We know why you came this week, and we are here to deliver.
 

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Dan and Maureen are back! Well, Maureen is still where she was and Dan is still not home, but they are back in SaysWhovia at the end of Dan’s Very Bad, No Good Summer. Dan needs a nap and a hug. He has stories from the American road, though. Have you heard about the vast cotton fields of Utah?

Meanwhile, two of his favorite things: the postal system and Chicago are being threatened. New York did a fun thing! Which is nice, because New York is probably about to do some much less fun things in the coming weeks. It’s going to be a weird time in Chicago and New York. Which city will win?

Get in line at the breakfast buffet, SaysWhovia. It’s going to be a long trip. Eat up.
 

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Sometimes you find a mace on the road, SaysWhovia. 

It’s 2025. Pick it up.

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SaysWhovia, Dan needs a hug. Maureen, however, is fine and has the receipts to prove it. Everything is very normal and very cool with her. Also, with Trump, who is on the roof of the White House for very normal reasons. Also, we’re going to build a nuclear reactor on the moon! Which is like the roof of the earth, if you think about it long enough. Everything is going up, up, up! Except for Dan’s current timeline, which is why we are all going to give him a hug.

Get a blanket, SaysWhovia. It’s roof time.

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Maureen is back from the green, green fields of England and has brought a whole new outlook! She saw a cow. Everything is better now. But she did have to explain America to a lot of English people, which was tricky. It’s all about the rollercoasters. Meanwhile, Dan has been holding down the fort. He’s fine. He’s great! He wants to talk to Maureen about soccer, because anything is better than dealing 2025. It’s the Says Who Summer Vacation Experience.

Hold on to the safety bar, SaysWhovia. No one has safety checked this ride.
 

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This week, Maureen is in England, where not everything is terrible. There’s tea at four. Birds are singing in the trees. A gentle breeze blows through the air. No one is being fed to alligators. Dan is in the Bad Place still, and wants Maureen to know what has been going on. Everyone is looking for the Epstein files. Trump can dismantle the government, and also, he stole a trophy! Maureen should stay where she is, feeding Marmite sandwiches to ponies.

Have a cup of tea, SaysWhovia. Things, as Maureen points out, are only getting started.

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Hey Sayswhovia! It is hot and it is bad and Maureen and Dan are here to help (???) you through it. 

And hey, as bad as things are, at least you're not Dan, whose teeth keep falling out. 

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Welcome back to regular Says Who service as Dan’s schedule starts to regulate. 

And good things are happening! Maureen is sewing and making froyo. Dan and Son of Dan made a video game controller out of garbage! That’s great! 

And there’s a bill! A big, monster of a bill, slouching toward the House. Trump and Elon are fighting again, and we finally made our first concentration camp. USA!

So let’s talk about demons, tiny crocheted babies, and a hot new show that’s going to change everything.

Please take your seats, Says Whovia. Our flight to nowhere is about to take off, but we are on it together.

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It sure is hot out there, SaysWhovia. 

Especially in NYC, where Maureen has been out voting. Dan has thoughts on this, because he always has thoughts on New York and the mayor situation. This all turns out to be about sandwiches. Also, war! Maureen makes dog food!

Wear sunscreen, SaysWhovia. Conditions are warming up.

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Dan had a genuinely rough week, SaysWhovia. We’re going to have a relaxing episode with some pudding and a nice parade. A big parade. Huge. And maybe an old friend will come and sing us a song.

Let’s take care of each other, SaysWhovia, and let’s have some pudding.

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