TRUSTED by your Teenager with Kristen Duke

Did the title grab your attention? I hope so! This topic is VERY important to talk about, and I'm extremely grateful my friend Rhonda reached out to me, because I wasn't quite sure how I as going to incorporate this discussion into an everyday parenting chat here on the podcast. Not everyone is comfortable with this conversation, but we NEED TO BE, if only for our kids sake.

We cannot be embarrassed.

We cannot avoid the topic.

We cannot wait until they come to us with questions.

We need to bring up these topics to our kids. 

Rhonda is a certified life coach who councils married women who have a negative association with intimacy. Often from a shame based experience from their childhood. When we spoke about how we would present this to the Beyond Good Intentions audience, I asked her if we could approach it from a point-of-view of teaching our kids about sex when they are young with love and not fear, so that they don't struggle with it as adults.

Download her free guide: How to teach your child about sex without shame or embarrassment. You can also find her at @CoachWithRhonda on IG or Facebook.

For more show notes and links to the books we spoke about, head to the Beyond Good Intentions main page and click to episode #36 for that extra info.

As always, head to CapturingJoy.KristenDuke on instagram to weigh in and share your thoughts! How were you raised? How are you raising your children, is it hard for you to talk about intimacy with them?

Ralphie has spent the last several years doing intensive research on positive parenting, and now shares her knowledge with parents thirsty for the information. 

My two favorite parts of our conversation were when I asked how we know if our kids are "entitled" and I LOVED her answer. Another part I loved was when she spoke about making the SWITCH to positive parenting when her oldest was 10, which tells me...we don't have to have it all figured out from the beginning!

I loved talking about family cultures, and so many other tidbits. After you listen, I hope you'll share in the continued discussion on my Instagram @CapturingJoy.KristenDuke Be sure to also check out Ralphie at @SimplyOnPurpose. 

As always the full show notes with links will be at the Beyond Good Intentions homepage on KristenDuke.com

Make sure you check out the details at the end of the episode about the content we are running the next week!

As with all of my interviews, we talked about EVERYTHING parenting, but the overarching thought I had when I finished my interview with Brooke is that I need to take charge of the technology: in my home, and be an advocate for my kids in their schools. 

Brooke is a successful writer and shares often on her website BrookeRomney.com and recently had an article published in The Washington Post titled, "U.S. Students need a cell phone detox."

During our convo, I felt grateful for the new phone rule at my kids middle school, and happy for her that her advocacy made a difference in her kids school. Don't be afraid to go in and talk to the administrators if you don't like what's going on! 

Please hop on over to Instagram and share your insights, thoughts, questions, "ah-ha" moments! @CapturingJoy.KristenDuke is where we will be chatting! 

You can also leave a review on iTunes if you love this podcast, share it with your friends, have a parenting podcast CLUB discussion! The more you chat about what you want to do, the more likely you'll do it.

You can also find Brooke on Instagram @BrookeRomneyWrites

Jason is a father to 7, co-parenting with 3 households. He wears many hats, including hosting his own podcast. We chat about when he interviewed me, as well as his other jobs, mainly as father.

"Adjust while staying SOLID to core principles." This is the insight I really loved when Jason described parenting teens. Flexibility, all parents have to have it!

Sometimes, you have to go deeper than "because I said so." Explaining the WHY you feel so passionately is important not just in a co-parenting situation, but important in life anyway, if we want our kids to really understand WHY we have the rules that we have. 

Of course we talked about technology, including phones in a cupboard, UNPLUGGING, and turning off Notifications.

A few favorite quotes from our chat:

• Begin with the end in mind.
• Are you helping the problem or adding to the problem?
• There's no situation so bad that complaining about it won't make it worse. 
• Men often have the same self doubt struggles as women, but will exhibit different behaviors to cover it. 
• Help your husband be a better dad by noticing and complimenting when he does something great.

Head to @CapturingJoy.KristenDuke on Instagram to give Jason some love and share your insights from this episode.

Search: Help Me Understand the Book of Mormon on iTunes for Jason's podcast.

I'm so delighted to have Becky Higgins on the podcast, sharing how she grew up and raising her family now.  Becky has a fabulous enthusiasm for life, that I believe is contagious, and it shines through in our conversation. She is a working mom who has built an empire out of her passion for helping others to cultivate a good life and record it.

I've admired her for a long time (as you'll hear right from the start) and having this chat with her made me love her even more. I just know you'll feel the same. 

We talked about her growing up in a small town, what her parents did that built her self esteem, and choosing friends in high school. I also had so many questions about her thoughts on being a working mom, something I've grappled with myself throughout my life, and even touched on how she met her husband, which I then told her about my 30 chapter love story I've typed out.

Favorite quotes:

"Kindness Always Wins"

"The purpose of the task is to strengthen the relationship."

"If you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything at all."

I probably asked more questions than the average person might about her business, and we may have veered off on a few tangents, but I truly do feel like she and I are kindred spirits, and I just know you all will adore her by the end of our conversation, too. She is a storyteller, and I LOVE it! 

We talk about my August value of the month: KINDNESS! If you aren't already following along on my Instagram account, I decided I wanted MORE parenting discussions and I want to hear from all of YOU, as well! Follow along at @CapturingJoy.KristenDuke or Search the hashtag #IntentionalParentingProject to weigh in on the month themes and share your input as well! Come on over to my Instagram and give Becky some LOVE and tell her what stuck out to you from our conversation that you hope to implement in your family. 

You asked, we deliver, love hearing from more teens! Katie just graduated from high school, and as she embarks on college life, she reflects back on how she was able to cultivate a great relationship with her parents, which I think is excellent insight for any parent out there! 

From social media to choosing friends to the birds and the bee's talk with her parents, we cover the whole gamut, and I know that both teens and adults will love what she has to say. 

Here are a few of my favorite quotes from our chat:

"No amount of validation on social media will measure up to what happens in the real world."

"Seek to understand before you're understood."

"Hearing adults challenges brings me hope, it's a success story, because they made it through!"

"Teens: Cultivate self confidence."

Please head on over to Instagram: @CapturingJoy.KristenDuke to give Katie some love and tell her your favorite parts of the discussion. 

You can also head on over to the Beyond Good Intentions home page to see pictures of Katie from the past to present!

I am so delighted that Jenny agreed to do an interview with me for this podcast: Beyond Good Intentions. She shares incredible stories about creative mothering through hard times, and now being a traveling grandmother.

When she told me about making matching clothes for her kids for family pictures, she became my newest soul sister! She had no way of knowing how much I love taking family pictures, but I just loved this about her. Head to her podcast full show notes on my website KristenDuke.com 

If you are new to this podcast, I encourage you to scroll through the other titles, and also read the summaries. Choosing to sum up a life in just a few words for a title has proven to be VERY challenging for me!  I truly believe there is something for everyone in each episode. 

To see pictures and full show notes of this interview, head here: Jenny Doan Interview. 

Our conversation was filled with so many fabulous nuggets, here are just a few to look forward to when you listen:

• How she dealt with kids fighting
• Her spin on "filling our buckets"
• How she learned to sew as a pre-teen
• What she FIRST thought about quilting
• What her dad smelled like after work
• Mailing notes to her grandkids (I told her about my free printable jokes to help!)
• Dating your spouse
• Creative "fun mom" ideas
• Why someone chewed her out
• How her company started after an intimidation of hers
• Selflessly expanding their family through adoption

A few favorite quotes:

"If you can't get along in your living room, how will you get along in the world?"

"You love the people you serve."

"I remember the year I realized I couldn't do everything."

"You can't always have your bucket full, but sometimes you just need to fill a little cup."

"They're so empty that they are reacting instead of acting."

"Nothing compares to the heartache of parenting adult children, because you can't fix it and make it all better."

"When you make a quilt, that outlives you. It becomes a treasured piece of art."

Continue the discussion and share your favorite part on Instagram: @CapturingJoy.KristenDuke

I LOVE the mission that Tiffany and Keirstyn are on, and I'm so grateful they are willing to share their stories.

They are out to bless the world, and free victims from broken-ness in relationship trauma. It's a brave journey they are taking, and I whole heartedly commend them! They want to help people become better, and I'm very happy to help spread their message with all of you.

I believe in marriage, in working through issues, in forgiveness, but when it comes to abuse, I fully support the victims getting out. They talk about the shame, but they want the world to know that you don't have to be perfect to be loved. 

These ladies talk a lot about what we can do NOW as we are raising our children, to help them feel their own individual worth, and I was EATING IT UP!

"It's not enough that we are saying uplifting things to our kids, they have to say it to themselves." 

I just hope and pray that the words of these ladies will bless others, and if you know someone that would benefit from hearing their stories, PLEASE share this episode with them.

Please see the links in the show notes to find them on their website, social media, join their forum, check out the workshops and resources they have to offer at TheRelationshipRecovery.com 

I would love you to join me over on instagram: @CapturingJoy.KristenDuke to discuss this episode, and give Tiffany and Kierstyn some LOVE and THANK THEM for sharing their story! Share on instagram what tidbit you are taking home.

Sherri shares right from the start that she has a passion for helping teenagers and young adults to find a path that will lead to fulfillment in life. She runs Imagine College Coaching, a website and services that helps guide her passion.

She shares about growing up in a small East Texas town, in an area that was not prioritizing college/education, and she had to figure out a lot all on her own.

She discusses the 4 points of balance, which are tools to get out of a pit. She also talks a lot about self motivation, and also the comparison game that comes from social media of not measuring up.

"If you want to do something or be something, in America, there is a way to make it happen."

"Parenting is the greatest privilege I've ever been given. Open communication is the most valuable. I want to be a safe place.  Share your failures and your kids will be more open to share theirs."

"Give them salt and make them thirsty. Help kids to be thirsty to have a zest for life."

We talked about a video I made that aligns with her focus: Treating Teens with Respect

I knew before I recorded my conversation with Jennifer that it would go over my 1 hour intended goal for each episode. I've watched her raise her family for nearly 16 years, weather life's storms, and I knew she would have so many great things to share. 

Her youngest of 6 kids just graduated high school, and she now also has 4 small grandchildren from her older kids, and she has so much wisdom and perspective. As you can see from the title, she is also a widow, and we discuss her husband passing away 8 years ago, and how she has parented before and after that time. 

Yes, she is a widowed mom, but she is so much more than that. She talks about how her life's experiences have blessed her to be less judgemental and love more, and can't we all do that a little bit more? I loved hearing about her growing up in an unconventional parenting situation with a corporate working mom, cop dad, and full time Nanny Maria from across the boarder. 

She is someone that I've always seen as an intentional mother, and to watch the beautiful relationship she has with her adult children, it is truly something to aspire to. Without further delay, enjoy my chat with Jennifer.

After you've listened, head on over to the Beyond Good Intentions homepage to peruse more episodes, and see pictures of Jennifer and her family on her episode web page.

I'd love for you to hop on over to instagram {CapturingJoy.KristenDuke} and tell Jennifer and myself the parts of our chat that stuck out to you most, that you hope to implement.