Uncommon: The DadWork Podcast

I used to have erectile dysfunction.

When I met my wife, things were fiery. Hot and heavy. But I was neglecting

my health: I was burning it at both

ends, working long hours, and

skimping on sleep

and the Pain Teacher came knocking.

She wondered if it was her, but it wasn’t.

Being a LITTLE knowledgable, I did

some bloodwork and found out

that my testosterone (and

related markers) were —

in clinical terms —

all jacked up.

In the past 50-years,

the average male

testosterone level has

dropped by 50%. We

are literally half the men

our grandfathers were.

Imagine what your boys

are going to have to deal with.

Testosterone isn’t some

toxic hormone, it’s the root

of our ALIVENESS, assertiveness,

energy, and self-worth. We NEED it.

In that same span of time,

infertility & miscarriage rates

have increased by a similar amount.

IDK about you, but having my son

was the greatest thing that

happened to me that I never

knew I wanted. Imagine the

challenges our boys and girls

will face. Imagine them struggling

and missing out on that opportunity.

In this episode with Mark Holman (@markholmanhealth)

we go deep on how to optimize our

health by removing the chains of

cultural expectations, poor health,

and low testosterone. Mark guides

us through different practices and

practical insights that you can

begin implementing in your life TODAY

to get your mojo back, and to set

your wife, your kids, and your life

up for health and happiness

in the future.

✊⛓️‍💥 Do the work

so they won’t have to.

You can get involved in Mark's work here.

(00:00:00) Declining Men's Testosterone Levels: A Health Concern

(00:09:40) Epiphany Through Fitness: Transformation and Self-Discovery

(00:21:15) Precision Blood Work for Personalized Health

(00:23:28) Comprehensive Health Insights Through Regular Blood Work

(00:25:55) Cholesterol's Impact on Testosterone Synthesis

(00:31:58) Fertility and Health Implications of Low Testosterone

(00:37:17) Critical Impact of Testosterone Levels on Well-being

(00:38:53) Natural Approaches Before Testosterone Replacement Therapy

(00:41:31) Optimizing Hormones with Essential Micronutrients

(00:51:18) Vitamin D Receptors in Scrotum and Testosterone

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Have you had one of those moments?

Sometimes we don’t know the influence we have on our own kids until someone reflects it back to us.

Until their Grandma, their coach, or some stranger in public praises some quality they see in them — their competence, their perseverance, the pleasure of their presence.

It’s in moments like those — witnessed through the eyes of others — when we get to see the influence that we are on our children.

In this episode with Stew Blackwell ( @stblackwell ), we dive deep into the legacy of our daily example. We explore the calling to change who we are for our family, and the pull of complacency. We talk about the allure of porn and the ever-elusive work-life balance.

If you’re a dad who wants to have a bigger impact on his kids, know that your example is your ultimate legacy, and that you need to listen to this episode.

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Do you see it too?
Society at large has told us that dads don’t matter.
It portrays us as bumbling & incompetent or controlling & reactive. It’s easy to see a world where dads are an inconvenience, where things would be better if they weren’t in the way.
But thing is — dads DO matter. We have a MASSIVE impact on our homes, and we don’t have to become the old dad stereotypes.
You matter, dad.
In this chat w/ Joe Jordan ( @youmatterdad ), we go DEEP on the importance of dads in the home, how we can be models for emotional wellbeing, how we can overcome the bubbling reactivity, and much more.
And remember, you can’t change what happened yesterday, but you CAN change how you show up right now — and that’s what REALLY matters.

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I’m going to tell you a secret. We — including me — are all just figuring this thing out. Life. Being a husband. Being a “good” dad.

We’re all learning, and we’re all making mistakes.

What’s important is that we OWN IT, we respond and repair, and we do the work necessary to move forward and be better next time.

Because at the end of the day there are little eyes that are watching,

and those little eyes have never been good at following your advice but they’ve never failed to emulate it.

In this episode with Shaun Frey (@OwnItDad), we discuss learning and growing as fathers, and the power of our example. We dive DEEP into relationship dynamics and how we can cultivate an intimate relationship with our wife even in the midst of parenthood. We even explore why the advice to “not burden your wife with your feelings” doesn’t work for us.

✊ Keep showing up, and stay on that path.

(00:00:00) Navigating Fatherhood: Self-improvement and Relationship Dynamics

(00:10:59) "Authentic Parenting Portrayal on Social Media"

(00:12:17) Mindful Parenting: Navigating Social Media Pressures

(00:21:31) Equal Support for Parental Roles in Upbringing

(00:24:28) Effort, Presence, and Communication in Parenthood

(00:38:20) Enhancing Relationship Communication Skills for Conflict Resolution

(00:47:18) Empathy-driven Connections: Understanding Others' Needs

(00:50:48) Understanding Children's Developmental Needs for Expectations

(00:55:37) Understanding Love Languages for Strong Relationships

(00:59:04) Embracing Strength Through Emotional Vulnerability in Men

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Few of us grow up with fathers who are fully healed, or healed in any way at all.

When we live unconsciously, we pass those wounds, the trauma, and the unconscious patterns, habits, and neuroticisms down to our OWN kids, who in turn will pass it on to theirs.

When we live in such a way, we can only hope that they’ll figure it all out one day.

But there’s a different way. If we embrace the role of the conscious father NOW, we can heal those wounds and end those generational cycles so that our kids won’t have to.

In this episode with Zat Baraka Elias (@menswisdomwork ), we explore the role and the value of the father, and how we can love, create structure and boundaries, and hold space for our own emotions and the emotions of our children in a uniquely masculine way.

There's a new way to be an Uncommon Dad.

Zat is hosting the Fire in the Heart Retreat in Yelapa, MX on 10/27/2024. You can find all that info here.

His next round of Men's Coach Training (which I have been honored to undergo) begins 11/11/2024. You can find all the info here.

(00:02:24) Healing Generational Wounds Through Conscious Fatherhood

(00:10:33) Nurturing Intimacy Through Mindful Parenting Practices

(00:12:32) Nurturing Masculine Presence in Fatherhood

(00:21:53) Prioritizing Children's Emotional Connection for Strong Bonds

(00:26:49) Emotional Connection Through Parental Attunement

(00:40:25) The Impact of Rough Father-Son Play

(00:46:10) Becoming Antifragile through Nervous System Regulation

(00:46:15) Enhancing Self-Awareness through Nervous System Regulation

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There is no better way to develop a strong and lasting relationship with your kids — AND your wife — than playing with them in their world.

But why is that so hard for so many of us?

Our bodies hurt. We’re not quite sure how to improvise, use our imagination, or explore creatively, so we just DON’T.

…or we tell our kids — or expect our wife — to do THE THING the way we think it should be done, thus stifling creativity, learning, bonding, competence, confidence, and resilience to challenges later in life.

All because we’ve forgotten how to play.

@joshfmdavis) & I explore these concepts and SO MUCH MORE in this episode of Uncommon.
🌳🤸🏻‍♂️Slow down, and play more.

(00:04:19) "Embracing Playful Natural Movements for Well-being"

(00:09:50) Playful Exploration: Fostering Curiosity through Movement

(00:14:27) Negative Effects of Early Sports Specialization

(00:20:08) Interactive Fatherhood Fostering Resilience and Competence

(00:27:06) Functional Movement Patterns for Enhanced Physical Fitness

(00:33:03) Nature-Inspired Farming Revolution by Masanobu Fukuoku

(00:35:58) Primal Fitness: Embracing Natural Movement Patterns

(00:38:26) Natural Child Development in Fatherhood Philosophy

(00:46:07) Navigating Parenting: Understanding Sleep, Triggers, and Boundaries

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I used to be that guy that scoffed whenever my wife would bring it up.

“You should really do some yoga”, she’d say.

And I’d respond, “You mean that weird ladies stretching class where I feel my feelings? Nah, I’ll lift weights instead.”

I struggled with the pressure of work and relationship, and hid the dangerously high blood-pressure, the anxiety, and the strange hyperventilation that would creep up while driving.

Until I decided that I wanted something different.

As men, we’re simultaneously told to be more feminine, to feel our feelings, and to suck it up and just keep going at the same time.

We suffer in silence.

And worse, our wives and kids take on that suffering and the wounds caused by it too.

In this episode with Shiloh Kinney (@OperationStrongDad), we go deep on the meaning of TRUE STRENGTH, and how we can begin the process of healing that will enable us to show up as the solid, loving, and present men, husbands, and fathers that our family needs and deserves.

This world is a better place with you in it, and those little feet chose YOU as their papa.

(00:06:42) Advocating to Break Mental Health Stigma

(00:09:28) Military Mental Health Support Innovations

(00:13:19) The Importance of Therapist Compatibility

(00:16:42) Cultivating Inner Strength through Emotional Resilience

(00:24:27) Setting Boundaries for Self-Acceptance

(00:28:40) Continuous Self-Discovery through Vulnerability

(00:33:06) Self-Improvement through Embracing Feedback

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We set the example

and we can either show our kids how to live a life of freedom, abundance, growth, and living life at its fullest

or we can set them up for a life of dependence, addiction, comfort, and never knowing who they truly are or what they’re capable of.

In today’s podcast, I chat with Stew Blackwell (@stblackwell) about what he learned during his time in the military, how he broke free from the victim & addiction programming, and how he applies the SAVAGE principles — values & ways of being that make a successful & fulfilled man — to fatherhood.

We even get a little spicy on the topic of women in the military, and the potential catastrophic cost of thrusting our daughters into combat.

Enjoy this episode, and make sure to make your thoughts known in a review.

(00:01:02) "Stewart Blackwell's Military to Fatherhood Journey"

(00:09:46) Transformative Power of Personal Responsibility Journey

(00:21:26) Transformative Impact of Physical Activities for Children

(00:28:19) Holistic Wellness for Long-Term Success

(00:39:34) Positive Fatherhood: Influencing Children Through Example

(00:43:05) "Lethality and Resilience in Infantry Training"

(00:46:33) Navigating Core Values in Combat Leadership

(00:53:38) Combat Performance Concerns in Mixed Gender Units

(01:04:46) Transitioning to Savage Fatherhood: A Military Journey

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It’s the biggest lie of all time...

That once you have kids, once you’ve been married, that your sex-life has to go down the tubes forever.

Frankly, it’s a load of bulls**t.

As parents you CAN have more sex, better sex, and a deeper connection than you did before kids — and hell, even more than when you first met.

What’s better is that you’ll feel deeply fulfilled, you’ll show up as better parents, you’ll create an energy and atmosphere that brings out the BEST in your family,

and more importantly, you’ll provide a model for what a healthy and thriving marriage SHOULD look like. After all, your example is your true legacy.

Today, Kim Anami (@kimanami) and I go DEEP on how to cultivate a relationship that gushes, how to break up with p*rn and premature ejaculation, and how to ensure that your woman is a well f**ked woman.

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Your family doesn't want a dad who's just physically present. They want a father who's mentally emotionally present, because they need one who is able to make memories through his ability to make deep and meaningful connections.

With all the things going on in the world in 2024, it can be a real challenge to be deeply present when you're at home. Work, bills, politics, social-media, you name it -- they're all extract your energy and distracting your focus.

But the path to deep presence and meaningful connection with your family may be different than you think: the journey through the self.

After all, how can we truly connect and empathize with our family, if we can't even do it with ourselves? In this Uncommon Chat with Hugo   Correa (@paternalife.coaching) , we go DEEP on what it means to be a father, breaking out of the fatherhood patterns that we inherited, and how to go from being a "good" dad to rising to the level of a GREAT one.

We even explore some communication games that you can use in your own home that will deepen connection and intimacy with your own family.

(00:01:54) Self-Reflection and Change in Fatherhood Journey

(00:12:41) Transforming Through Healing Past Traumas

(00:14:17) Transformation Through Self-Inquiry and Reflection

(00:15:43) Nurturing Emotional Intimacy for Men

(00:22:25) "Emotional Presence for Strong Father-Child Bonds"

(00:24:28) Emotional Awareness for Meaningful Family Connections

(00:27:43) Deep Questions Strengthen Family Bonds

(00:42:14) Discovering Authenticity: Importance of Self-Awareness

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Donations exceeding $50 are eligible to have their notes read on the show. Donate here 👇

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