When we are involved in intimate relationships, why do we still consume pornography? What are we hoping to achieve? Are we truly living out our fantasies when we hide our habit and lie to our partners? What purpose does it serve to continue watching porn? How does it influence the views and expectations of our relationships?

If you had the opportunity, what would you tell your past self about PORN and PORN ADDICTION? How does genuine curiosity play a role? What happens to my brain when it comes to visual stimuli? How does porn affect my expectations about sex? How much does porn contribute to the hurt and injustices of our world? Knowing the truth can greatly deter us from buying in to the fantasy.

**TRIGGER WARNING** - This episode may contain references to sexually explicit content and/or various forms of violence and abuse. Listener discretion is advised.

We talk a lot about RELAPSE, but what is a LAPSE? It is often defined as a situation or a scenario that puts you at a high risk of relapse. Some of these instances are avoidable while others have the potential to blindside us out of nowhere. Regardless of WHEN they happen, they can become valuable learning experiences that strengthen us in our ability to overcome.

What does it take to achieve long-term freedom from PORN? What type of tools should I have? How do I avoid becoming complacent? I share in this episode about the various internal changes I needed to make to be successful in my recovery.

For many years I gained experience using tools that helped me stay free from porn in the short term. In this episode I elaborate on which efforts were beneficial and which ones needed adjustment.

Collecting recovery tokens for clean time has been a common practice in a number of recovery circles. Are tokens a necessary part of getting free? How would it work in the scope of a PORN ADDICTION? If I relapse, am I really back at square one? Is consecutive clean time really the determining factor that measures my recovery progress?

Awareness and desire must be partnered with ATTITUDE in order to achieve long term freedom. In a porn habit we often become indifferent and apathetic about our lives in general because we feel defeated. Maintaining attitude simply involves our willingness to take the next step forward, whatever step that may be. Perhaps it is opening up to a trusted friend or attending a self-help meeting. Maybe it is setting specific, measurable goals for yourself or changing your daily routine. As you take the next step, your level of hope will increase.

Maintaining a DESIRE to end your porn habit is a foundational component for long term success. Is your motivation for change coming from an internal source or an external one? Here are some motivators that would help me stay on track....

One quick look is never enough.

I don’t want anymore images flooding my brain.

Consuming porn ruins leisure time/weekends/vacations.

God’s abundant grace is available for me to overcome this.

I feel more depressed after watching it.

My flesh and it’s desires are NOT the sum of who I am.

I don’t like feeling mentally and emotionally numb.

Carrying shame negates my ability to enjoy hobbies and quality time with others.

I don’t want to support sex trafficking and rape culture.

God helped me get free before, He can do it again!

What if your partner is the one with the porn habit? Is it wrong to feel betrayed? How do you make sense of it? Should you “check up” on your partner? If you are pondering these types of questions, it is CRUCIAL to have your own support system.

Relapse is often times part of the recovery journey. Don’t get discouraged. A relapse can be a great learning experience that reveals our blindspots. In this episode I share some steps I take when I’m at risk of a relapse, action steps that would help me stay accountable AFTER a relapse, and some motivators that help me stay on track even to this day!