Maureen is sick. Just a little sick! Dan wants her to back to bed, but Maureen has too many stories to tell…stories of princes, Lords of Darkness,  arcane rituals, and houses that cost a single peppercorn.  The UK is full of intrigue!

Meanwhile, it’s all pizza and beer and war over in the US. Why can’t we get a magical house for a single peppercorn or have a prince that’s called the c***?

Get cozy under this blanket, SaysWhovia. It’s story time!

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It’s Maureen’s birthday week! She’s spending it in her signature style—walking maybe too far, biting off more than she can chew, and organizing her notebooks. 

Meanwhile, Dan has been enjoying a little summery weather in the middle of the cold winter. While he was out, he heard a story. He wants to share it with Maureen, because Maureen loves stories. And dogs. Maureen loves dogs. And so, apparently, does Pam Bondi.

Also, these aren't bright people and things got out of hand.

Quick, get the balloons, SaysWhovia!

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Dan and Maureen are easing into February with clear heads and warm hearts. It’s basically still New Year’s, so Maureen is talking planners! But in an okay way. She really has a grip on it now. The problem, actually—or the subject—is ducks, and their organization. Sometimes, you just have too many!

Speaking of too many—there are too many Epstein files and too many terrible things in them, but in some places, like the UK, they matter! And things are happening. Lots of things. Lots of things are still happening in Minneapolis as well—and in other places.

But never mind all of that! Trump is mad about the Super Bowl.

Gather ye ducks, SaysWhovia. Gather ye ducks!

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So it turns out Maureen has been collecting rocks all this time.

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SaysWhovia! We are back. Well, Dan has been here all along suffering through *waves hands in all directions* with the rest of you. But Maureen? Maureen has been away! Offline! Disconnected! And she's made a big mistake: 

She came back. 

Welcome to hell.

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2026 has arrived on the stage with a lot to prove. Thirteen days in, Dan and Maureen try to parse it all, and they have an idea: bear holes.

Get digging, SaysWhovia.

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Welcome to 2026?

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It's the end of the year and Maureen has some things to say. 

Happy New Year?

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This week, as 2025 draws to a close after an astonishing 11 month run, Dan and Maureen find themselves the holiday spirit. Maureen has a great big mug from the SaysWho shop that she can barely lift. That’s because she hasn’t been working out in the new airport gyms. She needs to do her pull-ups! Yes, the powers that be are closing out 2025—not by bringing peace or prosperity or health care—but by telling Americans we are disgusting and have to dress nicer on planes. And work out more at the gate. Sure, why not.

But sometimes, people on planes are disgusting.

Now put on a hat and get on that treadmill, SaysWhovia. We have a flight to catch.

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This week, Maureen and Dan had to record on Monday, so whatever weird stuff happened on Tuesday, they don’t know about. Don’t tell them. No spoilers.

Because this episode is about wonderful things. Maureen has a magical encounter with a SaysWhovian. Dan’s wonderful holiday stockings are flying off the virtual shelves. Books are good! And New York City emerges once again as the best city in the world, because NYC showed up when ICE tried to come to play and caged them in a parking lot. With the garbage bags that Dan is always complaining about. It’s the redemption arc, and we’re all here for it.

Plus: capitalism! And war? (?????) Again, no spoilers!

Grab that trash, SaysWhovia. Let’s go fight fascism.
 

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