“My way or the highway.” “I’m right, you’re wrong.” “Because I said so.” We’ve all heard these lines before and maybe we’ve even spoken them ourselves. They’re the kinds of phrases that signal closed mindedness, a hardened heart, and a spirit unwilling to listen. And in a world that feels increasingly divided this kind of posture doesn’t just end conversations… it deepens wounds. It breeds anger, resentment, and the belief that life is a zero-sum game where someone must win and someone must lose.

It causes frustration and when we’re frustrated, it’s easy to vent to a friend or complain to a coworker. And while venting might offer temporary relief, it rarely transforms the situation — or us. But what if, instead of leaping straight to defensiveness or irritation, we paused long enough to get curious? What if we wondered why someone acts the way they do, or what experiences shaped their perspective?

That tiny shift — from judgment to curiosity — can be revealing. It can soften our edges. It can remind us that most people aren’t out to hurt us; they’re simply navigating life with the tools they have, just like we are. God calls us to love one another, and love isn’t possible without three essential ingredients: kindness, the willingness to receive people exactly as they are, and curiosity. All three ask us to loosen our grip on pride. In this season of Advent, Father Pat McGrath invites us to notice where pride may be crowding out connection — and to carve out space for humility: the humility to listen and to discover that the person on the other side of the argument isn’t so different from us after all.