After being secretive with my porn habit for over 5 years, I needed to seek healing for myself as well as healing in my marriage. These healings are not synonymous but they can compliment one another. Recognizing these healings as separate fronts helped me to see the level of commitment each of them required.

Self-pity does not produce holiness. It keeps us stuck in shame and depression. Romans 8:28 states

“And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.” God continues to work on us in the midst of our victories AND our defeats. There is nothing God can’t use for His glory.

1) Sporadic openness about our porn habit keeps us from moving forward in recovery - consistent accountability is crucial to success. 2) Being busy with activities distracts us from guilt but also keeps us from being sober minded and self-aware - we must forgive ourselves and learn from our mistakes. 3) Restricting our search settings and filters can help, but the victory we need over our porn habit lies within ourselves - we need to develop plans to avoid relapse altogether.

There was a time I thought my porn addiction was just a part of “who I am.” That belief brought me to two options: 1) Keep watching porn whenever I want and keep it a secret, or 2) watch porn sporadically and stay honest. Both of those options made me a hypocrite so I sought a third one: Hope for a MIRACLE.

Stigmas become attached to taboo topics like porn addiction. Often times we see men in denial of their porn habit, they wait too long to get help, and their behavior morphs into something worse. You don’t need to wait for earth-shattering consequences to know you have a problem. If you want to take steps to find freedom of your porn habit, check out the following resources below www.moralrevolution.com puredesire.org covenanteyes.com Also check out the podcast “Consider before Consuming” to hear an interview of Terry Crews and his personal account of overcoming his porn habit. (Episode 21)

Is religion the same thing as having an actual RELATIONSHIP with God?

When overcoming a porn habit, seeing a therapist can be an invaluable component of your support system.

Rationalizations tell us that there is nothing wrong with our porn habit and that our behavior is normal. These excuses are usually rooted in what our culture says about being a man. Do we really accept that men are terminally enslaved to there sexual appetites? Do we truly believe some women were MEANT to be exploited in the sex industry? (See my Instagram page “free_indeed_recovery” for more excuses and counterpoints)

When we JUSTIFY our porn habit we know our behavior is wrong, but convince ourselves it is excusable under specific circumstances. In 1 Corinthians 10:13, the apostle Paul explains that God provides an escape from temptation. If we are vigilant in seeing that escape, it then becomes a matter of OBEDIENCE.

Excuses for sinful behaviors keep us in a cycle of denial. For every excuse we make, there is a truth we neglect to embrace. Minimizing focuses on comparing behaviors instead of acknowledging what’s right. For this episode, see the following scripture references: Proverbs 23:17 and Matthew 5:27-28.