The Collide Podcast

Trauma, Childhood Pain & Trying Softer


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Why do I still feel stuck… even though I love Jesus?

In this honest, compassionate, and eye-opening conversation, Willow sits down with trauma therapist and author Aundi Kolber to explore the connection between faith, emotional health, and the nervous system—and why so many women feel disconnected from the healing they long for.

Aundi shares vulnerably from her own story of childhood trauma—how she learned to survive by “white knuckling” life, staying hyper-aware, and becoming the “good” and successful girl on the outside… while internally feeling anxious, disconnected, and afraid.

What she didn’t realize at the time is something so many women experience:

just because something feels normal doesn’t mean it’s healthy.

Together, Willow and Aundi unpack the moment when survival strategies stop helping and start hurting—and why healing often begins by simply noticing the mismatch.

They also gently challenge one of the most common beliefs in Christian culture:

that if you have faith, you should already be healed.

But the truth is—healing isn’t instant, and it’s not something we earn by trying harder.

In fact, trying harder might be the very thing keeping you stuck.

Instead, Aundi introduces a new invitation: to try softer.

Not as a way of giving up…

but as a way of becoming present.

Present to your story.

Present to your body.

Present to the God who is already with you.

This conversation will help you understand why your pain may still be showing up, how trauma lives in your body, and what it looks like to invite Jesus into your healing in a real, practical way.

In this episode, you’ll learn:
  • Why “trying harder” can actually block your healing
  • How trauma impacts your body, faith, and relationships
  • What it means to “try softer” in everyday life
  • Why naming your story is a powerful step toward freedom
  • How to stop spiritually bypassing pain and start processing it
  • What it looks like to invite God into your healing in real time

Final Encouragement

You don’t have to rush your healing.

You don’t have to prove your faith.

And you don’t have to pretend you’re okay.

God isn’t waiting for a finished version of you.

He meets you right here—in the middle of your story.

And maybe today…

He’s inviting you to try softer.

Connect with Aundi
  • Website: aundikolber.com
  • Instagram: @aundikolber
  • Substack: substack.com/@aundikolber
  • Books: Try Softer, Strong Like Water

Collide Book

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Mentioned in this episode:

Order Your Copy of Collide: Running into Healing When Life Hands You Hurt

Grab your copy online or at your favorite retailer.

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The Collide PodcastBy Willow Weston

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