unMASKing with Male Educators: Creating Emotionally Safe Classrooms & Schools for Male Students

“I think of it as simply more ‘spectrum of aliveness’…  What happens is if our spectrum of aliveness is narrow because we’re not feeling much - we feel numb, we don’t have sexual energy on tap, we don’t feel joy - it’s usually because there’s some stuff that’s bottled up in us that’s taking up bandwidth or real estate in our system.” - Shems Heartwell.

Ever Forward Club’s Ashanti Branch is joined by Shems Heartwell. As a Life and Relationship Guide, Shems has been honing his craft for 20 years. And what’s resulted is a unique way of coaching and mentoring that is on the leading edge of the human potential movement. But like all of our episodes, this conversation doesn’t just focus on the major successes - it goes back to a time when Shems’s “spectrum of aliveness” was closed up, and how he still searches to broaden that spectrum today. We hope you enjoy learning more about Shems, his life, and his masks!

(2:15) Ashanti's introduction.

(7:30) Shems introduces himself, how he met Ashanti, and how he helps men, groups, and couples show up for themselves and each other.

(12:50) Shems shares the front of his mask - bright, intelligent, kind

(14:50) Shems shares the back of his mask - fearful, sensitive, judgmental.

(17:10) Ashanti shares the front of his mask - serious, hard-working, funny.

(19:50) Ashanti shares the back of his mask - fear, childhood wounds, I cry - and how acknowledging these things allows him to push himself to show the world his true value.

(24:50) Ashanti shares what he told himself - and what he let go - when looking into a mirror in the woods.

(28:50) Shems and Ashanti discuss the importance of allowing feelings to move through our system and be expressed.

(38:10) Shems shares how he believes we can open up our “Spectrum of Aliveness.” Then, he shares what it was like growing up with his father, and the mixed bag of emotions, environments, and experiences it created. Ashanti relates by sharing his unhealthy relationship with sugar.

(45:10) Whether it’s food, alcohol, entertainment,  etc., we can all use these things to “check out”. Shems and Ashanti discuss the need to identify when we have reached an unhealthy threshold, and the need for a community to help support us when we try to numb those who have retreated into a certain numbness.

(51:50) Shems shares where you can get in touch with him.

---

Connect with Shems Heartwell:

Website: shemsheartwell.com

Navigator Project: navigatorproject.org

Instagram: instagram.com/shemsheart

---

Create your own mask anonymously at www.100kmasks.com

If you are interested in being on the Face to Face podcast, email us at [email protected]

---

Connect with Ashanti Branch:

Instagram: instagram.com/branchspeaks

Facebook: facebook.com/BranchSpeaks

Twitter: twitter.com/BranchSpeaks

LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/ashantibranch

Website: branchspeaks.com

---

Send in a voice message:

anchor.fm/branch-speaks/message

“It turns out the fastest way to experience resonance is through laughter… One of the things that I show in my workshops with teachers is let’s invest in moments of resonance, invest in moments of play… These games put us in a mindful state right away, in a state where we’re aware of the other person. And so right away it’s an entry point into joy, positive emotions, and awareness - and attunement with other people.” - Roni Habib

Ever Forward Club’s Ashanti Branch is joined by Roni Habib. As the founder of EQ Schools, Roni is an expert in helping leaders, educators, and parents become happier, more resilient, and more playful. This expertise was jumpstarted after, early in his career, Roni struggled with the high stresses and demands of teaching, and he then discovered the power of integrating mindfulness, emotional intelligence, and positive psychology into his own life as well as in his classroom. We’re excited for you to learn about Roni’s mask, how he works with schools, and how he continues to work on himself.

(1:30) Ashanti's introduction.

(8:30) Roni introduces himself. He shares how he and his company seek to bring mindfulness to schools around the world. Then, he tells the story of a tragedy that took place at the high school he taught at.

(16:10) Ashanti and Roni reflect on the importance of adults and teachers that are truly aware - that truly build relationships with students. Then, Roni shares his RAMP model.

(24:40) Then, they discuss what can be done to transition out of the global pandemic, and they discuss the evolution of the student experience.

(32:40) Ashanti shares the front of his mask - funny, serious, passion - and how it shows up as an educator and as an operator in the world of education.

(36:40) Roni shares the front of his mask - my ability to give and receive love, my playful side, my fun side.

(40:40) Ashanti shares the back of his mask - worry, doubt, aging - and goes into why he wrote “aging” for the first time.

(43:20) Roni shares the back of his mask - financial worry, fear of being alone, my physical limitations - and, among many things, an epiphany he had during the Santa Cruz fires.

(49:55) Ashanti relates to Roni's story by reflecting on what he was going through when the whole world shut down in March.

(55:40) Ashanti and Roni share closing thoughts, and Roni shares how you can get in touch with him.

---

Connect with Roni Habib:

Twitter: twitter.com/Roni_Habib

Website: eqschools.com

Facebook: facebook.com/eqschools

Instagram: instagram.com/roni_habib81

Watch The Edge of Success

---

The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 800-273-8255

---

Create your own mask anonymously at www.100kmasks.com

If you are interested in being on the Face to Face podcast, email us at [email protected]

---

Connect with Ashanti Branch:

Instagram: instagram.com/branchspeaks

Facebook: facebook.com/BranchSpeaks

Twitter: twitter.com/BranchSpeaks

Website: branchspeaks.com

---

Send in a voice message:

anchor.fm/branch-speaks/message

“I can’t change the fact that I’m vulnerable and that I’m open. Like, as much as I want to act all tough and stuff and throw up more masks, I can’t. And so even if me being more sensitive and just, like, soft is preventing me from making some connections - whether they be deep connections or surface connections - it’s more important to me to be who I am than it is to change who I am for other people.” - Zev Grossman

Ever Forward Club’s Ashanti Branch is joined by Zev Grossman. Zev was raised in the Bay Area and is now studying philosophy at Montana State University in Bozeman, Montana. College is a huge transition for young people - now add that to the fact that Zev is now 1,000 miles away, learning a new culture. With the ground shifting beneath him, Zev has approached things with empathy, humility, and an open mind. We hope you enjoy the episode as you learn more about Zev and the college students of 2021.

(1:40) Ashanti's introduction.

(7:00) Zev introduces himself and how the Ever Forward Club’s work around gender and emotions aligns with his college studies. He shares how college life in Bozeman, Montana, has pushed him out of his comfort zone.

(12:15) Zev shares the front of his mask - kindness, wisdom, funny.

(14:00) Zev shares the back of his mask - lonely, insecure, uncertain.

(16:30) Ashanti shares the front of his mask - serious, dedicated, passionate - and explores the etymology of passion.

(20:45) Ashanti shares the back of his mask - fear of failure, anger, family stuff.

(23:00) Zev and Ashanti find common ground in the insecurities that exist on the back of their masks.

(27:00) Zev shares some of the masks he’s seen while in college in Montana - for example, a specific section of a wall that frustrated young men like to punch.

(34:50) Ashanti and Zev discuss the rarity of adults saying “that hurt my feelings.”

(38:45) Ashanti tells the story of how he encountered a salesman at Costco, who was put off by the term “toxic masculinity.”

(43:00) Ashanti and Zev share their thoughts on the phrase “toxic masculinity.”

(48:45) Zev and Ashanti give their closing thoughts.

---

Connect with Zev Grossman:

Instagram: instagram.com/imzevg

Facebook: facebook.com/zev.grossman.31

---

The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 800-273-8255

---

Create your own mask anonymously at www.100kmasks.com

If you are interested in being on the Face to Face podcast, email us at [email protected]

---

Connect with Ashanti Branch:

Instagram: instagram.com/branchspeaks

Facebook: facebook.com/BranchSpeaks

Twitter: twitter.com/BranchSpeaks

LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/ashantibranch

Website: branchspeaks.com

---

Send in a voice message:

anchor.fm/branch-speaks/message

“First time we ever had this conversation, we talked for three and a half hours. First time I heard about my uncle's life, first time I heard about the actual incident of his death, first time I’ve seen my mom cry in my entire life - really powerful moment. And that all came not from me being a hero, not from me being fine, but me just being honest… And, as a result of admitting I was not in a good place, it actually led me to some deep connections that I had been missing.” - Devan Sandiford

Ever Forward Club’s Ashanti Branch is joined by Devan Sandiford. Devan spent his childhood and young adult years keeping his personal stories hidden from almost everyone. But there came a point for Devan when it was time to stop hiding. And when the stories came out, they erupted across major shows like the Moth Radio Hour and publications like the New York Times. In fact, that’s how Ashanti first discovered him - in the car, listening to Devan’s story on the radio, delaying a workout in the gym he was not looking forward to. And because of this moment, Ashanti and Devan can have another moment together on this podcast, discussing what makes them the men they are today.

(1:10) Ashanti's introduction.

(5:15) Devan introduces himself, how his storytelling journey started at six years old, and how having a child helped him break his silence as a storyteller. Then he and Ashanti share their experiences with loss. 

(18:00) Devan shares the front of his mask - informed, unshakeable, confident - and how these traits connect to where he perceives his own worthiness. 

(22:00) Devan shares the back of his mask - overwhelmed, tender, confident - and how confidence on the back of his mask is different from the confidence on the front. 

(24:30) Ashanti shares the front of his mask - dedicated, serious, caring - and how he is working on prioritizing himself more often. 

(28:30) Ashanti shares the back of his mask - fear, rage, sadness - and why he wants to speak his mind more often, to avoid “the dark side of the light chasers.” 

(33:30) Ashanti and Devan find coming ground in writing books, leaving engineering, and finding wealth in unconventional ways. 

(39:30) Devan talks about his book and the power of acknowledging the hurt that we feel inside. He shares how going up on stage allowed for the “truth” of his book to come to light. 

(47:00) Ashanti and Devan discuss the “inner-hero” that we all have. 

(50:30) Devan shares how you can get in touch with him.

---

Connect with Devan Sandiford:

Website: devansandiford.com

The Moth: themoth.org/storytellers/devan-sandiford

Instagram: instagram.com/devansandiford

---

Create your own mask anonymously at www.100kmasks.com

If you are interested in being on the Face to Face podcast, email us at [email protected]

---

Connect with Ashanti Branch:

Instagram: instagram.com/branchspeaks

Facebook: facebook.com/BranchSpeaks

Twitter: twitter.com/BranchSpeaks

LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/ashantibranch

Website: branchspeaks.com

---

Send in a voice message:

anchor.fm/branch-speaks/message

“When I’m careful it’s also making myself slightly smaller… The care is around approval and not upsetting anyone. When, really, the greatest contribution we can make is just being more of ourselves. Because when we do that, we’re not clenching, we’re not competing, we’re just serving and contributing.” - Louka Parry

Ever Forward Club’s Ashanti Branch is joined by Louka Parry. As a learning strategist, education futurist, and social entrepreneur, Louka allows his insatiable curiosity to lead the charge as he helps schools and organizations adapt for the future. A school principal at age 27, a teacher of the year in South Australia, a founding executive of multiple organizations, and a speaker of five languages, we could go on and on about Louka’s accomplishments and merits. But instead, Ashanti and Louka look within - Why do we let approval overtake authenticity? What happens when we see the world “not as it is, but as we are”?

(1:15) Ashanti’s introduction.

(6:30) Louka introduces himself, his heritage, why he values education so much, and the critical moments in life that have shaped his identity. Ashanti and Louka also discuss the difference between “small talk” and “deep talk”, and getting to know

(22:10) Ashanti shares the front of his mask - serious, careful, passionate - and how it relates to a recent workshop he conducted.

(26:30) Louka shares the front of his mask - confidence, warmth, intelligence - and why these characteristics serve as his natural equilibrium around others.

(32:00) Ashanti shares the back of his mask - worry, people pleaser/shadow, my brother’s mental health - and how each of the words on the back of his mask connects to the “people pleaser” in him.

(39:30) Louka shares the back of his mask - uncertain, alone, different - and explores the difference between clarity and certainty.

(45:00) Louka and Ashanti continue to explore the idea that when we are too careful our presence shrinks - for better or for worse.

(56:00) Louka shares how you can get in touch with him.

---

Connect with Louka Parry:

LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/loukaparry

Twitter: twitter.com/loukaparry

---

Create your own mask anonymously at www.100kmasks.com

If you are interested in being on the Face to Face podcast, email us at [email protected]

---

Connect with Ashanti Branch:

Instagram: instagram.com/branchspeaks

Facebook: facebook.com/BranchSpeaks

Twitter: twitter.com/BranchSpeaks

LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/ashantibranch

Website: branchspeaks.com

---

Send in a voice message:

anchor.fm/branch-speaks/message

---

Connect with Ever Forward Club:

Instagram: instagram.com/everforward

Facebook: facebook.com/everforwardclub

Twitter: twitter.com/everforwardclub

LinkedIn: linkedin.com/company/the-ever-forward-club

“I cannot be shackled by words. Whatever caused that man to believe that that was the words that he needed to use against me, I can’t stop him from believing that. But I cannot let him have power over me by making me react how he thinks I should react. That’s the freedom that I’m going to have. That’s the freedom that I’m taking back.”

In this special first episode of 2022, Ever Forward Club’s Ashanti Branch reflects on a racist incident that occurred over one year ago.

0:44 Ashanti’s introduction.

1:15 Ashanti recorded a video reflection on the incident, and we share it here. It covers what happened and why it took so long for him to share the video of the incident.

13:18 We play the entire video/sound of the incident.

18:05 Ashanti’s video reflection continues. He shares how failing to share what happened and failing to process what happened has had detrimental effects on his health. He also explains what he wants young people to learn from this incident and how he wants to speak up and stand up for his beliefs more often.

26:05 In Ashanti’s conclusion, he shares what freedom means to him.

---

Create your own mask anonymously at www.100kmasks.com

If you are interested in being on the Face to Face podcast, email us at [email protected]

---

Connect with Ashanti Branch:

Instagram: instagram.com/branchspeaks

Facebook: facebook.com/BranchSpeaks

Twitter: twitter.com/BranchSpeaks

LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/ashantibranch

Website: branchspeaks.com

---

Send in a voice message:

anchor.fm/branch-speaks/message

---

Connect with Ever Forward Club:

Instagram: instagram.com/everforward

Facebook: facebook.com/everforwardclub

Twitter: twitter.com/everforwardclub

LinkedIn: linkedin.com/company/the-ever-forward-club

"People are like, "You are a machine." And I’m like "yeah I am." And there’s a part of me that’s like, "oh yeah, I’m a machine. I’m a machine." And it’s so backwards how as men we can have our egos inflated when we’re compared to non-human things. Why do I want to be a machine? I don’t want to be a machine.

Machines don’t have empathy or compassion or sensitivity. Machines can’t enjoy sex. Machines don’t laugh. Why does that inflate my ego and make me puff out my chest? What am I comparing myself to? What is the basis for which we are judging, and the standard that we have set for each other?" - Justin Baldoni

In a re-release of episode 53, Ever Forward Club’s Ashanti Branch is joined by Justin Baldoni. As an actor, director, producer, and founder of Wayfarer Studios, you may recognize Justin from shows like “Jane the Virgin” or the film “Clouds”, on Disney+. On top of success on the screen, Justin is a compassionate author and changemaker, seeking to “undefine” masculinity and foster a more loving society. Justin’s debut book is now out: “Man Enough: Undefining My Masculinity”. We hope you enjoy the episode, as you listen and learn about what Justin has on the front and back of his mask.

(3:15) Ashanti’s introduction.

(9:35) Ashanti and Justin take off the mask of this very podcast production. Then, they discuss our urge to maintain control, and the difference between “human beings” and “human doings.”

(20:00) Ashanti and Justin continue to discuss how capitalism and the toxicity of “comparison mode” are pervasive in all aspects of our culture.

(22:05) Justin shares what his experience was like making a mask, and where he did and didn’t experience internal resistance to the mask-making process.

(25:30) Justin shares the front of his mask - hard-working, creative, loving, sensitive. He reflects on how traits on the front of the mask have deeper, sometimes darker, intentions.

(28:55) Ashanti shares the front of his mask - passionate, dedicated, caring - and he and Justin break down why our culture glorifies fatigue and busyness (through the lens of The Nap Ministry).

(34:25) Justin shares the back of his mask - anxiety, self-doubt, shame. He traces these feelings back to his upbringing, what Bell Hooks calls the “psychic act of self-mutilation.”

(41:25) Ashanti shares the back of his mask - worry, fear, doubt - and they discuss the pitfalls of when service and capitalism converge.

(43:05) Justin shares where you can find him and get in touch.

---

Connect with Justin Baldoni:

Justin’s book, “Man Enough”: manenough.com/books

Podcast: manenough.com/podcast

Instagram: instagram.com/justinbaldoni

Linktree: linktr.ee/justinbaldoni

---

Create your own mask anonymously at www.100kmasks.com

If you are interested in being on the Face to Face podcast, email us at [email protected]

---

Connect with Ashanti Branch:

Instagram: instagram.com/branchspeaks

Facebook: facebook.com/BranchSpeaks

Twitter: twitter.com/BranchSpeaks

LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/ashantibranch

Website: branchspeaks.com

“Keep an open mind… When people come through with advice or some good game, listen to it. Listen. You ain’t gotta do it or live by it but listen. Keep an open mind. I wish I would’ve kept an open mind when I was younger. I didn’t have no open mind; I did not care; I was on my own thing, and bumped my head so many times.” - J Meast

Ever Forward Club’s Ashanti Branch is joined by J Meast. As a rapper based in Bend, Oregon, by way of North Oakland, California, J Meast enjoys mentoring and bringing along younger rappers, as well as taking care of his two-year-old son. Ashanti and J Meast reflect on their respective upbringings in Oakland, look back on the strengths of their respective parents, and discuss different ways that young men can let out their feelings. Have a Happy Holiday and enjoy the show!

(1:10) Ashanti's introduction.

(7:00) J Meast introduces himself, his origins, and his work. He and Ashanti reflect on their childhood and adolescence in Oakland.

(11:30) They discuss why it can be hard for young people to open up for one another, and the consequences that come from this.

(16:15) Ashanti shares the front of his mask - serious, careful, passionate.

(17:35) J Meast and Ashanti discuss some characteristics that could be on the front of his mask, specifically his desire to mentor younger musicians and rappers.

(22:20) Ashanti shares the back of his mask - worry, people pleaser/shadow, my brother’s mental health - and J Meast relates some of his own experiences.

(25:40) J Meast shares how he independently deals with the heavier things in life. Then, he and Ashanti compare their parents and their respective upbringings.

(31:30) J Meast shares his words of advice to young people.

(35:30) J Meast shares how you can get in touch with him.

---

Connect with J Meast:

Instagram: instagram.com/jmeast2solid

Facebook: facebook.com/jmeast.meast

Youtube: youtube.com/channel/UCDaQGSR4NdhglKKBVmhAGXA

---

Create your own mask anonymously at www.100kmasks.com

If you are interested in being on the Face to Face podcast, email us at [email protected]

---

Connect with Ashanti Branch:

Instagram: instagram.com/branchspeaks

Facebook: facebook.com/BranchSpeaks

Twitter: twitter.com/BranchSpeaks

LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/ashantibranch

Website: branchspeaks.com

---

Send in a voice message:

anchor.fm/branch-speaks/message

---

Connect with Ever Forward Club:

Instagram: instagram.com/everforward

Facebook: facebook.com/everforwardclub

Twitter: twitter.com/everforwardclub

LinkedIn: linkedin.com/company/the-ever-forward-club

“That tough-guy veneer just melted away, and I started crying. I barely got out the words, 'Thank you.' I just felt afraid of dying; I felt afraid for my family, for my friends… But then, once I got over that masculine mask stuff, I was like, ‘Ok, I’ll take the help!’ And it allowed me to heal like crazy. It’s not been perfect, but I have had so much rich support.”

Ever Forward Club’s Ashanti Branch is joined by Ed Frauenheim. As a writer, speaker, and consultant, Ed is about reinventing masculinity, organizations, and society - and connecting the dots among these three concepts. In addition to discussing what it’s like to publish books and gain a footing and following after leaving a steady job, Ed and Ashanti explore some of the more challenging, grounding things in life - like how men can be more honest with their physical health, and how to get over the embarrassment of asking for help in these instances. Happy Holidays, and enjoy the show.

7:30 Ed introduces himself, his writing, his work, and his passion for issues around masculinity.

10:55 Ashanti shares the front of his mask - serious, creative, funny - and how his definition of creativity has expanded.

15:15 Ed shares the front of his mask - positive, smart, caring.

19:00 Ashanti shares the back of his mask - fear, confined, anger (brother) - and how his brother recently brought some unhealthy responses out of him.

27:15 Ed shares the back of his mask - pessimistic, unsure, self-absorbed - and how each item on the back connects to one on the front.

29:15 Ed and Ashanti continue to explore the friction amongst care, self-interest, patience, and growth.

36:35 Then, they discuss writer’s block, some of the ways we can get around it, and how it can have emotional roots.

43:45 Ashanti and Ed discuss why it is so hard for men to be open and honest and to ask for help when it comes to health issues.

49:45 Ed shares how you can get in touch with him.

---

Connect with Ed Frauenheim:

Website: edfrauenheim.com

Book: edfrauenheim.com/masculinity-at-work

LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/ed-frauenheim-685294

Facebook: facebook.com/ed.frauenheim

Twitter: https://twitter.com/edfrauenheim

---

Create your own mask anonymously at www.100kmasks.com

If you are interested in being on the Face to Face podcast, email us at [email protected]

---

Connect with Ashanti Branch:

Instagram: instagram.com/branchspeaks

Facebook: facebook.com/BranchSpeaks

Twitter: twitter.com/BranchSpeaks

LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/ashantibranch

Website: branchspeaks.com

---

Send in a voice message:

anchor.fm/branch-speaks/message

“I’m no longer that person that did those shameful things… … Shame… it would paralyze me sometimes from taking action, but now I bring the awareness to wait, stop, and say, ‘Hey you’re just a thought. Later. You are not my thoughts. I am not my thoughts. I am greater than that, I am worthy, I am amazing. I am bold.’ And I have to stop thinking about my fears because that’s selfish. I have to start thinking about the people I will serve by overcoming this thought of shame.” - Andres Ruiz

Ever Forward Club’s Ashanti Branch is joined by Andres Ruiz. Andres is a motivational speaker, coach, radio host, and father of two boys. He believes that the best way to coach and motivate is to share your own vulnerabilities with your clients and mentees; he also wishes he received mentorship in this way as a young man. Now that Andres is utilizing this method himself, he is able to deeply connect with all the people he engages with, save lives, and learn more about himself in the process. In this episode, we’re excited for you to be inspired by Andres’s past, present, and future. Enjoy the show!

(1:25) Ashanti’s introduction.

(3:15) Andres shares a recent difficulty he had to confront and how Ashanti helped him through it. Then, they discuss the importance of releasing suppressed emotions.

(12:15) Andres introduces himself, his work as a motivational speaker and coach, his mission to prevent suicide, and his work with youth. He opens up about his own battles - using substance abuse, gambling, and much more to suppress emotional gaps in his life - and how he climbed out of this hole.

(24:15) Andres shares the front of his mask - positive, energetic, hard-working.

(26:15) Ashanti shares the front of his mask - passionate, caring, hard-working - and how self-care can be hard for him when he tends to sacrifice so much for his passions. Then, Andres shares his self-care routine.

(34:45) Andres shares the back of his mask - shame, anxiety, self-doubt, guilt - and how he teaches people to reframe their thoughts, while also applying these methods to control his own negative thoughts.

(41:35) Ashanti shares the back of his mask - worry, fear, self-doubt - and explores how his sense of worry and fear has shifted since childhood, and how he is becoming more able to control these thoughts.

(57:55) Andres tells the story about the day he found out why he was born. Then, Ashanti tells a story about two young men at a high school who are beginning to see friendship in a different light.

(55:25) Andres shares how he wishes his younger self was given advice and mentorship.

(59:15) Andres shares how you can get in touch with him.

---

Connect with Andres Ruiz:

Instagram: instagram.com/ibelieveinmyselfcoaching

Facebook: facebook.com/ibelieveinmyselfcoaching

Website: ibelieveinmyself.org

Email: [email protected]

---

Create your own mask anonymously at www.100kmasks.com

If you are interested in being on the Face to Face podcast, email us at [email protected]

---

Connect with Ashanti Branch:

Instagram: instagram.com/branchspeaks

Facebook: facebook.com/BranchSpeaks

Twitter: twitter.com/BranchSpeaks

LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/ashantibranch