Trigger Proof Transmissions

Curtis is a good-looking dude.

When I see his Instagram videos—shirt off, abs on display—

I admit I get a pang of jealousy. My dad bod under this shirt doesn’t compare.

But looks only get you so far.

Despite having no problem attracting women, Curtis faced one consistent issue:

He got friend-zoned.

Within months. Like clockwork.

He did all the “work.”
Facilitated under the great John Demartini.
Attended therapy, coaching, cognitive training—you name it.

But none of it mattered.

Because once a deep attachment was formed, 

usually after months of sex, the same nightmare played out:

The triggers would come roaring back.

• Unanswered Texts or Calls: He’d spiral into anxiety, 
  getting pushy or needy, triggering her to withdraw.
•  Emotional Distance: Her need for space made him feel rejected, 
  and he’d show up controlling, amplifying the very thing he feared.
• Ambiguity in Commitment: His pressure for clarity 
  triggered her to pull away, leaving him feeling abandoned.
• Conflict: Instead of holding his ground,
  he’d fawn and people-please, erasing his own self-worth 
  and repelling her further.
• Her Focus on Others: A harmless shift in attention—
  from him to her friends, work, or hobbies—
  would send him into a tailspin of jealousy and insecurity.

And here’s the kicker:

No matter how much therapy, coaching, 

or self-help he consumed, 

the fear of abandonment still ran the show.

Every woman. Every time.

At 39, successful in his career 

but feeling like a complete failure in love, 

Curtis hit rock bottom.

He realized:

• He was chasing unhealthy, 
  unavailable partners while pushing away the secure ones.
• His unresolved fear of abandonment 
  was controlling his every move.
• He was abandoning himself in every relationship, 
  chasing validation like his life depended on it.

When Curtis came to the Overview Experience, 

it zapped him like a neon sign:

This need for external validation wasn’t his fault.

It wasn’t a character flaw.

It was a wound.

A wound he was finally ready to face.

For the first time, he:

• Got out of his head and into his body.
• Healed his attachment wounds and learned to self-regulate his emotions.
• Stopped chasing validation and started owning his self-worth.

Within weeks, Curtis connected with a healthy, 

secure woman he had previously ghosted—

a relationship he had walked away from 

because it didn’t trigger the familiar anxiety he mistook for “chemistry.”

This time, he leaned in.

• He faced his fear of abandonment and alchemized it without letting it control him.
• He turned conflict into intimacy instead of shutting down or fawning.
• He stopped running on anxiety fumes and started showing up as his grounded, secure self.

Now?

• They plan their future together, naturally and without pressure.
• Their triggers are moments of growth, not chaos.
• Their relationship is a source of joy, not anxiety.

When he gets triggered, he knows exactly how to resolve it,
and show up as his healthy masculine magnetic adult self. 
(Here’s a share in the community training when he described the shift)

Curtis no longer lives in the fear of “friend zones” or failed relationships. 

Instead, he co-creates a relationship built on mutual respect, trust, and security.

This is the transformation that happens when you become Trigger-Proof.

He thought he had done all the things, mastered all the tools,
but still he ended up showing up as a fawner, 
with the disease to please, not owning his self worth,
and willing to abandon himself to seek external validation.

He realized that he left one stone unturned:

Becoming Trigger-Proof to his Fear of Abandonment. 
No matter who the person was he was dating,
it was his fear of unresolved fear of abandonment that was 
in the drivers seat.  

During the Overview Experience he saw it clearly, 
like a neon sign pointing him to the promised land.

This need for external validation wasn’t even his:
It was something he was born into.

It wasn’t a character flaw. 

There was nothing wrong with him.

Within weeks of shifting the frame back into his own body,
his own experience, 
Healing his attachment wounds,

he connected with a healthy and secure woman 
that over a year ago he ghosted because it didn’t bring up the same 
familiar anxiety levels as the unhealthy Trauma Bonded ones he was used to…

and they began the journey together. 

Within 2 months of dating he knew she was his person.

And for the first time, 
he showed up in a way where she was also “all in”. 

He was willing to lean into the fear of abandonment triggers 
that naturally pop up, and use them to resource himself further. 

He was willing to use his new found skills of turning conflict into deeper intimacy.

Their relationship grows deeper every day, 
and his relationship no longer runs on Anxiety fumes.

They plan together. 

They envision their future together.
No more “wondering.”
No more “friend zone” or ambiguity.

Their relationship unfolds naturally, 
without pressure, without control.

They navigate life’s challenges 
without spiraling into fear or self-doubt.

Triggers become opportunities for deeper intimacy, 
not signs of failure.

This is what it means to co-create a Trigger-Proof relationship:

• To stop chasing.
• To stop pining and waiting.
• To stop abandoning yourself for connection.

Instead, you show up as your secure, 
magnetic, adult self—grounded in your worth,
unshaken by external chaos. 
You’ve mastered the art of high-level secure relating, 
where your presence alone attracts healthy energy toward you.

And for the first time, you’re open to receiving it.

No more addiction to chaos.
No more pursuit of validation.
No more mistaking anxiety for love.

Imagine what that would feel like.

It happened for Curtis.
It happened for me.
And it can happen for you.

Man or woman,
it doesn’t matter.

But it starts with one decision:

To stop living by patterns that weren’t yours to begin with.
To rewire what didn’t start with you.
To de-condition the beliefs that have kept you stuck.

If you’ve felt trapped in the same cycles—
chasing, overthinking, losing yourself in relationships—this is your moment.

2025 is your year.

Because no one is coming to save you but you.

And the moment you decide to step into your power, 

the world will begin to meet you there.

Your wingman on the adventure,
Nima
----
This Black Friday, I’m offering $4,500 worth of live training 
on the most critical skills necessary to create a Trigger-Proof relationship in 2025.

It’s live on zoom, with 1:1 support, and transformative at home tools for under $400.

This isn’t for everyone. It’s for those ready to:

•  Expand their capacity for emotional discomfort.
•  Face their triggers instead of avoiding them.
•  Show up in relationships as their secure, magnetic, adult ...

Losing yourself in a relationship doesn’t feel good.

This is why our avoidant parts show up: 

To protect ourselves from losing ourselves. 

I was there--  wanting connection,

but not knowing how to connect without losing myself—

and being overwhelmed by my partners feelings,

and trapped in their moods.

That’s when I discovered what “enmeshment" was.

Let me paint a picture:

• Their mood shifts, and suddenly, your whole day is ruined.
• You’re walking on eggshells, constantly trying to avoid upsetting them.
• When they’re sad, anxious, or angry, it feels like your job to fix them—
or you’ll lose them.
• You keep giving more of yourself, 
hoping it’ll finally be enough for them to show up the way you need.

But it never is.

Instead, you’re left exhausted, resentful, and empty.

This is enmeshment—where the lines between you and your partner blur. 

Their emotions become your emotions. 

Their pain becomes your responsibility. 

Their chaos becomes your life.

At first, it feels like love. 

Like connection.

But here’s the truth:

It’s not love—it’s survival.

You abandon yourself to keep the peace. 

You sacrifice your needs to rescue them from their own pain. 

You live for their approval, because without it, you feel unworthy.

And deep down, you know something is wrong.

• Why do I keep giving so much and getting so little?
• Why does their happiness always come at the expense of mine?
• Why am I stuck in this loop of feeling unappreciated, invisible, and alone?

Here’s why:

Enmeshment isn’t connection. 

It’s a trap.

You can’t abandon yourself without creating resentment.
You can’t sacrifice your needs and expect to feel whole.
You can’t fix them without losing yourself in the process.

This pattern didn’t start with your current relationship—

it started long ago. 

Maybe in childhood, 

when breaking your own boundaries was the price of love. 

Maybe in past relationships, 

where giving too much felt like the only way to keep someone close.

If nothing changes, this becomes your reality:

• Constantly second-guessing yourself and your worth.
• Feeling drained and unfulfilled, no matter how much effort you put in.
• Living in fear that one wrong move could push them away.
• Resenting them, resenting yourself, and feeling stuck in a cycle of blame and guilt.
• Wondering why love feels more like a battlefield than a sanctuary.

The good news is that It doesn’t have to be this way.
You CAN become Trigger-Proof in relationships 

where things can slowly shift.

The way out isn’t waiting for them to change.
The way out is breaking free of the enmeshment patterns that keep you trapped.

When you do,

• Their moods no longer control your life.
• You stop feeling responsible for fixing them, and instead focus on your own peace.
• You set boundaries without guilt and watch as your energy begins to return.
• You reclaim your confidence, your voice, and your ability to show up authentically.

And when you create this space for yourself, 

you open the door to a different kind of relationship. 

One rooted in mutual respect, true connection, and emotional freedom, 

as a reflection to the safety you feel within YOURSELF. 

Imagine what life could look like in a Trigger-Proof Relationship:

• Waking up feeling free to be yourself, without fear of how they’ll react.
• Having calm, productive conversations instead of emotional blow-ups.
• Feeling safe in your relationships—not because they’ve changed, but because you have.
• Experiencing love that feels light, supportive, and real.

I wanted a reality where I could have a relationship without losing myself—

a space where we weren’t trapped in each other’s emotions.

No more sacrificing my identity for connection. 

No more disappearing into someone else.

The shift has been night and day for me.

This is what happens when you become Trigger-Proof.

It might not have been modeled for you growing up, and that’s okay—

it’s not your fault. 

But it is your opportunity to break the cycle of enmeshment

— for you and for the next generation.

Your wingman on the adventure.

Nima
________________________________________________________

P.S. 

If you’re tired of living in this cycle and ready to reclaim your boundaries, stop fawning, 

reply with “send me the details.” 

I’ll share a google doc with the info about my Black Friday opportunity to start this work THIS WEEK. 

It’s $4,500 worth of transformative training—live and personal—on zoom for under $400.
If you’ve ever wondered what it’s like to work with me directly, 

there won’t be another opportunity like this.
You don’t have to stay stuck. Let’s break this cycle together.

Nobody likes facing their shadows.

These darker parts of ourselves are buried in a ton of shame.

Even though we get into relationships to connect, 

love, and build a home that feels safe and secure,

without the right healing work, and lack of skills developed,

relationships end up feeling like a prison.

Their emotions and moods tend to infect yours.

You feel not seen, not heard.  

Emotions take over and the entire relationship 

feels like a mine-field where you’re just avoiding your triggers.

See if you can spot the signs: 

Feeling like your partner keeps you at arm's length 

and avoids meaningful conversations or emotional intimacy, 

leaving you feeling disconnected and unimportant.

(Hello Emotional Unavailability?)

- The hot-and-cold dynamic 

where your partner seems attentive and affectionate one moment 

but distant and uninterested the next,

creating confusion and anxiety.

(Hello Inconsistent effort?)

You struggle to address issues because your partner shuts down, 

avoids discussions, or becomes defensive whenever problems arise, 

leaving conflicts unresolved.

(Hello fear of conflict?)

Feeling emotionally isolated in the relationship, 

even when you're physically together, 

because your partner doesn't open up or share their inner world.

(Hello chronic loneliness?)

Noticing your needs and feelings are dismissed or ignored, 

leaving you feeling unimportant, unheard, or like you’re constantly walking on eggshells.
(Hello feeling undervalued?) 

Not to mention the lack of Initiative in planning, avoidance of vulnerability, 

attachment anxiety and the fear of abandonment constantly triggered, 

one sided energy between you two, leaving you 

constantly feeling uncertain about the future.

This is all the result of wounds that haven’t been addressed,

and even though it’s not your fault— 

YOU’RE NOT POWERLESS TO SHIFT THE DYNAMIC. 

That’s why, when someone—usually women or the feminine partner—

reaches out complaining about their partner’s emotional unavailability, 

reactivity, or lack of effort, 

and they’re just waiting for their partner to step up first before they’ll work on themselves, 

I cut straight to it:

You can’t force someone else to change. Period. 

Here’s the deal: If you’re sitting around waiting for them to magically wake up, 

take responsibility, and meet you halfway, you’re wasting your time. 

The longer you wait, the more you’re avoiding your part in the dynamic.

It’s like wanting to get fit but refusing to go to the gym 

because your partner isn’t sweating enough. 

Make it make sense. In a perfect world they will WANT to get healthy…

but to get healthy and change— one needs to be INSPIRED.

And think about the best way to inspire them.

This isn’t about who’s more at fault. 

It’s about taking ownership of your own growth, and becoming Trigger-Proof 

for yourself and no one else… so that, 

regardless of what they do, you’re not stuck in the same place. 

You can’t control them, but you can control you. 

So, the real question is: 

Are you willing to do the work, even if they don’t?

When someone commits to the path of being the Cyclebreaker…

When you become Trigger-Proof there’s magic on the other side:

IMAGINE THIS: 

You stop needing your partner to validate your worth. 

Their moods, words, or actions no longer control your sense of self or ruin your day.

You walk into every room knowing you don’t need to prove yourself. 

Your confidence is quiet, grounded, and undeniable—and it attracts people who see your value.

Saying “no” feels as natural as breathing. 

You’re no longer afraid of disappointing others or being seen as “difficult” 

because you prioritize your peace over their approval.

Arguments don’t escalate to chaos. 

Instead, you communicate clearly, regulate your emotions, 

and handle disagreements like a calm, rational adult. 

Fights don’t last for days—they’re resolved and forgotten.

People feel drawn to you—not because you’re trying to please them, 

but because your inner peace radiates outward. 

You’re no longer chasing anyone; they come to you.

By becoming Trigger-Proof, 

you become the kind of person who attracts—

and sustains—secure, loving relationships. 

It’s got nothing to do with “them stepping up”. 

It’s about you.

Yes.

You ARE that powerful.

Your wingman on the adventure,

Nima
____________________________________________________
P.S.

This Black Friday, I’m offering something game-changing 

for those ready to stop waiting for someone else to step up 

and start taking charge of their own growth.

It’s $4,500 worth of live training, 1:1 support, and community coaching 

inside my academy—designed to help you become Trigger-Proof in your relationships

—for under $400. (I’ve never done this before)

This includes The Trigger-Proof Relationship program which is a 21

day intensive.

If you’ve ever wondered what it’s like to work with me 

or felt like now’s the time to shift your relationship dynamic once and for all, 

this is your sign.

Reply to this email with "send me the details” 

and I’ll share everything you need to know about this exclusive Black Friday sale.

Space is limited to 20, and it’s first come, first served. 

If you’re ready to stop waiting and start shifting, jump in.

Alicia, in tears, was wrestling with feelings of failure over her healing journey. 

The setbacks felt overwhelming, like all her progress had crumbled in an instant.

She was drowning in self-judgment, 

unable to shake the guilt of her anxious attachment resurfacing.

She loathed how she seemed to slip back into old habits—ruminating, 

jumping to conclusions, criticizing, and clinging to control when triggered.

Constantly second guessing herself and showing up in needy energy.

She realizes she reacts in the exact opposite way that inspires him to connect—

by being critical and controlling.

Alicia, a single mother stepping back into the dating world 

after healing from a Trauma Bond, 

was fiercely determined to show up differently this time. 

No more self-abandonment. 

No more compromising her worth for connection.

In our cyclebreakers community, 

we talk about the two essential phases of healing from trauma bonds and the anxious/avoidant cycle: 

1) the inner restoration and 2) the relational practice. 

1) Think of the the INNER RESTORATION as the self work needed to grieve, heal, rest, and recover where

we find our self worth and repair with the parts of ourselves we abandoned and neglected

for the sake of connection.  

This part is the most confronting for our participants because almost everyone starts off in therapy

diagnosing their partners as narcissists, but they neglect to take ownership

for why they were the PERFECT MATCH for someone like that.

Hint: It all begins with a lack of self worth, and an identity that’s been groomed 

from childhood to abandon yourself when it comes to love.

To not speak up.

To have no idea how to share boundaries in an elegant way.

It wasn’t until Alicia mastered the first phase—

reclaiming her worth and making peace with the parts she’d neglected—

that she realized why she’d been a perfect match for unavailable partners.

This first part is CRITICAL if you ever want to get to the place where you 

are ready to let love back into your life.

It’s in the second part she felt she was struggling with a setback on her healing journey:

2) Part 2 RELATIONAL PRACTICE- is the work that can only be done WITHIN RELATIONSHIP. 

The fantasy is that a secure relationship is where we meet this "magical other”

who single handedly rids us of all our childhood complexes and insecurities.

That meeting the right person signals that our work is done.

Wrong.

This is where the REAL WORK begins. 

Healing isn’t a straight path; it’s more like building a bridge while standing on it. 

The structure wobbles, and there are moments when it feels like it might all come crashing down. 

But each stumble is a step in learning.

This is where I discovered how important it was to become Trigger-Proof.

The moment you step into a new relationship, 

expect those hidden triggers to resurface. 

The old doubts, the insecurities, the child-like reactions that scream for safety—

it’s all part of the real work. 

And that’s where many mistake it as a “setback."

But it’s not.

It’s when the real practice begins. 

The somatic practice of un-coupling from the identity of the needy child,

and truly embodying the healthy, functional adult self.

Your magnetic, adult self isn’t labelling your triggers as a “setback” on your healing journey.

Your triggers are not IN the way.

Your triggers ARE ON the way. 

When you master this nuanced dance,

You rebound back to adult self much quicker.

You’re less reactive.

You’re more magnetic.

More authentic.

More vulnerable. 

and this is IRRESISTIBLE to a secure connection,

because intimacy doesn’t mean PERFECTION. 

It means “being real” — and there’s nothing more attractive than the real authentic you.

Unfortunately without doing the deep work of #1 and #2, 

You get stuck in a loop in your reactive self. 

And your reactive self is a cover up for the vulnerable, magnetic, authentic self underneath.

Underneath the mask.

Underneath all the shame.

Underneath the addictions to alcohol, sex, substances, shopping, and external validation. 

And the good news is— you CAN gain access to that authentic version of you.

You DO have the capacity.

The only thing in your way is your WILLINGNESS.

The willingness to practice.

The willingness to learn.

The willingness to reframe each “setback’ on your healing journey to a “learning”.

Because healing is learning.

And learning is forgetting, until you practice enough and it becomes second nature.

Alicia’s journey didn’t end with that moment of tears. 

On the group training, she was able to shift her focus and reframed her 'setback' as part of her practice, 

and began to rebuild herself, one intentional moment at a time. 

The result was spectacular—  A profound shift toward embodying secure love.

Because learning to love and be loved securely is not just a skill—it’s the most important skill we can master.

Tell me what’s more important than that.

Your wingman on your adventure to learning, 

Nima
______________________________________

P.S.  Remember, every perceived 'setback' is really an invitation to deepen your practice. 

If you’re ready to uncover what’s been holding you back and take your journey to the next level, 

share your story with me. If you’re willing to receive some humbling, no BS feedback that’s real on the energy you’re putting out,

—ask for my calendar link, and let’s see what breakthroughs await for a free, no obligation intuitive blind spot session.

Here’s what I will need FIRST:

Inbox or comment with your backstory. Here’s what I’d like to know:

 • What have you already tried in terms of therapy or personal development?
 • What patterns or behaviors do you feel stuck in?
 • What do you think your biggest blind spots might be?
 • Why do you feel ready now to see these blind spots and make a change?
The more details you share, the clearer our starting point will be. 

FINISH YOUR STORY WITH “NIMA CAN I PLEASE GET A LINK TO YOUR PRIVATE CALENDAR?”

This is a note for women who are frustrated with the men they
are with (or seem to attract— wondering if all men are “weak”.)

Avoidant, weak men.

Never in a million years would I have imagined writing an email like this.

I’m a retired Chiropractor by training, not a psychotherapist.

You can imagine my inner resistance to sharing what I’m about to share:

- "Nima, what right do you have in sharing these 5 misunderstandings you noticed in women
who are tired of attracting weak men?"

- “Shut up, Nima, they’ll think you’re ‘mansplaining’”

- “The feminists will go mental over this.”

It’s true. There’s a vast majority of men who are showing up weak these days.
I won’t get into the reason why that is on this post.

I used to be one of them, and I ended up hurting the women I was with
before I had my wake up call.

I’m speaking to women who are tired of attracting the same type of behavior in men,
wondering if it’s even possible to evoke healthy masculine behavior,
instead of the following:

- F*ckboys who just want sex without commitment
- Men who don’t plan, don’t take the lead
- Men who don’t care about your feelings and are avoidant
- Men who aren’t devoted— they leave it all to you to decide
- Men who don’t pursue and cherish and want to go the distance
- Weak men who act like children— men you need to “mother”.

In interviewing dozens of women over the last few months
there were 5 gaps in understanding they all shared that kept them stuck in a loop
like it was groundhog day.

See if you can spot yourself in any of these unintentional blind spots:

1) OVER RELIANCE ON THEIR MASCULINE ENERGY:
While their strong, independent nature serves them well professionally,
it creates imbalance in personal relationships.
They often have trouble relinquishing control and
allowing themselves to be led by a masculine partner.

(What a catch 22 that is).

2) UNRESOLVED ABANDONMENT WOUNDS:
Past experiences of abandonment or neglect, often stemming from childhood,
lead to getting defensive when triggered. This makes it nearly impossible to form
secure attachments in adult relationships.

(Which is frustrating AF).

3) FEAR OF INTIMACY AND VULNERABILITY:
Many of these women have built up emotional armor to protect themselves,
which inadvertently pushes away potential partners who are drawn to vulnerability.
Masculine men loooove vulnerability. 

WEAK MEN ARE ATTRACTED TO YOUR PERCEIVED STRENGTH.

(See the conundrum here?)

Just wait— it gets juicier.

4) UNCONSCIOUS SHAME AND UNWORTHINESS:
Deep-seated feelings of shame or unworthiness
can cause these women to hide their true feelings,
creating a sense of mistrust that repels potential partners.
Masculine men feel “wait a second—what’s she hiding?”
and it causes that feeling of a lack of safety within — to spill outward.

(how maddening is that— when all you want is to be loved for who you are).

5) DIFFICULTY RECEIVING LOVE AND SUPPORT:
Many of these women struggle to accept care and affection from others,
often due to past traumas or a fear of vulnerability.
This can manifest as an inability to trust or fully open up in relationships.

👆🏽This one is the most challenging to overcome because in order to heal,
we MUST take the time and space to receive, which feels icky to that type of woman.

So this unconscious dance continues, and women are tired,
frustrated, feeling unlovable, unworthy, and sad that men aren’t stepping up…

yet they can’t see how they are LITERALLY CO-CREATING IT THEMSELVES.

Without even knowing— when women aren't addressing these blind spots,
they are unintentionally sending out a “bat signal” that PUSHES
healthy masculine behavior away, and calls for immature childish behavior.

One woman complained to me that no one makes her needs a priority.
“What about me and my needs????” she said.
And when it came time to attend my signature event— The Overview Experience, 
she couldn’t fully participate because she made herself available to everyone else, 
and took phone calls and found a way to miss the MOST IMPORTANT PART
— the climax at the end (which is a surprise that shocks everyone when they experience it).

It was a perfect reflection of her entire relationship dynamic— playing out in real time.

No time or space for your needs, desires, feelings, and emotions. 
Not feeling cared for.
Not a priority.

I see this kind of thing every day with frustrated men and women who have tried all the things. 

I want you to know if you can resonate with any of these blind spots,
I see you and it’s not your fault. 

I invite you to see your relationship story as a giant mirror.

In an ideal world, this “magical other” will come into your life and solve this painful dilemma for you.

Unfortunately in the real world WE must take the steps to make the shifts.

👆🏽when you get those right, you become Trigger-Proof and you master
the frameworks to get into a space of deserving, 
and you learn how to lean into those patterns and shift them,

Your self esteem elevates.
When your self esteem shifts, your behaviors change.
You begin to speak to yourself with compassion and kindness.
You start to show up with magnetism and the world opens up to you.
You feel desired, cherished, and taken care of.
Your needs become a priority.
You feel safe to surrender into RECEIVING. 

THIS is where secure love is formed.
The type of partner you attract begins to elevate.
This type of frequency you embody is a REPELLANT 
to weak, selfish and douchy type of behavior in men.

The only questions no one can answer for you is:

DO I BELIEVE I can change?
Do I have the WILLINGNESS to?

Answer those correctly, 
and you attract something TOTALLY different. 

Not all men are weak. 
There’s a frequency that causes us to shift, 
and shifts what we bring into our lives.

You deserve to understand how to tap into it.

Your wingman on the adventure, 
Nima

_______

P.S. If you resonated with any of these misunderstandings 
and feel like you’ve been attracting weak or avoidant partners, 
and are curious to get to the root of what’s been missing. 
Share your back story—hit reply and tell me what have you already tried 
in therapy or personal development, communication courses,
and what blind spots you think might be holding you back. 
If you’re genuinely ready to shift and finally step into a secure and fulfilling relationship, 
and you’re open to feedback from a man who has been “that guy” and can
pick out what causes women to attract that same type of guy I used to be,
ask for my private calendar link at the end— with “Nima can I get your private calendar link?”
If I see something in your story I’ll send you my link 
for a free 30 minute intuitive blind spot session.

I want to introduce you to Denise.
Maybe you can relate to her story.

"I am in a relationship that I am unhappy in,
my partner doesn't even like me, let alone love me.

He is always looking for something else,
someone else, someone better,

someone who will worship him and tolerate his poor behaviour and disrespect.
He makes me feel so small and insignificant.

I feel so confused.

Do I want to be with him?

Do I want to be alone?

Do I want to be with someone else?

Do I hate him?

Do I hate myself?

Am I just wanting to run away from my problems?

Am I staying because I am afraid of what people will think?

That I will disappoint them?

Am I staying because I am ashamed to ask for help?

Am I staying because I don't know what I will do?

Where I will live?

I do love him. Or am I just used to him?

I don't even know who I am or what I want anymore.

I feel so sad, as if I am grieving for something that could have existed.

Then I am angry, I just want to be in a happy, healthy and secure relationship.

Where I feel safe and valued and respected.

I feel as if I am always competing against someone else for what I want and deserve.

It reminds me of when I was with someone else, who was consistency inconsistent.

Who I lost myself to,
who I abandoned myself completely with,
and who betrayed me completely.

I do not feel I deserve happiness.
I am never good enough, despite how much I do for someone.
I am scared I am going to end up alone and lonely.

Or worse? In a toxic relationship and miserable,
while pretending to the world that everything is perfect.

Not feeling fulfilled. Not feeling safe and respected.

Why are relationships so hard?”

You might not have had the exact same experience as Denise,
but I’m willing to bet there are elements to her story that you can relate to.

Now in her 40’s, this is how she experienced relationships happening in her life.

She was a high achiever at work.
Took lots of communication and leadership courses.

A TON of talk therapy.

She definitely wasn’t lacking in intelligence.

When Denise attended the Overview Experience over 2 months ago,
she was taken back in time where she was in a reality growing up
where she was constantly competing with her
mother and sister for her father’s attention—
always feeling like she was falling short… alone and unwanted.

Can you see the pattern?

A Trauma Bond is like that:
It’s an intense pull towards a familiar pattern in childhood,
as an attempt to complete what was incomplete.

SAME AS I DID.

Denise’s relationships were all trauma bonds— just like mine.

SAME PATTERN.
Same lack of boundaries.

Same experience of “chasing”, “never good enough”.

It was a lightbulb moment for me when I realized
what was happening in my life.

That it wasn’t my fault.
I wasn’t broken.

Both heartbreaking and relieving.

I turned “hope” into commitment and got to work.

Because once you get to the root of it,
you are able to create a protective boundary around your energy.
Your self worth expands and your deserving level does too.
because you no longer are trying to use romantic partners
to fix what was broken in childhood.

Today I have a beautiful family I never thought I would have.
And I left Chiropractic to teach those willing to learn

That there IS a path to getting relationships that are mutual
secure, and nourishing.

That even though you might have been conditioned
to have relationships constantly feel “hard” or
to think you don’t deserve fulfillment….

I’m here to tell you that you DO.

YOU DESERVE IT.

Your wingman on the adventure,
Nima
--------------------------------------------
P.S. If this message resonates with you,
and you think you have tried everything—therapy,
communication courses, and countless self-help books.
Yet, finding yourself stuck in the same painful patterns—
consider you’re one blind spot revelation away from making a MASSIVE shift.

If you can stomach a painful revelation that takes the focus off the OTHER
person, and you’re open to feedback, If there are spaces remaining,
I’m offering a free Blind Spot Session to help you uncover a missing piece in your journey.

Here’s how to qualify for that Blind Spot Session:
1- Comment below and give me your back story. Tell me what’s happened in your dynamic.
2- Tell me what you have tried, books, courses, therapies.. What’s worked, and what hasn’t.
3- What work you do— and how this dynamic is impacting your work
4- Finish the back story with “Nima- can I get your private calendar link?”

👆🏽if you are able to get all 4 — and I think I can help— I’ll send you the link.
------------------------------------

LET'S CONNECT:

Facebook
Instagram
Email: [email protected]

Jennifer was unable to have a successful, peaceful, secure romantic relationship 
without allowing her anxieties and insecurities to sabotage it and push her partner away.

She has an anxious attachment style- constantly needing reassurance, 
constantly struggling with feelings of abandonment when her partner needs space and time, 
and although she is aware that everyone deserves to feel connection in their relationships,
she admitted that each time she is in a relationship— it’s the SAME argument that keeps coming up:

“Why aren’t you putting in the effort??? It feels like you don’t care, and I’m the last priority.”

What an exhausting place to be.
If you have found yourself there— just know that I see you.

You’re constantly second guessing yourself, reading books, talking to a therapist and having 
them tell you to “find other hobbies” as a solution.

She also studied polarity too— to learn how to communicate in a more feminine way 
to help produce a different outcome— to try to inspire more devotion in a man.

It definitely is helpful in the beginning.

Still— same anxiety— same frustration— same position with every guy, different hair cut.

While it’s important to create your own interests and passions, 
and learning how to communicate in a more magnetic way is helpful,
the frustration of constantly finding herself in the same situation
had her shifting to the other extreme:  Avoidance.

She was almost ready to give up.

“I’m done. I can’t do this anymore. I’m in my mid 30’s 
and I want to either learn how to break the cycle or just be single for the rest of my life.
I am done being the one to always have to chase.”

I hear stories like this every single day in my email inbox and my dm’s from 
men and women who are so sick of being stuck in the chasing and waiting energy 
that they have *almost* given up.

It’s like in my Chiropractic days— when people would reach out to me as a “last resort”
before throwing in the towel altogether. 

On our blind spot call, from carefully listening to her story— she uncovered something massive:

It’s not about the men and their avoidance.
It’s about what was unresolved within her.  

She realized an uncomfortable truth:  We simply can NOT create a relationship  
that feels fulfilling and nourishing without RESOLVING what was in the past.

She realized she’s carrying it all and she’s repeating the cycle.

Almost as if her younger parts were asking for her attention.
The attention she was craving from her partners.

It clicked for her. 
At the Overview Experience, we cover all this along the 5 pillars needed for Secure attachment 
and it was like a light bulb was set off— she realized going from that attachment blueprint
to a secure one wasn’t “therapy”— it was more like “training” and “conditioning” a muscle.

It was more of a “de-conditioning” of a way of being that began long before 
she even had the language to describe what was going on.

Interestingly enough— Today— Jennifer is dating again, but things are completely different.

She’s no longer pining.
She’s not leading with her anxiety.
She’s able to share her boundaries—and what feels right to her-- and have them respected.
If they aren’t— SHE IS ABLE TO FLOW HER ENERGY AWAY.

Imagine what it would be like to no longer have to abandon your own needs for the sake of connection.
To have the confidence to know that you ARE worthy. You ARE deserving.

Jenny decided that it was possible— once she had her blind spot revealed.

The person who wrote this comment on my social media page has decided it’s NOT.

I could relate— because I myself was constantly failing with love- until I decided 
that I was going to master and embody the pillars needed for me to become securely attached.

Today— I speak to you not as a retired chiropractor— but as a formerly insecurely attached man
who loves guiding others to breaking free from trauma bonds, healing codependency, and creating secure love.

You don’t have to live in the “chasing and waiting” energy.
You don’t have to swing to the opposite side and avoid relationships altogether.
You don’t have to cut people out of your life (unless they’re being abusive— then go right ahead.)

It’s simply as shift from “needing therapy” to “receiving training” and make the decision AS the secure person
you’re committing to becoming.

You deserve it.

Your wingman on the adventure, 

Nima
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
P.S. I’ve really enjoyed meeting my subscribers in these blind spot sessions.

If you are finally ready to discover what’s really been holding you back in your relationship dynamics, 

and you’ve already invested in personal growth and therapy, and you’re open to seeing what you may be missing, 

there’s an opportunity for a limited number of spots this week to hop on a free 30 minute zoom session.

No obligation.
Jennifer didn’t think she had any blind spots either—until she did. 

And in just one conversation, she uncovered the hidden patterns driving her relationship frustrations. 

What if you could do the same?

Imagine peeling back the layers of old wounds, 

unconscious beliefs, and the conditioning that’s been keeping you stuck, 

and finally stepping into a version of you that feels secure, confident, and worthy.

How to book it:

Send me your back story— giving me the details of the work you’ve done to resolve it.

What’s worked. What hasn’t. 

Why now is the time. 

Then finish with “Nima can I have a link to your private calendar?”

and if there are spots available— I’ll send the link over.

Thank you for being in my universe.

Over the past few weeks, I spoke to more than 30 women who identified as successful in work,
(Bossbabes, if you will) who "didn’t need a man” to take care of them.
Even though they considered themselves independent,
many of them tearfully shared with me
some of the struggles they were facing in their relationships.

What I discovered was a “eureka” moment for them.

It was almost as if they were all dating (or married to) the SAME DUDE.

Through our conversation, they were able to discover their blind spots that were pushing healthy
masculine leadership energy away,
and unknowingly attracting men (and behavior in their men)
who wouldn’t commit, wouldn’t plan, and wouldn’t lead
into devotion.

Quite the opposite.
Many of these men were actually more like children,
feeding off their energy, extracting from these women
much like having another child in the house.

Of course they were living in a constant state of resentment
about life in general, they all had a few things in common.

Take a wild guess what it could be.

You’ve heard the term “blind spots” in driving on the road.

We also have Blind Spots in our psyche.

They are parts of ourselves that we can’t see,
like trying to read the label of a jar from the inside.

Blind Spots are unconscious parts of ourselves
that cause us to unknowingly create our own suffering.

Parts of us that are too painful to admit are there, but they are.

And unless we have the courage to face them and get them exposed,

we are doomed to repeat the same cycle again and again, like groundhog Day.

You know exactly what I’m talking about:

Same arguments every time, like a broken record.

One woman was married and divorced 7 times and tried all the therapies without finding the root of it,
but through our interaction— was able to see what she hadn’t been able to in all the years:

Her part in the dynamic that was causing relationships to break down,
without fault or blame.

Another woman who was married and divorced 4 times,
now in a relationship with an avoidant who doesn’t make her a priority,
also couldn’t see her blind spot despite all the books and therapies:
She was so preoccupied with him and diagnosing him that she didn’t
acknowledge what she needed to change within HERSELF to inspire him to commit.

It pains me to hear their stories because most therapies they try are about validating their side of the story,
rather than committing to actual healing—

 which involves learning SKILLS instead of venting stories.

No one had the courage to tell these women the truth of their blind spots,

 because it would have bruised their ego.

One of the women was an actual counsellor and therapist and was stunned to hear my feedback
on her blind spots.  She received it gracefully and gratefully, admitting that she wouldn’t be
allowed to be so direct with her clients— that it would run the risk of her getting a complaint to the board.

The only problem with that is that having your blind spot revealed is CRITICAL

if you want to change your relationship pattern.

Tell me if you notice what I call the “Bossbabe Conundrum”:

If you want to drop being in charge of the relationship, it’s not just about HIM.
Something within YOU needs to change, and your ego won’t like it.

Otherwise, you can leave that partner but the next person you date—
same person, different haircut.

So in service to all boss babes who want out of the conundrum,
I invite you to watch or listen to this one hour podcast.

Listen now, or save it for later— I start first with the back story of
why a man like me would want to speak to Bossbabes who are brave enough
to taste the bitter medicine of the truth in order to attract men who are mature,
devotional, protectors, providers.

If you’re a person who gets offended with the notion that a man has
some potent information for powerful women who want to learn how to
reign it in so they don’t scare off quality men— then this podcast won’t be for you.

But if you want to see if you can identify with some blind spots so that you
can stop pushing high-value secure love away, then this podcast episode is for you.

After you listen, send it to someone who you know is struggling in their relationship,
and see if they relate too.

If you stay to the end, you’ll see some traits that some quality men (when asked) shared
about what they consider irresistible for being wife material.

If you’ve ever dreamed of being devotionally led by a healthy masculine partner,
you’ll want to grab a pen and start getting to work.

You deserve love that is secure.

Your wingman on the adventure,
Nima

-----------

Click here to listen to the full podcast episode...

“Dr. Nima, we walk on eggshells with each other.
I am so sensitive to the slightest upset that when he is in a bad mood,

I don’t know how to fix it.
I constantly feel like a failure in this relationship.

Can you help?”

I just received this email from a subscriber,

and it hit on one of the root causes of most toxic, insecure relationship patterns:

Self-invalidation.

If you grew up with well-meaning but trauma-uninformed parents,

you probably experienced a stark difference in how your emotions were met.

When you were happy or “positive,” you were met with openness,

but emotions like anger, sadness, guilt, or grief?

Not so much.

Think back:
Were you held, validated, and understood during your darker moments?
Did your parents guide you through these feelings and teach you how to co-regulate?

If you’re like most people in our cyclebreaker community,

even if you’ve done plenty of therapy and personal development,

there’s often one recurring theme:

You’ve been conditioned to push away negative emotions—

to “clear” or eliminate them, much like how your parents reacted to them.

This leads to rumination and self-doubt, an unconscious attempt to regulate the emotional alarm within you.

But labeling these emotions as “negative” causes you to defend against,

dismiss, or avoid the most tender parts of yourself.

And the more you avoid those parts,

the more your relationships begin to mirror that avoidance.

Partners stop making the effort to understand you.
You feel alone, even in long-term relationships.
Your feelings are constantly dismissed.
Partners get defensive when you try to share your experience.
You find your reality invalidated over and over again.
The truth is, the outside world reflects what’s happening inside.

Here’s the kicker: Until you change how you relate to your own emotions,

there’s no way a relationship can feel nourishing.

True intimacy remains out of reach.

Anxiety becomes the norm.

Repair doesn’t feel like it ever really happens.

But here’s the good news: None of this is your fault.

This emotional avoidance is cultural conditioning.

We’ve been taught to pathologize “negative” emotions,

leading us to abandon our natural responses to them.

This is how sadness, grief, and fear turn into anxiety and depression.

You’re not broken—you’ve just been conditioned to believe you are.

And that conditioning serves one purpose: to sell you pills.

But there’s a better way, and it will liberate you.

This is a clip from a recent Overview Experience, 

we dive into this blind spot (among others) at the heart of every relationship dysfunction. 

And after uncovering it, we practice the somatic and cognitive skills that break this cycle once and for all.

When you master this, you experience a profound freedom. 

Someone else’s disapproval no longer causes you to crumble. 

Instead of walking on eggshells, you learn to co-regulate with your partner.

The best part-- You pass this on to your kids.

You teach them how to navigate life’s inevitable truths:

They will learn how to grieve—but they’ll grieve well.
They’ll get angry—but they’ll move through it because you won’t make their anger wrong.
They’ll feel sadness and fear—but it won’t become anxiety or depression.
This is emotional literacy, a skill that can’t be taught in a therapist’s office, 

but rather through practice—expanding your capacity to sit with emotions in a safe container.

The result-- Inner peace, calm, and stillness. 

No more wasted energy on avoiding or negating your emotional experience.

This relationship with your own emotions is THE hidden relationship dynamic that, 

when mastered, makes intimacy accessible, makes you a secure partner, and turns you into a rockstar friend, parent, and leader.

And the chill vibes you create-- They spill over to everyone around you.

Because this self-invalidation is part of your conditioning…

To heal— the real question becomes all about your WILLINGNESS 

to get uncomfortable in order to get that sense of freedom. 

No more sensitivity or avoidance to run the show.
Imagine that.

Your wingman on the adventure,

Nima
(I stand for healed families)

P.S. If you’re reading this and your relationship anxiety has been less than magnetic—
if you’ve tried therapy or personal development but still feel stuck—I invite you to share your story with me. 
Let me know what you’ve tried so far and what blind spots you think might be holding you back. 
If you’ve been successful at work but challenged in the relationship department 
and you’re ready to see those blind spots and finally move forward, 
ask for my calendar link as I’m opening some spots this week for the true
seeker who’s genuine, curious, willing to hear the truth, and willing to take action.
I’d love to support you on this journey. Give me your back story and finish with
“Nima can I get some help with my blind spots? Send me your private calendar link”. 
If I think I can help after reading it— and there are spaces open, I’ll send it over.
Thank you for your feedback and questions that help inform how I can serve better.

"Come close to me." 

"Get away from me."

"I need you."

"I need you to leave me alone."

"I can’t live without you."

"I can’t live like this anymore".

These were soundbites from my last relationship.

I didn’t know the term “Trauma Bond” 
but after being successful in every area of life except the most important
(intimate relationship),
I decided to do the necessary work to get to the bottom of what got me there.

After that relationship ended,
I went on a quest to make sure I never repeated this same dynamic.

The walking on eggshells, 
scanning each other’s moods, 
withholding our feelings not to “trigger” the other,
people pleasing, avoiding, 
the constant anxiety of being around one another,
trying to make the other happy,
so we can try to take control of how the afternoon
(or entire weekend) is about to go.

I would deliberately take my time coming home from work
because after a challenging day, the last thing I needed
was more work.

Dealing with her big emotions was WORK—
a job I had no interest in after a long day.

If you are stuck in this push/pull dynamic, 
just know that you’re not alone.

You could likely be stuck in a Trauma Bond
like I was, without you even knowing about it.

Trauma Bonds are highly polarized dynamics, 
(beginning with love/sex-bombing,)
that are actually born out of a compulsion to repeat
what was incomplete in childhood.

They’re not your fault, but without becoming aware of those dynamics,
without taking responsibility to heal the root cause,
without developing the skills of conscious relating, 
self regulation, and becoming Trigger-Proof, 
relationships end up feel like a merry-go round 
where life feels like groundhog day.

Just spoke with a woman 
who’s done weekly counselling sessions with her husband,
but the sessions never once dove deep into 
actually healing the dynamics of the bond itself.

It was more of a venting session.

How frustrating: going every week, venting your side of the story,
having the other vent their side, both parties trying to get validation for who’s “right”. 

What she didn’t realize or learn: 

You can’t resolve the trauma bond trying to be “right” or “seen.”

It’s impossible at that level. 
No embodiment training.
No change in the capacity to be with difficult emotions. 

As you can see in this short clip from my discussion with Dr. Russ:

We MUST go deeper to discover where it all begins:

THE TRAUMA BOND BEGINS 
WITH TWO PEOPLE TRYING TO RESCUE ONE ANOTHER.

The damsel in distress.
The addict.
The wounded soul in need of a savior.

When I discovered this, I stopped trying to talk my way out, 
and went inwards and learned how to resolve with the parts of me
that needed to be the rescuer to feel like he was good enough.

What I discovered was a part of me that needed to be rescued by MYSELF.

Sit with that one for a moment.

If you’re stuck in the anxious avoidant dance, 
constantly attracting the same type of relationships with people 
where you end up abandoning yourself,
or in the same argument with a partner in a power struggle phase,

just know that 
1) You’re not alone
2) it’s not your fault.
3) YOU CAN HEAL THIS.

When you do, you break cycles for the next generation 
because your children get to experience parents with connection 
and abundant love.

I’m a living proof.

I went from a toxic abusive trauma bond, 
to a relationship where secure attachment thrives, 
and our beautiful boy turns 4 this weekend. 

If I can do it, 
so can you.

It’s all about your commitment level
and your WILLINGNESS to lean in and say
“It didn’t start with me, but it ends with me”.

You got this.

Your wingman on the adventure to secure love,
Nima
(I stand for healed families).
----------------------------------------------
P.S. The connection you’ve been craving isn’t far away—
it’s just on the other side of your willingness to heal and have your blind spots revealed.

If you’re ready to get off the merry-go-round 
and experience the love and family you truly deserve,
but you resonate with this video and wonder if there is something you’re overlooking,
I’m happy to open up some time for the *right person* 
to have me listen to what you are experiencing,
and give you some honest feedback.

This is for you if: You’ve done the work, 
you’re doing (or have already invested in therapy) 
you’re no stranger to self reflection, you’re successful at work,
but still feel like a victim in relationships being over run by the fear of abandonment,
or you get overwhelmed quickly and want to run.
And here’s the kicker: You’re TIRED OF FEELING THAT WAY.
(You’ll be surprised how many aren’t). 

If this sounds like you,  let’s talk. 
Comment  and give me the details of your back story and what you’ve tried,
what worked and what hasn’t. 
Include the words “Nima I’m ready to see my blind spots, can I get your 
calendar link?”
And if there is any space left this week, then I’ll send you a link.

It didn’t start with you… but it can absolutely end with you my friend.