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A poem by Portia Nelson, published in her book

There's a Hole in My Sidewalk: The Romance of Self-Discovery 

                                    Verse I
I walk down the street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk I fall in. I am lost ... I am helpless. It isn't my fault. It takes forever to find a way out. 

                                  Verse II 
I walk down the same street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I pretend I don't see it. I fall in again. I can't believe I am in the same place. But, it isn't my fault. It still takes a long time to get out. 

                                 Verse III 
I walk down the same street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I see it is there. I still fall in ... it's a habit ... but, my eyes are open. I know where I am. It is my fault. I get out immediately. 

                                Verse IV 
I walk down the same street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I walk around it. 

                               Verse V
I walk down another street.

Triggers come in all shapes and sizes. Some are unavoidable. Some are in your face. Others hit you like a train when you are completely not expecting it. Triggers don't play fair.

'Broadly', there are two types of triggers. Emotional Triggers and Environmental Triggers. (Things going on internally and others are external forces).

Triggers are often linked to unmet 'wants' or 'needs'. Remember, you can't be tempted by what does't tempt you!

You cannot change what you cannot see - because it lives in the unseen/the unconscious. Change cannot begin until you can see the problem; because you have moved it into the seen - into the visible - into the conscious.

Thereafter, there is a process. No quick fixes. Small incremental steps. One step at a time. Like the donkey in the well, with dirt being thrown down on it to bury it, you learn to wiggle and shake it off.

You know there is a problem. You keep on keeping on keeping on falling in it. Learn to get up, dust off and get back in the fight. One day you will walk around it.

"How did I do that?". Because each time you were falling in it, you shook it off, got back up and got back in. You walked around it.

Then, in the distant future, you don't even notice the problem. "Is that really possible Gary?" Yes. But no quick fixes and it is in the distant future, of consistency. Consistently maintaining sobriety. You have learned to walk down another street.

Let The Kairos Centre journey with you.

Gary McFarlane (BA, LLM, Dip, Certs), Accredited EMDR Practitioner.

Sex Addiction | Porn Addiction | Love Addiction | Porn Causes | Recover from Addiction | Self-Soothing Behaviors | Childhood Trauma | Inner Child work | Childhood Development and Addiction bullying | Porn Addiction Recovery | Abuse | Sexual Abuse | Sex Addiction Recovery | Domestic Violence | Family Conflict | Overcoming Porn addiction | Porn Addiction Side effects | Porn Addiction Symptoms | Emotional Neglect | Quit Porn Addiction | Peer Pressure | Performance Pressure | Separation | Divorce | Fear | Anxiety | Stress | Mental

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