Venerable Tenzin mentions some books during this episode:

• The Overstory by Richard Powers
• Finding the Mother Tree by Suzanne Simard
• Braiding Sweetgrass by Robin Wall Kimmerer
• Born to Be Good by Dacher Keltner

This interview was recorded in front of a live Zoom audience as part of the Healing the Body, Healing the Mind Online Conference in partnership with Jamyang Buddhist Center’s Science and Wisdom LIVE project.

Ven Tenzin mentioned a number of links during this episode, and they're here for your convenience.

• https://www.flare.com/identity/self-care-new-zealand-muslim-attack/
• https://www.healthline.com/health/when-self-care-becomes-community-care#Were-responsible-for-each-other
• https://www.ihollaback.org/bystanderintervention/

Ven. Tenzin and Greg are co-teaching the Compassion Cultivation Training beginning June 30, click here for more information.

Ven Tenzin mentioned some web links during this episode, which are listed below.

https://onbeing.org/programs/ross-gay-tending-joy-and-practicing-delight/ https://www.npr.org/2021/02/18/969032187/the-gratitude-chain-a-j-jacobs https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9aT0A28IW7E

Dr Ekman mentions an upcoming summit in the podcast.  If of interest, the link is below.

Explore the Science, Wisdom, and Power of Emotions
with His Holiness the Dalai Lama
and over 30 Leading Scientists + World Renowned Teachers

Join this Special Free Global Event
May 2-5, 2021

https://www.scienceandwisdomofemotions.com/

Characteristics of Anger:

• Theme: Being thwarted in pursuit of goal that matters to you
• Effects: Anger controls, punishes and retaliates
• Dangerous effect: Anger calls forth more anger. It is difficult not to respond to anger with anger, especially when it appears unjustified
• Why do people want to change anger?
• It is the dangerous emotion that can quickly hurt others, psychologically, and physically
• Many taught not to express anger -> guilt, shame
• For some own anger can get out of control -> fear

Common Anger Triggers

• Interference and lack of efficacy
• Disrespect
• Someone trying to hurt us
• Another person’s anger
• Injustice: both societal and personal (not being given credit for work)
• Disappointment in how a person has acted
• Betrayal, abandonment, rejection
• Being falsely accused
• Breaking a cultural rule

Anger Antidotes

• Put yourself in the other person’s shoes
• Don’t take it personally!
• Is the other person mirroring your own unwanted qualities?
• Do you have a need that is not being met?
• Check your expectation!
• Check for an underlying emotion (fear, hurt, vulnerability)
• Is there an important message?
• Keep a healthy distance from triggering objects!
• Cultivating loving-kindness and compassion

Today's episode includes a couple of lists of qualities, which are jotted down here for your ease of reference.

Qualities of a true friend, according to the Buddha.

• Is a help and support
• Is the same in happiness and sorrow
• Advises his friend for his welfare
• Is sympathetic

Ven Tenzin also mentions Jean Baker Miller's list of five phenomena of growth-enhancing relationships.

• Each person feels a great sense of zest (vitality).
• Each person feels more able to act, and does act.
• Each person has a more accurate picture of her/himself and the other person(s).
• Each person feels a greater sense of self-worth.
• Each person feels more connected to the other person(s) and greater motivation for connections with other people.