NERD ALERT!!! Only the most badass of the dweebs sciencia need apply. Believe it or not, this movie is grounded in sort of mostly realistic means. Like if anyone in Revenge of the Nerds was actually capable of coolness in college, it would probably be this movie. The main nerdling of the movie is Mitch Taylor (Gabriel Jarret), a lucky little bow-tie stereotype who wins a high school talent show/scholarship  to get sent to somewhere “smart” like Caltech, only let’s name it…Pacific Tech. BOOM! Stage set. God of Sexing Science, Val Kilmer, plays Lord Giga-Chad-Nerdling-Megatron, Chris Knight, a senior at  PTech. While Mitchy boy is the main lead, we all know this movie is really A Chronicle on the Story of the Ballad~Saga through the Atmosphere of ValChris Kill-Knight, Eternal Huntsman of Classroom Tang.The Sigma Alpha-Weeb royalty of PTec (and Kent), piddling through their studies, are creating cable satellite with unlimited signal. And by signal I mean, Space Lasers. So what will they do with all that power? Can those lasers pop a bottle cap or three and chill the case? Asking the important questions here. For a friend. Delivering more mindless relaxation unto our adoring public–here’s another episode from our CKV: Season of Weird Sciencing. Join Roland, Rey, and Daniel for (Val Kilmer’s) Real Genius.

Regarded as “your favorite rapper’s favorite rapper”, a British citizen named Daniel Dumile once looked at the rap game and came to the conclusion that rap was becoming “what it looked like” versus “what it sounded like”. What did he do with this observation? He donned a metal mask and became the scene’s most loved supervillain and well regarded wordsmith known as MF DOOM. That’s right, kids, Anatomy of Mixtape has finally taken the step that 40 Hands Dan has wanted since the inception of the show–an exploration of the life and music of MF DOOM that blew his mind a few years ago and continues to do so. In our first of two parts for this series, Rey and Daniel address what little we know of Dumile’s life which is shrouded in mystery purposefully. To paraphrase DOOM during an interview when asked to list five things that fans don’t know about him, he said “You don’t know anything about me”. Find out why this is the case even a year after his death by tuning in!

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Yes. FINALLY. IT IS HERE. The best zombie movie in existence. Nay, maybe even the best ZOMBIE MOVIE EVER MADE?!? *Rey enters the chat*. So anyways, we are crackalackin through this cheese-festy pile of cliches and barely tolerable writing and dialog with Milla Jovovich’s Resident Evil. Because be serious, she is the only interesting/cool/reason to watch the movie. Aside from that (which is actually plenty), there’s not much to see here folks. Buncha no-namers and IS THAT TONY TODD?!?……wait….no. So Milla wakes up naked and alone with no memory of why she’s naked and alone. A handy-dandy conveniently placed sexy dress and some zombies start this por…..movie off with some bland heavy metal music and a buncha military larpers to drag her  into an underground lab to uncover the origins of a virus outbreak within the facility. Will they survive the hordes long enough to uncover…THE TRUTH. THERE IS NO ZOMBIE. THERE IS ONLY ZUUL. Join Daniel, Rey, and Roland as we pound down some strong booze and go over the only merit to this movie…….it’s Milla, in case you haven’t figured it out by now. 
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The Best Worst Horror Movie Remakenings

As we hermit through the best and only important month of the year–we spent quite a bit more time than expected on this episode going through all the horror reboots we could find or remember. While there are a few “good ones” here and there–this is still one super-sized pile of crapola we’re shoveling through. The Hollywood trend of saving a buck on brainpower and licensing fees or exploiting what were once fan-favorite franchises has mostly always been an idiotic half-assed shit show at best (why Evil Dead, why) and at worst, The Wicker Man (the bees…goddammit). Sometimes, they get lucky. If only it happened more often. Then again, some of us really like a thick slice of crappiness pie with our movie experience. Join Roland, Rey and Daniel as we inundated you with all the redux horror hits and doodoo redos.  

Episode Timestamps:

00:00 Intro

04:00 Night of the Living Dead (1990)

12:00 Evil Dead (2013)

28:00 Halloween (2007)

34:00 House on Haunted Hill (1999)

39:00 Childs Play (2019)

46:00 House of Wax (2005)

49:00 The Grudge (2004)

59:00 The Fly (1986)

01:05:00 The Hills Have Eyes (2006)

01:14:00 Friday the 13th (2009)

01:22:00 13 Ghosts (2001)

01:33:00 The Amityville Horror (2005)

01:38:00 Dracula (1992)

01:44:00 It Chapter 1 (2017)

01:46:00 Suspiria (2018)

01:47:00 The Town that Dreaded Sundown (2014)

01:49:00 The Blob (1988)

01:50:00 Dawn of the Dead (2004)

01:55:00 The Wicker Man (2006)

02:00:00 Poltergeist (2015)

02:01:00 I Am Legend (2007)

02:02:00 Fright Night (2013)/Nightmare on Elm Street (2010)

02:13:00 Closing Remarks

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So here we present year two of our hatch day holiday with the baller-ass box office bomb, Last Action Hero, a pretty bitchin’ ballistic action movie starring the Schwarzeneggar as immortal die-hard cop Jack Slater. Get ready for some dick-kicking ridiculousness as Slater goes through life, giving the one-finger-salute to the swamp nuts of crime only to realize it’s all fiction. Welcome to a literal meta-Slaterverse thanks to the plucky, definitely not annoying-as-fuck comedic side-prick wannabe super-fan, Danny, coming across a magical ticket that (probably used to be owned by Satan) lets him step into any movie he wants. So naturally, Danny would want to escape from the “real world” (heavily implying its a total shit-show of a place-I mean he’s not completely wrong) to the land of his hero, and definitely not completely kerfucking Slater’s life with his know-it-all wiseass bitch-smirk. We definitely don’t want to slap him sideways. That would be wrong. Probably? It’s all about the action in this non-stop ass-kicking contest, and Slater is the one with the big boots. Join Daniel, Rey, and Roland as we review this cult favorite cinematic flop.

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Beginning the next Cinekuest “Apocalypse Trilogy” we bring you Shaun of the Dead. With this first “Cornetto-verse” pick we bring you the dark comedic genius of Simon Pegg and Nick Frost, arguably the funniest duo in existence. They bring plenty of feels too though when Shaun’s entire world as he knows it comes crashing down to eat his ass. In this context, eating ass = not good. Talkin’ about those hard undead Z-words, folks, comin’ to take a bite outta all life as we know it. And the safest place to go when dead shit hits the fan? A bar, BABY! If the world was gonna get fucked, why not get trashed while you’re at it? Can’t get any worse…could it? Join Daniel, Rey, and Roland as we kick off this next round of Cinekuest quarantine chronicles.

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Debarge it downtime, folks. If none of you have seen it, then you’ve got time this self-quarantining/social distancing eve to check The Last Dragon with us. The only guy that stands between Sho ‘Nuff, the Shogun of Harlem, and total supremacy is the (eats popcorn using chopsticks with a straight face) serious, the saucy (“Hothead, needs cool water”), Leeroy Greene. 
“Bruce” Leeroy is a man on a personal quest to attain The Glow, mighty power of spiritual Kung fury oneness. The son of a pizzeria owner, this martial arts master must navigate murderous kung-fu street gangs hell-bent on designating his ass for dismemberment, psychopathic arcade owners with piranha tanks, an asshole little brother (Ritchie has delusions of grandeur wet dreams-we hates him, but he does know how to pop-and-lock out of being tied up), all while helping his “friend” learn some “moves”. Did we mention the soundtrack is badasscool? Synthfunkbass twangage tracks were at their best in the 80s. 
Will Bruce Leeroy successfully keep the power of The Glow out of the hands of evil? Listen in with Daniel, Rey, and Roland, as we ask important questions like, “Why didn’t Ritchie die?” or “He shoulda cracked his head wide open.” or the classic, “Fuck Ritchie and his leather pants.” (real questions probably). 

Please rate and review us on iTunes and Google Podcasts. Join the conversation on Twitter @MokuestStudios and Instagram @mokueststudios. https://www.patreon.com/mokueststudios

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Sup sup sup alright! Here we go againz, Soundtracks the Sequel: Numba Three. We rock out the movie magic tracks for another double shot of goods to the masses (we love booze). This time, we have more MoKuesters on the rack crackalackin’ with some picks for your perusal. Some of us have themes, some of us have taste, most of us are fulla shiet (the best). Join Daniel, Rey, Roland, Bryan, and Better-Late-Than-Never-Joe Joe as we zip through this shizz.   

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We would like to thank Five Foot Five for letting us use their song “Texas Held’em” from the album Just For Living. Check them out on Spotify and Apple Music!