Picard and Soji arrive on the planet Nepenthe, where their confusion and self-doubt

An inexplicable terrorist attack on Mars claims tens of thousands of lives. But how to react to it? Do we succumb to panic and fear? Or do we forget our differences and re-commit to our shared values?

The crew of Enterprise encounter the Vissians, a genial and technologically advanced species who enslave three percent of their population and force them to have sex with married couples who wish to conceive their horrible latex-faced children. Surprisingly, we’re generally fine with this. Apart from Trip, who is a good person.

After their critically acclaimed attack on Earth on Stardate 44001.4, the Borg are back with a terrifying new plan — to pad out the the running time of the Star Trek: The Next Generation Series 6 finale and Series 7 opener. Meanwhile, Deanna is amused by Data’s porn consumption, Nathan is impressed by Beverly’s approach to command, and Joe is distracted by the memory of much more enjoyable Star Trek episodes.

A young woman wearing fabulous boots materialises on the Enterprise, renders the crew unconscious, and then removes Spock’s brain. And soon we discover — to our horror — that everyone else involved in making this episode has had their brain removed as well.

Star Trek welcomes a whole new generation into its ranks, as Dal, Rok-Tahk, Zero, Pog, Murf and their prisoner Gwyn become the new crew of the USS Protostar. Their first mission: to accidentally set course for a black hole, to learn to work together as a crew, and to come to appreciate the value of good advice. And, of course, to boldly go where no one has gone before.

When the Doctor’s hard drive starts to fill up with opera, romantic relationships and all the complex glories of being human, he finds himself increasingly unable to fulfil his function as Voyager’s Chief Medical Officer — instead becoming a heartbreaking analogue of your dad suffering from dementia. Also, a bunch of space things happen that we couldn’t possibly care about.

It’s Star Trek’s most terrifying crew evaluation since Coming of Age: the crew of the USS Cerritos confront a ridiculous alien from Star Trek: The Animated Series, the Terran Empire, medical ethics, an unconvincing Old West set on the Paramount lot, the plot of Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan, the Borg, complex strings of water molecules which acquire carbon from the body and act on the brain like alcohol, hexagonal crates in the cargo bay, and the plot of Star Trek III: The Search for Spock. But more than anything, they confront the need to work together and respect each other. Because this is — and of course it is — Star Trek.

When passive-aggressive Vulcan racist Captain Solok arrives on Deep Space Nine and challenges Sisko to some kind of sportsball game, a series of hilarious training montages ensues, followed by a Very Important Lesson about how utterly adorable Rom is. Bless.

After the crew of Enterprise decide to ignore the advice of their only competent crewmember, they find themselves on a very routine away mission on a very unremarkable planet, exhibiting behaviour that would embarass the most racist of your racist uncles. Turns out that at the end of the day, it hasn’t been such a long road getting from there to here.