Upfront About Breast Cancer – What You Don't Know Until You Do, with Dr Charlotte Tottman

Episode 10: The Inevitable: Death, Dying and Mortality 

*Please note that this episode is an unscripted conversation and does not reflect the full spectrum of experience of end-of-life. It is suggested that you exercise self-care when listening and for more information on personal circumstances seek the guidance of your medical professional. 

We recommend that listeners exercise self-care when listening to this podcast, as some may find the content upsetting. BCNA’s Helpline provides a free confidential telephone and email service for people diagnosed with breast cancer, their family and friends. Our experienced team can help with your questions and concerns and direct you to relevant resources and services. Call 1800 500 258 or email [email protected] 

Let’s be upfront about death, dying and mortality. 

End of life is something people often don’t want to speak or think about, usually because of the uncertainty that surrounds the death and dying experience and the fear of not being here, however, having the tough conversations early can really help to support you and your loved ones. 

In this episode, Charlotte speaks frankly about the process of dying, common thoughts and feelings about death, and mortality vulnerabilities, and why confronting some of this can be helpful. 

This podcast was recorded in February 2023 

RESOURCES: 

• Sign up to My Journey and access a range of resources  
• Visit our Online Network to connect with people going through a similar experience 
• Charlotte Tottman’s end of life preferences discussion prompts. 

Upfront About Breast Cancer is a production of Breast Cancer Network Australia. Our theme music is by the late Tara Simmons and this episode is proudly brought to you by Sussan. 

Produced by Dr Charlotte Tottman and BCNA. 

Engineered and edited by Jane Nield at SEN Studios. 

Want to get in touch? Visit our website at www.bcna.org.au, email us at [email protected], or call our Helpline on 1800 500 258 

Episode 11: That’s a wrap! 

We recommend that listeners exercise self-care when listening to this podcast, as some may find the content upsetting. BCNA’s Helpline provides a free confidential telephone and email service for people diagnosed with breast cancer, their family and friends. Our experienced team can help with your questions and concerns and direct you to relevant resources and services. Call 1800 500 258 or email [email protected] 

Welcome to the end of What You Don’t Know Until You Do: Unlimited with Dr Charlotte Tottman. 

In this wrap up, Charlotte and Kellie reflect on season 2, share some of their highlights and take the opportunity to thank the people that made this podcast possible. 

Charlotte discusses how privileged she feels to be able to work with BCNA on this podcast and share her story to help others. Thank you for listening. 

This podcast was recorded in February 2023 

RESOURCES: 

• Sign up to My Journey and access a range of resources  
• Visit our Online Network to connect with people going through a similar experience 

Upfront About Breast Cancer is a production of Breast Cancer Network Australia. Our theme music is by the late Tara Simmons and this episode is proudly brought to you by Sussan. 

Produced by Dr Charlotte Tottman and BCNA. 

Engineered and edited by Jane Nield at SEN Studios. 

Want to get in touch? Visit our website at www.bcna.org.au, email us at [email protected], or call our Helpline on 1800 500 258 

Episode 1: What You Don’t Know Until You Do, with Dr Charlotte Tottman: D Day: Diagnosis Shock

We recommend that listeners exercise self-care when listening to this podcast, as some may find the content upsetting. BCNA’s Helpline provides a free confidential telephone and email service for people diagnosed with breast cancer, their family and friends. Our experienced team can help with your questions and concerns and direct you to relevant resources and services. Call 1800 500 258 or email [email protected].

In this episode of What You Don’t Know Until You Do, with Dr Charlotte Tottman, we hear about Charlotte’s diagnosis story including the initial shock and common reactions in the aftermath of a cancer diagnosis. Charlotte discusses physical and psychological responses, including fight and flight, information control, and anxiety spikes. We also explore what information and tactics helped her process the information and how she told her loved ones of the news.

To help us continue to develop our podcasts, we ask for your feedback via our survey.

Resources:

- Sign up to My Journey and access a range of resources on:

• Coping with a diagnosis of early breast cancer
• Practical help when diagnosed with early breast cancer
• Talking to children about your breast cancer diagnosis
• Reactions of parents when you are diagnosed with breast cancer
• Support for you when diagnosed with early breast cancer

- Visit our Online Network to connect with people going through a similar experience.

Upfront About Breast Cancer is a production of Breast Cancer Network Australia.

Our theme music is by the late Tara Simmons, and this episode is proudly brought to you by JT Reid.

Produced by Dr Charlotte Tottman and BCNA 

Engineered and edited by Jane Nield at SEN Studios

Visit our website at www.bcna.org.au/, email us at [email protected], or call our Helpline on 1800 500 258 if any of the content in this podcast has raised any concerns or questions.

Episode 2: What You Don’t Know Until You Do, With Dr Charlotte Tottman: A Tale of Two Husbands: Emotional Isolation

We recommend that listeners exercise self-care when listening to the Upfront About Breast Cancer What You Don’t Know Until You Do with Dr Charlotte Tottman podcast, as some may find the content upsetting. Each episode is raw and real and covers a range of topics, some of which may be triggering for people at various stages of their journey. The intention is to have meaningful conversations, present relevant information and provide practical strategies that may help someone or someone you know on their cancer journey. BCNA’s helpline provides a free confidential telephone and email service for people diagnosed with breast cancer, their family and friends. Our experienced team can help with your questions and concerns and direct you to relevant resources and services. Call 1800 500 258 or email [email protected].

In this episode of What You Don’t Know Until You Do, with Dr Charlotte Tottman, we hear about Charlotte’s experience of emotional isolation during her cancer journey, which is the feeling of being alone in the intense experience of a cancer diagnosis and treatment, despite being surrounded by loved ones. Charlotte shares her 'tale of two husbands' in which she reveals her own feelings of emotional isolation following unexpected responses from both her long term and current husband and her ex-husband. We learn about the importance of empathy and strategies of how to best get emotional needs met. 

To help us continue to develop our podcasts, we ask for your feedback via our survey.

Resources:

- Sign up to My Journey and access a range of resources on partner support.

- Visit our Online Network to connect with people going through a similar experience.

Upfront About Breast Cancer is a production of Breast Cancer Network Australia.

Our theme music is by the late Tara Simmons, and this episode is proudly brought to you by JT Reid.

Produced by Dr Charlotte Tottman and BCNA 

Engineered and edited by Jane Nield at SEN Studios

Visit our website at www.bcna.org.au/, email us at [email protected], or call our Helpline on 1800 500 258 if any of the content in this podcast has raised any concerns or questions.

Episode 3: What You Don’t Know Until You Do, With Dr Charlotte Tottman: The Showing Up and The Letting Down: Surprises and Disappointments in Relationships

We recommend that listeners exercise self-care when listening to the Upfront About Breast Cancer What You Don’t Know Until You Do with Dr Charlotte Tottman podcast, as some may find the content upsetting. Each episode is raw and real and covers a range of topics, some of which may be triggering for people at various stages of their journey. The intention is to have meaningful conversations, present relevant information and provide practical strategies that may help someone or someone you know on their cancer journey. BCNA’s helpline provides a free confidential telephone and email service for people diagnosed with breast cancer, their family and friends. Our experienced team can help with your questions and concerns and direct you to relevant resources and services. Call 1800 500 258 or email [email protected].

In this episode of What You Don’t Know Until You Do, with Dr Charlotte Tottman, we hear about the surprises and disappointments often experienced at various stages of a breast cancer journey and the expectations we often don’t realise we have of others. Charlotte shares her experience of being surprised and thankful for those who stepped up, as well as her experience of feeling let down by those who disappeared. We also hear about how best to respond to disappointment, recalibrate expectations and how to clearly communicate your emotional and practical needs to those around you.

To help us continue to develop our podcasts, we ask for your feedback via our survey.

Resources:

- Sign up to My Journey and access a range of resources on

• Managing support and concern from the people around you 
• Support for you when you are diagnosed with EBC

- Visit our Online Network to connect with people going through a similar experience.

Upfront About Breast Cancer is a production of Breast Cancer Network Australia.

Our theme music is by the late Tara Simmons, and this episode is proudly brought to you by JT Reid.

Produced by Dr Charlotte Tottman and BCNA 

Engineered and edited by Jane Nield at SEN Studios

Visit our website at www.bcna.org.au/, email us at [email protected], or call our Helpline on 1800 500 258 if any of the content in this podcast has raised any concerns or questions.

Episode 4: What you don’t know until you do, with Dr Charlotte Tottman: The Mirror Image: Body Image Difficulties

We recommend that listeners exercise self-care when listening to the Upfront About Breast Cancer What You Don’t Know Until You Do with Dr Charlotte Tottman podcast, as some may find the content upsetting. Each episode is raw and real and covers a range of topics, some of which may be triggering for people at various stages of their journey. The intention is to have meaningful conversations, present relevant information and provide practical strategies that may help someone or someone you know on their cancer journey. BCNA’s helpline provides a free confidential telephone and email service for people diagnosed with breast cancer, their family and friends. Our experienced team can help with your questions and concerns and direct you to relevant resources and services. Call 1800 500 258 or email [email protected].

In this episode of What You Don’t Know Until You Do, with Dr Charlotte Tottman, we hear about Charlotte’s experience of the changes to her body as a result of cancer treatment and how the changes to our physical form can challenge our sense of self, identity and who we are. Charlotte shares her personal stories of the challenges she faced after her second surgery, the triggers and responses she had to un-learn and strategies she used to change her mindset to focus on what her body could do as opposed to what it looked like. 

To help us continue to develop our podcasts, we ask for your feedback via our survey.

Resources:

- Sign up to My Journey and access a range of resources on

• Changes to the way your body looks and feels 
• Choosing to stay flat after mastectomy

- Visit our Online Network to connect with people going through a similar experience.

Upfront About Breast Cancer is a production of Breast Cancer Network Australia.

Our theme music is by the late Tara Simmons, and this episode is proudly brought to you by JT Reid.

Produced by Dr Charlotte Tottman and BCNA 

Engineered and edited by Jane Nield at SEN Studios

Visit our website at www.bcna.org.au/, email us at [email protected], or call our Helpline on 1800 500 258 if any of the content in this podcast has raised any concerns or questions.

Episode 5: What You Don’t Know Until You Do, with Dr Charlotte Tottman: The Snow Globe Effect: Change of Perspective

We recommend that listeners exercise self-care when listening to the Upfront About Breast Cancer What You Don’t Know Until You Do with Dr Charlotte Tottman podcast, as some may find the content upsetting. Each episode is raw and real and covers a range of topics, some of which may be triggering for people at various stages of their journey. The intention is to have meaningful conversations, present relevant information and provide practical strategies that may help someone or someone you know on their cancer journey. BCNA’s helpline provides a free confidential telephone and email service for people diagnosed with breast cancer, their family and friends. Our experienced team can help with your questions and concerns and direct you to relevant resources and services. Call 1800 500 258 or email [email protected].

In this episode of What You Don’t Know Until You Do, with Dr Charlotte Tottman, we hear about the Snow Globe Effect, an analogy Charlotte uses to explain how a cancer experience can change a person’s perspective, values, priorities and how they live their life. We explore confronting mortality, re-thinking past choices and decisions and how we can be empowered to live our best life going forward. 

To help us continue to develop our podcasts, we ask for your feedback via our survey.

Resources:

- Sign up to My Journey and access a range of resources on

• Dealing with emotions after an early breast cancer diagnosis
• Your new normal after breast cancer treatment
• Emotional wellbeing and DCIS

- Visit our Online Network to connect with people going through a similar experience.

Upfront About Breast Cancer is a production of Breast Cancer Network Australia.

Our theme music is by the late Tara Simmons, and this episode is proudly brought to you by JT Reid.

Produced by Dr Charlotte Tottman and BCNA 

Engineered and edited by Jane Nield at SEN Studios

Visit our website at www.bcna.org.au/, email us at [email protected], or call our Helpline on 1800 500 258 if any of the content in this podcast has raised any concerns or questions.

Episode 6: What You Don’t Know Until You Do, with Dr Charlotte Tottman: The Meltdown: Post Treatment Adjustment

We recommend that listeners exercise self-care when listening to the Upfront About Breast Cancer What You Don’t Know Until You Do with Dr Charlotte Tottman podcast, as some may find the content upsetting. Each episode is raw and real and covers a range of topics, some of which may be triggering for people at various stages of their journey. The intention is to have meaningful conversations, present relevant information and provide practical strategies that may help someone or someone you know on their cancer journey. BCNA’s helpline provides a free confidential telephone and email service for people diagnosed with breast cancer, their family and friends. Our experienced team can help with your questions and concerns and direct you to relevant resources and services. Call 1800 500 258 or email [email protected].

In this episode of What You Don’t Know Until You Do, with Dr Charlotte Tottman, we hear about what post treatment adjustment is, including physical and psychological recovery, rehabilitation once hospital-based treatment ends and what you can expect in the years that follow. Charlotte shares her personal post treatment adjustment story including her ‘Meltdown’, the strategies she used to help her recognise and acknowledge the adjustments she needed to make, and how important sleep and taking time for herself were in helping her find her feet again. 

To help us continue to develop our podcasts, we ask for your feedback via our survey.

Resources:

- Sign up to My Journey and access a range of resources on

• Coping with the emotional effects of breast cancer treatment 
• Your new normal after breast cancer treatment

- Visit our Online Network to connect with people going through a similar experience.

Upfront About Breast Cancer is a production of Breast Cancer Network Australia.

Our theme music is by the late Tara Simmons, and this episode is proudly brought to you by JT Reid.

Produced by Dr Charlotte Tottman and BCNA 

Engineered and edited by Jane Nield at SEN Studios

Visit our website at www.bcna.org.au/, email us at [email protected], or call our Helpline on 1800 500 258 if any of the content in this podcast has raised any concerns or questions.

Episode 7: What you don’t know until you do, with Dr Charlotte Tottman: The Next Version of You: Managing Expectations

We recommend that listeners exercise self-care when listening to the Upfront About Breast Cancer What You Don’t Know Until You Do with Dr Charlotte Tottman podcast, as some may find the content upsetting. Each episode is raw and real and covers a range of topics, some of which may be triggering for people at various stages of their journey. The intention is to have meaningful conversations, present relevant information and provide practical strategies that may help someone or someone you know on their cancer journey. BCNA’s helpline provides a free confidential telephone and email service for people diagnosed with breast cancer, their family and friends. Our experienced team can help with your questions and concerns and direct you to relevant resources and services. Call 1800 500 258 or email [email protected].

In this episode of What You Don’t Know Until You Do, with Dr Charlotte Tottman, we hear about post treatment adjustment and the role that the expectations we have of ourselves, and the expectations others have of us play in a cancer experience. Charlotte reflects on how she changed various aspects of her life through her cancer journey to adjust to the next version of herself and find a way forward, rather than trying to find a way back to her pre cancer self. 

To help us continue to develop our podcasts, we ask for your feedback via our survey.

Resources:

- Sign up to My Journey and access a range of resources on

• Your new normal after breast cancer treatment
• Beyond active treatment: the impact on you and your relationships

- Visit our Online Network to connect with people going through a similar experience.

Upfront About Breast Cancer is a production of Breast Cancer Network Australia.

Our theme music is by the late Tara Simmons, and this episode is proudly brought to you by JT Reid.

Produced by Dr Charlotte Tottman and BCNA 

Engineered and edited by Jane Nield at SEN Studios

Visit our website at www.bcna.org.au/, email us at [email protected], or call our Helpline on 1800 500 258 if any of the content in this podcast has raised any concerns or questions.

Episode 8: What You Don’t Know Until You Do, with Dr Charlotte Tottman: Learning New Dance Steps: Sexuality and Intimacy

We recommend that listeners exercise self-care when listening to the Upfront About Breast Cancer What You Don’t Know Until You Do with Dr Charlotte Tottman podcast, as some may find the content upsetting. Each episode is raw and real and covers a range of topics, some of which may be triggering for people at various stages of their journey. The intention is to have meaningful conversations, present relevant information and provide practical strategies that may help someone or someone you know on their cancer journey. BCNA’s helpline provides a free confidential telephone and email service for people diagnosed with breast cancer, their family and friends. Our experienced team can help with your questions and concerns and direct you to relevant resources and services. Call 1800 500 258 or email [email protected].

In this episode of What You Don’t Know Until You Do, with Dr Charlotte Tottman, we hear about sexuality and intimacy using the ‘dance steps’ analogy and how they are impacted by a cancer diagnosis and treatment. We explore contributing factors including body image difficulties, fatigue and other treatment side effects. Charlotte discusses common responses and how strategies including communication, humour and learning ‘new dance steps’ can help with connection and closeness, both physically and emotionally with your intimate partner. 

To help us continue to develop our podcasts, we ask for your feedback via our survey.

Resources:

- Sign up to My Journey and access a range of resources on sexual wellbeing and intimacy. 

- Visit our Online Network to connect with people going through a similar experience.

Upfront About Breast Cancer is a production of Breast Cancer Network Australia.

Our theme music is by the late Tara Simmons, and this episode is proudly brought to you by JT Reid.

Produced by Dr Charlotte Tottman and BCNA 

Engineered and edited by Jane Nield at SEN Studios

Visit our website at www.bcna.org.au/, email us at [email protected], or call our Helpline on 1800 500 258 if any of the content in this podcast has raised any concerns or questions.v