Unicorns and Hand Grenades

There ain't no lonelier journey than the one back to yourself when you're brave enough to acknowledge you're living unaligned and need to fight your way back to your truth. Then courageous enough to do something about it.   

And that's what we dive into in this incredible convo with Bree Le Roux, whose had more than one of those, "hell no, there's something coming I need to be brave enough to look at" kind of moments.  

You know it's going to be an epic conversation when 5 mins in your guest proclaims "Faark, it was hard!"  We did a lot of thinking out loud in this episode, and had a few revealing insights right in the middle of it, as well as our fair share of laughs!  

But most of all we hope this episode leaves you knowing that you don't have to show up shiny and bright all the time. 

That you can be brave enough to step into the fires of transformation knowing that doing the work is worth it.  That you're NOT alone, even if we're in a Level 4 Lockdown!  That facing the unimaginable is the gateway to the wisdom of knowing anything is possible. That if you push stuff down for too long you may end up crying on the treadmill or in the middle of a meeting .. (insert horrific, the world is going to end, type of emoji!)

We also play a game of "what if's? and share some questions to ask yourself that are game changers. 

This is a feel good, learn lot's and feel like you've been hanging in our lounge room conversation.  In a good way!  

Bree is an International Coach & Business Entrepreneur.  She's had over 10 years personal psychotherapy experience, has a Bachelor in Counselling is an ICF Certified Coach and so much more, as well as being a kick ass human whose not afraid to bring her whole self to the table to help others.  And for that we thank her.

You can learn more about the work she does at Bree Le Roux Coaching -  www.breeleroux.com or check her out on insta @breeleroux

And as always we love hearing from you! Keep connecting with us at www.unicornsandhandgrenades.com or on insta & facebook @unicornsandhandgrenadeslife

Send a text

Life - just because you're not nailing it all  of the time doesn't mean you're not doing it right.   And doing life right, if there even is such a thing, isn't measured by being in a constant state of happiness, or a constant state of pursuing happiness.

In this weeks convo we dive into all things 'happiness' and the pursuit of it.  What's your definition of happiness?  When was the last time you got intentional about defining what being "happy" is to you?  And is happy even the right word!  

In this world of constantly striving to do more, be more and have more,  we often miss the opportunity to par things back to basics.  To be present in any given moment with grace, gratitude and an acceptance for what is.  

Instant gratification, numbing, distraction, chasing validation from others, social media.... just a few of life's plug ins, and the things often done to feel "happier".

And here's the rub - life, happiness,  feeling all the feels; it's all an inside out game.  A game  that is all too often unknowingly played from the outside in.  And there ain't no winners in that kind of game.   

Also up for grabs in this episode:

• Happiness after loss and the associated guilt
• Everything that glitters isn't gold
• The stories that we tell ourselves that negatively impact our ability to be present
• Hiding behind a shield of 'things' when we don't feel whole enough 
• Beauty, joy & pain can all be intertwined
• Feeling all the feels can really SUCK
• Judgement when we're not our happy, shiny, selves all the time
• Perspective shifts

And loads more...

Thanks for joining us and we love hearing from you!  As always, you're suggestions & feedback really help shape what we do.  

You can connect with us on facebook or insta @unicornsandhandgrenades.life or flick us a message via www.unicornsandhandgrenades.com

Send a text

*trigger alert; see below.  What happens when you love what you do, but it causes you heart break?  The space between "Action & Cut" is the sweet spot in life for Actress Kim Crossman. It's the only place where she feels the Euphoria of being hyper-focused and fully present in the moment.  Not worried about the past or the future.  

Kim is an Actress, Author, Presenter, Pretty Depressed Podcast Host, and an Ambassador for  SPCA & World Vision.

This is such a powerful, real & raw conversation, where Kim  opens up her heart and shares with us her journey through depression,  recently experienced suicidal thoughts, the taboo around discussing them with others, her insights, learnings & wisdom.  She also shares her wicked sense of humor. 

We're so grateful to Kim for having the courage and vulnerability to share her story.   She does so because she knows the power of sharing stories when it comes to changing a culture and helping others.  And these are important conversations to have!

• Perfectionism & shame - always wanting to be better, do better
• Self worth & our own narratives
• When you're an actor and are really good at hiding your sadness
• High Functioning Depression (not often talked about)
• How can you support someone who opens up to you about being depressed
• Holding space for people
• Falling in love with people's potential
• People Pleasing 
• Reciprocity
• Therapy & unpacking the boxes in the basement of your brain
• Dealing with things before they end up dealing to you
• Time & energy as a limited resource
• When people disappoint us
• Catastrophizing
• Shine the light on the darkness and the darkness dissipates 

Thanks as always for your continued support and please stay connected, feedback & suggestions always welcome, you can slide into our DM's on Insta and FB @unicornsandhandgrenades.life or via www.unicornsandhandgrenades.com

If you need emotional support please head to www.findahelpline.com, where you can find the helpline number for whatever country you live in.  They are also on Insta @findahelpline.  If NZ text 1735 

Send a text

We can't always choose what happens to us in life, but we can choose how we move through the aftermath of  our metaphorical hand grenade moments.  We can choose to pick ourselves up and do the work of healing, 

We can choose to transmute the pain into lessons learned & wisdom earned. And we can choose to keep ourselves & our hearts open to the Kaleidoscope that's life and ALL it has to offer.  

We can choose to live ALL in with intent.  Knowingly.  Aware that it likely means we'll encounter more "opportunities to learn" (aka get our butts kicked).   We can choose to make choices based on trusting the wisdom & the intuition we've honed by walking through the fire to get out the other side. 

The alternative is living a half-assed life where we keep guard rails around our hearts to keep us safe.  And that alternative earns a big, fat, no-thanks, from us. 

Brutal honesty about lessons learned & things we've had to unlearn is what you'll find inside this conversation.  As well as brutal honesty you'll find hope, laughs and some questions to reflect on.  Plus so much more. 

Life lessons can be brutal, and beautiful, and every messy place in between.  But for us individually they've opened us up to a world we didn't see before.  A world of possibilities.  A world of "what if's"...

Thanks for joining us, and our incredible guests each week.  We appreciate you.  As always we love hearing from you so keep reaching out on on f/b & insta @unicornsandhandgrenades.life or at www.unicornsandhandgrenades.com

Send a text

This week we're joined by Resilience Speaker and Author, Mark Wales.  Bear Grylls described Mark's new book, Survivor - a life in the SAS,  as "A powerful & honest story of courage, redemption and finding purpose".  Join us for this inspiring convo centred around all things transformation, resilience, growth and purpose.  A few of our favourite things.

We hope it reminds you of the importance of knowing what you stand for in life and chasing things that align with that, before we all turn back into the stardust we came from. 

Mark is a former SAS Special Ops Commander who completed 10 Tour of Duties in Afghanistan, the last of which saw him witness his mentor being gunned down.  After returning home he began the process of rebuilding his life, from the ground up.   

Also hanging out on his CV: an MBA from an Ivy League Business School in the US,  Speaker, Founder of Kill Kapture, and competitor in the Australian TV series Survivor & Amazons Bear Grylls World's Toughest Race. 

We covered so much:

• How failure is an amazing liberator
• Unlearning & re-learning
• Letting curiosity guide you
• What happens when our identity is stripped away
• The importance of finding your tribe
• The only way not to fail is not to do anything
• Creating your own path vs running down someone elses
• The importance of asking for help 
• Fixed vs growth mindsets
• How we can achieve great results 
• Chasing what you were put on this planet to do
• Legacies

...and so much more.  We hope you walk away from it feeling inspired to chase what is important to you if you're not already on that path.  

You can learn more about Mark at www.markwales.com.au and you can find his book wherever great books are sold. 

Big Love 
Jax & Kim x

Thanks for your support and stay connected, we love hearing from you.  You know where to find us:  www.unicornsandhandgrenades.com or facebook & insta @unicornsandhandgrenades.life

Send a text

In this episode we dive deep into everything fear related.  Because let's face it,  a life lived in fear is a life not fully lived.  Fear lets us know we're alive.  Like any of the other emotions that pass through us, it's a vibration, & an energy. 

We get to choose our relationship with it.  We can let it keep us small,  comfortable, safe & unseen.  Which it's originally designed to do OR... we can transmute its energy & use it as an enabler to success.  

Because the only difference between a healthy does of fear, vs excitement, is the lens of thinking we layer over it.  Yup it's our beautiful brains going to work to protect us from that saber tooth tiger or man eating dinosaur.   

Oh but hang on, they don't roam the earth any more, so we dig into how helpful that primal response is and what actually triggers it in this day and age.

There is very little physiological difference between fear & excitement.  In fact we're suckers for predictable fear... cue scary movies, roller coaster rides & sky-diving.  The kind of fear we can immerse ourselves in with certainty that the outcome is likely one where we're ok.

But the fear of heart-break, loss, failure, being seen, uncertainty, well that's a whole other ball game, or is it?  Tune in as we challenge our thinking around our relationship to fear and how our hand grenade moments brought us so much freedom around it.  

The cool thing we discovered, you don't need a hand grenade moment to change up how fear can rule your life, you just need to be open to challenging some existing paradigms and thinking you have around it.  

Thanks as always for your support.  You can hang out in our conversations on facebook or instagram @unicornsandhandgrenades.life or at www.unicornsandhandgrenades.com drop us a message and let us know who and what you want to hear more about next.

Big love Jax & KIm x

Send a text

A combination of hand grenade moments led to this week's guest, Zane Munro, starting "For all the Brothers". A not for profit organisation focused on changing views around men's mental health.  

In fact, last weekend he walked 24 hours straight, over 110 kms and raised  $16500 for Lifeline NZ and I am Hope.  So he's not just talking the talk... he's actually walking the talk, literally, all 110km's of it. 

This is one of those wisdom packed convos that's equally powerful for all the sisters hanging out in listener land too. It will give you an insight into why it's sometimes difficult for the men in your life to open up when it comes to talking about their feelings and processing emotions.  Especially with the women in their lives.  Hell let's face it, in general.   

Zane openly shares with us his healing journey, his growth and his insights.  We laugh, we cry... well we don't really cry, but we do talk about crying, and why it's hard for men to cry in front of women. Plus a whole lot more...

• The power of community & connection
• Everyone is going through, has been OR will be going through something...
• ...so we're never as alone as we feel
• The power of sharing our stories in an honest, genuine & vulnerable way
• Childhood Trauma and how it impacts us as adults
• Opening the door for men to have vulnerable convos with the women in their lives
• Self love & knowing our worth
• How long does it take to heal, about as long as a ball of string is!
• Bacon & Egg Pie
• Strategies to grow Mental Wellness

and heaps more...

To connect with Zane and For all the Brothers you can head on over to insta @forallthebrothers

We hope you enjoy this one as much as we enjoyed recording it. Keep the feedback coming we love connecting with you, you can join the convo at insta & facebook : 
@unicornsandhandgrenades.life or come visit our website www.unicornsandhandgrenades.com

If you need emotional support please head to www.findahelpline.com, where you can find the helpline number for whatever country you live in.  They are also on Insta @findahelpline 

Big Love - Jax & Kim x

Send a text

How do we live a life aligned to who we truly are?  It's a question that's pondered throughout the ages by philosophers and us common folk alike.  Followed closely by the next question... How do we manage to stay grounded in our alignment when life starts coming at us full force.  

So based on some recent listener feedback, and our own lived experience, it's a question we chose to muse on in this episode too.  

We speak from the heart around what it means to us, and how we've fought hard to get to the place where we can say we're genuinely living with open hearts and in alignment with ourselves.  Despite our hand grenade moments & our heart break. On reflection, maybe even because of those two things.

We also talk through:

• What alignment looked like to us before our hand grenade moments vs now
• Feeling trapped
• How does the way we measure success in life affect our ability to live an aligned life
• Aligned to what....?
• Protecting sacred space for ourselves
• The importance of dropping out of the "doing" space and stepping into "being" more
• Living life in black & white vs color
• Being alone vs enjoying solitude
• Acceptance & surrender & the part they play on the journey to alignment
• Do we have to fully align in the work we do & what does that look like
• Meaning making in life
• Not taking it all too seriously and embracing that sense of play

And lots more.  We love having you drop in on these conversations as much as we love you sharing your feedback.  So keep the connection coming, you can find us on www.unicornsandhandgrenades.com and on insta & facebook: @unicornsandhandgrenades.life

Go forth & slay your week.  Big Love, Jax & Kim 

Send a text

Stress can be a b*tch, but it's also a necessary and unavoidable part of life.  The other necessary part of life is taking ownership for the way we process and deal with stress in the midst of our hand grenade moments.

In this episode we get real about stress, burnout & our experience of both.   We share our most recent experiences with stress, as well as uncovering what we keep learning along the way and how we process it differently now. 

Did you know our stress cycle has a beginning, a middle and an end?   But how often do we just lurch from one crisis,  to another?  Without allowing our bodies to complete their stress cycle process?  And then what happens when we do that, you guessed it, we get stuck!  

We end up burying emotion, & carrying it, like a giant backpack full of bricks.   Until we can't carry it anymore.  Cue Emotional Exhaustion.  The thing that happens when we've been carrying too much for too long.  

We talk about the ground-breaking work of Emily & Amelia Nagoski  - from their book Burnout, the Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle.  And we share their simple, & scientifically proven, ways of completing the stress cycle.   There are seven, and the good news, you only need to do one of those seven to process your emotions, heal & move through the stress cycle out the other side to completion.  It's a game-changer.  

Enjoy, and as always thanks for your incredible support and your messages. We love hearing from you.  Keep em coming.

Big Love Kim & Jax. xx

Come join us on insta & facebook, for more content, we'd love to see you there. Or you can contact us via our website below.
@unicornsandhandgrenades.life
www.unicornsandhandgrenades.com 

Send a text

Jason Nockels joins us in an eye opening and candid conversation, where he shares with us what it was like growing up as a gay man, in a white middle class, military family in small town NZ.   Heads up... you're going to have to hold on to your Unicorn for this ride of an Episode, In a good way! 

He shares openly with us his journey, which at the core of it is about stepping into who you are and how you want to move through this world.  It's about challenging  EVERY entrenched belief you have and discovering what it looks like to rip up the rule book of life & completely rewrite it,  on your terms,  as you go.  

Imagine being told by a teacher at school that you're stupid, that you belong in the gutter and you should disappear into a black hole & die.  Jason didn't have to imagine, that was his lived experience, that and many other mind blowing moments like that.

In fact there are many points in this convo where the knee jerk response from us is simply - WOW! Wow said in disbelief, Wow said in respect, Wow said in shock & awe!   We're sure you will have your own wow moments as you listen in too.  There is also a fair few laughs along the way.

As well as sharing his story we discuss: 

• Moving from a long term relationship & monogamy to an open relationship
• Pros & cons of both 
• Liberation on all fronts
• Barriers & the purpose they play in survival
• Covid 19 career curve balls, break ups & revelations 
• Moving to Mexico
• Letting go of cultural conditioning & expectations
• Having to hide who you are
• Being shoved out of the closet vs dancing with gay abandon out of it
• Living in the shadow of the Rainbow
• Focusing on experiences vs outcomes 

& so much more! 

Enjoy.

As always if this convo brings up anything for you that you would like support on head to: 
www.findahelpline.com, where you can find the helpline number for whatever country you live in.  They are also on Insta @findahelpline or if in NZ text 1735 for support.

Send a text