to stand your ground 

Transformation Application: Say ‘no’ to something this week. 

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When we’re feeling stuck, sometimes all we need is a shift in our mindset or perspective to help us figure out our next step. In this episode, learn practical ways to look at your situation from a different point of view and find a way to move forward. 

Transformation Tip: “When we change the way we look at things, the things we look at change.”

You can change your past 

• The events of your past have no power over you. It’s the story (narrative) about your past that has the power. 
• You can’t change the events of your past, but you can change the narrative 

Are you trying the same approach over and over again trying to get unstuck? It’s probably time to use a new/different tool. 

If you’re stuck you need an action to get you unstuck:

• Creating 
  • Inventing
  • Adding
• Eliminating 
  • Eradicate
  • Reduce
• Accepting 
  • For now 
• Preserve 
  • Choose what is worth maintaining
  • Make improvements 

Transformation Application: Take some time for self-reflection and ask: where am I stuck? Use the action words mentioned in this episode to help you move forward.

Coaching Resources:

http://www.stevechuaintl.com

http://www.petecoaching.com/

https://www.insightoutcorp.com/

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Sometimes we find ourselves stuck in a situation or in the middle of a transition where we feel lost or unsure of what our next step is. This episode will give you six questions to help you process your current state and equip you with confidence and wisdom to know where you’re going and how to get there.

Transformation Tip: don’t feed the weeds!

• Don’t become overly focused on negativity

6 Questions To Help You Get Unstuck: 

• What is success? 
  • In your current situation, how would you define success? 
  • You need to know where you’re going (vision) 
  • Define what your goal is - how will you know when you get there?
  • Success doesn’t need to be all in one go 
• What’s right? 
  • What is working? Where are your strengths?
  • Where are you getting the most return on your investment?
  • What relationships are feeding into you? 
  • Celebrate small wins 
• What’s wrong?
  • What isn’t working and what can we do?
  • Sometimes the things that are wrong cannot be fixed or are out of your control - accept it. 
• What’s confusing? 
  • What do you need clarity on? What can you not see clearly yet?
  • You can’t move forward without clarity 
  • Find an outside source that can help you sort through things 
• What’s missing? 
  • Where are the gaps? 
  • Resources? Skills? Relationships? Systems? 
  • How will you know when you get it? What will you get? 
• What’s important now 
  • The WIN principle - What’s Important Now?
  • What actions are you going to take? 
  • Take that first step 

Transformation Application: The Most Valuable Principle (MVP) will WIN (What’s Important Now). Take what is the most valuable principle from this episode and apply it now!

Coaching Resources:

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http://www.petecoaching.com/

https://www.insightoutcorp.com/

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Learning how to overcome the negative effects of comparison is imperative to aligning with your identity and thriving as your authentic self. In this episode, gain practical tools to help you conquer comparison and find joy in being you! 

Transformation Tip: You were born an original. Don’t die a copy. 

Tools to break comparison: 

• Rather than compare, seek connection 
  • Share experiences
  • Don’t be afraid to be vulnerable
  • Find authentic relationships
• Accept your limitations as a gift
  • They will keep you humble and grounded
  • Don’t look at your limitations as a disability 
• Monitor your empowerment 
  • When you are functioning in your true identity/authentic self you will feel aligned and things will fall into place for you
• Compare yourself to yourself 
  • Internal validation 
• Cultivate your inside environment 
  • If there is something in your life that speaks to you and makes you feel good - write it down and revisit them when you’re feeling external pressure of comparison
  • This will remind you who you really are and the greatness within
• Stand your ground
  • Remind yourself that other people’s reactions have nothing to do with you. Don’t listen to their opinions. 
  • As you start to break the mold culture has put you into, people will notice and might have a negative reaction to that and try to put you back in your “place”
  • Stand your ground!

Transformation Application: Each day find something to celebrate in someone else and tell them! 

Coaching Resources:

http://www.stevechuaintl.com

http://www.petecoaching.com/

https://www.insightoutcorp.com/

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Comparison is a tool -  it can be healthy or destructive. The key is being able to identify when comparison is helping versus hurting our identity. In this episode, learn how to identify the patterns of negative comparison in your life. 

Transformation Tip:  “Comparison is the thief of joy.” - Teddy Roosevelt 

Comparison is a tool - it can be healthy or destructive.

When it comes to negative comparison, don’t take the bait!

How do you know if the comparison is helping (upward) or hurting (downward)?

• If you can be inspired and motivated to be better (upward)
• If you’re comparing achievements (downward)
• If it leaves you feeling inferior (downward)

Comparison leads to performance orientation. When comparison makes us feel inferior, we then feel like we need to prove our worth through performance. 

Our self-expectations can develop into a super image of what we think we need to be, but we will ALWAYS fall short of that image because there will always be someone we think is better than ourselves.

Transformation Application:  This week catch yourself when you start comparing. Ask yourself whether this comparison is causing you to think upwards or downward.

Coaching Resources:

http://www.stevechuaintl.com

http://www.petecoaching.com/

https://www.insightoutcorp.com/

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