unMASKing with Male Educators: Creating Emotionally Safe Classrooms & Schools for Male Students

“If anything, you’re on a journey. And if you want to use a metaphor of a kayak in a river, don’t worry about who’s looking on the shores. It’s just you and your paddle and the water.” - Tu David Phu

Ever Forward Club’s Ashanti Branch is joined by Tu David Phu. Tu is a renowned chef. You may recognize him from Bravo’s television show, “Top Chef”, or write-ups from the San Francisco Chronicle, or his documentary that aired on PBS, “Bloodline.” Tu boils life down to “living and loving righteously”. And he does this through filmmaking and “food justice” - whether it be sharing the therapeutic powers of cooking with incarcerated men, serving the Asian American community, or being a champion for sustainable cooking. His attitudes toward justice, masculinity, and power narratives were shaped at a young age. Enjoy learning about Chef Tu’s masks in this episode!

(2:10) Ashanti’s introduction.

(5:40) Ashanti and Tu discuss how America’s definition of masculinity is defined by violent Eurocentric narratives, which differ from many cultures around the world.

(10:30) Then, Ashanti and Tu look back on their childhood, and how narratives and systems that emasculate certain young men and boys strip them of their authentic identity.

(27:40) Tu shares some of the masks he encounters in the world of food and media, and how he is trying to live by what he preaches.

(32:20) Tu and Ashanti discuss the relationship between sports and the dominant masculine culture, and how it shields young minds off from a world of possibilities, careers, successes, and passions.

(40:40) Ashanti and Tu make their masks together.

(47:25) Tu shares the front of his mask - I am big and strong, I have tattoos, I am a chef - and the back of his mask - I cry, I do a baby voice with my puppies, I’ve experienced abuse.

(54:50) Ashanti shares the front of his mask - funny, serious, dedicated - and the back of his mask - fear of failure, momma is so important to me, worry about being enough.

(59:10) Tu shares how you can get in touch with him.

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Connect with Tu David Phu:

Website: cheftu.com

Watch “Bloodline”: cheftu.com/watch

Social Media: @cheftudavidphu

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Create your own mask anonymously at www.100kmasks.com

If you are interested in being on the Face to Face podcast, email us at [email protected]

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Connect with Ashanti Branch:

Instagram: instagram.com/branchspeaks

Facebook: facebook.com/BranchSpeaks

Twitter: twitter.com/BranchSpeaks

LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/ashantibranch

Website: branchspeaks.com

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Connect with Ever Forward Club:

Instagram: instagram.com/everforward

Facebook: facebook.com/everforwardclub

Twitter: twitter.com/everforwardclub

LinkedIn: linkedin.com/company/the-ever-forward-club

“As a guy, I want to be able to express my emotions. I would hate for other youth or young men to feel like they can’t do that. It’s such a narrow way of being. You miss out on such a huge experience if you don’t get to talk about how you’re doing.” - Nicholas M.

Ever Forward Club’s Ashanti Branch is joined by Nicholas M. As a Youth Outreach Worker, Nicholas provides 1-1 support to youth in the community. He meets his youth where they are, whether they just need some mentorship or they are dealing with anxiety and depression. Nicholas’s own mask, and the reason that supporting and mentoring youth resonates with him, is informed by his upbringing in South Africa. Now that he is in Vancouver, B.C., he’s navigating a new culture and honing in on what he expects from himself and what he’s looking for in friendships. Enjoy the conversation!

(1:25) Ashanti’s introduction.

(6:40) Nicholas introduces himself, his work, and his hobbies.

(8:55) Nicholas shares the front of his mask - friendly, kind, quiet. Then, Ashanti shares the front of his mask - passionate, serious, hard-working.

(13:15) Nicholas shares the back of his mask - insecure, self-doubt, lonely.

(15:00) Ashanti shares the back of his mask - overwhelmed, anger, self-doubt - and talks about how he dealt with a difficult workshop.

(21:05) Nicholas shares how he processes anger. And Ashanti relates to it through some work he’s been doing at a juvenile detention center.

(30:30) Nicholas sheds some more light on the work he does and how he was drawn to it.

(36:55) Nicholas looks back on his upbringing in South Africa drew him towards working with youth.

(43:30) Nicholas looks back on watching the documentary “The Mask You Live In” and shares his final message for young people. Then, talks about his friend and family groups and where he goes to take off his mask.

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Create your own mask anonymously at millionmask.org

If you are interested in being on the Face to Face podcast, email us at [email protected]

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Connect with Ashanti Branch:

Instagram: instagram.com/branchspeaks

Facebook: facebook.com/BranchSpeaks

Twitter: twitter.com/BranchSpeaks

LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/ashantibranch

Website: branchspeaks.com

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Connect with Ever Forward Club:

Instagram: instagram.com/everforward

Facebook: facebook.com/everforwardclub

Twitter: twitter.com/everforwardclub

LinkedIn: linkedin.com/company/the-ever-forward-club

“Public speaking has always made me very very nervous, on a neurological level. So there’s a part of me that feels safe when I’m writing because I can spend a really long time working through one sentence. And also I can make sure that it’s padded by all of the caveats…” - Jason Rogers

Ever Forward Club’s Ashanti Branch is joined by Jason Rogers. Jason is an Olympic medalist in fencing and a regular contributor to Men’s Health magazine. As an Olympic medalist, he spent most of his life conforming to unhealthy expectations of manhood. Now, he spends his time undoing these expectations by writing about the evolving state of masculinity. Jason and Ashanti share their masks, analyze the phenomenon of “public vulnerability”, and create space for a writer and a speaker to share where they lack confidence. Enjoy the show!

(2:00) Ashanti’s introduction.

(8:40) Jason introduces himself and his work. Then, he and Ashanti look back on how they first connected.

(11:45) Ashanti shares the front of his mask - serious, funny, caring - and he examines the cracks in his mask that come from his childhood.

(19:30) Jason shares the front of his mask - nice!, confident, easygoing - and how he found himself performing for the approval of others throughout his life.

(24:00) Ashanti shares the back of his mask - doubt, overwhelmed, fear - and opens up with some of the struggles of his work.

(29:00) Jason and Ashanti take a step back and ask the question, “why do we share publicly?” “Why are we publicly vulnerable?”

(32:40) Jason shares the back of his mask - selfish, judgmental, stressed - and how these elements of himself are habits within him that he is reconciling.

(35:30) Jason and Ashanti come back to the idea of public vulnerability.

(40:45) Ashanti examines how, as a public speaker, he struggles with writing. Then, Jason examines how, as a writer, he struggles with public speaking.

(50:45) Jason shares a final message and how you can get in touch with him.

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Connect with Jason Rogers:

Website: mandateletter.substack.com

Instagram: instagram.com/jasonrogersusa/

Twitter: twitter.com/JasonRogersUSA

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Create your own mask anonymously at millionmask.org

If you are interested in being on the Face to Face podcast, email us at [email protected]

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Connect with Ashanti Branch:

Instagram: instagram.com/branchspeaks

Facebook: facebook.com/BranchSpeaks

Twitter: twitter.com/BranchSpeaks

LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/ashantibranch

Website: branchspeaks.com

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“We all grow up with an accent. We all grow up speaking a language, an emotional language, and the longer we stay in that emotional language the harder it is to learn a new one.” - Dr. Steve Perry

Ever Forward Club’s Ashanti Branch is joined by Dr. Steve Perry. Dr. Perry is an educator, bestselling author, and the Founder and Head of Schools of Capital Preparatory Schools. Using his powerful voice to fight for disadvantaged children and families for over thirty years, you may have seen Dr. Perry on CNN and NBC, or with Oprah, P. Diddy, and Steve Harvey. Dr. Perry believes that the success of a life is not determined by where you start, but by where you end. He also believes that how you deal with your emotions is a major indicator of success. Some of these emotional languages are programmed deep within us - and, in this episode, Dr. Perry shows how he has found power in regulating his.

(2:20) Ashanti’s introduction.

(9:35) Ashanti and Dr. Perry take the time to appreciate one another, and Dr. Perry introduces himself.

(13:35) Dr. Perry reflects on a conversation he had with his son and what buoys the negative behaviors perpetuated by masculine archetypes.

(18:35) Then, he and Ashanti discuss killing and murder through the lens of people’s inability to deal with their emotions.

(25:10) Dr. Perry explains the power of acknowledging the limitations of your own personality.

(28:05) Then, Dr. Perry tells the story of a fight that broke out at one of his schools and how awareness of your own emotions helped confront the situation.

(32:35) Dr. Perry shares some words about humility and tells the story of a speaking engagement he had with an audience of ex-offenders.

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Connect with Dr. Steve Perry:

Website: drsteveperry.org

Facebook: facebook.com/DrStevePerry1

Twitter: twitter.com/DrStevePerry

Youtube: youtube.com/c/drsteveperry/featured

Instagram: instagram.com/drsteveperry

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Create your own mask anonymously at millionmask.org

If you are interested in being on the Face to Face podcast, email us at [email protected]

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Connect with Ashanti Branch:

Instagram: instagram.com/branchspeaks

Facebook: facebook.com/BranchSpeaks

Twitter: twitter.com/BranchSpeaks

LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/ashantibranch

Website: branchspeaks.com

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“I always want to avoid the pain as quickly as possible. But, guess what? You have half of your life - trying to get away, run away… And, when you try to work on that, you are now saying, ‘No, I’m not going to run away. I’m going to stay in my body. I’m going to be with that person I don’t want to be with, or make that war I don’t want to make. I’m going to grow consciously.’” - Samuel Trejo Aburto

Ever Forward Club’s Ashanti Branch is joined by Samuel Trejo Aburto. Samuel is passionate about “the evolution of the Being” on all levels. He’s passionate about individual Beings - what he refers to as internal engineering and healthy lifestyles - by applying theories such as the Enneagram Test to his life and his work. He’s passionate about the engineering of our planet - contributing his thoughts to NGOs focused on sustainable, non-motorized mobility. So, if you’ve read this far, you can tell Samuel is a high-minded individual. However, these high-minded concepts are very grounded in their application… We hope you enjoy learning about Samuel’s “internal engineering” :)

(1:35) Ashanti introduces Samuel and shares his thoughts on the tragedy in Uvalde, Texas.

(14:10) Samuel introduces himself. He talks about Puebla, Mexico, and what it means to be a seeker for unification according to Hindu teachings.

(19:40) Samuel shares the front of his mask and how he applies the Enneagram Test to the front of his mask. Samuel, according to the Enneagram, is often an “Enthusiast” and a “Perfectionist”. Then, he breaks down Ashanti’s Enneagram and shares some thoughts on why it’s important to surround yourself with people from different age groups.

(30:45) Ashanti shares the front of his mask - funny, dedicated, caring - and describes the “interceptor” that filters his feelings and changes how he presents himself.

(38:50) Samuel shares the back of his mask - to avoid the pain, anger, emptiness.

(42:50) Ashanti shares the back of his mask - worry, fear, burnout. Then, he and Samuel analyze how fear operates in the human brain.

(49:20) Samuel explains why he believes it takes ten years to change a habit or a characteristic within yourself. And he explains how it first takes accepting the habit as part of you. The habit he was able to tackle was gluttony.

(1:00:15) Then, Samuel shares a major turning point in his life.

(1:08:05) And finally, Samuel shares how you can connect with him.

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Connect with Samuel Trejo Aburto:

Facebook: facebook.com/INPASER

Facebook: facebook.com/englishconversationclubpuebla

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Create your own mask anonymously at millionmask.org

If you are interested in being on the Face to Face podcast, email us at [email protected]

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Connect with Ashanti Branch:

Instagram: instagram.com/branchspeaks

Facebook: facebook.com/BranchSpeaks

Twitter: twitter.com/BranchSpeaks

LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/ashantibranch

Website: branchspeaks.com

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“More often than not the mask is a survival mechanism for me. It’s serving a purpose to allow me to get through this interaction, this engagement, this party, this wedding that we’re a part of… It’s just enough to get me through, so long as I have a ritual and a way to take it off when I’m around the ones that matter.” - Brandon Clift

Ever Forward Club’s Ashanti Branch is joined by Brandon Clift. After reaching a supposed level of “success”, Brandon reached a point in life where he needed to leave everything he owned behind. He left Australia and found the power of men's work through the ManKind Project. And through his travels, he has helped grow and establish men's circles all over the world. He now hosts the ManKind Podcast, which “breaks the old molds of modern manhood to prove there is more than one way to be a man.” We hope you enjoy learning about how Brandon seeks to break the molds of his own masks!

(2:10) Ashanti’s introduction.

(8:10) Ashanti and Brandon reflect on how they first met and all of the memories they’ve shared, which include film screenings, trips to Australia, and encounters with the Gold Coast police.

(15:20) Ashanti shares the front of his mask - funny, serious, hard-working, caring - and why he wants to start leading with care.

(20:10) Brandon shares the front of his mask - confidence, grounded, engaged.

(28:40) Ashanti shares the back of his mask - pain, fear, doubt - and reflects on why he’s been avoiding making a doctor’s appointment.

(32:20) Brandon shares the back of his mask - doubt, numbing, disengaged/lazy - and explores how each item on the back of his mask conflicts with an item on the front.

(39:10) Brandon and Ashanti analyze why men are constantly being pressured to project strength and to prioritize thinking over feeling.

(49:40) Brandon shares some final thoughts on encountering discomfort in conversations and doing the work. Then, he shares some information on the Mankind Podcast.

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Connect with Brandon Clift:

Website: brandonclift.com

Podcast: podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/mankind-podcast/id1555955858

Facebook: facebook.com/thebrandonclift

Twitter: twitter.com/inthezone_365

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Create your own mask anonymously at millionmask.org

If you are interested in being on the Face to Face podcast, email us at [email protected]

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Connect with Ashanti Branch:

Instagram: instagram.com/branchspeaks

Facebook: facebook.com/BranchSpeaks

Twitter: twitter.com/BranchSpeaks

LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/ashantibranch

Website: branchspeaks.com

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“I’ve kind of worn the front of the mask so much that it’s become attached… Even when I’m with myself, like, the ability to take it off has basically been diminished… It doesn’t help that one of my titles is Captain Encouragement. ‘Wait, you’re going through depression? Wait aren’t you Captain Encouragement?’” - Nicholas Domingo

Ever Forward Club’s Ashanti Branch is joined by Nicholas Domingo. Nicholas is the creator and Executive Director of Captain Encouragement, a superhero (yes) and organization that promotes children’s wellness. He also runs Happy Hive Studios, which helped create “Ever Forward Club: The Adventure.” On this podcast, we usually don’t dive into our guest’s career journey. But all the moments that led up to the creation of Captain Encouragement were so compelling - they led to a bountiful discussion on identity, validation, and societal constructs.

(2:00) Ashanti's introduction.

(8:30) Nicholas introduces himself, his work, and how he’s dedicated his life to positive impact and service.

(14:15) Ashanti shares the front of his mask - caring, funny, dedicated - and how the front of his mask can be misunderstood.

(16:10) Ashanti shares the back of his mask - overload, worried, my brother.

(20:00) Nicholas shares his mask. On the front is unshaken, strong, happy, and calm. On the back us vulnerable, tired, and afraid. Nicholas feels like he’s worn the front of his mask for so long that it’s become fixed to his face to the point where he may not even know the back of his mask. As Nicholas grows more in touch with the back of his mask, he and Ashanti celebrate the fact that they can only be fully loved if they are fully known.

(28:55) Nicholas tells the origin story of Captain Encouragement and how he responded to being bullied as a child. Then, he and Ashanti take the time to appreciate following your heart and taking a leap of faith.

(46:55) Nicholas and Ashanti discuss the human need for validation, and how an ethereal pursuit can be sidetracked by societal constructs. Then, Nicholas shares his thoughts on how social media and our need to capture everything on video perpetuates harmful behavior.

(53:40) Nicholas started seeing a therapist. He shares how he has grown throughout the process. Then, Ashanti looks at all the ways that comic book superheroes receive therapy.

(1:08:55) Nicholas shares where you can get in touch with him.

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Connect with Nicholas Domingo:

Facebook: facebook.com/happyhivesp

Instagram: instagram.com/smilewithnic

Instagram: instagram.com/happyhivesp

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Create your own mask anonymously at millionmask.org

If you are interested in being on the Face to Face podcast, email us at [email protected]

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Connect with Ashanti Branch:

Instagram: instagram.com/branchspeaks

Facebook: facebook.com/BranchSpeaks

Twitter: twitter.com/BranchSpeaks

LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/ashantibranch

Website: branchspeaks.com

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This TOTM Face to Face conversation is between Mohandas and Gabriel. Mohandas is the Ever Forward Club’s Youth Host, whom you can get to know more about in episode 83. Gabriel is Mohandas’s cousin and a high school senior. By playing the card game "Ever Forward Club: The Adventure", Mohandas and Gabriel have a chance to discuss trust, friendships, life’s challenges, and more.

(2:25) Ashanti’s introduction.

(6:25) Mohandas and Gabriel check-in and discuss Gabriel’s college search.

(8:30) Mohandas gives a breakdown of “Ever Forward: The Adventure” card game.

(10:40) They begin playing the card game by answering the question, “Is trust something offered by the giver or earned by the receiver?” And then answer, “What is something you need to start doing?”

(13:30) “What is the worst phone call you have ever received?” In response to this question, Gabriel shares some of the more intense text messages he’s received over the years.

(17:45) “What was the hardest day of your life?” Mohandas shares how he has dealt with migraines. Then, Gabriel shares his experience playing high school basketball in a toxic team environment.

(25:20) “Tell us about a time when someone earned your trust.” Mohandas and Gabriel explain why they tend to be trusting individuals.

(30:10) “Share a project that you’ve recently ended.”

(31:30) “If you could have one superpower what would it be and why.”

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Connect with Mohandas D.:

Instagram: instagram.com/moduewa

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Connect with Gabriel B.:

Instagram: instagram.com/wherezgabe

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Create your own mask anonymously at millionmask.org

If you are interested in being on the Face to Face podcast, email us at [email protected]

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Connect with Ashanti Branch:

Instagram: instagram.com/branchspeaks

Facebook: facebook.com/BranchSpeaks

Twitter: twitter.com/BranchSpeaks

LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/ashantibranch

Website: branchspeaks.com

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Send in a voice message:

anchor.fm/branch-speaks/message

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Connect with Ever Forward Club:

Instagram: instagram.com/everforward

Facebook: facebook.com/everforwardclub

Twitter: twitter.com/everforwardclub

LinkedIn: linkedin.com/company/the-ever-forward-club

“In this society today, in this culture today that we live in… You have to have it all figured out before you can talk about it, or before you can speak on it. And we forget the school of life, we forget that we’re constantly learning and evolving. And so you might need to express yourself to be able to receive that feedback and get those answers and be able to move and shake…” - John Okhiulu

Ever Forward Club’s Ashanti Branch is joined by John Okhiulu. A recent Stanford graduate, with degrees in African & African American Studies and Human Biology, John currently serves as a Tom Ford Philanthropic Fellow at the Decolonizing Wealth Project and Liberated Capital. Whether it is through his work or his art, John is all about promoting unity and liberation within individuals and amongst communities. John carries himself with a distinct focus and wisdom, and this can only come from his desire to generate self-reflection from honest dialogue - from taking off his mask.

(1:50) Ashanti’s introduction.

(7:15) John introduces himself, his heritage, his professional work in the nonprofit world, his work in the arts, and his underlying goal to restore and heal.

(13:35) John shares the front of his mask - humor, kindness, strength, zen.

(16:20) Ashanti shares the front of his mask - serious, funny, hard-working. Then, John and Ashanti find common ground in their relationship to humor and self-talk.

(22:20) John shares the back of his mask - sadness, worry, deep down anger and frustration, confidence - and then Ashanti relates to how John hides his confidence behind the mask.

(27:35) Ashanti shares the back of his mask - fear of…, worry, stress. Then, John and Ashanti discuss the value in speaking up for the sake of dialogue, especially when you may not be completely informed.

(31:05) Ashanti and John explore how they are trying to shift what traits they value in themselves, and they take the time to celebrate rest and relaxation as a radical act.

(43:35) John looks back on his upbringing, and how he found a version of masculinity and femininity that best suited him and went beyond these gender categories.

(52:35) Ashanti explains the importance of modeling the behavior he is teaching in his workshops. And John takes these explanations and applies them to building understanding across generations.

(1:02:05) John expresses some final thoughts with the audience and calls for love and prayer.

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Connect with John Okhiulu:

Twitter: twitter.com/souliberationar

Instagram: instagram.com/souliberationary

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Create your own mask anonymously at millionmask.org

If you are interested in being on the Face to Face podcast, email us at [email protected]

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Connect with Ashanti Branch:

Instagram: instagram.com/branchspeaks

Facebook: facebook.com/BranchSpeaks

Twitter: twitter.com/BranchSpeaks

LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/ashantibranch

Website: branchspeaks.com

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Send in a voice message:

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“It’s been a very challenging time and my way of coping with this adversity has been through humor. I think a lot of people have been using humor as a coping mechanism because it’s a hard time, and you need to be able to laugh about it or see the absurdity in it.” - Arturo Aviña

Ever Forward Club’s Ashanti Branch is joined by Arturo Aviña. As a Los Angeles-based theatre teacher, Arturo found his calling within education by first experimenting with incorporating film and theatre into his lessons. Now, he also uses his skills to create satirical content on social media to chronicle what it's like working in education today. Arturo is a testament to the fact that humor has the power to get us through hard times and advocate change in our world for the better, and we hope you enjoy learning about his masks!

(1:50) Ashanti’s introduction.

(7:55) Arturo introduces himself and his journey in education - specifically, how he arrived at teaching theatre.

(12:55) Arturo and Ashanti discuss how the masks of acting apply to the masks of real life.

(17:25) Ashanti shares the front of his mask - funny, serious, hard-working, caring - and how opposing characteristics occupy the front of his mask.

(22:10) Arturo shares the front of his mask - funny, friendly, creative, serious.

(24:30) Ashanti shares the back of his mask - self-doubt, fear of failure, my brother’s mental health/my sadness about it - and some of the self-evaluation that he has been doing around sharing his voice with the world and supporting his brother.

(30:55) Arturo shares the back of his mask - anxiety, doubt, fear - and gives some advice to Ashanti along the way.

(39:25) Arturo shares his perspective on humor in the classroom, education-based humor, and humor as a form of coping.

(47:25) Ashanti and Arturo take time to appreciate teachers and analyze how the public has viewed teachers.

(51:55) Arturo shares how you can get in touch with him, and shares his final message for the audience.

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Connect with Arturo Aviña:

Instagram: instagram.com/schooledbyarturo

Tik Tok: tiktok.com/discover/schoolbyarturo

Twitter: twitter.com/schooledbyart

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Create your own mask anonymously at millionmask.org

If you are interested in being on the Face to Face podcast, email us at [email protected]

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Connect with Ashanti Branch:

Instagram: instagram.com/branchspeaks

Facebook: facebook.com/BranchSpeaks

Twitter: twitter.com/BranchSpeaks

LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/ashantibranch

Website: branchspeaks.com

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Send in a voice message:

anchor.fm/branch-speaks/message

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Connect with Ever Forward Club:

Instagram: instagram.com/everforward

Facebook: facebook.com/everforwardclub

Twitter: twitter.com/everforwardclub

LinkedIn: linkedin.com/company/the-ever-forward-club