TRUSTED by your Teenager with Kristen Duke

When I read Melissa's story on Instagram, I was crossing my fingers that she'd be willing to share it on the podcast. I'm so grateful she said yes! I am ALSO grateful for her bravery, putting her story out there. WE all make mistakes. All of us parents have made parenting mistakes, we just don't get arrested for them like Melissa did, for doing something that a lot of us have done. 

As most of us would, she kept her story to herself for a while, until it all played out, and all was well. Fortunately, through her mistake, all was ok with her kids, but I know that isn't the case for everyone. 

Important reminders we discussed:

• Mistakes happen.
• Learn from them.
• Don't judge others.
• Give yourself some grace.
• Share your story.
• Dispel shame from mistakes.

After you listen, I'd love you to share on social media!

We also love reviews on iTunes.

Thank you for being a part of the Beyond Good Intentions community and please join us on Instagram at @CapturingJoy.KristenDuke

Find Melissa at @Melissa.PlainAndSimple 

When I realized I was going to make my 3000th post on Instagram today, I thought it was cause to celebrate, and share my gratitude with everyone who has made the choice of joining the community I've been sharing.

I started my instagram account 7 years ago, July 2011, as we were driving from Texas to California for a family vacation. I first thought it was just a photo editing app, then someone told me I could SHARE the images with my friends and I could see their pictures also...I LOVE THIS!  I'd already been family blogging for 5 years, and had my blogging "business" for a year at that point, so I pulled them all together on Instagram.

This episode, the day before Thanksgiving, is dedicated to gratitude...but in the hours before recording it, I felt grumpy, then I didn't want to talk about gratitude anymore. As I walked to dinner all sullen and somber, I told my family my quagmire, and my son Matthew pointed to the yellow sign behind me in our kitchen that says, "Whenever you get sad stop being sad and start being awesome."

So I thought I'd talk about my grumpy, that led to gratitude. I go into more detail on the below in this episode.

Head to the full show notes blog post for the downloadable Gratitude ABC's print.

Lisa has a heart that wants to share. I so appreciate that. She listened to me mentioning in a previous episode that people have a hard time sharing HARD THINGS in life, and that some listeners want to hear more about overcoming life's obstacles.

She reached out to me, and said she wants to share her story. She has had some hard things in life, and she really wanted to share about how she kept waiting for happiness to come, and decided she had to just be happy despite life's curveballs.

"When you beat yourself up, you paralyze yourself. You can't progress, improve, and move forward." That then prohibits you from being the parent you want to be. She shares an activity her therapist recommended about this, and I LOVE it!

You can't spend your life waiting for the next bad thing to happen...why be miserable?  She mentions putting trust in Gods plan, that we can't save our children from mistakes. 

How to Hug a Porcupine--Audio book she mentions

Games: Cash Flow // Ticket to Ride // Heads Up (phone app)

*If you loved this episode, please consider leaving a review on iTunes!

Ayo has lived all over the world, and is now traveling the world full time with her young family.  Even her name is evident of that, a Japanese Hispanic fusion. When we spoke, she was in Peru, and had just visited Machu Picchu the day before, which I had the opportunity to travel to last year, so that was fun to reminisce! 

She grew up partially in Tokyo, her husbands family is from Guatemala, and with their two young kids, they are based in the US during the summer for her husbands job, and this is their first year traveling throughout the "school year."

There is an ever so slight delay in our convo after I ask questions. At the beginning, I wondered if she didn't want to answer a question, or was hesitating, then I realized..."OH! I'm pretty sure there is a slight delay." But really, it's a pretty fabulously clear international chat we had!

A few parenting books she loves:

• Positive Parenting
• Parenting with Love
• Opting Out

Favorite quote for kids:

"Do the right thing, because it's the right thing."

Find Ayo and her family on Instagram at @TravelingOurRoots

My visit to Machu Picchu. 

Come chat on Instagram this week and share with Ayo what you loved about her interview! @CapturingJoy.KristenDuke

In this episode I share the 10 things I REALLY want my kids to know I'm passionate about. On my 40th bucket list I wanted to make a Legacy Video with things I hope my kids will know...do...and since I haven't made that yet, I thought this episode would do the trick until I do. Why wait until our death bed to share what is most important to us as their parents? I mean, I talk about these things now, too, but these are the 10 things I really want to STICK!

Help me build this community and share your ADVICE TO KIDS in the comments at @CatpuringJoy.KristenDuke on Instagram.

You know I also LOVE REVIEWS (and need them) on iTunes!!!

Welcome to episode #40!  Landmark Occasion, my friends.

I'm excited to introduce you to my new friend Tiffany. She is a fellow podcaster, and I found it recently, and I sure love to listen to she and her friend Allyson chat about life, and delve into hot topics! Make sure you check out The Sisterhood Podcast, and she'll share a bit more about it in the beginning of our chat, too. I knew I wanted to interview both of these ladies eventually, and Tiffany was up for it this week, we can look forward to hearing from Allyson at a later date.

I became intrigued with something Tiffany mentioned in their podcast, that she went to help her brother with his kids for a week. She explains how he is navigating single parenthood after his wife suddenly passed away. It was a sweet sentiment as she shared her love, concern, and service to her brother and his family in this challenging time.

If you're listening, we always love more review on iTunes, and when you SHARE with a tag or link on social media about the podcast, it makes all of the effort put into sharing this come back as a thank you. I DO appreciate it, and just grateful to have you on this journey with me!

A few links from our chat:

• The Sisterhood Podcast
• My 40th Birthday Celebration
• Beyond Good Intentions home page

Come chat with us on Instagram at @CapturingJoy.KristenDuke to share your favorite part of this conversation! #BeyondGoodIntentionsPodcast 

I'm super excited to share my awesome son Matthew with you all today. He is my second born child, and today he is SIXTEEN years old!  

I wish you could all REALLY know my Matthew. I often have adults who have been a teacher of his, or observed him and said, "that Matthew, he's pretty great." He is comfortable with adults, which tends to be rare with some teens. It warms my heart to see that others see in him what I do: His pure goodness. He's got a mind like a sponge, anxious to learn about life, inquisitive, thoughtful, introspective.

In our chat, we were pretty much all over the place, so bear with me! I thought about editing out some random questions/comments and lulls, but I just didn't want to. 

Here are a few links to things we talked about:

• Our Guest Room
• My Boys Room
• Amazing You book
• Macaroni Sausage Dinner
• Family Pictures
• Early Morning Seminary

We'd love an itunes review if you have something to say! Do you love this podcast? This episode? Another episode? Please share! Leaving a review on itunes helps us SOOOO much!

You'll have to listen through the end to see why "Be Cool" is the main rule at the Brooks household. I kinda love it! Aly is a dear friend of mine, and you'll hear us chat about how we met a few years ago in the first few minutes of the podcast. We talk about her new business venture in the beginning, which is helping moms with starting or building small businesses, in Mind Your Own Business Mom. 

After those intros, she nervously mentions that there were some hard things in her growing up life. I really appreciate her candid-ness in sharing this, because I hear from a lot of people that they want to hear about the "not so perfect" families, but let me tell you, A LOT OF PEOPLE DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT! 

If you know someone that has a HARD story, but they are willing to share to benefit others, I'd love you to nominate them!

Aly talks about how she has developed closeness with her kids, even as they enter the teen years. Rather than look at the behavior, look at the root of what's going on. She gets emotional as she talks about becoming an advocate for your kids, and building them up despite their challenges...from suffering to compassion.

We talk about social media, video games, and being a mean mom sometimes!

Come chat with us about this episode at @CapturingJoy.KristenDuke on Instagram 

Stephanie from @Nutrition.Redefined is spreading a message that ALL women need to hear: STOP OBSESSING ABOUT YOUR BODIES...more specifically, what we eat and trying to get to a certain weight.

She talks a lot about intuitive eating, and how we need to better model for our children how to be healthy, but more importantly, being happy with ourselves so that we can live a happier life. 

You may identify with me and all of my questions, confusion, clarification, and Stephanie was so patient with me!

Come on over to Instagram and chat with us about this episode at @CapturingJoy.KristenDuke 

Did the title grab your attention? I hope so! This topic is VERY important to talk about, and I'm extremely grateful my friend Rhonda reached out to me, because I wasn't quite sure how I as going to incorporate this discussion into an everyday parenting chat here on the podcast. Not everyone is comfortable with this conversation, but we NEED TO BE, if only for our kids sake.

We cannot be embarrassed.

We cannot avoid the topic.

We cannot wait until they come to us with questions.

We need to bring up these topics to our kids. 

Rhonda is a certified life coach who councils married women who have a negative association with intimacy. Often from a shame based experience from their childhood. When we spoke about how we would present this to the Beyond Good Intentions audience, I asked her if we could approach it from a point-of-view of teaching our kids about sex when they are young with love and not fear, so that they don't struggle with it as adults.

Download her free guide: How to teach your child about sex without shame or embarrassment. You can also find her at @CoachWithRhonda on IG or Facebook.

For more show notes and links to the books we spoke about, head to the Beyond Good Intentions main page and click to episode #36 for that extra info.

As always, head to CapturingJoy.KristenDuke on instagram to weigh in and share your thoughts! How were you raised? How are you raising your children, is it hard for you to talk about intimacy with them?