Unstuck with Jay Abbasi

What if the voice holding you back… is your own? Meet Jamie. She’s a Director of Regulatory Affairs who knows her business inside and out. Her team trusts her. Her results speak for themselves. But in leadership meetings, she gets quiet. While others confidently share their ideas, Jamie finds herself holding back, replaying conversations long after they end and wondering why her voice seems to disappear when it matters most. What she wants isn’t to become someone else. She simply wants the confidence to speak up, be heard, and earn the opportunities she knows she’s capable of handling. Today, Jay sits down with Allison Shapira, executive communication expert, keynote speaker, bestselling author, Harvard lecturer, and former opera singer. For more than two decades, Allison has helped leaders communicate with clarity, confidence, and authenticity. Together, they explore how leaders can move beyond perfection, build trust through authentic communication, and find the courage to speak up when the stakes are high. Notable Quotes “You go from nervous to service.” — Dave Bricker “Your work does not speak for itself. You have to speak for it.” — Allison Shapira “You can't communicate with others until you first learn how to communicate with yourself.” — Allison Shapira About Our Guest Allison Shapira is a keynote speaker, executive communication coach, bestselling author, and lecturer at Harvard Kennedy School. She works with Fortune 100 executives, entrepreneurs, and public leaders to help them communicate authentically, build trust, and lead with greater impact. Her latest book is AI for the Authentic Leader. Resources & Links Allison Shapira Ai for the Authentic Leader – https://allisonshapira.com/ai-for-the-authentic-leader/ Website – https://allisonshapira.com/ LinkedIn – https://www.linkedin.com/in/allisonshapira/ YouTube – https://www.youtube.com/user/AllisonShapira Instagram – https://www.instagram.com/allisonshapira/ X – https://x.com/allisonshapira Jay Abbasi Website – https://jayabbasi.me/ LinkedIn – https://www.linkedin.com/in/jayabbasi/ Instagram – https://www.instagram.com/jayabbasi_/ Facebook – https://www.facebook.com/thejayabbasi/ YouTube – https://www.youtube.com/@jayabbasipodcast Join Us Next Time On Friday, Jay begins a two-part countdown of the most effective communication techniques he has ever learned. Drawing from years of coaching leaders, delivering keynotes, and studying communication, he shares practical strategies to help you influence more effectively, strengthen relationships, and increase your impact. If you want to become a stronger communicator, this is an episode you won’t want to miss.

The way you talk to yourself may be the very thing holding you back. In this solo episode, Jay explores the difference between self-criticism, self-observation, and flow states, and why understanding these distinctions can dramatically improve your performance, resilience, and well-being. Drawing from the teachings of Anthony de Mello, Viktor Frankl, and Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, Jay explains why harsh self-judgment creates unnecessary psychological suffering and how a practice of self-observation can help you become more self-aware without becoming self-critical. He also breaks down the role of flow states and when to observe yourself versus when to let go and fully immerse yourself in the moment. Notable Quotes “There is only one cause of unhappiness. The false beliefs you have in your head.” — Anthony de Mello “Self-criticism does not serve you.” — Jay Abbasi “Be that kind of coach for yourself that you would want if you were playing sports.” — Jay Abbasi “You need to be able to observe yourself without judgment.” — Jay Abbasi “Flow is being completely involved in an activity for its own sake.” — Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi Resources and Links Jay Abbasi Website: https://jayabbasi.me/ LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jayabbasi/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jayabbasi_/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/thejayabbasi/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@jayabbasipodcast Get Featured on “Unstuck” Want to have your story featured on “Unstuck”? Submit your story through the link below, and Jay may choose to highlight your story on a future episode and offer you personalized advice on how to overcome any challenge. Submit Your Story Join Us Next Time On Monday’s episode, you’ll meet Jamie, Director of Regulatory Affairs for a medical equipment manufacturer, who knows she has the skills to move up but struggles to project confidence and presence in high-stakes conversations. Jay is joined by Allison Shapira, Harvard lecturer, executive advisor, keynote speaker, bestselling author, and former opera singer, to explore how leaders can communicate with greater confidence, credibility, and impact.

Why is it so much easier to know what to do than to actually do it? Meet Sebastian. The team call ends and he's staring at his reflection through a blank screen, frustrated because he did it again. A developer brought him a problem and rather than coach or delegate, Sebastian took it on himself. This week, he promised he'd stop being the bottleneck. But when the pressure hit, he fell back into the same pattern. He reads leadership books, listens to podcasts, and genuinely wants to grow, yet he keeps asking himself the same question: Why does knowing better never seem to turn into doing better? Today, Jay sits down with Scott J. Allen, PhD, leadership educator, researcher, speaker, and host of the Practical Wisdom for Leaders podcast. Scott shares insights on self-awareness, behavior change, leadership development, and how to close the gap between what we know and how we actually show up. Notable Quotes “Leaders don't have to have the answers. Sometimes they need to elevate the right questions.” — Scott J. Allen “Self-awareness is ground zero.” — Scott J. Allen “What people are raising their hands for out there in the world is incredibly difficult to do well.” — Scott J. Allen About Our Guest Scott J. Allen, PhD, is a leadership educator, researcher, speaker, and host of the Practical Wisdom for Leaders podcast. For more than two decades, he has studied leadership development, helping leaders strengthen self-awareness, navigate complexity, and build the habits that lead to long-term success. Resources & Links Scott J. Allen Website – https://www.scottjallen.net/ LinkedIn – https://www.linkedin.com/in/scott-j-allen/ YouTube – https://www.youtube.com/@PracticalWisdomForLeaders Jay Abbasi Website: https://jayabbasi.me/ LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jayabbasi/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jayabbasi_/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/thejayabbasi/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@jayabbasipodcast Get Featured on “Unstuck” Want to have your story featured on “Unstuck”? Submit your story through the link below, and Jay may choose to highlight your story on a future episode and offer you personalized advice on how to overcome any challenge. Submit Your Story Join Us Next Time On Friday, Jay explores the difference between self-criticism, self-observation, and flow states. Drawing from a recent conversation with his book editor, he explains why self-observation is a critical skill for growth, how it differs from harsh self-judgment, and why flow states are essential for peak performance. If you want to improve your ability to take action, perform at a higher level, and create meaningful results, this episode is one you won't want to miss.

What if trust isn’t something people earn, but something leaders choose to give? In this solo episode, Jay challenges a common leadership belief: that trust must always be earned. While leaders certainly need to earn the trust of their teams, Jay argues that effective leadership begins by granting trust to others and empowering them to succeed. Drawing from personal experiences, leadership lessons, and real-world examples, he introduces a three-part framework for raising standards and building accountability: Inspiration, Education, and Accountability. Jay explains how these three elements work together to create high-performing teams and how leaders can identify which area may be missing for themselves or the people they lead. Notable Quotes “Trust is granted.” — Jay Abbasi “If you are not inspired, then you will not be inspiring.” — Jay Abbasi “Oftentimes there’s just a knowledge gap.” — Jay Abbasi “Your job as a leader is to identify the gap.” — Jay Abbasi Resources and Links Jay Abbasi Website: https://jayabbasi.me/ LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jayabbasi/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jayabbasi_/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/thejayabbasi/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@jayabbasipodcast Get Featured on “Unstuck” Want to have your story featured on “Unstuck”? Submit your story through the link below, and Jay may choose to highlight your story on a future episode and offer you personalized advice on how to overcome any challenge. Submit Your Story Join Us Next Time On Monday’s episode, you’ll meet Sebastian, a software development leader who struggles with procrastination, overcommitment, and turning knowledge into action. Jay is joined by Scott J. Allen, leadership educator, researcher, speaker, and host of Practical Wisdom for Leaders, to explore how leaders can close the gap between what they know and how they lead.

Why do so many leaders sacrifice respect in pursuit of approval? Meet Leo. During a meeting with other regional leaders, the conversation turns toward his team's performance. Missed deadlines. Poor follow-through. Lack of accountability. As Leo listens, he realizes the concern isn't just about his team. It's about him. He's well-liked, but other leaders are beginning to question whether he'll enforce standards when it matters most. Leo wants to lead with compassion, but he also wants to be respected, trusted, and taken seriously. Today, Jay sits down with Jason O. Harris, retired Air Force Lieutenant Colonel, combat pilot, keynote speaker, and creator of the No Fail Trust® Framework. Drawing from decades of military leadership experience, Jason shares practical strategies for building trust, creating accountability, and leading teams without sacrificing humanity. Notable Quotes “Your goal and objective is not to be liked. Your goal and objective is to lead.” — Jason O. Harris “Connection leads to commitment. Commitment leads to accountability. Accountability leads to trust.” — Jason O. Harris “Be the most interested person in the room, not the most interesting person in the room.” — Jason O. Harris About Our Guest Jason O. Harris is a retired Air Force Lieutenant Colonel, combat pilot, keynote speaker, and leadership expert. Through his No Fail Trust® Framework, he helps organizations build stronger cultures of trust, accountability, and execution. His work focuses on helping leaders create high-performing teams through intentional communication, meaningful connection, and proven leadership principles. Resources & Links Jason O. Harris Website – https://jasonoharris.com/ LinkedIn – https://www.linkedin.com/in/jasonoharris/ Instagram – https://www.instagram.com/jasonoharris/ Facebook – https://www.facebook.com/jasonoharrisspeaks YouTube – https://www.youtube.com/@JasonOHarris TikTok – https://www.tiktok.com/@jasonoharris1 Jay Abbasi Website – https://jayabbasi.me/ LinkedIn – https://www.linkedin.com/in/jayabbasi/ Instagram – https://www.instagram.com/jayabbasi_/ YouTube – https://www.youtube.com/@jayabbasipodcast Get Featured on “Unstuck” Want to have your story featured on “Unstuck”? Submit your story through the link below, and Jay may choose to highlight your story on a future episode and offer you personalized advice on how to overcome any challenge. Submit Your Story Join Us Next Time On Friday, Jay shares a practical framework for holding people accountable without becoming harsh, controlling, or authoritarian. Through real-life examples and actionable strategies, you'll learn how to build trust, set clear expectations, and create accountability while maintaining strong relationships. If you've ever struggled to balance empathy with leadership, this episode is for you.

The problem isn’t your willpower. The problem is your system. In this solo episode, Jay challenges one of the most common beliefs in personal development: that success comes from being more disciplined. Drawing from personal stories about rebuilding routines, growing a business, and strengthening relationships, he explains why relying on willpower often leads to frustration and self-criticism. Instead, Jay makes the case that consistency is not a motivation problem but a systems problem. Through practical examples and actionable strategies, he demonstrates how creating the right structures can make positive habits easier to maintain and help you achieve meaningful results without constantly fighting yourself. If you've ever wondered why you struggle to follow through, this episode offers a refreshing and practical perspective. Notable Quotes “You do not rise to the level of your goals. You fall to the level of your systems.” — James Clear “Your brain is not wired for that.” — Jay Abbasi “It was the systems that needed help, not my willpower.” — Jay Abbasi “You don’t need to rely on your willpower. The system is there.” — Jay Abbasi Resources and Links Jay Abbasi Website: https://jayabbasi.me/ LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jayabbasi/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jayabbasi_/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/thejayabbasi/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@jayabbasipodcast Get Featured on “Unstuck” Want to have your story featured on “Unstuck”? Submit your story through the link below, and Jay may choose to highlight your story on a future episode and offer you personalized advice on how to overcome any challenge. Submit Your Story Join Us Next Time On Monday’s episode, you’ll meet Leo, a leader whose team is underperforming and facing growing pressure from other departments. Jay is joined by Jaso Harris, retired Air Force Lieutenant Colonel, combat pilot, and keynote speaker, to explore how leaders can create accountability, build trust, and improve performance without sacrificing the human side of leadership.

What happens when pressure slowly turns you into someone you no longer recognize? Meet Dino. He’s a treasury manager leading a team through layoffs, pressure, and nonstop demands. At work, everyone is overwhelmed. At home, he feels disconnected from the family he loves most. The habits that once kept him grounded, exercise, journaling, meditation, have disappeared, replaced by exhaustion, stress eating, and nightly escapes. What he wants most is the strength to lead without falling apart himself. In this episode, Jay sits down with Mark Divine, retired Navy SEAL commander, bestselling author, and founder of SEALFIT and Unbeatable Mind. Together, they explore how everyday people can develop resilience, discipline, and mental toughness without needing to become Navy SEALs. Notable Quotes “If you’re not training your body and mind, the world is training it for you.” — Mark Divine “You don’t have to overhaul your life overnight. Crawl, walk, run.” — Mark Divine “The breath is the bridge between the body, the mind, and the spirit.” — Mark Divine About Our Guest Mark Divine is a retired Navy SEAL commander, bestselling author, leadership expert, and founder of SEALFIT and Unbeatable Mind. Drawing from decades of military leadership, martial arts, Zen training, and mindfulness practices, Mark helps individuals and organizations develop resilience, focus, emotional control, and mental toughness in high-pressure environments. Resources & Links Mark Divine SEALFIT Website – https://sealfit.com/ Website – https://markdivine.com/ LinkedIn – https://www.linkedin.com/in/markdivine/ Instagram – https://www.instagram.com/markdivineofficial Facebook – https://www.facebook.com/markdivineofficial YouTube – https://www.youtube.com/@markdivineofficial Pinterest – https://www.pinterest.com/mamiekstewart/ X – https://x.com/MarkDivine Jay Abbasi Website – https://jayabbasi.me/ LinkedIn – https://www.linkedin.com/in/jayabbasi/ Instagram – https://www.instagram.com/jayabbasi_/ YouTube – https://www.youtube.com/@jayabbasipodcast Get Featured on “Unstuck” Want to have your story featured on “Unstuck”? Submit your story through the link below, and Jay may choose to highlight your story on a future episode and offer you personalized advice on how to overcome any challenge. Submit Your Story Join Us Next Time On Friday, Jay takes a deep dive into the systems and routines that helped him become more consistent over time. If you’ve ever struggled to stick with habits, follow through on goals, or maintain momentum, this episode will walk you through the practical mindset shifts and systems that made the biggest difference in his own life.

What if your phone is exhausting your brain without you realizing it? In this solo episode, Jay explores eye-opening research on how smartphones impact attention, cognitive performance, and presence, even when they are not being used. Drawing from a study out of the University of Chicago, he explains how simply having your phone visible can drain mental resources and reduce your ability to focus fully on what matters most. Jay breaks down the neuroscience behind attention and distraction, why our brains are wired to respond to phones the way they do, and how this constant pull impacts relationships, meetings, and overall well-being. He also introduces a simple but powerful strategy called “trial separation” to help you reclaim focus, improve presence, and free up cognitive energy for the people and priorities that matter most. Notable Quotes “Your phone doesn’t even need to be on to negatively impact your cognitive ability.” — Jay Abbasi “Your brain is literally wired to treat your phone buzzing the same way it treats someone calling your name across the room.” — Jay Abbasi “When your phone is visible, you don’t have access to your full cognitive capacity.” — Jay Abbasi “Free up your cognitive ability for the things that matter.” — Jay Abbasi Resources and Links Jay Abbasi Website: https://jayabbasi.me/ LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jayabbasi/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jayabbasi_/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/thejayabbasi/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@jayabbasipodcast Get Featured on “Unstuck” Want to have your story featured on “Unstuck”? Submit your story through the link below, and Jay may choose to highlight your story on a future episode and offer you personalized advice on how to overcome any challenge. Submit Your Story Join Us Next Time On Monday’s episode, you’ll meet Dino, a treasury manager overwhelmed by pressure, stress, and unhealthy coping habits as he struggles to lead effectively while neglecting his own well-being. Jay is joined by Mark Divine, retired Navy SEAL commander, bestselling author, and founder of SEALFIT, to explore how leaders can rebuild mentally, physically, and emotionally from the inside out.

Why do so many meetings leave people feeling drained instead of productive? Meet Heather. It’s 8 p.m. and she’s still staring at her laptop. Her days are packed with back-to-back meetings, leaving no time to think, plan, or actually do the work. By the end of the day, she feels exhausted, behind, and disconnected from the life waiting for her outside the screen. In this episode, Jay sits down with Mamie Kanfer Stewart, founder of Modern Manager and author of Momentum. Together, they unpack why most meetings fail, how poor meeting culture quietly drains energy and productivity, and what leaders can do to reclaim time, attention, and focus. Notable Quotes “A conversation can grow to the size of its fishbowl.” — Mamie Kanfer Stewart “Running meetings is a skill.” — Mamie Kanfer Stewart “There’s almost always someone in the meeting wondering why they’re there.” — Mamie Kanfer Stewart “Meetings don’t have to be the bane of existence at work.” — Mamie Kanfer Stewart About Our Guest Mamie Kanfer Stewart is the founder of Modern Manager, host of The Modern Manager Podcast, and author of Momentum. She works with leaders and organizations to improve communication, collaboration, and meeting culture through practical systems that help teams work more effectively and intentionally. Resources & Links Mamie Kanfer Stewart Website – https://www.mamieks.com/ LinkedIn – https://www.linkedin.com/in/mamiekanferstewart/ Instagram – https://www.instagram.com/leadershipwithmamie/ Facebook – https://www.facebook.com/mamie.kanfer.stewart/ YouTube – https://www.youtube.com/@themodernmanager Pinterest – https://www.pinterest.com/mamiekstewart/ X – https://x.com/mamieks Jay Abbasi Website – https://jayabbasi.me/ LinkedIn – https://www.linkedin.com/in/jayabbasi/ Instagram – https://www.instagram.com/jayabbasi_/ YouTube – https://www.youtube.com/@jayabbasipodcast Get Featured on “Unstuck” Want to have your story featured on “Unstuck”? Submit your story through the link below, and Jay may choose to highlight your story on a future episode and offer you personalized advice on how to overcome any challenge. Submit Your Story Join Us Next Time On Friday, Jay explores fascinating new research from the University of Chicago on cell phone use and cognitive performance. The findings reveal that distraction is not just affecting productivity when you’re actively using your phone, but even when the phone is simply nearby. If you’ve been struggling to focus, stay present, or feel mentally clear, this is an episode you won’t want to miss.

Feeling stuck does not mean you’re lost. It just means something needs to change. In this solo episode, Jay walks through a practical four-step process to help you gain clarity, create a meaningful vision, and move forward with intention. Whether you feel lost in your career, uncertain about your future, or overwhelmed by too many ideas, this episode is designed to help you reconnect with direction and purpose. Drawing from his coaching work and personal development principles, Jay explores the common patterns that keep people stuck and how to work through them. He breaks down how to identify your strengths, reconnect with your passions, and align them with real problems that need solving so you can create a vision that is both meaningful and actionable. Notable Quotes “Vision without action is merely a dream. Action without vision just passes the time.” — Joel A. Barker “You can’t fix what you can’t see.” — Jay Abbasi “When you combine strengths, passions, and problems that need solving, that’s how you craft your vision.” — Jay Abbasi Resources and Links Jay Abbasi Website: https://jayabbasi.me/ LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jayabbasi/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jayabbasi_/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/thejayabbasi/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@jayabbasipodcas Get Featured on “Unstuck” Want to have your story featured on “Unstuck”? Submit your story through the link below, and Jay may choose to highlight your story on a future episode and offer you personalized advice on how to overcome any challenge. Submit Your Story Join Us Next Time On Monday’s episode, you’ll meet Heather, a senior product manager whose overloaded schedule is draining her energy and impacting her personal life. Jay is joined by Mamie Kanfer Stewart, author and host of The Modern Manager Podcast, to explore how leaders can reclaim their time, reduce unnecessary meetings, and create a more sustainable and effective way of working.