He's alive! Mostly! Except for the nose! Tyrion is getting pretty rough treatment this chapter, besides having been been stabbed in the face, he also get's a podcast that mostly ignores him to pose complicated hypothetical scenarios.

It's the greatest showdown in history. The Bastard of the Dreadfort shows up to show Theon, the Garbage of the Greyjoys, how being an awful human being is really done. Never has the tearing of down of the irritating Ironborn been so bittersweet, as when two awful elephants fight, it is the innocents of Winterfell who suffer.

Back to the throne room with Sansa! We learn who did well (and who just didn't get killed) at the battle of Blackwater. We also learn Joffery's reaction to a "war wound" that surely shamed all the half dead veterans in his throne room. We also learn Dontos' plan to ensare someone somehow using a "magic" hairnet. There's also a pretty good bit where we offer stock advice in the major houses and try to decipher Littlefingers cocky attitude.

Harranhal under Roose Bolton isn't much better than Harranhal under Tywin Lannister it turns out, and in some ways it's much, much worse. Arya decides to go for a change in scenerey, even if that means some dicidely dirty tricks.

Warlocks are back in business, Daenerys has worn out her welcome in Qarth, and in the marketplace she gets a few things she wasn't looking for. We talk monster names, seaside smells, and phantom turtles. We also annouce our plans for the second season of HBO's game of thrones show!

Ok folks, only one big episode this week, chronicalling Sansa, Davos, and Tyrion as the big battle goes down in kings landing. Who lives! who dies? Who wins?!? We take on the whole battle at once in one mega episode!

Running through the woods, wolves on his heels, it's finally time for Theon to...wake up? Crap! Just a dream! When is this kid going to finally get disembowelled? Looks like we have at least one more chapter to go. Still, not all bad news, as secrets are revealed, and Asha makes an ultimatum.

Caetlyn isn't having a great day. Her sons are reported dead, so she heads down to the dungeon to finally get some answers out of Jaime Lannister. The answers she gets though aren't what she's looking for.

Guess who's coming to dinner! It's our friend Tyrion, and it's all bad news, all the time for most of this chapter. Are the youngest Stark kids dead? What's going to happen to "Tyrion's woman". Who's worse that Circe? Let's work out all the deets, on this UNSPOILED!

The Wolf dreams are spreading! Now Jon gets a chance to see through his wolf's eyes, but he's not the only one in the animal magic game. What's going to happen with the rangers as the wildlings get wise to them!??