Oh hello, SaysWhovia. We were just bleaching everything. Sit down here, on this nice clean seat. We boiled it.

Yes, you know what we’re talking about—the coronavirus. It’s the most popular microbe around. We don’t want to freak anyone out, except maybe the entire Trump administration who do not seem to be aware that it is happening. Which is why they all went to CPAC and coughed all over each other and now the most hilarious quarantine of all time is happening. Imagine not being able to touch Ted Cruz for fourteen days. Great, isn’t it?

Of course, there is still an election, which means that two shoe sisters are at odds with one another. Whose balls are lower? Stretchier? How can we find out?

In any case, everything is safe here in SaysWhovia. We’ve never touched Ted Cruz.

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