Trigger Proof Transmissions

Sally’s words hit me like a ton of bricks: ‘I wasn’t expecting that. 

This is going to take me a while to process.

It’s no surprise—she had just completed her Overview Experience (OE) 

a few weeks ago, and let me tell you, this isn’t your average Zoom call.

OE isn’t just another Saturday evening where you’re partying or sedating from the week. 

It’s a 6-hour, heart-pounding, mind-shifting adventure where a community of warriors 

come to not only heal their attachment wounds but learn how to stop self-abandoning and fawning,

to find their authentic selves and finally build that self-worth we all crave— as a foundation 

to connected secure relationships. 

It's like a crash course in ‘why the heck am I still doing this?’ and ‘how do I stop?

One woman who joined recently was at her breaking point—

struggling with a rupture with her 26-year-old son. 

She showed up ready to STOP playing the victim, 

ready to unearth those blind spots that are running the show.

That takes courage, my friend.

And here’s the kicker—so many people out there are hiding behind their therapists, 

unknowingly stuck in the same codependent loops, looking for validation.

(Yeah, I said it.)

OE is for those who are ready to ditch the excuses and embrace the hard truth.

I don’t just teach this stuff—I live it. 

From my days of surviving toxic trauma bonds and legal battles 

to now living in the most secure, connected, 

and hot-for-one-another relationship (even after the kid arrived).

How: By becoming Trigger-Proof and mastering what I call “Integrated Polarity,”

which is polarized communication on the OTHER SIDE 

of healing that compulsion to repeat unresolved childhood dynamics. 

And the magic?

It’s not just about techniques—it’s in realizing you’ve been living with a mask for years. 

You’ve been ‘the good wife,’ ‘the perfect son,’ ‘the perfect girlfriend,’ “the helper,” 

“the black sheep,"and you’ve found a cozy home for it, right? 

But the more that mask becomes your identity, the further you drift from who you REALLY are.

It’s no wonder you’re feeling anxious and trying to cope.

Trying to be more “masculine” or “feminine” without the deeper work won’t cut it.

Very few want to understand the WHY and what they can do about it. 

I’ve been there—being a people pleaser to the point I created an entire “Dr. Nima” identity for validation. 

An identity who was a perfect match for my last relationship drama.

Underneath the mask,

there’s an authentic self inside of all of us, 

hidden behind a f*ck ton of shame.

Consider the possibility that the relationship anxiety you might be feeling 

is simply that part of you bursting to come out and say, 

‘I’m DONE with the BS. 

I WANT TO BE SEEN AND LOVED. 

I WANT TO TAKE UP SPACE.

I WANT TO GET MY NEEDS MET TOO.” 

You’ve read the books, you’ve done the therapy—but have you gone this deep before? 

(comment below and let me know). 

I doubt it.

The Overview Experience is designed for brave souls who can no longer tolerate the mask,

and who are brave enough to be gently guided— there with the right path, tools, and strategy.

The somatic and cognitive exercises we do have changed my life and countless others. 

And you don’t need a fancy office or perfect conditions to transform—

just the courage to show up and take off that damn mask.

This video is a recording from the OE back in 2021 during the lockdowns, 

while I had to create a makeshift office

from the 2nd bedroom. We had just gotten married and had our son Dominic.

Watching who I was at the time, and the challenges 

I was facing in trying to break free from a Trauma Bond

serves as a reminder to me that 

even though the conditions were less than favorable in my life at the time,

I STILL knew who the f*ck I was, and who I’m here to serve.

And so can you. 

Imagine being able to stop being SO AFFECTED by others. 

To trust yourself so deeply that you stop looking outside for validation. 

It’s possible—and it’s where your magnetism is hiding if you have the courage to look.

Without that ability to truly KNOW yourself 

and love what you see when you look in the mirror, 

you're always looking OUTSIDE for validation (and it will never be enough).

You’ll stay in relationships too long,

you’ll tolerate shitty behavior,

you’re run by the fear of abandonment,

you pick the wrong people who end up using you, because

you HAVE NO IDEA HOW TO EXPRESS YOUR BOUNDARIES,

because you’ve never taken the time to learn.

I discovered that learning this was the foundation to receiving everything I desired.

When I got it right, 

the world opened up to me to reflect the love and knowing I developed in myself.

And I gave up trying to prove it to those who couldn’t see it.

You deserve all of that, my friend..

Your wingman on the adventure,

Nima

____

P.S. I have an offer for a specific person who resonates with this message. 

(Forward this to someone you know who needs this)

If you’ve already invested in a lot of inner work and personal growth,

and are successful in work/leadership— and have developed some great insights,

but STILL feel stuck in what I just shared, 

I have some spaces open for a 30 minute intuitive blind spots session.

I’ve met some amazing people who have been following my work, 

and some have even figured out a massive piece of the puzzle after our conversation.

They took action where they were once stuck.

If you’re willing to implement and practice what you’re brave enough to discover,

and you’re ready to stop being held hostage by old patterns 

and finally break free from the mask that’s keeping you stuck, 

let’s talk. I’m offering a limited number of these sessions to help you uncover 

what’s really driving your anxious behaviors. 

If you’re serious about getting to the root of it and taking your power back, 

comment with your back story (I won’t respond if you don’t) 

and end it with: “Nima, I’m ready for the truth. Send me your private calendar link.”

If you’ve ever been stuck in the “loop of doom”
in a relationship dynamic, you’ll understand this exhausting dance:

After the honeymoon phase is finished, 
which lasts between up to 6 months to 18 months…
you graduate to the next phase of the relationship, 
which is called the “power struggle” phase.

Here’s what it looks like:

You’re effected by their mood.
You look to THEM to determine how you’re “supposed to” feel.
Their upset becomes YOUR upset.

As a result of this dance, when they are triggered, 
they turn to a coping strategy to deal with their pain…

They distract with work, video games, football, p*rnography…
anything to avoid feeling what’s happening between you…

then this results in YOU getting triggered in to not feeling important.

Your abandonment wounds get activated.

This is not your fault. 

It’s perfectly normal. 

But if you haven’t yet learned the skills 
(which involve the body, much like a dance move),
this activation causes you to regress 
calling your wounded younger parts to come out
and protest with controlling behaviors, 
blame, and a needy “push” like energy.

Unfortunately this causes what you want to go further away from you.

What you want is connection.
Understanding.
Repair. 

Without the skills of breaking through the power struggle phase,
you’ll find yourself alone (even if you’re in a relationship)
or avoiding the exhausting dance altogether,
because you’ve done the courses and talk therapies 
and nothing has been able to solve the riddle.

The good news is that it doesn’t have to be that way.

I discovered this same exhausting dance (only I was the avoidant),
and what I learned was that that lack of separation between me and the other
was called “enmeshment”— and that was not my fault (or yours)
but its actually a developmental trauma we were conditioned into 
by well-meaning parents who hadn’t healed THEIR enmeshment wounding 
in their family system. 

Symptoms include: 
Wanting to separate from the people you love the most.
Having other’s people’s emotional states and anxiety becoming YOUR anxiety,
and an inability to sit with someone who is having big emotions without 
a compulsion to fix or rescue or run.

I saw this pattern and was committed to making sure I didn’t pass this along to my son.

This enmeshment pattern is the root cause of Codependency.
And talking about it to a therapist simply doesn’t do squat except bring a label to it.

Learning masculine and feminine communication is powerful, but without THIS
foundational skill, it’s like learning how to drive with a lamborghini going full-blast.

Communication doesn’t land well without healing that developmental trauma FIRST.

My clients often would complain “my therapist helped me identify what was wrong, 
but then I wasn’t given tools in how to fix it.” 

If you are resonating with this, just know that you’re not alone.

I learned that by Becoming Trigger-Proof,
I could create a separation between me and another person,
and THEIR ANXIETY DIDN’T HAVE TO BECOME MY ANXIETY.

This is why I left my chiropractic practice: Because I made a huge discovery
people were not seeing.

If you’ve already done so much to heal, 
and yet you’re frustrated by your progress, 

consider the possibility that you aren’t broken…

and there are NO SHORTCUTS TO THIS:

It’s likely that you haven’t yet looked at the upstream root cause of it all:

Unresolved enmeshment wounding.

And the good news is that you CAN heal this if you’re willing to go deeper
than watching videos and venting.

When you do, your self worth emerges as does your confidence.

All the communication you’re learning and boundary setting practices 
feel more embodied, and your magnetism goes through the roof.
Men get rooted in their masculine leadership, 
and for women— their radiance emerges. 

People start asking you what you’ve been doing differently, 

and it’s only YOU that will know where the difference came from.

Imagine what it would be like to stop being SO AFFECTED by others.

This is the path to healing families…

your wingman on the adventure
to breaking free from enmeshment wounding,

Nima
------------
P.S. Does this email resonate with you?

If you find yourself in this power struggle phase,

I’m listening.

Hit reply and make sure you give me your back story,

sharing what you’ve tried in the past, what worked, and where 

you’re frustrated.

If you’re tired of being stuck in the same exhausting relationship cycles, 

and ready to break free from the enmeshment that’s been holding you back, 

let’s talk. 

I’m opening a few spots for a Trigger-Proof Blind Spot session 

to reveal the root cause of what’s really driving your anxious/avoidant dance.

If you’re serious about healing and ready to step into your power, 

hit reply with your story and end it with, 

"Nima, I’m ready to break the cycle and take back control. 

Please send me your private calendar link."

This isn’t for everyone—

but if you’re done with feeling stuck and ready for a true breakthrough, 

let’s make it happen.

This 30 minute call is no-charge, no obligation, 

but your back story will help me determine

if I can see any blind spots in your journey 

and will send you my calendar link if I feel I can help.

(Name changed to respect privacy and anonymity)

(4 minute read).

Amy was tired of feeling like a victim.

Divorced with children, 

running a business, 

she was still walking around with a great deal of resentment. 

She had done YEARS of therapy, 

plant medicines, breathwork, 

inner child work….

Even taking courses on learning how 

to communicate more in her feminine 

so she could one day have a different experience with men

than what she had been attracting: 

Narcissistic, abusive partners who didn’t step up 

and take care of her devotionally (just like her dad).

When she reached out to me, 

even though she had gotten comfortable with feminine communication,

she admitted she still has resentment towards her father, 

and here was the kicker: 

Her body would tense up whenever she would think of her ex and dad,

and SHE NO LONGER WANTED TO FEEL THAT WAY.

The only way to get past grievances, victimhood and blame, 

is to finally make the decision that we NO LONGER WANT TO BE 

LIVING UNDER THE EFFECTS OF UNHEALED RESENTMENTS:

This is what living with a victimhood identity from the past looked like for her: 

• Triggered all the time
• Reactive to any sort of feedback that would be “negative”
• Defensive, blocking vulnerability and openness 
  (which magnetizes healthy masculine behavior of provision and protection)
• Controlling others with prickly, porcupine energy that pushed men away.
• NO TRUST (in herself or men).

It’s exhausting living like you don’t trust life itself. 

When I asked her why she wanted to resolve this now she told me that 

this time it was different because she met a man

who had her feeling safe, and didn’t want to mess this up 

by letting the reactive pattern take over.

(that’s my first green flag when I meet someone—

someone who wants to take responsibility).

Even though she was no stranger to personal development,

there was one skill she had never learned: 

Becoming Trigger-Proof, 

and RELEASING THE RESENTMENT FROM THE BODY.

This means to not only work through the bitterness, the anger, 

and the grief of her younger parts that didn’t get their needs met, 

but also to take it one step further that no plant medicine, book, video,

or venting sessions with a therapist could provide: 

The skill of seeing her perpetrators as reflections of parts of HERSELF

she was abandoning. 

Parts she pressed down and locked up in her shadow.

She took the very thing that she was judging her father on— 

which was "not taking accountability, 

and avoiding his shame of his abusive behaviors" and asked

“Where did I do the same?”

It took her a couple of days to realize she did the same thing 

(in her own way) to her unborn child when she chose to terminate her pregnancy 

when she was a teenager.

She was carrying all that shame— but she had to block it in order to continue life.

While she felt it was the right call for her at the time, 

she realized she was still holding onto resentment towards HERSELF,

for not dealing with the grief and shame of her decision with no accountability--

and unconsciously projecting it onto her father.

She took a week to process this humbling realization,

and as she re-visited the fears of that dis-owned little teenager within her,

she saw her father in a new light.

Once she realized this, she had a new lens on “forgiveness”.

She realized that once she UNDERSTOOD him (by understanding HERSELF)

she no longer needed to “forgive” him. 

Would you rather be FORGIVEN?

Or would you rather be UNDERSTOOD?

Most of the time “forgiveness” is just spiritual bypassing bullshit.

When you have the courage to go deeper, 

to validate the parts of you that feel hurt and grief over the needs that weren’t met,

and then go that ONE STEP FURTHER to get to a place of UNDERSTANDING….

The resentment lifts,

and understanding breathes life to a new possibility.

If you can resonate with this, 

and you are holding onto a grievance towards someone who you feel

betrayed you, hurt you, rejected you, or abandoned you, 

and you’re TIRED OF FEELING THIS WAY, 

just know there’s freedom on the other side of going BEYOND forgiveness.

Forgiveness keeps you stuck in judgment, 

Understanding liberates and transcends. 

It takes some courage to look in the mirror,

and humility to have your blind spots revealed,

but when you do, you set the stage to become a safe container

where secure relationships can thrive, 

and you trust life, 

you trust men,

you trust women, 

you trust humanity, 

and most importantly, you TRUST YOURSELF.

Your wingman on the adventure,

Nima

_____________

P.S. If Amy's story resonated with you, 

you’ve done the personal growth work and therapies,

and you KNOW you’re still carrying betrayal, mistrust, and contempt,

and it’s weighing heavy on your system and impacting your current relationship game,

and you’re done with the spiritual bypassing of attempting to "forgive", let’s go deeper.

Are you ready to move past the resentment and uncover the parts of yourself that need understanding? 

If you’ve been carrying the weight of grievances, 

tired of feeling stuck, 

and want to experience true freedom and trust in YOURSELF, 

hit reply with your back story and tell me what happened, 

what you’ve invested in working through,

 and end with, 

"Nima, I’m ready to go beyond forgiveness and see my blind spots. 

Please send me your private calendar link.”
I’m enjoying speaking with those who follow my work.

Who are genuine in seeking answers instead of staying stuck in a story.

It’s a free zoom blind-spot session for those who feel it’s time 

to stop judging and blaming and start truly understanding.

Hey, it’s time for some real talk.

After countless calls with the people who have been consuming my content, 

reaching out for help in their current situation, I want to share with you what I wish I could say to them—

but usually don’t, because let’s face it, the truth can sting.

Here it is:  Consider the possibility that you DON’T want to heal.

Of course CONSCIOUSLY you want to. But unconscious parts of you don’t. 

This is why I left Chiropractic. I saw people who came in who said they wanted to heal,

but they had blind spots. They couldn’t see the parts of them that were resistant to healing.

Ask any body worker, therapist, or counsellor, and they will confirm this to be true.

I just spoke with a Therapist and Counsellor who has done YEARS of talk therapy, 

and is STILL stuck after 18 years in a “should I stay or go” situation. 

Exhausted. Ready for change. Stuck in indecision.

Then when it came time to make a change— 

can you guess what she was confronted by?

Yup. Fear and indecision.

You will say you’re ready for change. You will say you’re tired of the same old patterns. 

The anxious avoidant dance is exhausting and you have tried counselling realizing that 

the baby steps you’re making just aren’t adding up.

You’ve read the books and listened to the podcasts and watched the videos and 

COGNITIVELY UNDERSTAND where the block is.

But when it comes time to actually DO the work, to dig deep and face those uncomfortable truths, 

to FEEL AND WORK THROUGH THE FEELINGS you’ve been conveniently trying to avoid- 

the ones at the helm of your anxiety and depression…

To FINALLY do what it takes to resolve them……..

Aaaand that’s when the excuses start. 

The terror barrier hits.

And I get it. Change is terrifying. Stepping into the unknown feels like free-falling without a safety net. 

Your old patterns-- They’re comfy, familiar, and oh-so-seductive. 

I was terrified to leave my Trauma Bonded relationship. 

I was not only afraid of being alone without a woman to validate me, 

I was also afraid of the reputational impact of leaving her. 

I knew she would drag my name through the mud if I did leave…

So I COMPLETELY UNDERSTAND your fear and analysis paralysis.

But here’s the hard truth I had to face myself: 

Those same patterns that are keeping me stuck— are keeping me miserable in this only one life.

And what quality of life was I living— constantly wearing a mask and hiding myself in shame?

One woman tearfully told me that she wanted to end her life and couldn’t continue the way she was going.

But the second an opportunity came to break the Trauma Bond Cycle, 

I watched her regress into an addict fighting for the right to keep her addiction. 

“I just can’t do it.”  

Even though the last 30 days of her life were a living hell— her hell was FAMILIAR to her.

(Familiar = “Like Family”).

I’ve seen it all— the refund requests, the sudden ghosting, the “I’m just not ready” excuses,

right after saying they can’t continue the way they are going. 

And hey, no judgment. We all have our blind spots. 

But if you’re really serious about breaking free, about stepping into the life you say you want, you’ve got to MOVE THROUGH that fear.

What I wish I could say (but usually don’t) is this: 

Stop letting your effing fear drive the car. It’s time to take the wheel.

You’re resilient and you’ll figure out a way forward. 

Like Misty-Jo, who couldn’t keep going the way she was, and was becoming aware that her anxious patterns 

were actually PUSHING love away— and she leaned in, was willing to have her blind spots revealed, 

made the shifts, and is now in the most secure relationship of her life. 

Like Joe, who was terrifed he was going to lose his marriage as his wife asked for a separation,

asking me to help him save his marriage during a call to reveal his blind spots— to which I replied 

“That’s not what we are doing here…Your anxious attachment is destroying the polarity in your relationship….

you’re going to have to get to a place where you BECOME THE PERSON WHO’S WILLING TO WALK AWAY.” 

And first he was resistant— but he leaned in— 

and finally went beyond talk therapy and learned how to de-condition his anxious pattern to the point where 

he was WILLING to walk away— and during the conversation about the details of their divorce, 

in THAT moment his wife shifted and said she didn’t want to divorce him.

3 kids, they’re still together, with new skills to self regulate and co-regulate through their challenges 

after a frustrating 8 years of talk therapy.

Imagine how much courage that took to get there.

(The courage to trust a retired chiropractor— no less).

And that’s the point: The results you’re not getting in talk therapy don’t take more time…

they take COURAGE.

What I want to say to people (but don’t because the truth hurts too much) is to 

STOP PRETENDING YOU HAVE INFINITE TIME. 

Lean into the resistance and make it your friend as you climb the mountain to secure love.

Enjoy your books and podcasts and videos— but for the love of God,

find a guide and community that focusses on TRAINING AND PRACTICING 

instead of TALKING in circles about feelings.

Your younger parts will thank you for overcoming your people pleasing patterns and finally making YOURSELF a priority.

Your children will thank you because your home will turn into a sanctuary.

Most inspiring of all, you’ll feel the pride of accomplishing something so daring: 

Breaking cycles that you inherited from parents that didn’t do the deep work.

And because of that, 

Your self worth will upgrade to the point where you can finally look in the mirror and say  "I love you."

The greatest gift of all.

Your wingman on the adventure,

Nima

P.S. 

If you’re ready to uncover what’s really holding you back—no sugar-coating, no fluff—let’s talk. 

But only if you’re truly ready to face what’s been keeping you in the same old cycle. 

I’m opening my schedule for the right person who resonates with this message, 

and is genuinely curious about seeing their blind spots and is open to their blind

spots being revealed (lovingly)

Over the past few weeks, I spoke to more than 30 women who identified as successful in work,
(Bossbabes, if you will) who "didn’t need a man” to take care of them.
Even though they considered themselves independent,
many of them tearfully shared with me
some of the struggles they were facing in their relationships.

What I discovered was a “eureka” moment for them.

It was almost as if they were all dating (or married to) the SAME DUDE.

Through our conversation, they were able to discover their blind spots that were pushing healthy
masculine leadership energy away,
and unknowingly attracting men (and behavior in their men)
who wouldn’t commit, wouldn’t plan, and wouldn’t lead
into devotion.

Quite the opposite.
Many of these men were actually more like children,
feeding off their energy, extracting from these women
much like having another child in the house.

Of course they were living in a constant state of resentment
about life in general, they all had a few things in common.

Take a wild guess what it could be.

You’ve heard the term “blind spots” in driving on the road.

We also have Blind Spots in our psyche.

They are parts of ourselves that we can’t see,
like trying to read the label of a jar from the inside.

Blind Spots are unconscious parts of ourselves
that cause us to unknowingly create our own suffering.

Parts of us that are too painful to admit are there, but they are.

And unless we have the courage to face them and get them exposed,

we are doomed to repeat the same cycle again and again, like groundhog Day.

You know exactly what I’m talking about:

Same arguments every time, like a broken record.

One woman was married and divorced 7 times and tried all the therapies without finding the root of it,
but through our interaction— was able to see what she hadn’t been able to in all the years:

Her part in the dynamic that was causing relationships to break down,
without fault or blame.

Another woman who was married and divorced 4 times,
now in a relationship with an avoidant who doesn’t make her a priority,
also couldn’t see her blind spot despite all the books and therapies:
She was so preoccupied with him and diagnosing him that she didn’t
acknowledge what she needed to change within HERSELF to inspire him to commit.

It pains me to hear their stories because most therapies they try are about validating their side of the story,
rather than committing to actual healing—

 which involves learning SKILLS instead of venting stories.

No one had the courage to tell these women the truth of their blind spots,

 because it would have bruised their ego.

One of the women was an actual counsellor and therapist and was stunned to hear my feedback
on her blind spots.  She received it gracefully and gratefully, admitting that she wouldn’t be
allowed to be so direct with her clients— that it would run the risk of her getting a complaint to the board.

The only problem with that is that having your blind spot revealed is CRITICAL

if you want to change your relationship pattern.

Tell me if you notice what I call the “Bossbabe Conundrum”:

If you want to drop being in charge of the relationship, it’s not just about HIM.
Something within YOU needs to change, and your ego won’t like it.

Otherwise, you can leave that partner but the next person you date—
same person, different haircut.

So in service to all boss babes who want out of the conundrum,
I invite you to watch or listen to this one hour podcast.

Listen now, or save it for later— I start first with the back story of
why a man like me would want to speak to Bossbabes who are brave enough
to taste the bitter medicine of the truth in order to attract men who are mature,
devotional, protectors, providers. 

If you’re a person who gets offended with the notion that a man has
some potent information for powerful women who want to learn how to
reign it in so they don’t scare off quality men— then this podcast won’t be for you.

But if you want to see if you can identify with some blind spots so that you
can stop pushing high-value secure love away, then this podcast episode is for you.

After you listen, send it to someone who you know is struggling in their relationship,
and see if they relate too.

If you stay to the end, you’ll see some traits that some quality men (when asked) shared
about what they consider irresistible for being wife material.

If you’ve ever dreamed of being devotionally led by a healthy masculine partner,
you’ll want to grab a pen and start getting to work.

You deserve love that is secure.

Your wingman on the adventure,
Nima

OFFER FOR YOU IF YOU WANT HONEST INTUITIVE FEEDBACK
ON YOUR BLIND SPOTS (delivered with love— your Persian Big Brother-style)

P.S. If you identify as a boss babe (or a man who’s successful at work)
but feel the opposite in love,
and you are not willing to tolerate continuing the rest of 2024 and beyond like this,
being run by the anxious/avoidant dance,
and you’re wondering if you have these same blind spots mentioned,
and you are WILLING to hear some feedback that might sting a little,
but will be delivered in a way where you can implement immediately
and people will start to feel a shift in you (but not know what it is about you— but you will)
comment below and give me your back story on how you’ve been able to produce results in your life,
but can’t figure the relationship part out. Tell me what it’s been like for you,
and ask me “NIMA CAN YOU PLEASE SEND YOUR PRIVATE CALENDAR LINK”
and if I can see some blind spots in your story that could be worked on,
I’ll send you my calendar link.  This is absolutely free— it’s a trade of value
for me as I’m going to be creating an offer to help women feel safer in their feminine,
so you’ll also be helping me with the content with your stories and challenges.

Chapters

00:00 Introduction and Background
06:19 Understanding the Concept of 'Wife Material'
10:09 The Five Blind Spots Hindering Becoming Wife Material
13:28 Blind Spot 1: Unresolved Anxious Attachment
16:09 Blind Spot 2: Attracting Toxic Partners
18:16 Blind Spot 3: Inability to Assert Healthy Boundaries
23:00 Blind Spot 4: Inability to Let Go of Control
24:05 Blind Spot 5: Inability to Receive
30:12 The Challenge of Receiving Help and Support
30:39 Entitlement and the Need for Personal Growth
32:24 Conclusion

Summary

In this podcast episode, Dr. Nima Ramani discusses five blind spots that prevent successful women from finding healthy and fulfilling relationships. These blind spots include unresolved anxious attachment, inability to assert boundaries, difficulty in letting go of control, inability to be vulnerable, and an entitlement mindset. Dr. Nima emphasizes the importance of healing past wounds, developing self-worth, and taking responsibility for one's own growth in order to become wife material. He also highlights the need for softening, surrendering, and embracing interdependence in relationships.

It’s the topic of so many comedy routines:

“Not tonight— I have a headache.”

Even though people joke about it, the impact of
two lovers not sharing the same enthusiasm about sex
is very real— to big blow outs in the middle of the night,
to sexual shutdown or sexless marriages.

On this short 20 minute video, a student of mine,
Carissa Kelly and I do a fascinating (and very triggering)role play,
demonstrating how Masculine and Feminine Communication
can be used to bridge the gap between two lovers
who aren’t on the same page sexually,
the first “scene” is us not paying attention to Polarized communication,
and the second “scene” WITH using the nuance of Polarity.

See if you can notice yourself ever having been in this situation,
and if you can see the difference between the two examples.

On the upcoming Workshop on Friday,
we will be running through a few other role-playing examples,
so that you can shift the energy in your relationships
from “REPULSION” to “ATTRACTION” in minutes.

You’ll notice how Polarity isn’t about suppressing women.

It’s quite the opposite.

Check it out for yourself.

Your wingman on the adventure,
Nima
___________________
P.S.  Only a few more days left:
If you’re ready to learn how to bring the conversation of
Somatic Embodiment, Intergenerational Trauma and Polarity
together into one training that will teach you the fundamentals
so that you can immediately shift your communication, energy
and magnetism in your dating and relationships, I have a
never-done-before training I’m offering to my Cyclebreakers
Academy, and I’m opening spots for those who care enough
to show up LIVE on July 12th from 4-7pm PST (7-10pm EST).
That’s 9am-noon on Saturday July 13th Sydney time.

You’ll be taken through somatic embodiment practices
that help you FEEL the difference between the two polarities,
and be given role-playing demonstrations of the 2 most
common complaints and arguments in the Anxious (Preoccupied)
and Avoidant (Dismissive) negative cycle, and you’ll learn
EXACTLY how to break that cycle using Integrated polarity
so that you can repair from ruptures with greater ease and flow,
and bring magnetism instead of repulsion.

This event is NOT for everyone.
It’s for people who GENUINELY give themselves permission
to have their instinctual needs met:
Men: To be respected, admired, and lead with love and devotion
Women: To be contained with care and devotion,
and want to FOCUS ON THEIR OWN SIDE OF THE STREET
in order to help get their needs met.

No replays.

Learn how to Break the exhausting Infinite Loop of Conflict
and create harmony HERE.

There’s no shortage of complaints about how men show up in relationships.

We fear what we don’t understand.

Most men don’t understand women.
(And most women don’t understand men.)

From a very young age, we ALSO get so many mixed messages.

• Be a man, don’t show emotions
• It’s not ok to feel angry
• Your anger is unwarranted (which will turn to rage)
• Suck it up and "Be a Man”
• Happy wife, happy life
• Say “Yes dear"
• Aggression is Toxic Masculinity…

As a result, we end up not understanding OURSELVES.

I remember thinking that my main job in terms of being a husband
was to become as successful as possible,
to be the “provider” financially,
and that should guarantee me a good marriage with a wife who was
respectful, open, and grateful towards me.

I had no idea that one of the things a healthy woman needs is
to get her emotional needs met.

What I call “emotional provision”.
I had no clue what that was.

So to no surprise, when my first marriage hit rocky roads,
I HAD ZERO CLUE ABOUT WHAT TO DO WITH EMOTIONS.

Mine or hers.

My emotions at the time swung back and forth between anger, and anxiety.

I didn’t know what to do with all the shame, guilt, loneliness, and fear.

So I did what most men do:
I buried it — not realizing it was running the show in the background.

One of the gifts of a massive relationship breakdown
is looking at the pieces of my emotional game and
realizing what was at cause of the breakdown:

My lack of containment and protection boundaries with my emotions.

As it turns out, I’m not alone.
Most people I work with who are stuck in a “should I stay or go”
situation, even healing through a breakup realize they’re in the same boat
as I was.

Without the proper skills of elegant boundaries,
we become walled off (avoidant) from others,
or we simply can not separate ourselves from others emotions,
and our anxious attachments end up creating relational chaos.

It’s either lose myself in a partner, or push them away.

There was no in between for me.

We drop the ball when we don’t learn how to become Trigger-Proof,
and learn how to navigate conflict and turn it into deeper intimacy.

It’s a skill no one taught me, that ended up costing me
hundreds of thousands (if not more).

The common thing I see with men was what I was challenged with:
Men don’t learn how to work with the energy of emotions,
the triggers as they arise in others (and ourselves)
we then end up feeling victimized by by our woman’s emotions.

Then we can’t lead, and we become EMASCULATED.

We lose our boundaries (Enmeshment).
We can’t separate ourselves from others.
Like a jellyfish drifting in the ocean.

We become “Nice guys” who then get pushed and pushed—
then we snap and lose our sh*t.

Then we validate the narrative that “men are not safe”
and become victims of our own reactivity, hurting ourselves and others.

If you notice, this isn’t just a men’s issue.
It’s a human issue.

Our children are impacted by this.

There’s nothing like the threat of relationship loss to help wake us up
to learning skills that we were never taught.

When Ben first reached out to me,
he was caught in that dance — and completely lost the magnetism in his relationship.
They became room mates.

Cue the inevitable break-up.

Which ended up being the wake up call that led him
to recognize the importance of learning how to become Trigger-Proof,
and as you’ll see in this 10 minute interview— he realized
that not learning the high-level attachment skills was even more serious:

It was impacting his SELF WORTH.

That’s what’s on the other side of doing the work: Self Worth.

Where men and women drop the ball,

the upstream root cause can essentially be traced back to…
a lack of Self Worth.

And the good news is,
this is a skill that can be learned like reading or swimming.

Our relationships, career, sense of what we feel we deserve in receiving,
and our entire life experience depends on it.

Imagine if you learned how.

New lens: You didn’t drop the ball.
You just didn’t have Self-Worth at the time.

Given your conditioning, I’m sure you can see how that makes sense.

Now imagine what happens on the other side of learning how.
What could be possible?

Your wingman on the adventure,
Nima
___________________________
P.S. Announcement: On Saturday June 29th from 12-6pm PST (3-9PM EST)
(that’s 5am-11am Sunday the 30th in Sydney)
I’m taking 10 couples through an advanced training on Self Worth,
Nervous System Regulation skills,
Shadow integration and Somatic Training on Becoming Trigger-Proof.
This is ideal for men and women in a “should I stay or go” relationship dynamic
where you want to create a safe container for children to thrive and become resilient.
The mechanisms of Rupture/Repair will be discussed and practiced over these 6 hours
so that arguments can go from days and weeks where it’s killing your vibe —
to minutes and hours— and these skills are easily taught to children.
At $397 USD per enrolment— your partner/friend is able to join for FREE.
This is for those who want to make 2024 the year they become Trigger-Proof.

BECOME TRIGGER-PROOF HERE

did you ever wonder why the push-pull dynamic keeps coming up

in insecure relationship dynamics?

It all makes perfect sense when you study the mechanism.

Insecure (and exhausting) push-pull dynamics happen because 

we haven’t yet learned how to navigate the two primary attachment fears gone awry:

1) The Fear of Abandonment— being left behind, drifting in a sea of loneliness and despair.

2) The Fear of Engulfment — being consumed, eaten alive, and losing oneself.

That’s it. The unconsciously polarizing dance of these two extremes, 

and not knowing what do about them are what’s underneath your relationship woes.

If we haven’t yet become Trigger-Proof and learned how to work with the unconscious material

(Conflicts) that will arise between two souls with a wounded past, 

then you’ll notice things start going south real fast:

- You won’t speak up and share what’s arising for you in an elegant way— 

hiding your discomfort because you think it might upset them.

Or

- You DO speak up— but with force/aggression, 

or in some way that causes others to be repelled and pushes them away.

Either way, we feel like the victim (and so do they).

The worst part of all is the fact that reading all the attachment books,

watching all the youtube videos, and talking to your therapist helps with understanding 

WHY this chaos is happening and relationships don’t feel safe, 

but as you know— these modalities alone don’t create a NEW pathway for us, 

where we CAN ACTUALLY EXPERIENCE RELATIONSHIPS AS NOURISHING.

Imagine a possibility where you CAN experience relationships as solid, 

steady, uplifting and fulfilling resources filled with 

playfulness and joy. 

I didn’t have that modelled to me so I didn’t know it was even possible.

Turns out, it IS.

I— an avoidant, player who couldn’t commit is living it.

And if I can do it— you can too.

To get there, you have to be willing to commit 

to becoming the kind of person who can have their partner say:

“My partner is my peace”.

Try that on right now. 

Can you say that about your partner? 

Can your partner say that about you?

Do you even have the WILLINGNESS to learn how?

The good news is this IS entirely possible.

But to do so, you will need to get out of fantasy-land in thinking we can learn a skill by observation alone.

You can’t learn to ride a bike or play the piano from just reading a book.

At some point, you have to DO THE THING.

BUT WHAT THING?

In this case, the “thing" would be to master the rupture/repair process

that stops the negative cycle of the push/pull anxious/avoidant dance 

so that when you’re triggered by one another, 

you can move towards CONNECTION instead of DISCONNECTION.

This requires a conscious understanding of attachment and conscious polarity.

The impact of these skills can not be understated.

Your Health shifts (our students with auto-immune issues end up resolving them)

Anxiety lifts (you feel safe in your body)

SELF-TRUST and confidence emerge (because you’re no longer running away from your shadow). 

And your children watching you get the benefit as well.

(Think of how much your kids are impacted by the energy in the family container).

WHAT YOU’RE UP AGAINST

The biggest obstacle I see in most humans is our RESISTANCE to doing the real work.

It feels safer talking to a therapist pretending that you’re building resilience.

That takes more effort. 

When you’re willing to move through the fear and resistance, 

and start getting your body involved,

you’ll notice a few wins right off the bat:

1) Decrease in feelings of shame and guilt (because you see you’re not alone)

2) Increase in your experience of self worth 

(because you set a boundary and made yourself a priority)

Those two foundational shifts unlock pretty much everything else 

you’ve ever wanted in your relational game as your MAGNETISM

upgrades and the RIGHT people start to find you.

Clients — you start attracting higher vibing clients (I’m loving my new peeps).

Dates (if you’re single— start showing up as more conscious and aware.

And if you’re partnered— your partner is either inspired to step up to meet you,

or if they don’t— you have the courage to walk away with an open heart,

answering the “should I stay or go” question once and for all.

Either way you win.

The push-pull dynamic is a symptom of an underlying problem.

And once you make the shifts— Your relational experience upgrades.

Period.

End of discussion.

You get to make that call.

Imagine that.

Your wingman on the adventure, 

Nima
_________________________________________
P.S. 

Ready to move beyond just reading books and watching YouTube videos? 

It's time to EXPERIENCE the transformation of expanding your capacity, 

rewiring insecure patterns, stopping fawning, and showing up magnetic.

Join us for The Overview Experience—

a powerful 6-hour training that feels like 6 years of therapy 

condensed into one transformative session. 

You won’t leave the same person who came in.

You'll gain new skills, learn to distinguish between your shadows 

and blind spots, and break the infinite loop of conflict in the anxious/avoidant trap. 

Secure attachments aren't found; they are built through the conflict/repair cycle. 

At The Overview Experience, you'll learn to take command of your relationship anxiety 

and expose your blind spots in a fun, supportive environment with committed Cyclebreakers.

Event Details:

Date:

• Saturday, June 29th, 12-6pm PST (3-9pm EST)
• Sunday, June 30th, 5am-11am Sydney time
What You’ll Learn:

• Master the Rupture/Repair Process
• Gain Clarity and Confidence in the “should I stay or go” question
• Communicate in a magnetic frequency to inspire the healthy masculine/feminine
• Understand the distinction between Conscious and Unconscious Polarity
• Develop the critical skills to break free from Codependency and Trauma Bonding
Special Offer:

I’m opening the doors for 20 individuals ready to upgrade their relational and magnetic game. 

The first 10 registrants will receive a 1-1 integration call with me, valued at $997, for free. 

This session will help you implement what you’ve learned and identify any miss...

Unless you had unicorn parents, 

chances are that you follow a combination of two primary insecure attachment styles:

Anxious (Ambivalent)— Think of a wave who constantly needs connection.

Avoidant (Dismissive)— Think of an “island” who needs space.

or a combination of the two (Disorganized AKA “Dismissive avoidant”)

The problem with these tests and quizzes is that once people find out their attachment style, 

(which really is about how we react to anxiety in relationships)

they begin to think that their attachment style is set in stone.

It’s like a pathological diagnosis that they’re “born with” that “they can’t do anything about”. 

I call bullsh#t.

The problem with this belief is that 

these people begin to live as though they need to find the perfect person “out there,”

this “magical other”who can tolerate their anxious behaviours and the way they cope, 

and in far too many cases, 

these folks feel entitled to finding someone 

who will solve their attachment wounding FOR them.

Unfortunately living under this fantasy ends up with us in the same familiar dance,

toxically repeating patterns,

going through the anxious/avoidant cycle…

when reality hits and we get our abandonment/avoidant wounds activated.

This sends the fairy-tale high into a frenzy

fuelled by the magnetism / repulsion of push/pull dynamics of love bombing (pedestalization),

then the push away (devaluing) and the ghosting (discarding)...

Over time relationships are experienced as endlessly on a merry go-round, 

the effects of the unconscious polarity turns at the drop of a dime...

After conflict, without the right skills, 

the rug has been pulled out from under them and the high turns to suffering

once the honeymoon phase is over and the reality sets in.

These patterns run deep, and talking about them in therapy, 

listening to podcasts, and watching youtube videos DOESN’T ACTUALLY HEAL YOU.

Why?

Because our attachment distress responses of fight/flight/freeze/fawn are in our BIOLOGY.

They live in the body, and get revealed only when we are triggered,

and all the reading in the world won’t address it, 

the same way that you can’t learn to dance or swim by reading a book.

Like doing a fire drill to “rehearse” what the students in the classroom will do in a REAL fire,

To heal from these insecure attachment styles, 

these distress responses must be consciously and safely ACTIVATED (Triggered)

while you “rehearse” a different response.

And here’s where it shifts:

The Anxious Attached would lean into SELF regulation instead of aggressively seeking connection.

The Avoidant, normally an island-- would practice leaning into CO-REGULATION and 

mastering the art of elegant boundaries with their time and space.

Both extremes in the polarizing game of masculine/feminine relationship dynamics, 

each one either can fan the flames of Toxic Trauma Bonding Push Pull dynamics,

or — like in the relationship I’ve been able to co-create with my wife, 

we can use the relationship as a healing container where we alchemize the wounding

into a sacred union where children feel seen, loved, safe— 

because the home has become a sanctuary.

The good news is: 

You CAN heal.

You CAN learn how to elegantly repair— and connect deeper as a result.

Your attachment style is NOT a pathology.

It either ends up as a curse that will unconsciously keep you pushing love away, 

or it can be your greatest magnetic trait for the right person.

It’s our call.

When you become Trigger-Proof, 

your relationship anxiety becomes an actual bridge to DEEPER intimacy, 

healing, and juicy magnetic polarity that comes from a conscious choosing,

and deepening over time— instead of that intense “moth to a flame” that’s based on addiction,

that fizzles out over time.

(Tell me you’ve been there too).

In the Attachment game, it’s important to remember 3 things: 

1) You DESERVE to co-create love that feels secure and stable.  

You don’t have to be a doormat, 

create drama or ghost people, or feel victimized by everyone you meet. 

You don’t have to avoid love and live with 6 cats 

because  “relationships are too difficult” and its better being alone.

With the right skills, that doesn’t have to be true.

There IS another way.

2) You CAN heal if you’re wiling to master some high level attachment skills,

the kind you didn’t learn in school and can’t be taught by telling your story.

It won’t kill us to look in the mirror sometimes. 

You CAN transcend the shame of it.

3) The skills you develop and practice not only grow your self worth, abundance, 

business, health, energy AND self trust… 

They can literally be taught to your children. These skills are transferrable to THEM.

They are watching us in every moment and learning by what they observe.

It’s freaking scary to see this with my son. 

He’s watching how I treat his mother. 

He’s learning, because I’m breaking the cycle for him.

You were born with the potential and destiny to be secure in your relationships, 

owning your self worth, and not having to people please and wear a mask.

If you’re like most people, you’ve been conditioned to be insecure.

Unless you’ve alchemized your wounding, you will notice that 

that insecurity has likely informed too many of your choices in who you sleep with

and even marry. 

This puts us in direct line of fire for an epic wake up call.

I had to wait for a massive awakening to take ownership for the fact that

who I let into my life was a direct result of the love I didn’t feel for myself.

Learning how to relate securely and share my boundaries with love 

was a skill I never learned. 

And I was fortunate enough to discover 

that I wasn’t going to see any change in my outer world

until I was willing to become Trigger-Proof, 

master the communication style

of conscious polarity, and create safety within my own body. 

When I did, magnetism exploded, 

and the right students, clients, friends, and people entered my life, 

who demonstrated to me the love that I had gained for myself.

I met my person by BECOMING my own person.

I want the exact same for you.

Your wingman on the adventure to secure love that is polarized

It isn't normal to know what we want. 

It is a rare and difficult psychological achievement.”

― Abraham Maslow

I remember it feeling like a panic in my system.

I was in a crossroads of my life, wondering what’s next,

and when someone asked me what I wanted, 

my response was “I have no clue what I want.”

(The truth is, I did know-- I was just disconnected)

Having made it through the other side with rock solid certainty

of who I am, what my purpose is, what I’m creating, 

giving myself FULL PERMISSION to desire what I want,

I can empathize with people who are stuck in “Should I stay or go”

dynamics, not sure if they need to leave a shitty situation,

or frozen in fear of making a decision they will regret.

In moments where there has been repeated relationship ruptures,

we disconnect with ourselves, our hearts, our knowing, our intuition.

If you can relate, just know that it’s not your fault.

It’s in your CONDITIONING to not be present to your desires.

When we are stuck in the conditioning, 

triggered into unconsciousness and reactivity, 

When SURVIVAL becomes our PURPOSE,

we disconnect from the truth of our needs and boundaries.

In that space, Love becomes a challenge (because we turn into fawners)

In that space, Sexuality becomes scary (because sex becomes a performance)

In that space, Money becomes scarce (because we inherently live in an “undeserving” space).

This is why life and relationships become unsatisfying.

That’s why I’m dedicated to the reconnection and rewiring process 

so that you find access to your SELF WORTH.

Which causes you to find access to your BOUNDARIES,

which then leads to having you find access to your NEEDS, 

which then gives you access to a sense of DESERVING to get those needs met.

From that integrated place you can share in a secure way with others

with communication that magnetizes you getting your Love, Sex, and Money game—

exactly how you want it.

It’s all possible if you’re willing to Rewire your conditioning.

If I can go from being stuck and not knowing if I should stay or go, 

to being in a secure relationship, with a family, 

doing what I love, where I love, with whom I love, 

breaking cycles by teaching my son that he doesn’t ever have to perform for love...

Imagine what YOU could do.

Your wingman on your adventure towards co-regulation and your magnetism,

Nima
____________________________________________
P.S. Ready to learn how to liberate yourself from your conditioning in Love/Sex/and Money?

Ready to learn how to “give less f*cks” about what people think of you?

Ready to learn how to get connected to your needs, desires, and feelings, 

and KNOW that you’re Deserving of breaking those insecure patterns?

I’m taking 5 couples through the process at 

Rewire: Love/Sex/Money on May 17-19th

over 3 days. 

3 days of deep transformation over the topics that most people argue about

in long term relationships. 

Day 1: Healing from Trauma Bonded Push-pull Dynamics so you can 

break the anxious/avoidant cycle

Day 2: Healing from Sexual Shame and blockages so you can change your

relationship to pleasure and intimacy

Day 3: Healing from Money trauma and conditioning that has you living like

it’s shameful or “bad” to earn a good living.

We have space for 4 more couples, and for those who register this week,

the ticket for your partner is FREE.

(promo code: Rewire100 gives you a further 100 dollar discount within the next 24 hours)

[Rewire Love/Sex/Money conditioning here]