Unfeigned Christianity

Why is it that when someone raises a concern, we so quickly start looking for what's wrong with them? In this solo episode, Asher looks at that very human reflex and what happens when it shows up in church leadership, especially around abuse. He takes the critique of "awareness fatigue" seriously, names the history of cover-up that makes these stories spread, and shares a petition asking the BMA for a third-party investigation into an orphanage under its care. He also announces his workshops on healthy masculinity and shame at the Anabaptist Awareness Symposium on Sexual Abuse, October 15–17 in Millersburg, Ohio. Links to the symposium, the petition, and the article are below:

Symposium info & brochure
Request for Transparency petition
Read the article, "When the Person Who Raises Their Hand Becomes the Problem"
The Marketing Machine coaching (founding cohort)
LifeX Marketing

My sister Kristi is a registered nurse. Last fall she went to Ukraine with a Christian humanitarian organization to teach Stop the Bleed, a course that trains ordinary people to keep someone alive long enough for help to arrive. In a country where medics and first responders are targets, that training is often the difference.

In this conversation she tells me about arriving in a city that had been shelled hours earlier, the host who told them his family prays for their lives every night before bed and then said "I'm not joking," and the first night she spent waiting out a drone in a basement.

She also tells me about the high schoolers. Over a hundred of them, ninth through eleventh grade, packing wounds and asking questions about injuries most American adults have never had to picture.

And she tells me what the Ukrainians asked her to do when she got home.

I think you'll find her answer at the end enlightening. I did.

Unfeigned Christianity is the podcast where we seek to become a people who are theologically anchored in Jesus and emotionally healthy, so we can love and disciple others well.

00:00 Introduction to Kristi's background and mission in Ukraine
07:12 Why Kristi decided to go to Ukraine during the war
16:37 First impressions and the reality of living in a war zone
21:17 Experiences of air raids and drone attacks
26:40 Resilience and hope among Ukrainians
30:55 Teaching stop the bleed to Ukrainian youth
35:19 The message of hope and not being forgotten
38:35 Lessons learned about faith and suffering in war
44:48 Advice for those considering service in crisis zones

AI can write a passable paper in thirty seconds. It can edit your podcast, draft your emails, and brainstorm your strategy. So why do so many of us feel busier and more burned out than ever?

In this episode, Asher talks with his coworker Stuart Mullet, a former literature teacher who now works alongside him in marketing, about what it means to build a healthy relationship with AI. They get into writing as an act of discovery, the sociology of why time-saving tools keep speeding up our lives, and the quieter spiritual question underneath it all: we serve a God who didn't remove Paul's thorn, but AI is built to remove every thorn it can find.

It's a conversation between two people who use AI every day and are still trying to figure out how to do it well. Honest about the benefits, honest about the costs, and rooted in the conviction that suffering and toil are part of how we're formed, not problems to be optimized away.

00:00 Introduction to AI's Impact on Work and Learning
02:13 Guest Introduction: Stuart Mullet's Background
03:52 Building a Healthy Relationship with AI
12:11 Writing as an Act of Discovery
22:37 The Value of Deep Engagement with Sources
30:46 Time Saving and Social Acceleration
41:15 Ethical Considerations and Supporting Core Values
56:43 AI and Pastoral Care

Joe Kuepfer grew up in Kenya in the nineties watching people he knew die of AIDS and watching people he knew go hungry. He also watched a bicycle taxi driver put a little money into a co-op every week and start to climb. That second memory has shaped his life's work.

Joe served eleven and a half years with Open Hands, spent time in Nepal, and has just gone back full-time with Detroit Junk Busters, a business whose profits support a Christian school in the city. In this conversation, he and Asher talk about savings and credit groups, how they differ from microfinance, why relief and development are both necessary and why confusing the two does real harm, and what it looks like for a business to be genuinely missional rather than just profitable with a Bible verse on the wall.

Asher brings his own wrestling to the table: the mentoring relationships that went sideways, the handyman work in LA that was inefficient on purpose, and the idea he's been chewing on for a couple of years now, that money might be fuel for shalom.

Learn more about Team Pulse at https://teampulse.us/signup?ref=asher-witmer. If you would like to grab the two months free, use the promo code Z867DH0O at checkout. Learn more about the Unfeigned Christianity Membership program at asherwitmer.com/member.Chapters

02:43 Understanding Poverty and Sustainable Living
05:43 The Role of Savings Groups in Alleviating Poverty
08:47 Microfinance vs. Savings Groups
11:40 The Holistic Approach to Helping the Poor
14:51 The Importance of Context in Helping the Poor
17:36 Theological Motivations for Helping the Poor
20:32 Using Money as a Tool for Shalom
23:15 Discipleship and Community in Savings Groups
29:43 Understanding Poverty and Addiction in the U.S.
31:23 Business as Mission: A New Perspective
36:30 The Role of Business in Community Development
44:57 Lessons from Savings Groups and Community Support
49:29 Getting Involved: Practical Steps for Mission-Driven Work

Bob Kulp hid pornography, and eventually paid sex, through most of three decades of marriage. He thought marriage would fix his lust. He thought confessing would heal it. Both were wrong. In this honest conversation, Bob walks us through the long road toward wholeness: white-knuckling that never held, the night his wife Laura put divorce on the table, the counselor who made him feel her pain, and the shift from being "free from" sin to being "free for" the people he loves. Forgiveness came quickly. Trust took years. Bob and Laura now serve couples together through Delight Your Marriage.

The next Live Free Mentorship cohort is now open, but closes tonight! Details and the link here.

You can learn more about Bob's work at Delight Your Marriage here.

I'd written a whole book about overcoming pornography before I ever sat across from a counselor and got asked the one question that changed everything: what is that part of you actually trying to do for you?

My guest is Rick Manabat, a licensed therapist and the founder of Pneuma Counseling, who has walked with me personally for nearly two years now. In this conversation we get into Internal Family Systems, often called parts work. Rick explains the wounded parts we exile, the managers and firefighters that scramble to protect them, and the self that God uses to bring healing. We talk about why sexual addiction is usually a story being acted out, why curiosity does what condemnation can't, and how all of this holds together with a faith that takes sin seriously. If you've been white-knuckling your way through the same struggle for years, this one's for you.

The next Live Free Mentorship cohort is now open. Details and the link here.

Rick's practice: Pneuma Counseling

A small comment from my wife about picking peaches set off a soundtrack I'd carried for years. In this episode I show you exactly how I worked through it, why our old wounds resurface in new seasons, and what it looks like to take our whole selves to Jesus instead of managing the shame or numbing it. We talk about why real freedom isn't about never being tempted again, but about knowing where to go when the temptation shows up. This is the third part of the Free for Real series, and the next mentorship cohort is now open. Details and the link here.

To catch up, watch—
Episode 1: https://youtu.be/SV1ahPyal6g?si=oJ87bDQ3JqCK-uqa
Episode 2: https://youtu.be/agmj6Z7NXlM?si=iis3btijNol30LKu

00:00 Navigating Emotional Soundtracks
05:53 Understanding Freedom from Temptation
09:06 The Impact of Wounding Experiences
15:50 Processing Triggers in Real Time
22:40 Reframing Self-Worth and Value
27:37 The Importance of Emotional Health

Confession is where healing starts — but it's not where it ends. In this episode, I dig into why so many men experience a cycle of confession, temporary freedom, and failure, and what's actually going on underneath the surface.

Drawing on the Internal Family Systems (IFS) framework, I walk through the emotional architecture behind unwanted sexual behavior — the exile (childhood wound and shame), the manager (how we cope), and the firefighter (the addictive behavior itself) — and explain why no amount of accountability or prayer can substitute for genuine emotional healing and story work.

This is part 2 of the Free for Real series. If you've ever wondered why you keep stumbling despite doing all the right things, this episode is for you.

Unfeigned Christianity exists to help people become theologically anchored in Jesus, emotionally healthy, and able to love and disciple others well.

 Purchase a copy of Live Free here.
 Join the Formation Circle here.
 Get your first month FREE with Accountable2You here.

00:00 The Illusion of Freedom from Pornography
02:34 The Cycle of Confession and Temptation
05:09 Pursuing Emotional Health and Wholeness
07:20 Understanding Triggers and Emotional Environments
10:33 The Impact of Past Experiences on Present Behavior
12:59 The Role of Shame and Identity in Healing
18:15 The Journey of Healing and Freedom
20:55 The Importance of Story Work in Emotional Healing
23:11 Navigating Emotional Triggers and Responses
25:44 The Framework of Internal Family Systems
28:06 Managing Shame and the Search for Purpose
30:53 The Cycle of Addiction and Emotional Management
33:30 Curiosity Over Condemnation in Healing
35:47 The Path to Understanding and Healing

Have you ever found lasting freedom from pornography — only to find it creeping back years later? You're not alone, and it doesn't mean you've failed.

In this first episode of the Free for Real series, I open up about his own experience returning to temptation after more than a decade of genuine freedom — and what my therapist said that changed my perspective: porn is like an old friend.

This episode digs beneath behavioral strategies and accountability software to ask a harder question: what emotional need is this filling? If pornography keeps coming back no matter how hard you fight, something deeper is going on — and that something is worth getting curious about.

You'll learn:

This is the beginning of a journey toward freedom that is lasting, honest, and rooted in emotional and spiritual health. If you've been carrying this alone, this episode is for you.

Part 1 of the Free for Real series. Next episode: What does emotional health actually look like?

 Join the Formation Circle here.
 Get your first month FREE with Accountable2You here.

00:00 Understanding the Old Friend: Pornography
02:39 The Journey of Recovery and Accountability
08:36 The Deeper Issues Behind Pornography Use
16:27 The Cycle of Temptation and Emotional Health
25:21 Pursuing Connection and Wholeness
33:23 Building Guardrails and Community Support

(Paid review — full disclosure.)

Have you ever wanted to connect more deeply with the people around you but didn't know how to get the conversation there?

I review Pathos, the emotional card game, in this episode — walking through how it works, what makes it different from other conversation games, how my family actually played it (which was not exactly by the book), and one specific moment where a card gave me a window into my wife I wouldn't have found otherwise.

I also share some honest questions I still have about the game — because a good review means naming the uncertainties too.

Buy Pathos directly from their website ($24). Learn about the Unfeigned Christianity Patreon Formation Circle.

00:00 The Desire for Connection
00:54 Introducing Pathos: The Emotional Card Game
02:51 Gameplay and Family Experience
09:51 Deepening Conversations Through Gameplay
15:19 Exploring Emotions and Insights
19:17 The Interconnection of Emotional and Spiritual Health