Trigger Proof Transmissions

A participant of my recent 3 hour training on Fawning
had a few questions that arose.
She’s in a “should I stay or go” situation
and has been consuming my content
and has now begun her pathway to creating a secure relationship.

Here are some more questions:

What happens when you try to finally set boundaries,
and then get blamed, criticized, and rejected back for it?

How do you know if you’re reading your body correctly,
somatically, and it’s not just an emotion/feeling?

How many people are actually in secure relationships,
or are secure people?

Why does it feel like I had a secure relationship with my dad but when he passed away,
I became more insecure and avoidant.

This woman is also persian so there were some great
cultural insights I wanted to share for anyone feeling frustrated
and anxious in relationships, and how culture and family systems shape relationships.

If you’re ready to end the Trauma Bond merry go round
so you can attract a pattern that is fulfilling, juicy, and magnetic,

Watch this training and let me know what arises for you.

Your wingman on the adventure,
Nima

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

P.S. Ready to untangle your trauma bonds and learn high level attachment skills for secure love?

You’re welcome to join my community of Cyclebreakers like yourself
at a workshop this week called
“Breaking Free From Trauma Bonds and Codependency”
where I’ll be mapping out the exact path on how I got there….

For $30 you’re welcome to join the 3 hour zoom call,
where I’ll be teaching some somatic tools and exercises
to dissolve the confusion of emotions, get more complete with your past,
and chart a new course for the most important aspect of our lives:
Relationships.

Feel into the possibility of participating in a 3 hour deep dive where you’ll likely get activated and you’ll be guided into how to resolve it.

You’ll also learn how to recognize trauma bonds before they begin, and learn the high level skills necessary to learn how to attach securely, and heal family systems for the next generation.

See you on Friday the 16th from 4-7pm PST (7-10 EST)
Register Here:
https://go.drnima.com/60wcj

A ruptured attachment can be lethal.

In the last 3 years, I’ve had several participants send me DM’s 

after they attended one of my events to tell me

“Thank you. I wanted to end my life before this….

this was my last hope. I had already made the plans.

I can now let my family know that things are going to be ok.”

I get emotional just thinking about it.

Last year a good friend of my wife’s growing up 

after going through a divorce process

began dating someone who was clearly a Trauma Bond,

after a rupture in their attachment,

actually ended his life.

Why does this happen?

Why do we equate a breakup with wanting to end our lives?

To answer that question 

we must first go back to where we got our blueprint

for how we do relationships. 

Most of us had shitty role models for relating.

We didn’t have safety in being able to have ourselves,

while at the same time being able to be with others. 

As children, we were often conditioned to deny, suppress, hide, 

or invalidate our needs, desires, preferences, and boundaries,

all for the sake of attachment. 

“It’s either your needs or mine. I can’t have you AND me at the same time.” 

So we lose ourselves for the sake of attachment. 

We abandon our values for what we perceive is “love,”

because that feels FAMILIAR.

(Familiar = “Like family”)

And when we abandon ourselves, 

in that moment

we demonstrate to others how to treat us, 

and inevitably when that person ends up choosing THEIR priorities,

and moving forward without us, 

We are left with the chilling realization that our fantasy has been broken, 

leaving an empty hollow core behind.

That’s how Stacie felt when she began the deep work with us. 

She, like may others, had started with talk therapy and was ready to do something different. 

There was something in my video content that grabbed her. 

She felt she needed a more direct approach rather than beating around the bush. 

She was ready to become Trigger-Proof. 

Within weeks, the dark cloud lifted 

as she alchemized years of conditioning from her Nervous System. 

After a few months of mastering how to respond when her triggers were activated,

she felt like she became more of a whole individual. 

She softened to herself. 

And within no time at all, 

a new man came into her life that felt completely different. 

At first she felt like she wasn’t interested in him.  

Turns out she had “longing” and being “pedestalized" so hard-wired in her system

that she didn’t know how to interpret what a secure relationship would feel like.

She was so used to being anxious in her previous relationships, 

she judged that a secure relationship meant that something was “off”. 

Turns out it wasn’t off.  She really wanted to share her 15 minute story with you 
https://youtu.be/dsPTz532IPk

From wanting to end it all 

to finding secure relationship within a matter of WEEKS,

simply by healing at a Nervous System level,

and mastering the frameworks of becoming Trigger-Proof. 

When you see her share, 

realize you have it within you too.

Trauma Bonds are real.

The push/pull dynamic of the anxious/avoidant cycle is exhausting.

It impacts your quality of life. 

Super high sexual charge, 

crazy fun on the ups, 

but when the lows come, 

things really can go south fast with our mental well being.

Some even get sick— mentally or physically. 

And when there are kids involved, 

they get caught in the crossfire 

and can become collateral damage— 

ready to become the next generation in the family line

to become codependent as you observed your parents to be.

I know if any of that sounds like you, 

It’s not your fault. 

You haven’t learned the art of conscious polarity, 

becoming Trigger-Proof, and mastering the conflict/repair cycle. 

It’s a skill that was never taught to us.

I know you want to master the art of Nervous System Regulation,

and break the victim identity 

and take responsibility for your own upgrade, 

rather than relying on your partner(s) and you’re DONE 

with waiting on the world to change. 

That’s why you’re in my algorithm. 

You’re a cyclebreaker. 

Feel a little spooked by that noble cause?

Try it on, right now.

Consider the possibility that you were put on this earth 

to break the cycle that didn’t start with you.

The cycle ends with you. 

That’s why you’re here. 

And you’re willing to learn how to become your own hero,

and like Stacie, 

master the art of healing ruptured attachments. 

Upgrade your skillsets 

to become a "safe container” for a secure partnership that feels safe.

This is our task of being a human.

To heal with the most important relationship that ALL OTHERS stand upon: 

The one with yourself.

That’s a relationship worth fighting for, and living for. 

Your wingman on the adventure, 

Nima.
__________________

P.S. Ready to stop fawning and people pleasing,

and master the art of turning Anxious attachments into an earned secure status?

Where to begin:

The Overview Experience is a 6 hour DEEP dive into the unconscious motives

that keep us stuck in Trauma Bonded dynamics.

There you’ll learn how to peel back the layers that cause us to react

in insecure and immature ways that lend to toxic relationships.

Ideal for anyone healing from a Breakup or in a “should I stay or go”

situation who has a deep value of self reflection and personal responsibility,

wanting to learn how to become proficient at the rupture/repair cycle,

so you can master the skills to heal decade of resentment in one day.

8 spots left- register by Feb 2nd to get a 1-1 Integration session with me,

Dr. Nima after for Implementation of your newly found skills.

http://go.drnima.com/oevw/?

I just had a frustrated commenter (Carol) on my facebook page.

She said “I could care less about having a relationshit”. 

It’s not worth the BS and the hoop jumping, 

and the fact that no one cares about boundaries. 

Single is peace.”

I just wanted to jump through the inter webs and give her a hug.

Too many people these days can relate to this.

Relationships are crumbling.

Dating these days is scary AF. 

She’s voicing the frustration of many folks 

who deep down clearly want to have safe and secure connections in love,

but have been so disillusioned with their past experiences, 

that they just feel like throwing in the towel. 

Still wounded and shell shocked from their previous attempts. 

You might be single or even in a partnership 

but if you’re reading this piece of content,

it means there’s a chance that you’re wanting to master 

the complex art of becoming better at love.

Even Carol— as disheartened and demoralized as she is,

you can tell she really wishes things were different.

She wouldn’t be seeing my content if she REALLY had given up.

Same with you.

I can relate— because I felt the exact same way.

I went on a search to find out the root cause

of what the hell makes relationships so complicated.

I was shocked and relieved to find out.

It was a “eureka” moment when I discovered it:

ENMESHMENT TRAUMA.

Enmeshment is a developmental form of trauma

where you’re raised in environments 

where there is blurred, 

unclear or a complete a lack of boundaries between family members.

Think of your family of origin.

In cases where enmeshment is present,

members often have a difficult time differentiating their own emotions, 

needs, desires, and issues from others in the dynamic. 

If dad is upset, then you are too.

“I can’t be ok, if you’re not ok. So I need to fix others to feel safe."

There’s excessive over-involvement and over-reliance on others 

to make decisions for you,

with an over-expectation of receiving emotional support from you.

Or vice versa. 

This pattern gets hard-wired into your nervous system. 

If left unchecked, it gets passed down to your children.

And then they eventually feel they are responsible for your emotions. 

Your intimate partnerships start to become chaotic: 

- Lack of identity and sense of self, inability to think for oneself

- fawning (fixing identity)

- people-pleasing

- excessive fear of conflict

- trouble forming and maintaining healthy relationships

- reliance on external validation

- over-run by feelings of guilt, shame, and resentment

- Chronic health issues

All happens when a relationship gets s£xual, but even before.

Pretty soon you feel like you have lost yourself.

“I can’t have me and have you at the same time.” 

This creates a massive push/pull dynamic

that’s characteristic of a Trauma Bond. 

No wonder Carol would rather avoid relationships.

Anyone who says “I’m done with relationships” is likely Enmeshed,

and doesn’t even know what that is.

If you can relate to this list, this isn’t your fault. 

You simply haven’t yet learned how to Become Trigger-Proof,

and heal from Enmeshment Trauma. 

It’s a process.

It’s a skill you can learn, 

and it involves going much deeper than talk therapy 

where you’re just telling your story and getting advice every week.

Why?

Because since it’s a DEVELOPMENTAL Trauma, 

much of the issue has begun before having language, 

and it’s so insidious you didn’t even likely know this was the root of the issue.

So that’s why going to a Therapist is helpful to have an assessment

and validated in your story,

but leaves you frustrated without any tools. 

That’s where Debra was.

Debra was on her 2nd marriage and stuck, 

her relationship was frozen, 

feeling like her life force energy was off, 

and her daughter who had been a part of our community for a year, 

finally talked her into attending the Overview Experience. 

In that event, she had an epiphany about Enmeshment, 

and began applying the tools to rewire it from her biology,

and experienced such a profound shift,

she wanted to share exactly how she did it and the impact it made

in this 8 minute video.

HERE’S WHAT TO DO:

If you’re stuck in a “should I stay or go” situation,

or you KNOW you deserve better than what you’ve been experiencing,

and you’ve tried all the things, 

and you’re tired of just having your story validated,

and are wanting skills to heal from Enmeshment,

master the art of taking your triggers and moving them through your body,

so they don’t consume you anymore, 

I’m demonstrating EXACTLY the process I had to create

to go from Toxic Trauma Bond to secure love in 6 months

at the next Overview Experience. 

I’ll be training my community (plus 10 spots I open for those committed to learn)

how to shift your system into safety,

dissolve the judgement, shame and guilt 

you may have been carrying for decades,

so that you can find your self worth,

and trust yourself in relationships,

and find your boundaries, 

break free from codependency

and become magnetic to a secure partner if you’re single,

or upgrade the intimacy in your relationship.

Yup, the process is laid out for you, 

all in a matter of 6 hours that flies by.

It didn’t start with you,

It’s not your fault.

but it can end with you.

Chances are, you might be enmeshed

and it’s killing your vibe. 

But the good news is, 

you no longer have to be.

Your wingman on the adventure,

Nima

Heal Enmeshment here:
https://go.drnima.com/oevw/?sl=transistor

P.S. February 24th from 12noon- 6pm PST (3-9pm EST)

I’ll be doing a deep dive into the nuances of Enmeshment,

resentment, and how to break free from Trauma Bon...

We’ve had over 100,000 people do our attachment-style quiz

that helps you determine your attachment style. 

Guess what the most common attachment style has been??

Nope, not “avoidant”.

Those who identify as “avoidant” will often “avoid" the discomfort 

of looking inward and doing the quiz.

Not too many avoidants.

The answer is “anxious attached”— AKA “ambivalent”.

This is experienced as constantly worrying if your partner is wanting to leave you.

Second guessing yourself and reading into everything…

Expecting doomsday— where they are going to tell you they’re gone.

Deep down it’s felt like a PRIMAL PANIC.

And it all comes from unresolved trauma and an ability to self- regulate.

Not your fault.

It feels like: 

“I’m unworthy of someone truly showing up for me” 

is what’s buried underneath all the anxiety.

You see, deep down we all crave to be secure humans, 

who are magnetic, 

not having to chase love, 

but open to receive it willingly and abundantly. 

AND TO KNOW WE ARE WORTHY OF RECEIVING IT.

But if your experience in your relationship(s) has been the opposite,

just realize its not because you’re unworthy. 

You simply haven’t learned how to BE the love you’ve been seeking.

You haven’t learned how to self-regulate when triggered into your abandonment wounds,

and meet your own needs when it matters most:  

After deep attachment forms (after you bond with sex), and you experience a rupture.

From there, no matter how much success you have in your career,

after the attachment hooks are in,

all bets are off, and you’re now run by your conditioning.

Arguments feel like catastrophes that are the end of the world. 

but it doesn’t have to be this way.

You CAN shift to a secure state,

by shifting how you REACT,

by shifting your relationship with conflict,

by shifting how your nervous system is able to SELF-REGULATE,

by shifting how you can process your triggers,

and lean into co-regulating with yourself. 

The video link shows Miranda sharing her story with me

for 8 minutes— while I was on a walk in the neighborhood. 

She shared exactly how it’s done and what happened to her when she did all that.

You likely have been looking for answers to this insecure style of relating.

If you’re like most of our cyclebreakers, 

you hate having to go to endless therapy sessions where you tell your story

with no tools, no resolution, just to be validated,

but still walking away lacking the security that can only be acquired 

from YOURSELF. 

You’re likely on my email list receiving this message because you want

to be magnetic— instead of chasing— and to have love chase YOU.

And you know that can only happen when you feel safe in your own skin.

That’s why my focus is always on healing at a somatic level, 

out of story, into mastering SKILLS to bring your mojo to a level where

love is chasing YOU. 

Where do you begin?

There’s still space for our Overview Experience workshop on zoom tomorrow.

6 hours.

Here’s what to do:

Take your biggest conflict in relationship 

that has you showng up as anxious or avoidant, 

and I’ll help you unpack it and turn it into a love so deep for yourself,

many have said they have never felt this kind of love before. 

And I’ll also be showing you a very powerful tool 

that helps rewire resentment and victimhood, 

and cause the participants to reclaim power they kept giving away.

Space left for someone ready to open up their schedule,

and dive deep into mastering their SELF WORTH.

You wanna shift from insecure to secure?

There’s a path forward, if you’re willing to let go and be guided.

Your wingman on the adventure,

Nima

BECOME TRIGGER PROOF HERE
https://go.drnima.com/oevw/?sl=podcast

 if you have lived a life

feeling like you needed to wear a mask 

and play a role of “Pleasing others”

in order to get your needs met,

just know that you’re not alone.

“Fawning” is a Trauma response that many 

I’ve spoken to didn’t even realize they were doing,

because they fawn AS A LIFESTYLE.

A personality.

Fawning is akin to “people pleasing.”

Altering my truth, my expression in front of you

because I’m terrified of upsetting you

or having me be perceived by you as “bad.”

Fawning isn’t just being a “nice guy” or “good girl,”

or being overly flirtatious and flattering.

It’s also suppressing my truth in fear of your reaction. 

“I can’t tell you how I really feel because I don’t want to upset you."

We learn this as a survival strategy in childhood 

and we don’t even know it.

It’s like being born into a fishbowl of dirty water.

You don’t know it’s dirty, you think it’s just normal.

Same with fawning.

“I didn’t know I was fawning 

because I thought it’s being kind or having manners.”

There’s a distinction between kindness and fawning.

Kindness feels like an opening in the body.

Fawning has a felt sense experience 

of CONTRACTION.

And it always results in one thing: Resentment.

Make no mistake: Fawning is a form of self abandonment.

You can’t fawn without resenting yourself.

Then you will project it on others. 

It’s smiling when you’re hurting inside.

It’s saying “I’m fine” when I’m not.

It’s the main reason why so many of us lie. 

Truth is, we are lying to ourselves, 

and that gets EXHAUSTING.

Without getting to the root cause and healing it, 

we are run by resentment, 

we feel chronically tired and sore,

auto-immune symptoms flare up, 

all because of the impact of abandoning ourselves.

To truly heal from this flavor of trauma response, 

we must be willing to go deeper than just talk therapy. 

We must focus on a body-based approach, 

and deepen our relationship with the body, 

and the way it’s constantly speaking to us.

To be able to read the signals

of how it feels when we are speaking the truth,

and how it feels when we are just performing.

Hint: We are performing MOST of the time.

This is why I left my Chiropractic practice: 

Chronic health issues from unresolved trauma responses.

And it’s been a hot topic in our community, 

because with holidays and family get togethers behind us,

“tis the season” of fawning.

This is exactly why I will be tackling this issue head on

in my Cyclebreakers community this upcoming week.

I’m extending an invitation to you if this resonates.

It’s for you if you crave healthy, secure relationships, 

and want to feel safe and secure in your own body,

living from a place of self expression, 

creating relationships where others are treating you authentically.

It’s for you if you are ready to break the cycle of intergenerational 

fawning so you can show your kids how to find their truth as well.

It’s for you if you are ready to lead with intuition instead of

your trauma responses (and be able to understand the difference).

On Friday January 12 I’m hosting a 3 hour masterclass called

“From People Pleasing to Powerful: How to stop fawning and start flourishing”

from 4-7pm PST (That’s 7-10pm EST 

and that’s 11am -2pm sydney time on Saturday the 13th.)

There, we will discuss exactly what constitutes as fawning,

Overt and covert ways we fawn so you can recognize when its happening, 

and exactly how to go from people pleasing fawner to authentic and confident

so that you can show up with self-worth in relationships.

It’s not your fault, but it IS your responsibility to break the cycle.

It’s time to finally learn how to break free from that fish bowl into your own aquarium.

Stop Fawning Here
http://go.drnima.com/164mdp

I hate this question so much
that I decided to create content about it
so that forever more, I can keep referring back to it
when I’m asked the question:

“I’ve tried so many things. How will I know if this will work for me?”

First off, I want you to know how much I can empathize with the question.
Nobody wants to invest their time and resources into something,
and then feel like they are spinning their wheels getting nowhere.

So I’m going to show you how we make sure
that those who decide to become #Cyclebreakers
and heal from their insecure relationships, codependency,
and trauma bonds can look back with great satisfaction
and see that indeed, their lives are unrecognizable
to what they were before doing the deep work.

Essentially, the goal of any deep work is this:

YOU WANT TO RESPOND DIFFERENTLY TO TRIGGERSTHAT YOU NORMALLY WOULD HAVE REACTED TO.

That’s how you know the work has “worked”.
And in order to get there,
in our processes with our clients and students,

we make sure to have them get clear on two things.

Ask yourself this:

1) Can you decide on a “dream come true outcome” for you?
What do you want to happen in your life/health/relationships within the next six months that would have you feeling like this was the greatest
training you ever participated in?

- This question helps us get clarity on why you’re doing the work
in the first place. And please don’t say “I want to be happy.”

That’s so… vague.

I’m living the life of my dreams right now,
some days aren’t happy, and I go through challenging days
where I forget how blessed I am.

Instead of “I want to be happy and confident and fearless!!”
which is vague, fleeting, and fantasy-based,
try on “I want to feel excitement to tackle the challenges of my day,”
which speaks about resilience and capacity rather than living a one-sided fantasy.
Notice the difference in the outcome?

That’s doable and has a path towards being successful when you master
nervous system regulation (which is the first module in all our programs).

Instead of “I want to have a happy relationship!” which is vague and fantasy-based,
try on “I want to be able to repair from conflict within minutes instead of weeks.”
that’s a realistic outcome that we can reverse engineer through the work.

This is another training that can easily be implemented with practice.
Whenever we interview applicants who want to work with us,
whenever they share their frustrations on other therapists and modalities
that they said “didn’t work,”

It was easy to find the reason why.

1) They were vague with their outcomes from the beginning,
which wasn’t their fault. It’s important to have guides that can extract
specific outcomes for you to create. I know you don’t want to be there
week after week repeating the same victim story not moving forward.
You don’t want to be paying someone just to validate you.

2) They put all the focus on the doctor/practitioner/program to “heal,”
instead of realizing that nobody is coming to rescue them, and it’s THEM
that does the healing. After 20 years of being a chiropractor one thing is clear:

Our role as practitioners are merely GUIDES to help you BECOME YOUR OWN MEDICINE.
To awaken the healer within yourself.

3) They weren’t walking the path with a guide who has actually DONE THE WORK they are teaching.
A counselling diploma or a Phd doesn’t mean you’re an expert in creating secure relationships.
Is the person who’s guiding you— have they walked their talk?
Have they been through toxic relationships— and are they teaching from their scars?Have they integrated their shadows?
If you can keep that in mind,
and are committed to the path,
are coachable,
willing to show up and ask questions,
share your feelings,
and lean into the discomfort that change requires of all of us,

there’s no reason why
once you find the right guide and community,
you WON'T be able to look back several years from now
and be so proud of who you have become.

“It” won’t work for you— you will work for you.
And you’ll LOVE the outcomes:

Relationships where you’re able to express your authentic truth,
where love is received just as freely as it is given,
where there is magnetism and inspiration,
where you have each other’s backs,
and you can repair from ruptures quickly,
and are able to regulate your emotions,
because your resiliency and capacity have expanded.

Get clear on who you’re committed to becoming.
Find a structure and plan to reverse engineer,
master the skills you’re deficient in,
and find a guide to help you with your blind spots.

Do that, and “it” won’t have to work for you,
because YOU are the one who will.

Your wingman on the adventure,
Dr. Nima
_____________________________________________
Upcoming Masterclass "SHOULD I STAY OR GO?" Live Event (Every month)
If you’re stuck in limbo, in repetitive relationship patterns, same arguments, attracting the same patterns, and you want to gain the clarity, confidence, and Courage to create secure relationships
https://drnima.com/lp/should-i-stay-or-go/?sl=transistor-podcast

Upcoming Overview Experience Virtual Event (Every month)
Dissolve your current relationship resentment, heal your attachment wounds, resolve your past and bring clarity to your next step.
https://go.drnima.com/oevw?sl=transistor-podcast

Or if you are wanting to hop on a call and discuss how we can support you through your transition and you're wanting deeper guidance on your healing journey and you're ready to break the cycle of inter-generational trauma (divorce, separation, relationship limbo, past trauma spilling into present)
https://drnima.com/discovery/application/?sl=transistor-podcast

Join my Facebook Group to help you understand yourself, control your triggers, regulate your nervous system and know what's keeping you stuck in these times of crisis:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/triggerproof

Are you on Telegram? Click link below to join my channel for some TriggerProof wisdom to keep your nervous system regulated, your soul in your body, and your heart aligned with your purpose.
https://t.me/joinchat/TPQjyH2MCBKHonIR

 nobody’s talking about this.

It’s the least talked about Trauma response, 

yet it’s the most common. 

You often hear and read content about Fight, Flight, and Freeze trauma responses.

These are adaptations we learn in childhood that keep us alive.

You’re able to read this piece of content because your Trauma Responses were successful.

But there’s one that you don’t hear much of, 

because it’s so insidious and all-pervasive 

that you don’t even notice you’re doing it.

You’re doing it every time you are wearing a smile in public

(pretending to be ok when you’re not.)

You’re doing it when you abandon your own needs 

and volunteer to help someone when you don’t have the bandwidth.

You’re doing it when you say yes to having sex with your partner 

because you don’t wan to hurt their feelings.

You’re doing it when you over-apologize to avoid an argument

(or risk displeasing someone.)

You probably even did it in some way this holiday season around family—

just to avoid conflict.

I’m talking about the “Fawn” response, which make no mistake—

is a Trauma response. 

We learned how to do this as children— 

in a moment of perceived threat,

to appease the other person and maintain an attachment with them,

or avoid getting hurt.

If you have ever identified as a “People Pleaser”

or a “Nice guy/good girl” then you are likely a fawner.

Fawning is: “I’ll say whatever I need to say 

and be whoever I need to be in order to get my needs met.”

This is where our masks come from.

We do it with strangers.

We do it with our partner.

We do it with co-workers.

We do it with our children.

Fawning isn’t just about being overly flirtatious, charming

or laughing hysterically at someone’s jokes from whom you’re trying to win favor.

There are far more covert ways of fawning as well.

 Not speaking up to share your feelings because you "don’t want to be a burden.”

 Being ill and keeping it quiet because you "don’t want to upset anyone.”

 Not sharing something that’s bothering you with a friend or someone your’e dating—

 then letting it fester to the point where you avoid the person altogether instead of speaking up.

There are a million more.

If you can relate to any of these insidious Trauma responses, 

just know that it’s not your fault. 

We don’t do this consciously. 

It’s often so engrained in us that fawning is a LIFESTYLE. 

An IDENTITY. 

It’s conditioned into us as "cultural decencies.”

Societal norms. 

Ways to protect ourselves from being abused.

We abandon ourselves to be “polite” and “nice” and some even call it “manners”. 

Becoming a Martyr is validated, venerated, and celebrated. 

Then we wonder why we feel so resentful. 

And EXHAUSTED.

It’s because we can’t fawn without simultaneously creating resentment towards ourselves. 

Then we will mistakenly project it onto others and often blame them for it. 

And, over time, 

the pressure builds and builds— 

until we either “snap” and it explodes in dissociative rage,

or we internalize the resentment and it turns to chronic pain, 

chronic illness, 

and auto-immune disorders.

Or avoidance of people in general.

Secure relationships are impossible without working through this conflict. 

“I can’t have you and I can’t have me at the same time because when you are there I lose myself."

This is all too common— 

and comes from an identity of Fawning we learned as a response to the threat 

of losing attachments when we were children.

So the next time you hear the term “it’s in my family history” when it comes to illnesses

like digestive, thyroid, auto-immune, and reproductive issues, 

check in to see if fawning is in your family history too.

Because to heal from our toxic people pleasing behaviours 

will require a lot more than drugs and surgery. 

It requires becoming Trigger Proof and mastering the art of Polarized Communication.

Of being able to discern your intuitive KNOWING from your Trauma responses…

When you do—

you’re able to sit with the guilt of displeasing someone.

You’re able to trust and obey your own inner voice over outside voices.

You stop giving a crap about what others think of you,

and you get to experience the freedom of living THIS ONE LIFE for yourself and what fulfills you.

Suddenly you wake up one day and see that the people around you

actually love who YOU ARE,

because you’ve dropped the mask and are real and authentic.

You realize that ONLY FROM THAT PLACE can secure relationships thrive. 

This is why I’m so dedicated to getting to the upstream root cause of the problem.

Even though it’s likely the first Trauma response you were conditioned to learn, 

nobody’s really talking about this, 

and it’s destroying our health and relationships. 

It doesn’t have to be this way anymore, and I’m committed to teaching

the tools I needed the most— so that I could create vibrant health and fulfilling relationships. 

The patterns live in our bones. 

It didn’t start with you,

but it can end with you. 

Your wingman on the adventure,

 (ending your fawning response forever….)

Nima
_________________________________________________________________

P.S. Are you tired of constantly sacrificing your needs and wants? 

Ready to break free from the exhausting cycle of people-pleasing? 

I’ve been hearing the calls for a deeper dive into this crucial topic, 

and we're answering with an empowering, life-changing workshop:

"From People Pleasing to Powerful: How to Stop Fawning and Start Flourishing in Relationships"

Join us for an intensive 3-hour journey where you'll discover:

 • Neurosensory Practices: These aren’t just techniques; 
 they are the keys to a new you. You'll learn how to shift from being a self-abandoning people pleaser 
 to becoming an authentic, self-loving individual - 
 a transformation that will resonate in every aspect of your life as a parent, partner, and friend.

 • Say Goodbye to Chronic Illness and Pain: Learn how to let your voice, not your body, say "no.” 
 We'll tackle how chro...

read this only if you’re a parent

there’s a way you can virtually GUARANTEE you’ll end up being a sh*tty parent.

And it won’t even be intentional.
You’ll have all the right intentions for your parenting game.
You’ll read the books and articles and watch the youtube videos 
about making sure you’re an amazing parent,

and that you WON’T make the same mistakes your mother/father did…

but if you don’t do this ONE thing….

You’ll end up repeating behavioral patterns 
that you PROMISED yourself you wouldn’t do.

What is "That thing?" 

It’s to heal your attachment traumas at a Somatic level and become Trigger-Proof. 

Why?

Because BY DESIGN the things that you haven’t completed from your past
the resentments and regrets you’re holding onto
are still in your body...
will show up again and again because they live INSIDE YOU. 

Without a process and path to meet with, 
to release and metabolize 
all the triggers that your family can and WILL bring up within you,
without you even knowing it, 
you’ll react from a regressed state,
instead of showing up like the person you promised to be.

And none of it will be your fault,

just like it wasn’t your parent’s fault either.

They didn’t take the time to learn 
-how to become Trigger-Proof,
-how to create polarity in their relationship
-how to master the art of conflict and repair

and because they didn’t learn it,
you ended up having the experience you had,
and without even being aware of it,

this is what we pass along to the next generation.

As a result, kids end up growing anxious,
depressed,
reactive,

numb and dissociated,
hiding from the world.

They don’t know what to do with their emotions,
just like us…
so then it’s no surprise that they will want to isolate,
they don’t feel seen and understood,
and become reactive and “act out”,

which brings up all sorts of feelings of failure as a parent,
underneath all the anger most parents are feeling these days.

If you can relate to this, 
just know that you’re not alone and it’s not your fault.

You CAN create a different scenario.

An outcome where the home feels like a sanctuary 
instead of a battlefield.

Where your children want to engage and connect
because of the loving magnetism you bring.

As a parent,
this is what we all want.

That’s why I stand for breaking the cycle of sh*tty parenting.
That’s why I stand for healed families.

It didn’t start with you,
but it can end with you.

Your wingman on the adventure,

Dr. Nima.
_______________________________________
Upcoming Masterclass "SHOULD I STAY OR GO?" Live Event (Every month)
If you’re stuck in limbo, in repetitive relationship patterns, same arguments, attracting the same patterns, and you want to gain the clarity, confidence, and Courage to create secure relationships
https://drnima.com/lp/should-i-stay-or-go/?sl=transistor-podcast

Upcoming Overview Experience Virtual Event (Every month)
Dissolve your current relationship resentment, heal your attachment wounds, resolve your past and bring clarity to your next step.
https://go.drnima.com/oevw?sl=transistor-podcast

Or if you are wanting to hop on a call and discuss how we can support you through your transition and you're wanting deeper guidance on your healing journey and you're ready to break the cycle of inter-generational trauma (divorce, separation, relationship limbo, past trauma spilling into present)
https://drnima.com/discovery/application/?sl=transistor-podcast

Join my Facebook Group to help you understand yourself, control your triggers, regulate your nervous system and know what's keeping you stuck in these times of crisis:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/triggerproof

Are you on Telegram? Click link below to join my channel for some TriggerProof wisdom to keep your nervous system regulated, your soul in your body, and your heart aligned with your purpose.
https://t.me/joinchat/TPQjyH2MCBKHonIR

In all the years helping folks healing from Trauma Bonds,

I learned two very shocking facts:

1) We are facing an epidemic of people who have exes who they label as “narcissists”.

2) Almost every single person I’ve ever met with who labels their ex as a narcissist, 

has massive blind spots that I am able to spot in them. There’s a narcissistic shadow in them they can’t see,

or they are denying is there (which is exactly what most narcissists do— they would never admit it).

How do I know?

Easy. MY EX IS A NARCISSIST!!!

(haha)

In all certainty, my ex gf has 8/9 traits of Borderline Personality Disorder, 

with obvious covert narcissistic traits.

I survived leaving the relationship barely with my life and reputation intact.

Even though I’m joking a little bit right now, 

the recovery for this process wasn’t easy.

So if you identify with your ex being a narcissist, 

just know I see you.

Other than doing my research to study the behaviors to understand her better,

to help let myself off the hook, to know that all the gaslighting they were doing

was coming from a place of their own lack of self worth and need for control…

And it’s important to acknowledge your pain,

staying there and labelling them only keeps you stuck in a loop.

Especially if you have no choice to keep them in your life.

I was blessed to not have any children with my ex.

But many folks who dm me looking for guidance through their trauma bonds,

ask me about what to do if they have to co-parent with their ex who has those traits.

I’m going to suggest you learn a skill 

that got me to the next level of healing— completely able to dissolve all my charges on her 

behaviors….

This skill is a skill most narcissists are unable to learn.

But if you’re able to master it,

not only can you confirm that you’re NOT the narcissist in the relationship,

but the person you once labelled and edified as a monster,

no longer has power over you,

And their opinion of you no longer has the power

to distract you from your sense of self worth.

It’s a skill that is required if you want to move on and create what it is that you really want:

Love that is secure.

That skill is:

Your ability to see yourself in them. 

Your ability to own your own narcissistic traits, in your own form.

We all have a “Donald Trump” within us who’s got narcissistic traits.

If you can’t see it or own it in yourself— you’ll be super triggered when you see it in others.

When you own it in yourself, not only does it stop you from feeling so victimized by the other person,

your self worth starts to increase in a weird way.

That’s the nature of owning and integrating your shadow parts.

So whether the issue is co-parenting with someone who is toxic,

or you are wanting to learn how to elevate your self worth 

so that you can finally have the courage to no longer tolerate anything less than high value love,

if you want to keep elevating your magnetism by learning how to create safety with yourself and others,

I’m ready to meet you and your shadows there.

This is exactly what the Overview Experience zoom event is all about.

Picture taking 6 hours to learn how to dissolve self abandonment, break free from trauma bonds,

heal co-dependency, and upgrade your self worth so that you can turn anxious attachment patterns into secure love.

When you do, you no longer need to give your power away to someone else.

You claim it for yourself and you magnetize that kind of love back to you.

On December 16th we have only 10 spots for couples who are stuck in the “should I stay or go” dynamic,

or people who are wanting to heal an attachment wound from a breakup and upgrade who they are on the other side of it.

First 5 to register get an 1-1 integration call with me to help complete your experience and set the vision for your 

secure relationship to flourish, free from the narcissistic / codependent cycle.

This is where it all gets started. 

Your wingman on the adventure,

Nima

_______________________________________________________________
Upcoming Masterclass "SHOULD I STAY OR GO?" Live Event (Every month)
If you’re stuck in limbo, in repetitive relationship patterns, same arguments, attracting the same patterns, and you want to gain the clarity, confidence, and Courage to create secure relationships
https://drnima.com/lp/should-i-stay-or-go/?sl=transistor-podcast

Upcoming Overview Experience Virtual Event (Every month)
Dissolve your current relationship resentment, heal your attachment wounds, resolve your past and bring clarity to your next step.
https://go.drnima.com/oevw?sl=transistor-podcast

Or if you are wanting to hop on a call and discuss how we can support you through your transition and you're wanting deeper guidance on your healing journey and you're ready to break the cycle of inter-generational trauma (divorce, separation, relationship limbo, past trauma spilling into present)
https://drnima.com/discovery/application/?sl=transistor-podcast

Join my Facebook Group to help you understand yourself, control your triggers, regulate your nervous system and know what's keeping you stuck in these times of crisis:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/triggerproof

Are you on Telegram? Click link below to join my channel for some TriggerProof wisdom to keep your nervous system regulated, your soul in your body, and your heart aligned with your purpose.
https://t.me/joinchat/TPQjyH2MCBKHonIR

SIGNS YOU MIGHT BE IN A TRAUMA BOND

Is your relationship love? 

or is it a Trauma Bond.

And if it is— what do you do?

The answer depends on what kind of a life you want to have.

I share the 3 phases of the Trauma Bond 

and how to break free if you are choosing to walk the path.

Getting this right is the difference between passing 

down the trauma to your children…

vs being a Cyclebreaker.
_______________________________________
Upcoming Masterclass "SHOULD I STAY OR GO?" Live Event (Every month)
If you’re stuck in limbo, in repetitive relationship patterns, same arguments, attracting the same patterns, and you want to gain the clarity, confidence, and Courage to create secure relationships
https://drnima.com/lp/should-i-stay-or-go/?sl=transistor-podcast

Upcoming Overview Experience Virtual Event (Every month)
Dissolve your current relationship resentment, heal your attachment wounds, resolve your past and bring clarity to your next step.
https://go.drnima.com/oevw?sl=transistor-podcast

Or if you are wanting to hop on a call and discuss how we can support you through your transition and you're wanting deeper guidance on your healing journey and you're ready to break the cycle of inter-generational trauma (divorce, separation, relationship limbo, past trauma spilling into present)
https://drnima.com/discovery/application/?sl=transistor-podcast

Join my Facebook Group to help you understand yourself, control your triggers, regulate your nervous system and know what's keeping you stuck in these times of crisis:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/triggerproof

Are you on Telegram? Click link below to join my channel for some TriggerProof wisdom to keep your nervous system regulated, your soul in your body, and your heart aligned with your purpose.
https://t.me/joinchat/TPQjyH2MCBKHonIR