Says Who?

It's been a week, Sayswhovia.

A.

Week.

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SaysWhovia, some weeks come with too much filling. The news oozes out and gets all over your clothes. This was such a week. And like two people unwittingly and unwillingly taking place in a restaurant challenge, Dan and Maureen have to eat the whole thing. Where to start? The end of non-censored comedy and commentary? Openly listing crimes on social media? Handfuls of cash? A creepy love story? Complaining about escalators at the UN while telling all the other countries they suck? Claiming babies are being jacked with buckets of random substances? Trump trying to say the word “acetaminophen”?

How do you eat something like that? One disgusting bite at a time.

Get the Tums ready, SaysWhovia. We’re going home with that commemorative plate.

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OK yes that thing happened, you know the one. But did you hear about the scuba diver thief at Disney World????

Maureen has a book out, awful news happened, and $10k is missing from a paddleboat in Disney Springs. 

This certainly sounds like an episode of Says Who, doesn't it.

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Nine years ago Maureen and Dan sat down to record an eight episode podcast. Mistakes were made.

Here they are, 395 episodes later, while Maureen is in the midst of finishing yet another book, to talk about... whatever fresh hell we all find ourselves in.

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

We know why you came this week, and we are here to deliver.
 

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Dan and Maureen are back! Well, Maureen is still where she was and Dan is still not home, but they are back in SaysWhovia at the end of Dan’s Very Bad, No Good Summer. Dan needs a nap and a hug. He has stories from the American road, though. Have you heard about the vast cotton fields of Utah?

Meanwhile, two of his favorite things: the postal system and Chicago are being threatened. New York did a fun thing! Which is nice, because New York is probably about to do some much less fun things in the coming weeks. It’s going to be a weird time in Chicago and New York. Which city will win?

Get in line at the breakfast buffet, SaysWhovia. It’s going to be a long trip. Eat up.
 

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Sometimes you find a mace on the road, SaysWhovia. 

It’s 2025. Pick it up.

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SaysWhovia, Dan needs a hug. Maureen, however, is fine and has the receipts to prove it. Everything is very normal and very cool with her. Also, with Trump, who is on the roof of the White House for very normal reasons. Also, we’re going to build a nuclear reactor on the moon! Which is like the roof of the earth, if you think about it long enough. Everything is going up, up, up! Except for Dan’s current timeline, which is why we are all going to give him a hug.

Get a blanket, SaysWhovia. It’s roof time.

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Maureen is back from the green, green fields of England and has brought a whole new outlook! She saw a cow. Everything is better now. But she did have to explain America to a lot of English people, which was tricky. It’s all about the rollercoasters. Meanwhile, Dan has been holding down the fort. He’s fine. He’s great! He wants to talk to Maureen about soccer, because anything is better than dealing 2025. It’s the Says Who Summer Vacation Experience.

Hold on to the safety bar, SaysWhovia. No one has safety checked this ride.
 

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This week, Maureen is in England, where not everything is terrible. There’s tea at four. Birds are singing in the trees. A gentle breeze blows through the air. No one is being fed to alligators. Dan is in the Bad Place still, and wants Maureen to know what has been going on. Everyone is looking for the Epstein files. Trump can dismantle the government, and also, he stole a trophy! Maureen should stay where she is, feeding Marmite sandwiches to ponies.

Have a cup of tea, SaysWhovia. Things, as Maureen points out, are only getting started.

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho