Transformational Leadership: From the Insight Out

Learning how to overcome the negative effects of comparison is imperative to aligning with your identity and thriving as your authentic self. In this episode, gain practical tools to help you conquer comparison and find joy in being you! 

Transformation Tip: You were born an original. Don’t die a copy. 

Tools to break comparison: 

• Rather than compare, seek connection 
  • Share experiences
  • Don’t be afraid to be vulnerable
  • Find authentic relationships
• Accept your limitations as a gift
  • They will keep you humble and grounded
  • Don’t look at your limitations as a disability 
• Monitor your empowerment 
  • When you are functioning in your true identity/authentic self you will feel aligned and things will fall into place for you
• Compare yourself to yourself 
  • Internal validation 
• Cultivate your inside environment 
  • If there is something in your life that speaks to you and makes you feel good - write it down and revisit them when you’re feeling external pressure of comparison
  • This will remind you who you really are and the greatness within
• Stand your ground
  • Remind yourself that other people’s reactions have nothing to do with you. Don’t listen to their opinions. 
  • As you start to break the mold culture has put you into, people will notice and might have a negative reaction to that and try to put you back in your “place”
  • Stand your ground!

Transformation Application: Each day find something to celebrate in someone else and tell them! 

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There is a big difference between listening and hearing. Learning how to be fully present in conversations will strengthen your connections and relationships. One of the best ways to show honor and respect to another person is to truly listen to what they are saying. In this episode, gain practical tools to help you become a better listener. 

Transformation Tip: “Most people do not listen with the intent to understand, they listen with the intent to reply.” - Stephen Covey

There is a big difference between listening and hearing. 

Ways to focus on listening: 

• Put your phone away! 
• Be fully present 
• Let people finish their sentences before jumping in with your thoughts 
• Pay attention to the other person’s body language 
• Empathize 
• Give encouraging verbal cues
• Clarify and paraphrase what you’ve heard 
• Ask good questions

People become much more open to hearing what you have to say when they know that you have listened to what they have to say 

Transformation Application: PUT YOUR PHONE AWAY! Be fully present when listening to people. 

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Do you find yourself constantly looking for external validation and approval? This episode is for you. Learning to approve of yourself (flaws and all!) is key to being able to live in a place of freedom and bring the best out of those around you.

Transformation Tip: A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval - Mark Twain 

If you keep finding yourself in the approval trap, it is an indication that you are having a problem fully loving and accepting yourself. 

Examples of the approval trap: 

• Name Dropping
• Fishing for compliments

Transformation Application: Answer these 3 questions. 
1) Do you approve of yourself? 
2) Why or why not? 
3) If you don't, what will it take until you do? 

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Transformation Tip: “Efficiency is doing things right, effectiveness is doing the right things.” - Peter Drucker

Efficient  - achieving maximum productivity with minimum waste of effort and expense

• Management focused

Effective - being successful in producing a desired result 

• Leadership focused 

With efficiency and effectiveness, one is not better than the other, it is knowing when to use each one.

• Efficient - take your ideas and assert them 
  • Get your team on board with your idea by forcing it 
• Effective - collaborate 
  • Slow down so everyone is on board 
  • You need other people to round out your ideas 

Transformation Application:  Ask yourself “What tasks could I allow others to do that I have been doing myself? Put it into action and teach others how to do those tasks!

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Many people are overly focused on external leadership, but fail to realize the importance of self-leadership as a means to becoming a better leader to others. In this episode, Steve and Pete give practical tips for creating healthy self-awareness and developing the leader within each of us.  
 
 Transformation Tip: “Everything rises and falls on leadership” - John C. Maxwell

As soon as you notice something off, try to process it right when it happens 

• You can never bury your problems dead; they will always resurrect 

Taking care and paying attention to yourself is important!

Stop and take stock of where you are. 

• Establish rhythms where you reflect on what happened in your week
• Listen to those around you 

Learn to articulate what you are feeling when an issue arises within you. 

• Ask yourself: “What or who is causing this situation?” 
• Ask yourself: “Why is it impacting me?”
• Ask yourself: “How have I been handling this?”
• Ask yourself: “What character traits need to be developed?”

Transformation Application: Start a journal. Try for 3x a week. Review your day and start developing self-awareness for yourself. 

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Transformation Tip: “When we choose what to see and who we hang out with, we’re actually choosing our future.” 
 
Many people don't consciously choose their worldview. 
 
There is a battle for our attention, our beliefs, and our values, which is pushed through media outlets. 
 
What is my truth? 

Transformation Application: Find a headline of a current event and go and read that story in three divergent outlets. See the truth in them and find a balanced view.

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Transformation Tip: “Without Clarity you can’t move forward.” - Steve Chua

Concept(s):

1. Clarity is identifying and articulating the one thing that’s most important.
2. Not a new idea you haven’t thought of. It is already in you. 
3. Process of removal - remove small complications so only the big thing remains
4. Seeing how the pieces fit together

Transformation Application: We want to bring clarity to your purpose, so do one of the exercises mentioned and write out a purpose statement whether in 2 words, 12 words or 2 sentences. Remember is about who you are not what you’ve done!!!

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Transformation Tip: “The place God calls you to is the place where your deep gladness and the world’s deep hunger meet." - Frederick Buechner

Concept(s)

1. “You think you’re God’s gift to the world!” implying that they thought too highly of themselves. Well, the truth is, you really are God’s gift to the world!
2. You were born for a purpose
3. Our perspective is that we believe we were placed on this earth for a reason.
4. Difference between purpose and path
5. Written in your design

Transformation Application: Ask this question - Why was I placed on the Earth? Journal and reflect.

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Transformation Tip: “Your mess becomes your message.”- Ed Silvoso

Concept(s)

1. Life can be hard—really hard. 
2. These challenges helped shape who you are, and if you’ve worked through them, you’ve learned some valuable lessons. 
3.  A person to whom things come easily may not be able to explain their technique. But a person who had to learn the hard way can often explain, instruct, and empathize more effectively.  

4. IF you’ve worked through it.  

5. Might be broader than your situation.

Transformation Application: What part of your story—your mess—might actually be your message? Don’t hide it. Share it. Someone needs to hear it.

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Transformation Tip: “The things that we love tell us what we are.” — Thomas Aquinas

Lead In

Concept(s)

1. The word “Passion” is overused.  
2. Sometimes looks like anger - the same coin
3. Desire versus the object of your desire
4. What do you really want?

Transformation Application: Draw a heart shape. Start filling it in with words that surfaced during these questions.

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