Hey you
When you call out a greater version of You to express Itself as your life there must be a shedding of the old self.
This may very well feel as if an actual Death is taking place.
Breathe.
Yes, all of your previous work has helped you. It was not a waste. You are supposed to change. In fact, it may hurt way worse trying to hold onto something or some way of being that you have outgrown.
We are made to transform continuously.
Please take a moment to yourself and listen in. This episode was recorded after processing, thanks to God alone, one of the most excruciating weeks. I died last week. I believed all of the work I've done was absolute shit. These old thought bodies swarmed my being. Like nagging mosquitos. I have not felt so utterly powerless in a very long time. My body was telling me to die. Literally. Just kill me already. I was latching on to old belief systems and ways of responding in a highly limiting fashion. This way of poor thinking is something that I used to use for myself to cope with trauma. I would put myself down and blame myself for all of the hurt around me. I would take all of this preconceived weight of the world and claim it. Or try to.
Well, for f$%%$ sake. Of course the body would want to die. I was mentally fueling it with garbage.
Whenever we take on a story of blame and victimhood the body begins to feel awful. It is so far from what we truly are which is the Presence of God. However, We have the freewill as sovereign beings to choose what follows the statement.... I AM.......... and whatever is used as the personality thereafter will determine the level of freedom the human experiences.
Quick update: I am now beginning to share some of the body movement and prayer flows I've been incorporating into my practice. Brooke Louise on youtube. The videos are called ANONAME. Feel free to drop a comment and let me know what you've been using yourself to work through these growing pains.
I LOVE YOU!
Stay sharp x