unMASKing with Male Educators: Creating Emotionally Safe Classrooms & Schools for Male Students

“One of my deep beliefs and convictions is that we live in a society where people are hyper-focused on getting their point across and having their point of view heard and seen. And therefore they do not develop the muscle and/or ability to provide people the same space and latitude that they want for themselves. So I’ve taken it upon myself to be someone who stands in that gap, who sits in that gap, who holds the tension of [that gap].” - Dax-Devlon Ross

Ever Forward Club’s Ashanti Branch is joined by Dax-Devlon Ross. Dax is the author of six books, and his journalism has been featured in Time, The Guardian, The New York Times, Virginia Quarterly Review, Nonprofit Quarterly, The Washington Post Magazine, and other national publications. A New York City teaching fellow turned non-profit executive, Dax is now a principal at the social impact consultancies Dax-Dev and Third Settlements, both of which focus on designing disruptive strategies to generate equity in workplaces and education spaces alike. Dax speaks with great conviction, and we are excited for you to experience this as he and Ashanti discuss their masks, the importance of friendship, and navigating the pitfalls of the dominant culture.

(5:45) Ashanti and Dax say hello. Then, Dax introduces himself, his name, his writing, and how he works to make sure every human being can thrive.

(12:50) After Ashanti shares how he felt guilt whenever he got good grades, Dax some of the class guilt he held onto while he was growing up.

(19:10) Ashanti and Dax make their masks together.

(24:30) Ashanti shares the front of his mask - serious, dedicated, others before self - and how unsure he feels about putting others before himself.

(27:15) Dax shares the front of his mask - intellect, family man/provider, bridge builder - and the roles he wants to play as a writer, a relative, and a worker.

(32:15) Ashanti shares the back of his mask - tired, self-doubt, worrier vs. warrior - and he and Dax discuss how hard it is to extricate themselves from the scarcity mindset/dominant culture.

(36:30) Dax shares the back of his mask - a longing for connection and friendship, anxiety over financial future, anxiety over physical and mental decline.

(40:30) Dax and Ashanti ponder male friendships and how they have been affected by the over-sexualization of our society.

(46:30) Dax reflects on how it felt making a mask. Then, he and Ashanti share some final thoughts on how men and boys can break out of “the straight jacket.”

(53:00) Dax shares how you can connect with him.

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Connect with Dax-Devlon Ross:

Website: dax-dev.com

LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/dax-devlon-ross-69b3749

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Support the podcast and the work of the Ever Forward Club: anchor.fm/branch-speaks/support

Create your own mask anonymously at millionmask.org

If you are interested in being on the Face to Face podcast, email us at [email protected]

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Connect with Ashanti Branch:

Instagram: instagram.com/branchspeaks

Facebook: facebook.com/BranchSpeaks

Twitter: twitter.com/BranchSpeaks

LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/ashantibranch

Website: branchspeaks.com

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“It’s like having orange street cones there. You see ‘em. You know they’re there, but you can blow past them and it’s not going to stop you. That was my story ten years ago... I had to say it’s not about some external circumstance. It’s about what am I choosing.” - Jim Young, on chasing self-worth through work

Ever Forward Club’s Ashanti Branch is joined by Jim Young. In addition to being a wildflower collector that loves working in his garden, Jim is a men's burnout coach, an improv comedian, an author, a speaker, and a facilitator. Jim’s overarching mission is to explore “expansive intimacy” - a way of being that allows us to connect deeply with people across all realms of our life. In this conversation, Jim and Ashanti find a lot in common, namely, their mama’s boy mentalities, there struggle with setting boundaries with their work life, and their belief that, as Jim puts it, “life is best when shared intimately”.

(7:20) Jim introduces himself and what makes him the master of dad jokes.

(10:20) Jim shares the front of his mask - calm, funny, helpful - and breaks down the corresponding image he drew.

(13:05) Ashanti shares the front of his mask - funny, caring, hard-working (busy) - and finds common ground in Jim’s writing on burnout. Then, he and Jim discuss men’s relationship with the act of caring.

(21:15) Jim shares the back of his mask - insecure, wannabe mama’s boy, critic - and runs through all the thoughts that are firing through his mind as he navigates himself and the world.

(25:35) Ashanti shares the back of his mask - Am I Enough, Worried, “I need a vacation”. He breaks down how he feels overloaded as a leader and what it felt like once he began to unload. Then, Jim relates to Ashanti’s sentiments with one key word: spaciousness.

(36:05) Jim and Ashanti discuss the natural guardrails of life and how easy it is to blow through them in unhealthy ways.

(43:50) Ashanti takes the time to appreciate his nephew, redefine success, and breaks down the five F’s.

(48:50) Jim shares a final message for the audience. Then, he shares how you can get in touch with him.

Connect with Jim Young:

Website: thecenteredcoach.com

LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/thecenteredcoach

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Support the podcast and the work of the Ever Forward Club: anchor.fm/branch-speaks/support

Create your own mask anonymously at millionmask.org

If you are interested in being on the Face to Face podcast, email us at [email protected]

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Connect with Ashanti Branch:

Instagram: instagram.com/branchspeaks

Facebook: facebook.com/BranchSpeaks

Twitter: twitter.com/BranchSpeaks

LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/ashantibranch

Website: branchspeaks.com

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“I think that - something I think we should just say and admit in life - is that the large majority of your day you can’t expect to be experiencing happiness. Happiness has to be something that’s abnormal otherwise it wouldn’t be real… I have a very busy schedule, and I feel like I’m always trying to get something. I’m kind of always trying to be happy - and you should always try to be happy - but I think we don’t say you’re not going to be happy a lot of the time… And it’s just normal.” - Selim

This TOTM Face to Face conversation is between Mohandas and Selim. Mohandas is the Ever Forward Club’s Youth Host, whom you can get to know more about in episode 83. Selim is Mohandas’s friend since childhood, currently a freshman and UC Santa Cruz and an excellent competitive ultimate frisbee player. By playing the card game "Ever Forward Club: The Adventure", Mohandas and Selim have a chance to reminisce on their friendship and reflect on how they project themselves to the world.

(7:00) Selim and Mohandas check in with each other.

(9:00) Then Selim and Mohandas begin answering questions from the Ever Forward Club: The Adventure card game.

(9:30) Question 1: Who is someone you are currently missing?

(12:50) Question 2: What is a characteristic about yourself that you don’t talk about much? Selim shares a little bit about his artistic side, and Mohandas talks about how he holds the “wild child” in.

(17:05) Question 3: Have you ever told someone that you loved them and didn’t mean it? If so, why?

(18:30) Question 4: What are you most afraid of?

(20:30) Question 5: What are some things that you feel that you wish you could say out loud? Selim and Mohandas discuss the temporary nature of happiness.

(25:30) Question 6: What is a dream that you’ve let go of?

(29:25) Question 7: What is a lie that you tell yourself about yourself that you need to stop telling?

(31:30) Question 8: Describe a time when you changed your mind about something that you once strongly believed.

(34:00) Question 9: Name something that you could do to improve your life. What’s stopping you?

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Connect with Mohandas & Selim

Selim: https://www.instagram.com/8miles4354/

Mohandas: https://www.instagram.com/moduewa/

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Support the podcast and the work of the Ever Forward Club: anchor.fm/branch-speaks/support

Create your own mask anonymously at millionmask.org

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Connect with Ashanti Branch:

Instagram: instagram.com/branchspeaks

Facebook: facebook.com/BranchSpeaks

Twitter: twitter.com/BranchSpeaks

LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/ashantibranch

Website: branchspeaks.com

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Send in a voice message:

anchor.fm/branch-speaks/message

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Connect with Ever Forward Club:

Instagram: instagram.com/everforward

Facebook: facebook.com/everforwardclub

Twitter: twitter.com/everforwardclub

LinkedIn: linkedin.com/company/the-ever-forward-club

“I’ve been seeking truth in life more and more. For such a long time, I felt like my truth wasn’t accepted in spaces or whenever I even tried to speak truth that was denied, in a sense. And for me, it has been a liberation of really being able to just live in truth and honesty - of what really matters to me and my own feelings and internal life.” - Marcelo Peterlini

Ever Forward Club’s Ashanti Branch is joined by Marcelo Peterlini. Marcelo is from São Paulo, Brazil, and is currently working as the Programming Director at Latin American Leadership Academy, where he is devoting his life to building a youth leadership community in Latin America that can evoke the best of humanity. One of Marcelo’s mentees, Breno, was, in fact, the guest on the very first episode of this podcast. But, as the podcast comes full circle, Marcelo and Ashanti have a conversation that embraces the fact that life is a bit messier - and never as clean as the perfect circle we want it to be. Enjoy the episode!

(1:15) Ashanti’s introduction.

(5:30) Marcelo introduces himself and why he considers himself a “heart-centered” person. Then, he and Ashanti look back on their humble beginnings.

(13:30) Ashanti and Marcelo make their masks together.

(14:00) Ashanti shares the front of his mask - heart-centered, hard-working, serious - and tells a quick story of how he got “worked up” at the workplace recently and remembered to own his feelings.

(17:35) Marcelo shares the front of his mask - loving man, truth, passion - and expresses the importance of putting “loving” and “man” side by side. Then, he and Ashanti embrace the messy side of life.

(30:10) Ashanti shares the back of his mask - fear of failure, doubt, not being effective - and looks back on a recent session he had with his coach.

(37:45) Marcelo shares the back of his mask - sadness, melancholy, prove myself/belonging - and it leads him and Ashanti into a conversation about the transitory nature of dark days.

(50:00) Ashanti and Marcelo take time to appreciate one another.

(53:40) Marcelo shares how you can get in touch with him.

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Connect with Marcelo Peterlini:

Instagram: instagram.com/somos_lala

Website: latinamericanleadershipacademy.org

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Support the podcast and the work of the Ever Forward Club: anchor.fm/branch-speaks/support

Create your own mask anonymously at millionmask.org

If you are interested in being on the Face to Face podcast, email us at [email protected]

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Connect with Ashanti Branch:

Instagram: instagram.com/branchspeaks

Facebook: facebook.com/BranchSpeaks

Twitter: twitter.com/BranchSpeaks

LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/ashantibranch

Website: branchspeaks.com

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Send in a voice message:

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E111. Call Me Man - with Man Le, Husband, Father, Nurse, & EFC Alumnus

“If I walk into a room, they’re gonna feel it. They’re gonna feel my positivity. I’m trying to smile as much as possible, especially with the job that I’m doing. I got to be able to - regardless of what the situation is - show a smile, be positive. You run into some tough situations with the job I’m in. So, I just got to do my best to show the positivity, to light up the room somehow.” - Man Le

Ever Forward Club’s Ashanti Branch is joined by Man Le. Man is one of the original members of the Ever Forward Club, a student of Ashanti’s at San Lorenzo High School. Nearly 20 years later, he is now a nurse and a loving father and husband based in San Diego, California. Please enjoy Man and Ashanti as they reminisce about old times, give merit to life paths outside of the conventional route, and share how they take off their masks and decompress in different ways.

(0:50) Ashanti’s introduction.

(5:55) Ashanti and Man make their masks together and reflect on their time in the Ever Forward Club.

(10:40) Man introduces himself. He shares his origins, how he met Ashanti, and how he got involved with the Ever Forward Club.

(13:35) Ashanti and Man look at some old photos together. Our podcast is in video format on Spotify and Youtube.

(16:45) Ashanti shares the front of his mask - serious, hard-working, dedicated

(18:40) Man shares the front of his mask - positivity, always trust, consistency - and he and Ashanti give gratitude to one another.

(22:55) Ashanti shares the back of his mask - fear of failure, worry, “what am I doing” - and explains how he defines “giving his best”.

(26:55) Man shares the back of his mask - sadness - and how he and his wife are always there for each other. Then, he explains how he learns from all of his failures and how certain hobbies keep him mentally healthy.

(39:10) Ashanti and Man celebrate life’s “non-traditional” paths. Then, Man provides a challenge for the listeners.

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Support the podcast and the work of the Ever Forward Club: anchor.fm/branch-speaks/support

Create your own mask anonymously at millionmask.org

If you are interested in being on the Face to Face podcast, email us at [email protected]

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Connect with Ashanti Branch:

Instagram: instagram.com/branchspeaks

Facebook: facebook.com/BranchSpeaks

Twitter: twitter.com/BranchSpeaks

LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/ashantibranch

Website: branchspeaks.com

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Send in a voice message:

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Connect with Ever Forward Club:

Instagram: instagram.com/everforward

Facebook: facebook.com/everforwardclub

Twitter: twitter.com/everforwardclub

LinkedIn: linkedin.com/company/the-ever-forward-club

“I find that when I was a kid I wasn’t validated a lot, and I wanted that. I used to internalize that… So I always felt like not having that in my formative years - that validation, that love, that security -  it affects me now. So for me, going through therapy and going all the way back… those formative years are really important. The picture, the self-perception, you have as a kid, a lot of that stuff stays with you.” - Muhammad Bilal

Ever Forward Club’s Ashanti Branch is joined by Muhammad Bilal. Muhammad is an African American filmmaker, actor, and educational consultant from the South Side of Chicago. His film, The Blue Cave, won 22 awards and was accepted into 42 film festivals worldwide in 2021, and it is now airing on Short & Fresh on REVOLT TV. Now in post-production on a new film, Perdido, Muhammad has always demonstrated a high level of compassion and empathy for individuals in their formative years. We are so lucky to have Muhammad on our side, fighting for a kinder, more understanding world through his many talents.

(1:55) Ashanti’s introduction.

(6:30) Muhammad introduces himself and shares some details about his career in film and education.

(8:55) Muhammad talks about two of his films, “The Blue Cave” and “Perdido.” And he and Ashanti share their thoughts on police brutality and vicarious trauma.

(16:15) Muhammad shares the front of his mask - creative, strategic, successful.

(17:00) Ashanti shares the front of his mask - serious, concerned, caring - and he shares some concerns he has for his community in Oakland. Then, he and Muhammad continue to discuss how guns and policing can affect someone’s psyche, whether it be through direct or indirect encounters.

(29:00) Muhammad shares the back of his mask - depressed, pessimistic, perfectionist.

(30:00) Ashanti shares the back of his mask - worry, doubt, pressure - and he and Muhammad look back on their formative years, and how childhood experiences and dynamics never go away.

(41:00) They continue discussing youth wellness and how PTSD drives us into one of three responses - fight, flight, or freeze.

(47:45) Muhammad shares how you can get in touch with him.

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Connect with Muhammad Bilal:

Instagram: instagram.com/bilalworldentertainment

The Blue Cave: instagram.com/the_blue_cave_

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Support the podcast and the work of the Ever Forward Club: anchor.fm/branch-speaks/support

Create your own mask anonymously at millionmask.org

If you are interested in being on the Face to Face podcast, email us at [email protected]

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Connect with Ashanti Branch:

Instagram: instagram.com/branchspeaks

Facebook: facebook.com/BranchSpeaks

Twitter: twitter.com/BranchSpeaks

LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/ashantibranch

Website: branchspeaks.com

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Send in a voice message:

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“The hardest day - the one that comes to mind - is moving from Oakland to San Luis Obispo. ‘Cause that hurt. A lot. ‘Cause I was leaving my home, I was leaving the home that I knew… It was a new place… And it was new people and I was leaving everyone that I knew and really loved, like you and Ishmael and Gabriel and… I was leaving you. And that really hurt.” - Eli

This TOTM Face to Face conversation is between Mohandas and Eli. Mohandas is the Ever Forward Club’s Youth Host, whom you can get to know more about in episode 83. Eli is Mohandas’s friend since childhood, currently a 12th grader based in San Luis Obispo, CA. By playing the card game "Ever Forward Club: The Adventure", Mohandas and Eli have a chance to reminisce on their friendship and reflect on how they project themselves to the world.

(1:50) Ashanti’s introduction.

(6:30) Mohandas and Eli say hello, and Mohandas explains how they will be playing the EFC: Adventure Card Game.

(7:40) “What is something that you need to spend more time doing?” Eli shares how he needs to study more, and Mohandas shares how he wants to “feed his soul” more often.

(9:30) “Describe a time when you did something embarrassing.” Mohandas describes an accident he had when he has 4 years old at a playdate. Then, Eli goes into detail about an old habit he had whenever he went to the beach.

(13:35) “Who in your life do you want to get to know on a deeper level, and why?” Mohandas thinks about some of his classmates that he doesn’t know well, and Eli expresses a desire to learn more about his grandparents.

(16:40) “What is one of the hardest days of your life?” Mohandas describes a scary experience had while surfing. Eli looks back on his move from Oakland to San Luis Obispo.

(22:10) Mohandas and Eli conclude their conversation with one more question card: “The image you have of yourself matches the image others have of you.”

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Donate to the podcast and the Ever Forward Club: anchor.fm/branch-speaks/support

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Create your own mask anonymously at millionmask.org

If you are interested in being on the Face to Face podcast, email us at [email protected]

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Connect with Ashanti Branch:

Instagram: instagram.com/branchspeaks

Facebook: facebook.com/BranchSpeaks

Twitter: twitter.com/BranchSpeaks

LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/ashantibranch

Website: branchspeaks.com

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Send in a voice message:

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Connect with Ever Forward Club:

Instagram: instagram.com/everforward

Facebook: facebook.com/everforwardclub

Twitter: twitter.com/everforwardclub

LinkedIn: linkedin.com/company/the-ever-forward-club

“The great positive stuff comes to you, and it’s like a nice little charm you can put in your pocket. But, when somebody comes down on you, it’s like a boulder that just sits on your shoulder. And it’s like, why’d I let that be the thing? Why can’t that be the charm where I’m like, ‘Alright yeah it’s there, but I got all this positivity. And I’m going to surround myself in that.’” - Marcus L. Strother

Ever Forward Club’s Ashanti Branch is joined by Marcus L. Strother. As President and CEO of Mentor California, Marcus is filled with decades of experience in the field of education and buoyed by his life as a father, husband, and community advocate. In this conversation, Marcus and Ashanti really hit the ground running; Ashanti even forgets to let Marcus introduce himself for the first twenty minutes of the conversation! Forgetfulness aside, we are excited for you to get to know Marcus and gain an appreciation for his dedication and thoughtful perspective on himself and the world around him.

(2:10) Ashanti’s introduction.

(4:20) Marcus shares that his car had gotten broken into recently. Then, he and Ashanti break down the language and intention behind a simple question, “How are you doing?”

(17:20) Ashanti and Marcus discuss the art and complexity of mentoring. Then they discuss how we can shift the roles, structures, and attitudes surrounding mentoring and teaching in our community.

(30:00) Marcus finally gets to introduce himself. He shares information about his work with Mentor California

(36:25) Ashanti and Marcus make their masks together and discuss how students may struggle with the mask activity.

(47:40) Marcus shares the front of his mask - father (figure), style, love - and shares how his students once saved his job.

(51:40) Ashanti shares the front of his mask - serious, dedicated, busy - and reflects on why one of the first things he shares with people is that he is “busy.”

(55:25) Ashanti shares the back of his mask - shame, doubt, what’s blocking my writing? Then, he looks back on his childhood and how he experienced internalized racism.

(59:40) Marcus shares the back of his mask - not enough, dad, tired - and ruminates on why negative criticism affects him much more than praise.

(1:08:05) Ashanti shares a recent experience with a mentee and how he chose “winning” over “supporting.”

(1:12:00) Marcus shares how you can get in touch with him.

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Connect with Marcus L. Strother:

Website: mentorcaliforniayouth.org

Instagram: instagram.com/marcuslstrother

Twitter: twitter.com/MarcusLStrother

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Create your own mask anonymously at millionmask.org

If you are interested in being on the Face to Face podcast, email us at [email protected]

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Connect with Ashanti Branch:

Instagram: instagram.com/branchspeaks

Facebook: facebook.com/BranchSpeaks

Twitter: twitter.com/BranchSpeaks

LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/ashantibranch

Website: branchspeaks.com

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Send in a voice message:

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“I need to take a look at myself in the mirror, and accept exactly who I am right now, on the journey of being who I really want to be.”

In the coastal forests of Oregon, there is a mirror hammered onto what remains of an old tree. Framing the mirror are the bones of a bull that has long passed. And, in this special episode of Taking Off The Mask, Ever Forward Club’s Ashanti Branch shares what he said to the mirror, to himself, a year ago during Convergence 6 - an event held by Sacred Sons.

Visiting the mirror is considered a ceremony. And this ceremony has a name: The Death Ceremony.

(0:30) Ashanti makes some announcements about what’s going on at the Ever Forward Club. Then, he describes his visit to Sacred Sons’ Convergence 6, up on the Oregon coast, and “The Death Ceremony.”

(12:25) Ashanti approaches and explains “The Death Ceremony.”

(15:35) Ashanti begins the ceremony. He looks himself in the mirror. He reflects on what he sees and recalls what he used to see in the mirror as a child.

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Create your own mask anonymously at millionmask.org

If you are interested in being on the Face to Face podcast, email us at [email protected]

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Connect with Ashanti Branch:

Instagram: instagram.com/branchspeaks

Facebook: facebook.com/BranchSpeaks

Twitter: twitter.com/BranchSpeaks

LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/ashantibranch

Website: branchspeaks.com

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Send in a voice message:

anchor.fm/branch-speaks/message

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Connect with Ever Forward Club:

Instagram: instagram.com/everforward

Facebook: facebook.com/everforwardclub

Twitter: twitter.com/everforwardclub

LinkedIn: linkedin.com/company/the-ever-forward-club

“Compassionate living should be the focus of our existence - or our existential life. Because, of all the things we are able to be, one thing that will stand us out, when we leave the world, is the feeling we left behind in the hearts of other people, and that feeling originates from a heart that is very compassionate. And that’s what drives me every day - to bring these feelings out and give it to the world out there.” - Ola Akinwe

Ever Forward Club’s Ashanti Branch is joined by Ola Akinwe. "The Humanitarian Guru" that hails from Lagos, Nigeria, Ola is a literacy activist that has been passionately equipping, inspiring, and teaching young minds to love, learn, live, and leave a legacy of an exemplary life since 2007. He is the founder of the Boys Mentoring Advocacy Network (BMAN), a Non-Governmental Organization that guides boys and adolescent males on their journey to a healthy, caring, respectful and responsible manhood. We look forward to you learning how Ola grounds himself in loyalty and compassion as he navigates his masks and this world.

(2:10) Ashanti’s introduction.

(5:00) Ola introduces himself and shares how he helps cultivate healthy and responsible boys in Nigeria. Then, he tells the origin story of Boys Mentoring Advocacy Network.

(10:20) Ashanti and Ola make their masks together.

(14:20) Ashanti shares the front of his mask- serious, dedicated, passionate - and how certain pressures are shaping the front of his mask.

(16:20) Ola shares the front of his mask - compassionate, loyalty, supportive - and why he believes that these traits are needed more and more in today’s world. He also shares the support he provides for the youth in Nigeria.

(25:10) Ashanti shares the back of his mask - self-doubt, confusion, fear - and how all three of these feelings contributed to him avoiding writing his book over the long weekend.

(29:00) Ola shares the back of his mask - vulnerability, worthlessness, afraid - and how these feelings stem from a pervasive and consuming “culture of achievement.” Then, he and Ashanti discuss how comparison is the thief of joy and how adults still need people to believe in them.

(43:00) Ola shares how he needs to overcome distrust when seeking a mentor and how books are a form of mentorship for him. They discuss the books As a Man Thinketh and The Secret of the Ages

(49:20) Ola gives his final message and provides his answer to the question, “why do you live?”

(56:55) Ola shares how you can get in touch with him.

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Connect with Ola Akinwe:

Website: bmanadvocacy.org

Instagram: instagram.com/bmanadvocacy

Facebook: facebook.com/bmanadvocacy

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Create your own mask anonymously at millionmask.org

If you are interested in being on the Face to Face podcast, email us at [email protected]

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Connect with Ashanti Branch:

Instagram: instagram.com/branchspeaks

Facebook: facebook.com/BranchSpeaks

Twitter: twitter.com/BranchSpeaks

LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/ashantibranch

Website: branchspeaks.com