Us and Kids: Parenting and marriage coaching with therapist, Jan Talen

So today we're going to start  a series of 10 Tips.  Our first topic will be about summer health.

Today we're going to talk about the letter A. We're going to start by talking about anger and then add other A words that both lead away from anger in a negative way or in a more sad way and lead away from anger into a more healthy or appealing way. So first, we have to start by talking about anger.

I talk often with my clients about the idea that anger is energy. It's emotional energy that really wants to have influence in some space or another and often it can show up in an explosive way. It comes out that way because we haven't just let it come out more quietly.

On today’s show, we are talking about how my marriage has lasted 42 years and one week. Last week was my 42nd anniversary to my husband Chip. We have known each other for 45 years and so I took a little walk back through history. I looked at it through the lens of our program that we use to help you guys called the Us...and Kids Communication Program. In this program we used the DNA method of communicating. 

This program helps us look at our desires, use the necessary skills that we need and how we apply them. And so last week I talked our way through some of what desires and necessary skills did we have when we got married? Today, we're going to branch out on those things and continue to think about what else we wanted in life - especially while we were parenting.  Glad you can joinus!

I have a little announcement today.

Maybe you think that I better be married forever...after all I am a marriage and family therapist so I better know how to stay married.

On today’s show, we are using the DNA method to explore empathy. We are going to need to Define our desires or a dream. And that means today my dream or my desire is being emotionally connected with my family and with other people in very kind ways. What is my N, my necessary skill? Today is going to be about empathy. And the A is, how are we going to apply it? Empathy, yes for anyone in our family.

In order for everyone to get on the same page we need to know exactly what we mean by the word empathy. That is part of defining our dreams and desires, is that they need to be specific enough that everyone understands what we mean. Empathy is emotionally connecting with those we are around.  There are 3 different levels to it that we will explore today!  Enjoy!

On today’s show, our topic is all about using our imagination to build confidence. This is a timeless podcast because we whether we are adults and kids, we are always encountering new things. And we can either become scared and a little shaky or unsure of ourselves, losing our confidence or we can be confident of ourselves and what we are able to do.

Imagination plays a significant role in building up and maintaining confidence. Let’s talk, first of all, about what do I mean by imagination? I think using our imagination is using our brain to create an idea or a plan of what we would like to accomplish.  Join us and use your imagination too!

On today’s show, we're going to talk about being honest. Now, honesty can come in many forms, right? Honest to ourselves, honest with others, honest about our emotions. When you hear the word honest, or when someone says to you, "Oh come on, be honest!" how do you respond?

Are there different levels of honesty? Because then, that begs the question about are there different levels of lies? And what do you want to teach your kids about being honest and about lying? The two conversations sort of go together, don't they?

On today’s show, we’re going to talk about anxiety. Anxiety is, physiologically, a sense of overwhelming concern, or worry when there doesn't seem to be a good way to resolve a situation and even if it's resolved, there's a worry about what about next time? So it's a worry about things in the future and the unknown things that we don't have control over.

Sometimes we don't know exactly what we are worried about. We can just feel that concern running around in our head all the time. So, let’s talk about what to do with this overly-friendly emotion and what we can do to help it go away.

On today’s show, we're talking about, "How can I help?" Or, "How can I support?" So, we're going to work our way through the word SUPPORT in an acronym sort of way.  This time we are going to look at each letter briefly from both: What if you're looking for support, what would you do?; And, if you're offering support, or being asked to support someone, or help someone, what's your best way to respond? What skill is usually best in that situation?

You know hanging around good people 24/7, living with people, is not always easy. But, when we join in and say, "How can I help?" And, we support each other, it ends up being a pretty doggone good time.

It takes a lot of courage to stay married forever while you parent together and it also takes a lot of encouragement to do that. The DNA method of communication often talks about this need for having courage and that encouragement to plays an important role in helping someone build up their courage. We know this is worth the work; being married forever while you parent together is so very rewarding.

So today I just wanted to talk a little bit about how do we help each other? How do we encourage each other? What does that look like and sound like?