Podcast: Unchecked Baggage
Episode: 5 Relationship Insecurities
Tune in to this episode of the Unchecked Baggage podcast, a podcast all about relationship advice with hosts Lena and Rob. They chat about emotional baggage, blended families, love, sex, relationships, and life. Life is too short to be weighed down by unchecked baggage! Today’s episode is all about relationship insecurities and comes from a listener’s email question—how do you deal with insecurities in a relationship that develop over time in a healthy way? Lena and Rob dive into the details surrounding this massive topic and are here to help you with your baggage.
What is an insecurity? Listen to the findings of studies done regarding the possible connections between posting on social media and relationship insecurities. In an article from Brides.com, Lena shares the findings of how to tell if you’re insecure in a relationship, even if there is nothing significant going on that would cause it. Millennial attachment based therapist, Alysha Jeney, shares about the impact of things that have happened to you in the past and the five signs to look for to tell if you are insecure. Hear about difficulty in trusting, struggling with intimacy, becoming easily panicked about your partner leaving or rejecting you, feeling easily attacked, and not accepting your authentic self. She shares about solutions in journaling your thoughts, considering whether you and your partner experience love in same way, tracing thoughts back to roots and working to develop self-soothing talk, thinking more rationally and less emotionally, and working on being your authentic self through outlets such as books, counseling, religion, and so on.
While most relationship insecurities come from personal insecurities, it is important to learn what to do about these insecurities once you identify them. Insecurities can result in one having trouble forming long lasting relationships. Causes prove to be numerous, including things like traumatic events, crisis, loss, unpredictable environments, childhood history, and many more. They discuss how the effects of insecurities can also cause issues like low self-esteem, body image issues, lack of direction, feeling overlooked, interpreting others’ behaviors incorrectly, career struggles, and distancing one’s self socially. What can you do about these? First, you must learn to identify the cause! They take a look at another article that identifies 12 steps to overcoming self-doubt. Consider the following steps: stop saying you’re insecure, doubt your doubts, name your critic, stop overthinking, ask for help, cut off comparisons, cultivate confidence, open up, improve self-talk, surround self with positivity, and embrace insecurities as part of being human.
Who do you surround yourself with most and what do they talk about?
As the conversation draws to a close, Lena and Rob open up to share their own personal struggles with insecurities and how they work on them. Rob’s old emotional scars with friends get ripped open and make it difficult for vulnerability. Listen to his past relationships with friends, the hardships he has faced, and why completely opening up still proves challenging. Lena follows up with sharing about her insecurities with weight, her level of education, and finances. What if you have insecurities in your relationship that are justified or valid? Trust is the bottom line, but it is important to remember that it is not static. If it’s worth it, do whatever it takes to make it work!
Don’t forget to leave a review and email in with a question, topic idea, or commentary on the show to be submitted to win a drawing!
Email us at [email protected]
Some article links referenced in this episode:
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/living-forward/201609/four-ways-stop-feeling-insecure-in-your-relationships
https://hellorelish.com/articles/12-steps-overcome-relationship-insecurity.html
https://www.brides.com/insecurity-in-relationships-5105358
https://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/us_590ff70ee4b0f71180724627
https://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/psychpedia/insecurity
https://darciemft.medium.com/8-ways-to-foster-emotional-safety-in-your-relationship-4588ec3d642a
https://www.relate.org.uk/relationship-help/help-relationships/trust/i-dont-trust-my-partner
https://www.healthline.com/health/how-to-rebuild-trust
https://www.healthline.com/health/how-to-stop-being-insecure
https://www.healthline.com/health/how-to-not-be-jealous
https://www.growingself.com/stop-feeling-insecure/
https://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/us_5a39ca5ce4b0d86c803c6d17
https://www.cosmopolitan.com/uk/love-sex/relationships/a24437388/insecure-in-relationship/
https://www.marriage.com/advice/relationship/8-signs-you-are-insecure-in-your-relationship/
https://www.tonyrobbins.com/ultimate-relationship-guide/insecure-in-a-relationship/
https://brightside.me/inspiration-relationships/according-to-a-study-couples-who-post-a-lot-about-themselves-on-social-media-are-insecure-794040/
scars lyrics papa roach https://g.co/kgs/8nPC45
