Two Open Doors

I recently had the pleasure of participating in a thank-you event for a friend and colleague who is a fellow sҽxologist.  From the many glowing comments I heard, it’s clear that my friend has made many contributions to her professional community.  At least as importantly, she has touched many lives.

In this post, we’ll revisit what sҽxology is, and why it matters in our society.  We’ll consider why and how it provides essential support for the full expression of our humanity.

Dr. Claude Cruz is a relationship and intimacy coach based in the Portland, OR area. He holds a PhD in Human Sexuality from the Institute for Advanced Study of Human Sexuality (IASHS), as well as a Professional Sex Coach certification from Sex Coach U. Dr. Claude is passionate about promoting and supporting deep human connection. He develops and delivers workshops and other events regarding that topic, as well as being available for individual and couples intimacy coaching. He can be contacted at [email protected].

This weekly podcast is distributed through multiple podcast directories, including:
* Apple podcasts: 1588173033 https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/two-open-doors/id1588173033
* Google podcasts: https://podcasts.google.com/search/two%20open%20doors
* Stitcher: https://www.stitcher.com/podcast/two-open-doors
* Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/6ib3hb9vsNoNvWM3HWpEXL
* iHeart Radio: · https://www.iheart.com/podcast/269-two-open-doors-86831925/

Human sexuality is a strong force, which impacts both personal lives and the fabric of society in many ways.  Not surprisingly, then, sex can stir up some very strong feelings in people.  Similarly, the expression of sexuality can provoke both strong reactions and constraints in many if not most societies. 

In this post, we’ll take a look at a connection that bears on this uneasy relationship between sex and society: how morality enters the realm of sexuality.  It’s important to understand this connection, if we as individuals are to be able to comfortably and responsibly enjoy the gift of sexuality. 

Dr. Claude Cruz is a relationship and intimacy coach based in the Portland, OR area. He holds a PhD in Human Sexuality from the Institute for Advanced Study of Human Sexuality (IASHS), as well as a Professional Sex Coach certification from Sex Coach U. Dr. Claude is passionate about promoting and supporting deep human connection. He develops and delivers workshops and other events regarding that topic, as well as being available for individual and couples intimacy coaching. He can be contacted at [email protected].

This weekly podcast is distributed through multiple podcast directories, including:
* Apple podcasts: 1588173033 https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/two-open-doors/id1588173033
* Google podcasts: https://podcasts.google.com/search/two%20open%20doors
* Stitcher: https://www.stitcher.com/podcast/two-open-doors
* Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/6ib3hb9vsNoNvWM3HWpEXL
* iHeart Radio: · https://www.iheart.com/podcast/269-two-open-doors-86831925/

I’ve recently been wondering about why I’ve had such an intense longstanding interest in deep human connections, even in childhood.  While many of my peers seemed to be focused on sports, or having adventures, or running in popular social circles, I was drawn to the exploration and understanding of intimacy.  Why?

We’ve previously explored the three realms in which human connection plays out:  the physical, mental and emotional planes (with the latter including spiritual experiences).  In this episode, we’ll consider the very special role filled by intimate relationships.

Dr. Claude Cruz is a relationship and intimacy coach based in the Portland, OR area. He holds a PhD in Human Sexuality from the Institute for Advanced Study of Human Sexuality (IASHS), as well as a Professional Sex Coach certification from Sex Coach U. Dr. Claude is passionate about promoting and supporting deep human connection. He develops and delivers workshops and other events regarding that topic, as well as being available for individual and couples intimacy coaching. He can be contacted at [email protected].

This weekly podcast is distributed through multiple podcast directories, including:
* Apple podcasts: 1588173033 https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/two-open-doors/id1588173033
* Google podcasts: https://podcasts.google.com/search/two%20open%20doors
* Stitcher: https://www.stitcher.com/podcast/two-open-doors
* Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/6ib3hb9vsNoNvWM3HWpEXL
* iHeart Radio: · https://www.iheart.com/podcast/269-two-open-doors-86831925/

I recently came across a book that I found to be full of thought-provoking observations:  All About Love, by the feminist and cultural critic bell hooks.  That work deals with what is perhaps the central orienting theme in intimate relationships:  our desire for love, and how that desire plays out in our lives.
 
In this episode, we’ll explore some of bell’s often-pointed views on what love is, how we acquire our understanding of love, and how we try to bring it into our daily life.  Hopefully, that understanding will help us in our ability to create and sustain truly loving relationships.

Dr. Claude Cruz is a relationship and intimacy coach based in the Portland, OR area. He holds a PhD in Human Sexuality from the Institute for Advanced Study of Human Sexuality (IASHS), as well as a Professional Sex Coach certification from Sex Coach U. Dr. Claude is passionate about promoting and supporting deep human connection. He develops and delivers workshops and other events regarding that topic, as well as being available for individual and couples intimacy coaching. He can be contacted at [email protected].

This weekly podcast is distributed through multiple podcast directories, including:
* Apple podcasts: 1588173033 https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/two-open-doors/id1588173033
* Google podcasts: https://podcasts.google.com/search/two%20open%20doors
* Stitcher: https://www.stitcher.com/podcast/two-open-doors
* Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/6ib3hb9vsNoNvWM3HWpEXL
* iHeart Radio: · https://www.iheart.com/podcast/269-two-open-doors-86831925/

As is often observed in the media, our society is facing a tsunami of loneliness and alienation.  In 2023, the US Surgeon General Dr. Vivek Murthy published a report titled “Our Epidemic of Loneliness and Isolation”, in which he describes the prevalence, effects and possible cures for loneliness. 

One aspect of this problem is that of people feeling that they are “invisible” to one another.  In this episode, we’ll explore this phenomenon, and some of its causes. 

Dr. Claude Cruz is a relationship and intimacy coach based in the Portland, OR area. He holds a PhD in Human Sexuality from the Institute for Advanced Study of Human Sexuality (IASHS), as well as a Professional Sex Coach certification from Sex Coach U. Dr. Claude is passionate about promoting and supporting deep human connection. He develops and delivers workshops and other events regarding that topic, as well as being available for individual and couples intimacy coaching. He can be contacted at [email protected].

This weekly podcast is distributed through multiple podcast directories, including:
* Apple podcasts: 1588173033 https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/two-open-doors/id1588173033
* Google podcasts: https://podcasts.google.com/search/two%20open%20doors
* Stitcher: https://www.stitcher.com/podcast/two-open-doors
* Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/6ib3hb9vsNoNvWM3HWpEXL
* iHeart Radio: · https://www.iheart.com/podcast/269-two-open-doors-86831925/

As the end of another year approaches, I’d like to recommend a practice that has long held meaning for me:  taking stock of the preceding year of my relationship experiences.  I see that as a good way to learn as much as possible from the last year of living, as well as a good way to prepare for a meaningful year ahead.

In this episode, I’ll share a few highlights of what I’ve learned, and what I look forward to.  While the reflections that I’ll share are very personal and individual, I believe that they’ll resonate with many or most people who are also trying to live a conscious life.  Perhaps that’s a sort of (belated) “Christmas present” to the Two Open Doors community!

Standing in the present

Dr. Claude Cruz is a relationship and intimacy coach based in the Portland, OR area. He holds a PhD in Human Sexuality from the Institute for Advanced Study of Human Sexuality (IASHS), as well as a Professional Sex Coach certification from Sex Coach U. Dr. Claude is passionate about promoting and supporting deep human connection. He develops and delivers workshops and other events regarding that topic, as well as being available for individual and couples intimacy coaching. He can be contacted at [email protected].

This weekly podcast is distributed through multiple podcast directories, including:
* Apple podcasts: 1588173033 https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/two-open-doors/id1588173033
* Google podcasts: https://podcasts.google.com/search/two%20open%20doors
* Stitcher: https://www.stitcher.com/podcast/two-open-doors
* Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/6ib3hb9vsNoNvWM3HWpEXL
* iHeart Radio: · https://www.iheart.com/podcast/269-two-open-doors-86831925/

At first blush, there might seem to be no connection between fear and the role it might play in relationships--- yet in fact, fear is very relevant throughout the entire life-cycle of intimate relationships.  In this episode, we’ll take a look at the particulars of this reality.

Dr. Claude Cruz is a relationship and intimacy coach based in the Portland, OR area. He holds a PhD in Human Sexuality from the Institute for Advanced Study of Human Sexuality (IASHS), as well as a Professional Sex Coach certification from Sex Coach U. Dr. Claude is passionate about promoting and supporting deep human connection. He develops and delivers workshops and other events regarding that topic, as well as being available for individual and couples intimacy coaching. He can be contacted at [email protected].

This weekly podcast is distributed through multiple podcast directories, including:
* Apple podcasts: 1588173033 https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/two-open-doors/id1588173033
* Google podcasts: https://podcasts.google.com/search/two%20open%20doors
* Stitcher: https://www.stitcher.com/podcast/two-open-doors
* Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/6ib3hb9vsNoNvWM3HWpEXL
* iHeart Radio: · https://www.iheart.com/podcast/269-two-open-doors-86831925/

In Tantric cosmology, the universe is created and filled by two inseparable deities:  Shiva and Shakti.  Shiva is seen as the embodiment of masculinity, while Shakti embodies the feminine.  Shiva manifests the state of being in existence, which focuses on the static aspect of existing.  In contrast, Shakti manifests the flow of energy that animates everything in existence; that role is fundamentally dynamic.

Contemporary people who have a tantric perspective on life find Shiva and Shakti very relevant to their daily lives.  In this episode, we’ll consider how the spirits of the “god” and “goddess” play out in our life. 

Dr. Claude Cruz is a relationship and intimacy coach based in the Portland, OR area. He holds a PhD in Human Sexuality from the Institute for Advanced Study of Human Sexuality (IASHS), as well as a Professional Sex Coach certification from Sex Coach U. Dr. Claude is passionate about promoting and supporting deep human connection. He develops and delivers workshops and other events regarding that topic, as well as being available for individual and couples intimacy coaching. He can be contacted at [email protected].

This weekly podcast is distributed through multiple podcast directories, including:
* Apple podcasts: 1588173033 https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/two-open-doors/id1588173033
* Google podcasts: https://podcasts.google.com/search/two%20open%20doors
* Stitcher: https://www.stitcher.com/podcast/two-open-doors
* Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/6ib3hb9vsNoNvWM3HWpEXL
* iHeart Radio: · https://www.iheart.com/podcast/269-two-open-doors-86831925/

In prior episodes, we’ve seen that attachment theory can provide many insights into how relationships function.  That theory proposes how infants and children learn to relate to others, and how they form a self-image that’s essential if they are to see themselves as worthy of love and support.  Relationships evolve over time, and the relevance and utility of attachment theory carry over into adult relationships.

One of the concepts put forward in attachment theory is that of a secure base.  That term describes how a child’s caretaker can provide the safety, security and support that enable a child to explore the world in order to learn.  In this episode, we’ll explore how the partners in an intimate relationship can serve as a secure base for one another, to enable each partner to develop as a participant in their relationship.

Dr. Claude Cruz is a relationship and intimacy coach based in the Portland, OR area. He holds a PhD in Human Sexuality from the Institute for Advanced Study of Human Sexuality (IASHS), as well as a Professional Sex Coach certification from Sex Coach U. Dr. Claude is passionate about promoting and supporting deep human connection. He develops and delivers workshops and other events regarding that topic, as well as being available for individual and couples intimacy coaching. He can be contacted at [email protected].

This weekly podcast is distributed through multiple podcast directories, including:
* Apple podcasts: 1588173033 https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/two-open-doors/id1588173033
* Google podcasts: https://podcasts.google.com/search/two%20open%20doors
* Stitcher: https://www.stitcher.com/podcast/two-open-doors
* Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/6ib3hb9vsNoNvWM3HWpEXL
* iHeart Radio: · https://www.iheart.com/podcast/269-two-open-doors-86831925/

In numerous prior episodes, we’ve taken a look at attachment theory, and its many implications for adult relationships.  We’ve seen that personal attachment style is a strong factor in determining our predispositions as to how we interact with others… as well as in how we see ourselves.

There’s far more to be said about “attachment”, though--- starting with how that term is defined.  In this episode, we’ll consider another perspective on attachment, one that is a central theme in several Eastern belief-systems, such as Buddhism.

Dr. Claude Cruz is a relationship and intimacy coach based in the Portland, OR area. He holds a PhD in Human Sexuality from the Institute for Advanced Study of Human Sexuality (IASHS), as well as a Professional Sex Coach certification from Sex Coach U. Dr. Claude is passionate about promoting and supporting deep human connection. He develops and delivers workshops and other events regarding that topic, as well as being available for individual and couples intimacy coaching. He can be contacted at [email protected].

This weekly podcast is distributed through multiple podcast directories, including:
* Apple podcasts: 1588173033 https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/two-open-doors/id1588173033
* Google podcasts: https://podcasts.google.com/search/two%20open%20doors
* Stitcher: https://www.stitcher.com/podcast/two-open-doors
* Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/6ib3hb9vsNoNvWM3HWpEXL
* iHeart Radio: · https://www.iheart.com/podcast/269-two-open-doors-86831925/