“Follow the path of peace when we think about unhealthy relationships, not only with others but within ourselves. Some of us have toxic beliefs about ourselves, limiting thoughts, and self-sabotaging behaviors... Allowing yourself to really believe that you deserve the peace and kind of giving yourself permission to have a life that's full of it.” - Davia Roberts

Welcome to Stay a While with Tommi Vincent! Ice Cube once said, “Check yourself before you wreck yourself” and while the song was a bop in the 90s, it still begs the question, “How often do we actually check ourselves?” Do we have the tools we need to recognize when we’re being less than loving? When we’re being petty? Do we know how to course-correct? And then, what about our boundaries? If others don’t know how to check themselves, how do we set proper boundaries to maintain our peace of mind and forward movement? Well, of course, we’re not just posing questions. We have Davia Roberts, a licensed professional therapist at the table and we’re serving up some real talk on recognizing and navigating toxic behavior because nobody likes a Petty Betty.

 

In 2020, the weight of our personal lives seeped into our careers more than ever. Some companies took note and made a commitment to integrating mental health and wellness into the company culture. I’ve had the pleasure to partner with companies like ServiceNow, Fidelity Investments, and Lululemon to develop therapeutic programming to support the mental health and wellbeing of their staff members.

 

As a mental health consultant, I cultivate space for professionals to process their feelings and develop new tools for coping. Employees often share how they feel valued when leadership is willing to invest in their wellbeing. Plus, leadership notes the boost in morale. In 2021, I hope more companies become wellness-minded and I’d love to help more companies make the transition. - Davia Roberts

In this episode we cover

[00:01 - 04:16] Take a Seat at the Stay A While Table

[04:17 - 10:52] Food Is Love, Therapeutic, and Nourishing

[10:53 - 23:21] Identifying the What and the Who: Behavior, Abuse, and Relationships

[23:22 - 36:55] The Intentional Call to Action - Paving the Path to Maturity

[36:56 - 48:34] Becoming the Most Important Person in Your Life

[48:35 - 52:56] Closing Segment

Key Quotes

“If we don't communicate what those things [boundaries] are, we're going to continue to be in a toxic relationship, because we're both contributing to this pattern of frustration, not having healthy boundaries or healthy communication... It's important to figure out or just start with the question, one, ‘What's really bothering me in this situation?’, ‘What do I need to communicate as far as my hurt?’, and ‘What do I need to communicate for my boundary or my need moving forward so we can have a healthy relationship?’ And lastly, if that doesn't change, what am I willing to do about it?” - Davia Roberts

 

“When you don't recognize that the environment that nurtured you, and, you know, formed you into the adult that you are, if you're not able to see the dynamics of that, the behavior you're learning is just going to carry over into your adult life, and into your relationships. And until you're able to see that for yourself, then you're not going to make the changes necessary to become an adult, and to be mature. ” - Davia Roberts

 

“Yes, it is easier said than done. But I'm like, if you want something to be different, imagine or just revisit the discomfort you had when people use those same techniques on you when someone you cared about didn't speak to you for weeks when you didn't know what you did wrong, but you could feel the discontent and the strain in the relationship, even though you wanted to fix it.” - Davia Roberts

 

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