Transformational Leadership: From the Insight Out

Transformation Tip: “Success leaves clues” - Tony Robbins

Concept(s)

1. Looking at your past to identify times when you felt pride in your work and a sense of accomplishment, enjoyed it, you were probably in your zone, and leveraging your favorite skills and talents. 
2. Reverse engineer those scenarios to find patterns and trends
3. Looking at your past can also show which activities and settings did NOT work for you.
4. Caveat - We’re not talking about a “winning formula.” That can lead to problems
5. The biggest barrier to success is past success
6. Rather, the traits, skills, and talents that went into past successes. They can be repurposed and recombined for new opportunities.

Transformation Application: Just start by writing out your first story

Other Resources:

Book: What Color is Your Parachute? https://www.amazon.com/What-Color-Your-Parachute-Meaningful/dp/1984861204/ref=sr_1_1

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Transformation Tip: “What would happen if we studied what was right with people instead of what's wrong with them?" - Don Clifton

Concept(s)

• People are complex. Human development and the person. 
• Helps you understand yourself, your needs, and your blind spots
• Helps you understand other people
• Giving traits a name and dissecting shines the light of understanding
• Who you are NOT.  What to stay away from. 
• Where to position yourself, and where you thrive

Transformation Application: Take an assessment. Read through the whole report.

Assessments:

Gallup CliftonStrengths https://store.gallup.com/p/en-us/10003/cliftonstrengths-34 mailto:[email protected]

Thinking Wavelength  mailto:[email protected]

MBTI https://www.16personalities.com/

The Enneagram https://enneagramtest.net/

Motivational Gifts https://www.gifttest.org/

DISC https://www.123test.com/disc-personality-test/

Hogan Assessments https://www.hoganassessments.com/

Kolbe A Index https://www.kolbe.com/

Birkman method https://birkman.com/the-birkman-method

Lions Lead https://www.lionslead.com/

Parin https://www.pairin.com/

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Transformation Tip: Nosce Te Ipsum - Know Thyself  - Socrates

Concept(s):

• Other people can see you better than you see yourself
• We’re our own worst counselors
• Blind spots
• Negative AND Positive qualities
• We tend to discount that which comes easily to us
• Accurate encouragement is powerful
• Constructive criticism, done well, can really help someone

Transformation Application: If you feel courageous enough, do a 360.

Free 360 tool https://www.petecoaching.com/blindspot

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Transformation Tip:” Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive." - Howard Thurman 

Concept(s)

1. Misalignment is a more significant factor contributing to burnout than overwork.
2. There’s a need for self-awareness so you can identify where you’d fit.
3. Are some people just lucky? 
4. Alignment 
5. In the next episodes, we’ll give you the framework to help you gain clarity, and then wrap it up!

Transformation Application: Think about 2-3 pivotal moments where you came alive. Write them down. 

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Transformation Tip: “Turn your wounds into wisdom”. - Oprah Winfrey

Concept(s)

Consequences of unresolved pain form unhealthy mindsets and behaviors (the 10 saboteurs)

1. The Judge: generates false assumptions resulting in selective hearing. 
2. The Avoider: directs attention away from the conflict, leading to a lack of resolution
3. The Controller: self-protects and creates a fearful negative perspective of what can go wrong, restricting others and destroying relationships
4. The Hyper-Achiever: constant performance. Get self-worth from achievement. Unsustainable. make you too goal-focused (miss relationships and the big picture). 
5. The Hyper Rational: Feeds the controller and has a fear of taking risks (faith).
6. The Hyper-Vigilant: results in danger-awareness level being calibrated to an extreme (worst-case scenario). Can never relax/anxious
7. The Pleaser: Can’t say “NO” and has no boundaries – overwhelmed – guilt-driven. 
8. The Restless causes one to look for escape or comfort (grass is greener), Busyness
9. The Stickler: needs perfection to find security and value, is caught in so much detail- can’t let go (too possessive).
10. The Victim: causes one to take things (too) personally, focus on emotional state, and spend too much time venting and dwelling on all wrong negativity.   

Practical:

POSITIVE INTELLIGENCE (SAGE QUALITIES)

1.   EXPLORATION 

2.   EMPATHY

3.   INNOVATION

4.   NAVIGATION

5.   ACTIVATE 

Transformation Application: Go take the test. Get the book.

https://www.positiveintelligence.com/saboteurs/

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Transformation Tip: “Grief is the price we pay for love.” - Queen Elizabeth II

Concept(s)

1. Grieving is the natural human process of emotional suffering and adjustment experienced after a loss. It’s a resolution of internal conflict that allows one to move forward in life. 
2. It brings mental and emotional health, and potentially physical health.
3. It means you love and that you care
4. That’s why you hurt
5. You need to decide to process it
6. Unprocessed, it can reside for years

Transformation Application: If you’ve identified someone who wounded you, write a letter about how it impacted you, and get out your emotions. Forgive them. Burn it

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Transformation Tip: “Self-forgiveness is not letting yourself off the hook. It’s gently taking the hook out.” — Dr. Thema Bryant

Concepts:

When we act in ways that betray who we are, hurt others, or make bad decisions.

• Unintentional mistakes/poor decisions
• Unintentionally hurt someone 
• Moral failure - betraying your conscience
• Intentionally hurt someone (revenge, slander, etc.)

It will lead to this cycle:

1. Shame

2. Guilt & Regret

3. Condemnation

4. Self-Judgment

5. Self-Rejection

6. Self-Hatred

7. Mind Oppression

8. Escape, performance, or False Comfort 

9. Compulsion and Addiction

WE NEED TO BREAK THE CYCLE! This episode gives tips on how to break the cycle of shame and take steps towards forgiving yourself!

Transformation Application: Pick one thing and forgive yourself.

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Transformation Tip: “Forgiveness isn’t a feeling… It’s a choice.”

What is forgiveness?

• It releases any judgments we may have of the offender
• I let go of my right to be bitter, angry, vengeful, punitive, etc.
• We release our rights for an apology, vindication or justice
• It releases the offender from me to the universe 
• It prepares the way for us to deal with our negative emotions 
• It prepares the way for healing and potential reconciliation
• It is a daily process and may require repetition

Transformation Application: JUST DO IT!!

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Transformation Tip: “The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong." - Mahatma Gandhi 

Concept(s)

1. Offense -> hurt -> justification -> self righteousness -> judgment -> pride
2. A judgment is an authoritative conclusion that my perception is the only way to see things 
3. Rooted in offense and pain.
4. How do I know if I have a bitter-root judgment?
5. Fruit of a bitter root

Next week, we will give you the steps to let go and help you understand what happens when you do!

Transformation Application: Make a list of the people/organizations that have hurt or offended and do you feel you are still carrying a judgment towards them?

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Transformation Tip: “There is nothing to fear except the power you give your own demons” - Sally Gardner

• What do we mean by your demons? - Internal thoughts and emotions that oppress, depress, obsess, and judge us or others.
• They imprison our minds with negative emotions and cause us to interpret life and relationships through a negative and potentially destructive lens 
• Leads to irrational behavior and unhealthy internal narratives
• Leads to confusion because it’s often not rational or logical
• 2 types of internal conflict
• If we keep our demons it utilizes our energy to suppress our feelings and thoughts which will eventually exhaust us or affect our productivity. 

In this episode, we will go over how to face, identify, and manage your demons in practical ways! This will set us up for the following weeks as we dive deeper into this series. 

Transformation Application: If you’ve identified an unhealthy narrative, try to identify where it came from. 

Additional Resources

• Wheel of emotions https://www.petecoaching.com/wheel-of-emotions-tool
• Book - Positive Intelligence by Shirzad Chamine

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