Two Boys in a Balcony

She don't like she don't like she don't like... the podcast! Welcome back one and all to the podcast that never ends cause it's riding high on ten tons of rowdy powder! We're not making beignets in the balcony and that ain't powdered sugar, my friend. We watched the 2001 pre-9/11 coke fueled biopic Blow starring America's favorite scumbag, John Depp! It's a wild one, ladies and gentlemen! So wild that Sean forgot to listen back to take all the times he got up to go to the bathroom. Maybe there's none! Maybe there's 10! Only you can find out. Blow starts out in our own backyard and takes on a globe trotting journey to upwards of THREE countries! This is an old Bill favorite but a young Sean discovery! It's a fun movie about the absolute scum of the earth! Blow stars an asshole who hit his wife with a phone, Pee-Wee Herman, Penelope Cruz, and the sweet baby blues of one mister Ray Liotta!

Siri, turn on extreme Dave Matthews voice

DON'T DRINK THE WATER DON'T DRINK THE WATER DON'T DRINK THE WATER

Today in the Balcony, the boys dare ask, "what's so civil about action anyway?" It's the 1998 snoozer A Civil Action and it's so boring to write about that I daresay I just won't do it. FUN EPISODE THOUGH! Lots of jokes!

A Civil Action stars Danny Zuko and Tony Soprano.

Oh folks! It's Wednesday which means it's time for the Balcony Boys to be your cinematic guide to the films of New England and if you can believe it, we've got a movie that's harder to find than I am the Cheese! They must be keeping this thing in a friggin BRINKS VAULT cause it's impossible to find a copy of William Friedkin's the BRINKS JOB! Fire up your Dutch television transfers illegally uploaded to youtube and watch the film the way the director intended... on your phone with subtitles and a European television station identifier hiding in the corner like a translucent ghost. This is an episode and though we joke around a lot, this was the one where Bill almost broke Sean! Do you like Ray Lamontague? Do you not like Ray Lamontague? Well you're in luck because during our special Lamontague corner, all two viewpoints are represented. How many times is the right time to walk through an entire heist? The Brinks Job would suggest three! The Brinks Job stars Columbo, Young Frankenstein, Mira Sorvino's dad Paul Sorvino, and a bunch of other people whose efforts Bryan Singer would rip off for the Usual Suspects. Goodbye.

Happy New Year! We hear in Balconyville have been busy returning all the Christmas presents you got us for that sweet, sweet cash and/or store credit because your gifts aren't cool. You know what's cool? $13 to the Paper Store. Guys, it's the Social Network, a film so good Sean Sullivan called it the best movie of the 2010s and a movie so good Bill thought it was directed by David Lynch. He's so stupid. If he wants me to stop saying it, maybe he should write the intros for the episodes. In honor of Aaron Sorkin, the boys did this talk on the walk... on a couple of treadmills! We recorded this episode live at a Curves fitness center and boy howdy did they ask us to leave immediately. It's 2020! Get woke, Curves! The Social Network stars Not Michael Cera, No Longer Spider-Man, and the dude from Trolls!

You're dreaming of an episode of Two Boys in a Balcony about White Christmas! Just like the ones you heard before! Where America's Dumbest Film Critics and a cast of dead mid century entertainers, break down the Christmas classic, White Christmas! Warning: there is no blackface in this movie. That's a different movie. It's White Christmas! Sorry I'm in the middle of unwrapping a new episode of your favorite podcast for you! White Christmas stars ghosts!

Today, dear friends, we complete our Winona Ryder hat trick with 1994's Little Women. Can Sean keep focused? Could Bill take Ken Burns in a fight? Do we restart this episode 17 times? No, no, and no! It was 18 times. I'm gonna be honest guys I'm not really feeling this ep description so I'm just going to say this: listen, rate, review, subscribe, burn your sister's manuscript, rail against marriage, and then get engaged in the final seconds of the movie. Little Women stars Winona Ryder, Susan Sarandon, Hermione Granger, Lady Bird, Claire Danes, Kirsten Dunst, the girl from Midsommar, Christian Bale, and TIMOTHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE CHALAMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEET

We finally did it, folks! We finally watched a movie that people wanted us to talk about! It's the 2003 Boston Shakespearean tragedy, Mystic River from the mumbliest director in the old west, Ol' Blue Eyes himself, Mayor of the city that never sleeps, Clinton Eastwood. Is this movie funny? NOT AT ALL. Is this episode funny? What'd you crack your head, kid? Course it's funny. You're with the Balcony boys. Did Bill watch Mystic Pizza instead of Mystic River? Only time will tell. So come along as we dip our toes into a body of water you should never dip your toes into! Mystic River stars Isthatmydaugh Terinthere and the Savage Brothers, Fred and Corey Matthews.

Attention Black Friday shoppers, there's a sale on.... your hearts! The Balcony Boys grabbed a cup of hot cocoa, dumped out the cocoa, filled it up with love, drank it, and then sat down to discuss their top 5 Christmas movies of all time! It's a Christmas miracle wherein they only overlapped twice probably but maybe three or four times! Who cares! It's the holiday season and loop de loop and dickory dock, don't forget to hang up your sock and also download this quick little shot of seasonal pick-me-up what does that sentence even say. God Bless America and God Bless the United States of America and God Ble

It's a brazzle dazzle day today in the Balcony so let us be your candle on the water and steer you toward a third song title from today's masterpiece Pete's Dragon from 1977. With the launch of Disney+, the Balcony Boys take a deep dive into Passamaquody Harbor and break down the legality of orphan purchasing and dragon keeping. Who do you call when an invisible dragon fucks up your fence? Do you know? Cause I spent a lot of money putting that fence in and late one night when I was coming home from a hard night of drinking with my friends in the lighthouse game, an invisible dragon threw me and my car right through it. There's no other explanation and like a good neighbor, State Farm won't believe me until I have proof. Pete's Dragon stars all your favorite stars of the 30s, 40s, 50s, and today!

Oh Captain, my captain... get off your damn desk and get your ass up into the Balcony as the boys discover and rediscover the 30th anniversary of the stuffy boarding school drama Dead Poets Society. Guys, is poetry fun? Was that question grammatically correct? Who knows? Who cares? Carpe Diem or whatever. Put on your Hogwarts robes and sneak off to the Indian cave cause friends, we gots some living to do. What's your favorite poem? Is it the one about the escaped prisoner with the hook hand who sneaks up to Lover's Lane? My favorite poem is this podcast. I genuinely fear for my mental health with each additional word I add to this episode description. Rate, Review, Subscribe, Carpe, and Diem. Dead Poets Society stars the Genie from Aladdin, the bad guy from Robocop, a Muppet Baby version of Ethan Hawke, a guy named Josh Charles and another guy that looks just like Josh Charles. Good luck!