Nathan, Joe, Kathryn and the Medium Robert are all enjoying themselves this week in a genuinely entertaining Star Trek romance spoiled only by the untimely and unwelcome intrusion of Star Trek: Voyager itself at the very end of the episode. Hey ho.

When a metal box containing seven strange creatures lands outside his village, gentle giant Oleg (Buck Maffei) leaves a pregnant wife and an ailing mother in his humble yurt and trudges off to present the creatures with his people’s traditional gift of welcome — a set of giant novelty spears. This simple act of hospitality is met with violence, and soon matters escalate despite Oleg’s repeated attempts to appease the newcomers’ anger — giving one an affectionate hug, offering the others his precious polystyrene boulder, and finally trying to hold down the box when the wind threatens to blow it away. A heartrending story of faith and hope in the face of indifference and cruelty. Five stars.

Moral dilemmas abound in this week’s season finale of Star Trek: Voyager. Is it permissible to kill a bunch of people if you miss your bus home? Is it permissible to shoot Slimer from Ghostbusters in the face if he’s intent on drinking all of your precious bodily fluids? Is it permissible to torture Rick Worthy if you’re having a really bad day? And it is obligatory to endow the characters in your Star Trek show with clear and consistent motivations?

Comfort food this week, as Star Trek: The Next Generation tries and fails to create a romantic comedy about an exciting new space wormhole. Deanna learns a valuable lesson about the dangers of enjoying herself, some Ferengi learn an urgent lesson about paying attention to their GPS, and the rest of us learn a timely lesson about straight, white American men in the late 1980s. We still have fun though.

Star Trek goes outside this week, for a top-tier episode in which Sisko and Kira are both confronted by radical integrity and self-sacrifice in the face of overwhelming opposition. Solid and memorable.

The second season of Star Trek: Discovery comes to a climax as Spock commemorates Star Trek’s first pilot by taking Michael to Talos IV so that they can both stand around a bunch of singing flowers, weepily recounting their formative childhood traumas. Meanwhile, Paul and Hugh are not the first people to experience difficulties maintaining a romantic relationship after one partner has died. Anyway, Nathan has fun, even if no one else does.

It’s the pilot of a thrilling new spy-fi series, in which Gary Seven (Robert Lansing), his plucky secretary Miss Lincoln (Teri Garr), and his cat Isis (herself) hang out in the twentieth century’s most stylish decade, drinking cocktails after lunch and occasionally foiling America’s military–industrial complex. Is it time for us to end our trek through the stars so that we can complete an assignment here on earth?

This week a mediocre script fails to be enhanced in any way by mediocre direction and some mediocre performances. But there’s an upside: a Voyager episode with real consequences that will open up unimaginable new vistas of storytelling and character development. Or not, probably.

In this week’s episode of Likeable and Competent People Solving Space Problems, Beverly finds herself in a shrinking universe from which her loved ones are disappearing one by one, while Nathan and Joe (who inhabit a very similar universe) find a version of Star Trek capable of inspiring a lifelong obsession and, ultimately, an untitled podcast project.

This week, we learn a valuable lesson about Johnny Foreigner: he’s just not to be trusted. (God knows how we’re going to get a Federation together.) Still, we manage to enjoy ourselves for a bit.