Two Open Doors

Polyamory is a form of ethical non-monogamy that is slowly making its way into our societal mainstream.  (As we’ve noted in previous episodes, monogamy or serial monogamy comprise the vast majority of socially-sanctioned long-term committed relationships in our society--- but perhaps 5% of adult intimate relationships in the US are polyamorous.)

As someone with years of immersion in the polyamorous community, I’ve noted a number of relationships that their participants label as polyamorous, but which  seem to lack one or more of the fundamental traits of polyamory.  To coin a new term, I think of those as examples of PINO: Polyamory In Name Only.  In this episode, we’ll explore why that may be an apt label in at least some of these cases.

Dr. Claude Cruz is a relationship and intimacy coach based in the Portland, OR area. He holds a PhD in Human Sexuality from the Institute for Advanced Study of Human Sexuality (IASHS), as well as a Professional Sex Coach certification from Sex Coach U. Dr. Claude is passionate about promoting and supporting deep human connection. He develops and delivers workshops and other events regarding that topic, as well as being available for individual and couples intimacy coaching. He can be contacted at [email protected].

This weekly podcast is distributed through multiple podcast directories, including:
* Apple podcasts: 1588173033 https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/two-open-doors/id1588173033
* Google podcasts: https://podcasts.google.com/search/two%20open%20doors
* Stitcher: https://www.stitcher.com/podcast/two-open-doors
* Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/6ib3hb9vsNoNvWM3HWpEXL
* iHeart Radio: · https://www.iheart.com/podcast/269-two-open-doors-86831925/

Lifestyles that fall outside our society’s mainstream often come with associated terminology that is unfamiliar and potentially confusing to many.  While labels can be misleading or artificially confining, they can also clarify important concepts.

In this episode, we’ll explore three terms that describe non-traditional relationships: open relationships, swinging, and polyamory.  We’ll see how these are related, and how they each describe potentially rewarding alternatives to mainstream monogamous relationships.

Dr. Claude Cruz is a relationship and intimacy coach based in the Portland, OR area. He holds a PhD in Human Sexuality from the Institute for Advanced Study of Human Sexuality (IASHS), as well as a Professional Sex Coach certification from Sex Coach U. Dr. Claude is passionate about promoting and supporting deep human connection. He develops and delivers workshops and other events regarding that topic, as well as being available for individual and couples intimacy coaching. He can be contacted at [email protected].

This weekly podcast is distributed through multiple podcast directories, including:
* Apple podcasts: 1588173033 https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/two-open-doors/id1588173033
* Google podcasts: https://podcasts.google.com/search/two%20open%20doors
* Stitcher: https://www.stitcher.com/podcast/two-open-doors
* Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/6ib3hb9vsNoNvWM3HWpEXL
* iHeart Radio: · https://www.iheart.com/podcast/269-two-open-doors-86831925/

One of the guiding principles for physicians is captured in Hippocrates’ admonition to “first, do no harm” in the process of trying to help a patient.  The Hippocratic Oath includes a similar commitment.  These statements remind physicians of their commitment to try to improve the well-being of their patients.

The spirit of “first, do no harm” applies to the conduct of healthy relationships, as well.  If we care for someone, we will focus our efforts on bringing them good (as best we understand it), and on avoiding intentionally harming them.  In this episode, we’ll consider how this orientation shapes the behavior of partners in a mutually-beneficial intimate relationship.

Dr. Claude Cruz is a relationship and intimacy coach based in the Portland, OR area. He holds a PhD in Human Sexuality from the Institute for Advanced Study of Human Sexuality (IASHS), as well as a Professional Sex Coach certification from Sex Coach U. Dr. Claude is passionate about promoting and supporting deep human connection. He develops and delivers workshops and other events regarding that topic, as well as being available for individual and couples intimacy coaching. He can be contacted at [email protected].

This weekly podcast is distributed through multiple podcast directories, including:
* Apple podcasts: 1588173033 https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/two-open-doors/id1588173033
* Google podcasts: https://podcasts.google.com/search/two%20open%20doors
* Stitcher: https://www.stitcher.com/podcast/two-open-doors
* Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/6ib3hb9vsNoNvWM3HWpEXL
* iHeart Radio: · https://www.iheart.com/podcast/269-two-open-doors-86831925/

The well-known sex educator and podcaster Dan Savage has stated his belief that all loving relationships are transactional.  In contrast with that, there is the proposal that true love is unconditional.  Can these two polar positions be reconciled?

In this episode, we’ll consider what it means for a relationship to be transactional, and we’ll also envision what an unconditional relationship might look like.  We’ll then consider what these two perspectives have in common, to try to gain a broader and more inclusive understanding of the nature of intimate relationship.

Dr. Claude Cruz is a relationship and intimacy coach based in the Portland, OR area. He holds a PhD in Human Sexuality from the Institute for Advanced Study of Human Sexuality (IASHS), as well as a Professional Sex Coach certification from Sex Coach U. Dr. Claude is passionate about promoting and supporting deep human connection. He develops and delivers workshops and other events regarding that topic, as well as being available for individual and couples intimacy coaching. He can be contacted at [email protected].

This weekly podcast is distributed through multiple podcast directories, including:
* Apple podcasts: 1588173033 https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/two-open-doors/id1588173033
* Google podcasts: https://podcasts.google.com/search/two%20open%20doors
* Stitcher: https://www.stitcher.com/podcast/two-open-doors
* Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/6ib3hb9vsNoNvWM3HWpEXL
* iHeart Radio: · https://www.iheart.com/podcast/269-two-open-doors-86831925/

 One of the things that I’ve observed about the sex-positive community is that many of its members differ in significant ways from the mainstream population.  That’s reflected in the lifestyle preferences of these community members, as well as in how they interact with one another. 

We’ll explore some of these differences in this episode, and we’ll see that living outside the mainstream calls for the personal attribute that was the focus of our previous episode: courage.  We’ll also note the many benefits that are open to those who do choose to live a self-examined and self-determined life. 

Dr. Claude Cruz is a relationship and intimacy coach based in the Portland, OR area. He holds a PhD in Human Sexuality from the Institute for Advanced Study of Human Sexuality (IASHS), as well as a Professional Sex Coach certification from Sex Coach U. Dr. Claude is passionate about promoting and supporting deep human connection. He develops and delivers workshops and other events regarding that topic, as well as being available for individual and couples intimacy coaching. He can be contacted at [email protected].

This weekly podcast is distributed through multiple podcast directories, including:
* Apple podcasts: 1588173033 https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/two-open-doors/id1588173033
* Google podcasts: https://podcasts.google.com/search/two%20open%20doors
* Stitcher: https://www.stitcher.com/podcast/two-open-doors
* Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/6ib3hb9vsNoNvWM3HWpEXL
* iHeart Radio: · https://www.iheart.com/podcast/269-two-open-doors-86831925/

Connecting intimately with another human being can sometimes be a scary thing.  Deep connection requires vulnerability and radical authenticity, and both of those can expose a person to potential hurt.  Yet, without accepting the risks inherent in relationship, one cannot reap the many benefits of deep connection.

In this episode, we’ll consider why risk is inherent in relationship, and we’ll then entertain how that risk can be managed.  That will help clarify why courage is a prime requisite for living in intimate connection.

Dr. Claude Cruz is a relationship and intimacy coach based in the Portland, OR area. He holds a PhD in Human Sexuality from the Institute for Advanced Study of Human Sexuality (IASHS), as well as a Professional Sex Coach certification from Sex Coach U. Dr. Claude is passionate about promoting and supporting deep human connection. He develops and delivers workshops and other events regarding that topic, as well as being available for individual and couples intimacy coaching. He can be contacted at [email protected].

This weekly podcast is distributed through multiple podcast directories, including:
* Apple podcasts: 1588173033 https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/two-open-doors/id1588173033
* Google podcasts: https://podcasts.google.com/search/two%20open%20doors
* Stitcher: https://www.stitcher.com/podcast/two-open-doors
* Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/6ib3hb9vsNoNvWM3HWpEXL
* iHeart Radio: · https://www.iheart.com/podcast/269-two-open-doors-86831925/

In our last two episodes, we considered the idea of socially-constructed “sexual imperatives” that constrain our sexual expression, as described by Dr. Emily Nagoski in her new book, “Come Together”.  We then examined the possibility of living an “erotic” life, in which all of our experiences are expressions of the flow of life-energy.

In this episode, we’ll take a look at a kind of experience that becomes possible when we’re living a life in touch with our erotic essence.  We’ll explore a very special kind of deep human connection in which our sexuality provides a path to personal transcendence.

Dr. Claude Cruz is a relationship and intimacy coach based in the Portland, OR area. He holds a PhD in Human Sexuality from the Institute for Advanced Study of Human Sexuality (IASHS), as well as a Professional Sex Coach certification from Sex Coach U. Dr. Claude is passionate about promoting and supporting deep human connection. He develops and delivers workshops and other events regarding that topic, as well as being available for individual and couples intimacy coaching. He can be contacted at [email protected].

This weekly podcast is distributed through multiple podcast directories, including:
* Apple podcasts: 1588173033 https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/two-open-doors/id1588173033
* Google podcasts: https://podcasts.google.com/search/two%20open%20doors
* Stitcher: https://www.stitcher.com/podcast/two-open-doors
* Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/6ib3hb9vsNoNvWM3HWpEXL
* iHeart Radio: · https://www.iheart.com/podcast/269-two-open-doors-86831925/

Our previous episode considered a number of socially-constructed “sexual imperatives” (or expectations and limitations) that were cited in Dr. Emily Nagoski’s new book, “Come Together”.  That book also described another topic that I find both important and fascinating: the transcendent potential of human connection.  In this episode, I’ll explore that concept, and relate it to my own experiences.

Dr. Claude Cruz is a relationship and intimacy coach based in the Portland, OR area. He holds a PhD in Human Sexuality from the Institute for Advanced Study of Human Sexuality (IASHS), as well as a Professional Sex Coach certification from Sex Coach U. Dr. Claude is passionate about promoting and supporting deep human connection. He develops and delivers workshops and other events regarding that topic, as well as being available for individual and couples intimacy coaching. He can be contacted at [email protected].

This weekly podcast is distributed through multiple podcast directories, including:
* Apple podcasts: 1588173033 https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/two-open-doors/id1588173033
* Google podcasts: https://podcasts.google.com/search/two%20open%20doors
* Stitcher: https://www.stitcher.com/podcast/two-open-doors
* Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/6ib3hb9vsNoNvWM3HWpEXL
* iHeart Radio: · https://www.iheart.com/podcast/269-two-open-doors-86831925/

In her wonderful and informative new book, “Come Together”, the sex educator Dr. Emily Nagoski extends the lucid understanding of how sex works that she delivered in “Come As You Are”.

In this episode, I’d like to share and comment on an observation that I believe is relevant to all thinking adults who wish to determine the course of their own sexuality:  the notion of “sexual imperatives”.

Dr. Claude Cruz is a relationship and intimacy coach based in the Portland, OR area. He holds a PhD in Human Sexuality from the Institute for Advanced Study of Human Sexuality (IASHS), as well as a Professional Sex Coach certification from Sex Coach U. Dr. Claude is passionate about promoting and supporting deep human connection. He develops and delivers workshops and other events regarding that topic, as well as being available for individual and couples intimacy coaching. He can be contacted at [email protected].

This weekly podcast is distributed through multiple podcast directories, including:
* Apple podcasts: 1588173033 https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/two-open-doors/id1588173033
* Google podcasts: https://podcasts.google.com/search/two%20open%20doors
* Stitcher: https://www.stitcher.com/podcast/two-open-doors
* Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/6ib3hb9vsNoNvWM3HWpEXL
* iHeart Radio: · https://www.iheart.com/podcast/269-two-open-doors-86831925/

In my prior episode, I highlighted the scientific field of sexology, and I described why I believe that sexology is relevant to everyone who is striving to live a fulfilling life.  I noted that sexual misinformation is widespread, and that it damages society.

In this episode, I’d like to take that theme a bit further, by focusing on a topic that is especially misunderstood by many: the human sexual response cycle.

Dr. Claude Cruz is a relationship and intimacy coach based in the Portland, OR area. He holds a PhD in Human Sexuality from the Institute for Advanced Study of Human Sexuality (IASHS), as well as a Professional Sex Coach certification from Sex Coach U. Dr. Claude is passionate about promoting and supporting deep human connection. He develops and delivers workshops and other events regarding that topic, as well as being available for individual and couples intimacy coaching. He can be contacted at [email protected].

This weekly podcast is distributed through multiple podcast directories, including:
* Apple podcasts: 1588173033 https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/two-open-doors/id1588173033
* Google podcasts: https://podcasts.google.com/search/two%20open%20doors
* Stitcher: https://www.stitcher.com/podcast/two-open-doors
* Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/6ib3hb9vsNoNvWM3HWpEXL
* iHeart Radio: · https://www.iheart.com/podcast/269-two-open-doors-86831925/