HE’S ALIVE!

Sort of!

Technically???

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Whoa! Dan can’t believe that it’s September! He has no idea where is in time! That’s okay. Maureen will help. These pictures of RFK and Vance chowing down on sauerkraut while Marco Rubio lurks in the background will help ground him. Probably. For sure all this Trump ballroom and arch talk will help. There’s so many details! Such thick stuff!

Dan does not feel better.

Get your dancing shoes on, SaysWhovia. We’re going to a ball.

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Welcome to September, SaysWhovia! What a fall we are about to have. FALL IS RIGHT, right? And new war just dropped—this time, Canada! Sure. Why not.

But Dan and Maureen are here to talk about coping. About protecting your mind and body and this time. This includes teeth, which cannot be trusted.

It’s happening, so we’ll do it together, eh?

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Dan and Maureen are back and ready to rocket into the autumn of 2026! It’s been a spicy summer, and it’s we’re going into a fall that will break the Scoville scale. In the meantime, let’s catch up and hear about the totally normal and not at all weird person who follows Trump around with a printer in a backpack and feels normal things for him.

We’re in this together, SaysWhovia.

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Maureen has been alone for ten days with an orbital sander and a dream—a dream of a thing she thought would be easy and fun and take a few days. That is not how this went down. She needs to talk to Dan about it. Failure is fun! And important! And definitely what is happening right now! Dan is not surprised.

Meanwhile, no one knows if Mitch McConnell is even alive, so who cares if Maureen can’t refinish furniture? Well, she CAN, just not in the way she hoped. Was she part of the crew who worked on the Reflecting Pool? Seems like it! Oh, and RFK is saying things about COVID that would cause rocks to scream.

It’s okay to mess up, SaysWhovia. It’s how we learn. Just keep going. Change nothing. Continue down the path. Dig deeper. There’s treasure in there somewhere. There just HAS to be.

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We’re back! Dan’s in California, going to Disney and living his best life under an orange tree. Maureen has been left to her own devices for ten days and bought a bunch of power tools. Time to think about the Big Picture—living right, climate change, does the Senate even matter, and how many times you should ride Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride.

It’s summer 2026. Time to do what feels right, SaysWhovia.

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Dan and Maureen are back! Well, to SaysWhovia. Maureen is in NYC. Dan is dragging a metal house across America and is a little nervous about it. Obviously, this week we’re going to talk about Which Senators Are Dead—a creepy new game that’s more challenging than it appears.

We missed so many things on this year’s SHOES card.

Come over here, SaysWhovia. Prove you’re alive.

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The Fourth of July, and America's 250th birthday, is this week and the vibes are off. 

But it's OK because a good old fashioned state fair has set up in the nation's capital and it's going just great.

Plus: pretty soon someone's launching nearly a million firework shells. 

Nothing can stop us now.

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Well, obviously Dan and Maureen are going to talk about the reflecting pool. Obviously. But also! RFK has pockets full of sauerkraut, we tried to invade Greenland for Red Lobster, and Maureen spills on a secret she’s been keeping for MONTHS!

Just put your suit on, SaysWhovia. And maybe some protective gear. We’re going swimming.

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What’s that feeling in the air? It’s patriotism! We’re celebrating 250 years of whatever this is the way our wacky founding fathers would have wanted—turning the reflecting pool green, wrapping the Kennedy Center in a tarp, and having a cage match on the White House lawn. But it’s not even our nation’s birthday yet! It’s just a Big Boy’s Birthday and we’re getting some fun in early to celebrate our favorite guy. Algae, coverups, and blood spit. Hooray!

To celebrate at home, Maureen cleaned some fans and made soup. She’s smiling at Dan, which is making Dan nervous. There is no need to be nervous, Dan. Maureen is just happy to be here at such a wonderful time.

Get your party hats on, SaysWhovia. Celebrations are mandatory.

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