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You can wrap the gifts, hang the lights, and put on your matching pajamas… but it won’t save you.
Because every December, like clockwork, the chaos begins.

A public Christmas tree gets chainsawed in the middle of the night.
A guy breaks into someone’s home, unwraps their gifts, and passes out on their couch.
The Gävle Goat? Burned. Again.
And in Nantucket? What starts as a charming holiday stroll turns into a full‑blown brawl in front of a bakery.

It’s holiday carnage.

In this episode, we’re diving into the stories behind the blow-ups! The literal and inflatable, from small-town sabotage to international goat arson.
It’s petty. It’s aggressive. It’s festive.
And it’s all real.

So the next time you plug in that 12-foot snowman and wonder why your neighbor’s giving you side-eye…
Just remember: the war on Christmas isn’t political.
It’s personal.

This is True Terror on Tap.

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Step right up — the fair’s in town! The lights are flashing, the funnel cakes are hot, and the carnies are grinning just a little too wide. From creepy clowns to rides that should’ve been condemned in ’92, we’re pulling back the canvas curtain on the true terror lurking behind the midway.

We’ll dive into vanishing kids, haunted funhouses, sketchy “safety” inspections, and the long, weird history of fairs as a breeding ground for urban legends and real-life horror.

It’s all fried food and Ferris wheels… until someone doesn’t come back.

So grab your corn dog, kiss your wristband goodbye, and keep your eyes on the guy behind the prize counter — he might’ve been dead since 1974.

This is True Terror on Tap.

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One year of True Terror on Tap 🎉

We’re celebrating the only way we know how: by getting weird and laughing through it.

First, we head to Philly! —the Toynbee Tiles show up with the same carved message and zero signature. Then we rewind Chicago, 1987, where a plastic haircut barges into live TV and talks like the station owes him rent. And in Hexham, two little girls reach for toys they were never told about, like memory came with a receipt.

It’s our perfect mix: creepy facts, bad jokes, and that “why is this still bothering me on Tuesday?” feeling. We poke the asphalt, replay the hijack, side-eye the reincarnation thing, and try not to sound like responsible adults while we do it. Raise a glass with us, shout at your phone like you’re in the bar, and let’s mark the year with three stories that still won’t sit still.

Thank you for listening to True Terror on Tap, without you this would not be possible! 

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What if déjà vu isn’t just your brain misfiring, but proof that the code glitched? What if every Mandela Effect, every ghost in the machine, every “wait a second, didn’t Bowie already die once?” moment is evidence that this whole thing is running on a cheap processor in some cosmic basement?

In this episode, Joseph, Gabe, and Mike crack open the Simulation Theory — not like a boring TED Talk, but the way it should be done: dragged through Oxford philosophy, filtered through Ziggy Stardust, and shaken up with just enough paranoia to make you check twice if your hands are real. Expect talk of Nick Bostrom’s probability bomb, Elon Musk’s smug certainty, and the uncanny ways reality loves to hiccup right in your face.

It’s the start of a new series where mysticism, rock-and-roll occultism, and raw chaos all bleed together — and this first step asks the ugliest question of them all: if this is a simulation, who’s running it, and what happens if we figure out how to hack it?

Check out the article here! 

https://simulation-argument.com/simulation.pdf

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It’s been a minute — but we’re back. Life happened, mouths fell apart, schedules got wrecked, and meat wasn’t thawed. But we finally hit record, and this one was worth the wait.

We’ve got listener stories that’ll make you double-check your mirrors and question your memory. Some guy shows up in the woods and backs into the trees without turning. A sealed drainage pipe keeps whistling. A coworker might’ve never existed. A friend leaves the house… and then somehow leaves again. And there’s a repo guy who keeps seeing something in the mirror that isn’t there when he turns around.

It’s not about proof. It’s not about what makes sense. It’s just about what happened.

So next time something feels off — trust it.

Because whatever it is… it remembers you.

This is True Terror on Tap.

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Today on True Terror on Tap, we’re heading deep into the national parks—where the views are stunning, the vibes are peaceful, and the chances of being eaten, gored, or dragged out of your sleeping bag by something with claws are surprisingly high.

We’re kicking things off with one of the most infamous nights in park history—Glacier National Park, 1967—where two campers were killed by grizzlies just hours apart. Same night. Different campsites. No one saw it coming.

Then we head over to Yellowstone, where the bears aren’t the only thing trying to kill you. Turns out bison can launch you sky-high just for walking too close… and some tourists just never learn.

It’s the episode where your camping checklist should probably include a will.

This is True Terror on Tap. Bring snacks. Not fear. Actually, bring both.

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Last week, we uncovered a body with no name, a rare book with a torn page, and a strange code scribbled in pencil. Now, the phone number found in that book leads us straight to Jessica Thomson—a woman just blocks from the crime scene, who denies knowing the man but nearly collapses when she sees his face.

And decades later, her story only gets weirder.

We’ll dig into her wartime connection to Alf Boxall—who turned out to be alive—and the strange twist involving her son, Robin, a dancer with the same rare physical traits as the dead man. Was the Somerton Man his father?

Enter Professor Derek Abbott—an Australian physicist who falls deep into the case and ends up marrying Jessica’s granddaughter. What starts as an investigation turns into obsession, love, and a decades-long search for the truth.

From wartime secrets to tangled DNA—this one’s just heating up.

This is True Terror on Tap.

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In this episode, we go over the mysterious case of the Somerton Man—the unknown body found on an Australian beach in 1948 with no ID, no cause of death, and no signs of a struggle. Dressed sharp, staged like he sat down for a smoke and just… died. But the deeper investigators dug, the stranger it got.

A hidden pocket. A cipher no one’s ever cracked. A nurse who recognized him but swore she didn’t. And a torn piece of paper tucked in his pants that simply read: Tamám Shud.Was he a spy? A victim of Cold War assassination? Or something even stranger?

We break it all down—clues, autopsy, theories, and more. And this is just Part One.

So the next time you and your loved one decide to take a late night stroll on the sand… you might want to check who else is already there.

This is True Terror on Tap.

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Welcome to the Summer of Dread.

We’re back and it’s about to get real weird.

In this episode of True Terror on Tap, your hosts Joseph, Gabe, and RedBear crack open the first cold one of the season and dive straight into four stories that set the tone for a summer packed with terror, urban legends, and the bizarre.

We’re talking the Bunny Man of Virginia and his creepy-ass bridge, a mysterious case in Brazil where two men were found dead in lead masks with zero explanation, and the 1981 Phantom Clown Panic that had kids across America scared to go outside. You already know we’re gonna throw in side tangents, jokes, and speculation you didn’t ask for but need to hear anyway.

This is the kickoff to a full season of creepy episodes dropping all summer long—campfire-ready, road trip-approved, and always unfiltered.

So the next time you hear something in the woods, see a clown where one shouldn’t be, or find a note that makes no sense—you might want to turn around, grab a drink, and keep your damn flashlight on.

This is True Terror on Tap.

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We’re back, turt turt! 🐢

And what better way to kick things off than with a brand-new Turtle Island Talk.

In this episode, your hosts Joseph, Gabe, and RedBear catch up, talk trash cookies, Waffle House memories, and dive into some real stories from Native communities across Turtle Island. We’re talking about Canada’s $24 million investment into dementia care that actually centers Indigenous languages and traditions, the powerful mobile vet teams helping rez dogs and their humans in Oregon and beyond, and the disgusting veto by Oklahoma Governor Kevin Stitt that pulled funding from MMIP efforts. Yeah, we went there.

You’ll laugh, you’ll get mad, you’ll probably want to build a fence for a rez dog yourself. This one’s packed.

Hit play and catch up with us. We missed y’all.

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