Triumph After Trauma

Welcome (back) to Triumph After Trauma; I'm so glad you're here for another chat!

Today friends, we're taking a slightly deeper dive into talks about trauma than we're already used to. I felt like having a conversation about signs of suppressed or repressed trauma and what we can do for ourselves (or people we care about) when these signs show up is important, because sometimes our brain stores memories in our subconscious. Our brain does this sometimes to try and protect us, but unfortunately in the long run it ends up hurting us more than anything.

I have been in denial about how much certain things have affected me, dealt with anger issues as a result of unresolved trauma (more because for a long time I didn't know where to start in getting help) and experienced the type of deep + dark depression you don't know if you'll make it out of.  I feel like as someone who has been through it, talking about some of my experiences and sharing  physical signs of trauma that maybe needs to be understood better or worked through might help someone who is currently in a place that feels impossible to get out of/work through. 

Please remember that while I believe doing the hard, scary, uncomfortable work to heal from different traumas and learn to sit with grief is worth it I 100% understand none of us can even begin to do any work unless we feel ready. If you are trying to recall some of your traumatic memories or work through your trauma, please make sure you are doing it because you feel ready to. This is not something you should feel/be forced into, that will not help.

If you resonate with this episode, please feel free to message me on Instagram (@thisiskaitey is my handle) so we can connect more! If you know someone who needs to hear this, share this episode on social media and tag me so I can thank you for spreading the word about Triumph After Trauma! I'm so grateful we're connected <3

In this week's episode friends, we're having a chat about some triggers of anxiety that while are common aren't talked about as othe triggers are.

Not only do we have a chat about what some of them are, but I sharw how each of the triggers mentioned have and/or do affect me. I also share some tips on how when we are triggered (because we are human and it will happen), we take steps to get in control of that so our anxiety doesn't take over and take hold of the driver's seat. 

I hope somewhere in our 35 minute conversation you hear something that resonates with you or you can learn/grow from! 

If you would like to connect more, we can do that via Instagram (@thisiskaitey is my handle)! And if you know someone who needs to hear any part of this, share the episode and tag me on social media so I can thank you for spreading the word about Triumph After Trauma. I am SO grateful to be connected with you <3

All trauma is valid, I want to start by saying that.

But, the kind of resources/support we need to work through our trauma is different. I have learned recently about little T and big T trauma, and how knowing (when working through a specific event/experience) which type of trauma you're working through can not only help you understand better what kind of help you may need/most benefit from, but also take steps to get the right support.

As someone who is pretty strong on the "all trauma is valid" outlook, I have never really stopped to think about it this way. However, I will say learning about this has quickly put a lot right into perspective for me!

If you resonate with this episode, please don't hesitate to reach out on Instagram (@thisiskaitey is my handle), so we can connect more! And if you know someone who needs to hear this, share the episode and make sure to tag me so I can thank you for spreading the word about Triumph After Trauma! I'm so grateful to be connected <3

I'm going to share something that really irritated me when I first heard this, but turned out to be an incredibly important piece of advice.

I don't remember the exact wording, but it went something like this "an important part of your healing is  you admitting where and how you are creating your own suffering".

If you felt a twitch of anger or a weird feeling in your stomach/gut, that was me the first time I heard those words. It's a hard pill to swallow, no doubt about that, but being able honest with yourself about the ways you may be causing your own suffering is an important part of being able to work through your traumas or learn to sit with grief. 

Admitting how you may be hurting yourself means you can then work through all of your, grief, anger, fear etc and not just the pain others have caused you. 

Working through trauma and changing the things you do that may be hurting you instead of helping you is hard and uncomfortable. Having to be vulnerable is scary, but it's an important part of working through any sort of trauma you have experienced. It takes time to work through hard, scary, life changing experiences and that can lead to things like frustration, irritability, anxiety, etc but being patient with yourself and giving yourself grace can help. 

As timely, scary, frustrating, and emotionally hard as it may be working through experiences that have traumatized you in any way is important - for yourself more than anyone else - for a few different reasons. 

I talk about that in today's episode, and share a reminder that you deserve to work through things that have (deeply) affected and hurt you so you're really living your life your way. 

If this episode resonates with you, don't hesitate to message me on Instagram (@thisiskaitey is my handle) so we can connect more! If you know someone who needs to hear this, share it on social media and tag me so I can thank you for spreading the word about Triumph After Trauma! I'm so grateful to be connected with you <3

I am an advocate of rest and taking breaks when needed. 

Sometimes we plan for it, sometimes (and not always in the best ways) we really don't. 

I had some health issues really kick my ass the past few weeks and someone I love going through something tough needed me, so I was of course there to support them. That is why I unexpectedly have been away. None of how my life has gone the past 4-5 weeks did I expect or feel prepared for. 

Our situations are constantly changing. Being human can be incredibly tough. Life is equally incredible/beautiful as it is frustrating/heartbreaking. 

This episode is an update on what I live with (diagnosis' and medical conditions) and what I have been going through recently. I also share how our physical health can affect our mental health/life, and why grace when times are rough is so dang important.

Whatever you may be facing please know you are doing the best you can with what you have and you deserve credit for that, listening to your body/mind is the best thing you can do for yourself, and a sick life does not have to mean a bad life (this took me time to take seriously and really believe, bur I do now). 

If this episode resonates with you, please don't hesitate to message me on Instagram (@thisiskaitey is my handle) so we can connect more! If you know anyone who could benefit from my story or the tips/reminders I share, please tag the episode on social media and tag me so I can thank you for spreading the word about Triumph After Trauma! <3

This topic and (some of) what I say may ruffle some feathers, but I'm going there. 

Today we're having an important discussion about family dynamics, and how the dynamic you have with any number of family members (whoever it is you consider to be your real family) can either help or hinder and hurt your mental health. A healthy and supportive relationship where all parties make effort is important no matter what the relationship is, but I find most people find it toughest to talk about family. 

A lot of people also find it toughest to stick to their boundaries and stand up for themselves against family, which is no surprise and no different for me. I admit that.
We're in this together, even figuring out how to make family dynamics work in a way that will benefit all family members. 

I say this in the episode but want to share the reminder here too - if you have to distance yourself from or let go of any family member, that does not mean you don't love them! Don't let anyone guilt trip you into believing that. The problem is while love is important, it's not all that holds any relationship (friendship, family, romantic, otherwise) together. A lot of people believe it is that simple, though. 

If you resonate with this episode, don't hesitate to message me on Instagram (@thisiskaitey is my handle) so we can connect more! And if you know someone who needs to hear this, share it on social media and tag me so I can thank you for spreading the word about Triumph After Trauma! I'm so grateful we're connected <3

PART TWO OF TWO, HERE WE GO!

You have heard (if not, check out episode 53 first) about some of the things that got me to my lowest points and over time heard different stories of some of the hardest obstacles I have had to overcome. 

Now it's time to share the hard work, amount of time, patience, self dedication + responsibility and resources/tools it took to get me from there to where I am now.

I will always be honest about this, going from not caring about my existence and deeply fearing a crappy life is all that was in the books for me is by far the hardest thing  I have ever had to overcome. But I will also always say Never has it felt more rewarding to overcome something, because going from hating myself to loving myself and from not caring about living to enjoying my life is a feeling I honestly can't properly explain. It sort of feels like a miracle to have made it to my 30's, to be at 31 the healthiest I have ever been, and to actual be living instead of barely freaking surviving. 

If you don't think you can come out of a really dark place or incredibly difficult/scary season, I want you to know that I both understand your fears and believe that if I can freaking do it, so can you! You get one life, and I don't want you to spend yours struggling to survive or hating that you exist. None of us in the world deserve that, and if you do feel that way I want us to work through that together through this episode (and beyond if you need me to be your friend/part of your support system).

If you resonate with any of this episode, don't hesitate to message me on Instagram (@thisiskaitey is my handle) so we can connect more! If you know anyone who needs to hear this, share the episode and tag me so I can thank you for spreading the word about Triumph After Trauma. I'm so grateful we're connected <3

TW: This is my personal story (part one of two) of where I was at, how I felt, and how I was(not) showing up in the world when I was at my worst. Parts of what I talk about may be hard for people currently in a rough season or struggling mentally. If you are not in a good mental state, other episodes of mine may be better for you to hear. 

I asked my Instagram followers (follow me at @thisiskaitey if you want to connect more) if doing a two part episode sounded interesting, and the answer was a definite YES. So, I am doing my first one - this week you'll hear about me being at my lowest and what that looked/felt like. In next weeks episode, you'll hear how I somehow was able to make the comeback that I have made. 

If any of this part one of two episode hits home with you, don't hesitate to message me on Instagram so we can connect more! If you know anyone who should hear this, share it on social media and tag me so I can thank you for helping spread the word about Triumph After Trauma! I'm so grateful we're connected and I have the chance to share my stories with you <3

In today's episode we're talking about the b word.

That's right friends, today we have a conversation about boundaries! 

They are hard to stick to. Some people don't even have any. Other people's can feel hard to accept and respect (because you know, us humans can take things personally we dang well know we shouldn't). Yet, having and respecting boundaries is super important.

We're going to get real today about why it's so easy to struggle with boundaries, but the importance (for your health and wellness) of sticking to yours. We're also going to talk about how important it is to respect boundaries. 

Boundaries can be hard, but they are a fairly important part of keeping your wellness and mental well being/health on track!

If any of this resonates with you, don't hesitate to message me on Instagram (@thisiskaitey is my handle) so we can connect more! And if you know someone who needs to hear any of this, share it on social media and tag me so I can thank you for spreading the word about Triumph After Trauma! I'm so grateful to be connect this way <3

In today's episode, we're having a great conversation and unpacking a lot! 

We're diving into automatic trauma responses, what the four F's are in regards to automatic trauma responses, and what it takes/ways we can rewire our brains. 

As someone who has been through a lot of trauma but also done a lot of hard work to work through different things, I feel that by sharing what I've experienced and learned over time I can maybe be a friend to some of you looking for proof/an example that you can work through the things you may be doubting you can get through.

If you are really struggling and/or are concerned about your well being, please don't be scared to talk to the people in your personal life and get professional help if you feel it would benefit you. There is no shame in struggling, and you're not alone in what you're facing.

If you resonate with this episode, feel free to DM me on Instagram (@thisiskaitey is my handle) so we can connect more! If you know someone who needs to hear this, share the episode on social media and tag me so I can thank you for spreading the word about Triumph After Trauma! I'm so grateful to be connected with you <3