How do you respond to the question, “How are you?” Do you answer honestly or reflexively? Do you even know what the honest answer is? In this episode, Hari Prasada interviews Michael about his article, “The Oldest Profession in the World.” They analyze the standard responses to the question, ‘How are you?’ and what our responses might be attempting to communicate on a deeper level. They discuss how our egos get in the way of authentic answers and offer alternative questions that get closer to the heart of the matter.

Links

Enneagram Certification Program

Upbuild Coaching Certification Training (starts in October)

Upbuild Website

Instagram: @upbuildnyc
Facebook: Upbuild
LinkedIn: Upbuild

Do you react to things other people say or do in a way you wish you could do over, even when you feel righteous in your response? What if you could control your reactions a bit more and choose your responses more intentionally? In this episode, Hari interviews Vipin about his article, "How to Create Space Between Stimulus And Response." They discuss an example from Vipin’s life when a part of him was carrying anger towards his son, how his beliefs about his son and himself led to the reaction, and the difference between the beliefs of the ego versus the beliefs of the self. They conclude by sharing the framework of the Emotional Traffic Light and how we can use it to help us achieve true freedom. 

Links

Enneagram Certification Program

Upbuild Coaching Certification Training (starts in October)

Upbuild Website

Instagram: @upbuildnyc
Facebook: Upbuild
LinkedIn: Upbuild

Why would anyone give up a life of wealth on Wall Street to become a monk? And why would anyone who would eventually become a monk be motivated to work on Wall Street in the first place? In this episode, Vipin interviews Rasanath about his journey from investment banker to monk and the key steps along the way that led to such a significant change in life and career. They examine the root cause of an existential crisis, the challenges inside and outside the monastery walls that he faced as he made the decision, and what it really means to have freedom. Rasanath closes the episode by offering a specific way to take the next step in finding your calling. 

Links

Enneagram Certification Program

Upbuild Coaching Certification Training (starts in October)

Upbuild Website

Instagram: @upbuildnyc
Facebook: Upbuild
LinkedIn: Upbuild

Do you find yourself getting agitated when someone posts flattering things about themselves on social media? Do you think (or talk) badly about the other person, feel badly about yourself, or find yourself not wanting to reach out to connect with that other person?

In this episode, Hari interviews Michael about his article, "Our Unilateral Contracts." Michael introduces us to a framework that gives insight into how we hold people accountable to agreements that they never actually agreed to. When these unilateral contracts are broken, we experience a feeling of betrayal and punish others and/or ourselves. He shares a number of examples from his own life, including one he has with his wife about doing the dishes and another with the TSA about getting searched at airport security. Hari and Michael examine how we can use this framework to have better relationships, become less reactive, and ultimately act from the deepest part of who we are, rather than from the ego. 

Links

Enneagram Certification Program

Upbuild Coaching Certification Training (starts in October)

Upbuild Website

Instagram: @upbuildnyc
Facebook: Upbuild
LinkedIn: Upbuild

Most of us are wearing masks all the time. We are wearing ego masks that cover who we are so we can prove that we are worthy, that we are enough, and that we have a place in this world. Although these masks help protect us and help us garner appreciation, they also keep us locked up in a prison. They obstruct our satisfaction with life and prevent us from being truly connected with ourselves and with one another. In this episode of Upbuilding the Self, Rasanath interviews Hari Prasada about his inspiration for his article, “A World Without Masks.” Hari Prasada shares the definition of an ego mask, how suffering is created when we wear our masks, and the most important step we can take to start removing our masks in order to live a life with more freedom and connection.  

Links

Enneagram Certification Program

Upbuild Coaching Certification Training (starts in October)

Upbuild Website

Instagram: @upbuildnyc
Facebook: Upbuild
LinkedIn: Upbuild

Shame is a hard emotion to talk about because we feel shame about having shame. Rasanath and Michael break down this complex emotion by unpacking an experience of shame that Michael experienced brought on by a feeling of not being productive enough. They examine the root causes of shame, the problems that arise when we feel shame, and what it will take to reconnect with our hearts so that we can work through our shame in a healthy manner. They also look at the driving force behind ambition and how to know if ambition is being used as a coping mechanism for shame. 

Links

Enneagram Certification Program

Upbuild Coaching Certification Training (starts in October)

Upbuild Website

Instagram: @upbuildnyc
Facebook: Upbuild
LinkedIn: Upbuild

Who do you envy? And how does it serve you? 
Envy is a universal emotion. It can lead us to feel ashamed, disconnected from others and ourselves, and sometimes even to wish ill for others. However, for many of us, it’s not clear we would want to rid ourselves of envy because we fear we might lose our “drive.” Rasanath, Michael, and Vipin examine the root causes of envy and debate the question: When we lose our envy, do we lose our drive? They reveal three antidotes to envy, what role the ego plays, and what’s at stake if we don’t create a healthier relationship with our envy.

Links

Enneagram Certification Program

Upbuild Coaching Certification Training (starts in October)

Upbuild Website

Instagram: @upbuildnyc
Facebook: Upbuild
LinkedIn: Upbuild

In order to “overcome” imposter syndrome, most self help books teach us that we should just believe that we can be anything that we think we should be. While a positive mindset and confidence can be beneficial, with this way of thinking, our egos are still in control as they drive us on never ending quests for more validation and achievement. In this episode, the Upbuild team takes a deep dive into the complexities and drivers of imposter syndrome, differentiating the ego from the true self. They discuss a real life example of imposter syndrome, how imposter syndrome can be unhealthy when it gets refracted through the ego, and how imposter syndrome can be healthy when it gives us access to humility and to our real selves.

Links

Enneagram Certification Program

Upbuild Coaching Certification Training (starts in October)

Upbuild Website

Instagram: @upbuildnyc
Facebook: Upbuild
LinkedIn: Upbuild

Anger is like a temptress, seducing us with promises of control and justice. And yet, for the vast majority of us, how we deal with our anger almost always leaves us further from our goals and creates collateral damage in the process. In this episode, Michael and Rasanath discuss the complexities of anger and how to channel it in a healthy way. They unpack why anger is often the default response of our egos, how anger is a symptom of an unmet need that we expect to be fulfilled, the self-righteousness that can be attached to anger, the shame we may feel when someone breaks our trust, and how we can productively experience our anger while still holding people accountable.

Links

Enneagram Certification Program

Upbuild Coaching Certification Training (starts in October)

Upbuild Website

Instagram: @upbuildnyc
Facebook: Upbuild
LinkedIn: Upbuild

Why is it that our successes and failures have such a strong influence on how we feel about ourselves? The Upbuild team discusses the link between self-worth and the number on our paychecks, how we draw the line between healthy and unhealthy validation, and the limitations of chasing self-worth as a motivator. By getting clear on the difference between the ego and the true self, the team reveals how we can detangle the link between self-worth and achievement, which gives us access to the freedom we are all craving.

Links

Enneagram Certification Program

Upbuild Coaching Certification Training (starts in October)

Upbuild Website

Instagram: @upbuildnyc
Facebook: Upbuild
LinkedIn: Upbuild