Vanessa’s Lack Thereof

In this episode I wanted to discuss how annoyingly awkward I become around intimacy sometimes. And how some things couples do is gross yet I have done it too (some things not all). Then somehow it turned into me warning peeps not to fuck with my psycho ass bc you gon’ feel my wrath 😳😤😲Sooooo… you’re welcome 😉 and member: you can control your thoughts, words, and mind to become a happier more fulfilled human any time you choose 😶‍🌫️😶‍🌫️😶‍🌫️

In this episode I am reminding myself that no matter what my life looks like on the outside, that I am following my true north. I understand I look and act crazy or estupit yet it does not matter. Whatever it takes (for mine and all highest good always) I will do it. Just because I’m not there yet does not mean I never will be, no matter what outsiders may say or think. If I’m the only one who’s going to believe in me 100% while looking stupid to all others then that’s the price I’ll pay. I’m either getting to where I desire or I’m dead. There is no other option.

In this episode I am talking about how growth is a double edged sword. Sometimes you can do so much work on yourself that your “old” life and people in it no longer resonate the way it once did. How much give and take is necessary to effectively have both parties living and being how they see fit? I’m not quite sure yet. I just know that me being me means doing everything I can to find this middle ground with those within my inner circle. A place where I am not forcing or judging them to be what they are not and vice versa. I may end up losing some but my number one priority is to treasure and value them as much as I can for as long as I can, trusting the Universe to show me the perfect middle ground for those still desiring to be in my circle. And to give love and let go if they end up deciding they don’t.

This is a passionate rant where I discuss freedom of speech in America, why I support it, and think this PC culture is fucking bullshit. 💥Warning: Extremely triggering & thought provoking. Use your own discernment when listening💥

This is an awkward ass convo about a pornography documentary I watched at 4 am this morning that said kids are getting into porn younger and having more problems later because of it. Shook me to my core. Thought I had insight to share but it quickly became apparent I have no idea what the hell I wanted to say. I only posted it because it’s raw, uncut, and shows true transparency especially in a not so glamorous light. If you’re sensitive about sex and education around sex this is not the episode fo yo ass okurr (Cardi B voice) 🙃

Full disclosure I just wanted a word to rhyme with judge - I actually do not in any way refer to fudge. And here I discuss me working on being level headed and trying my best not to judge or villianize others especially when I don’t have all the information to make the most effective decision. But yeah Will Smith slapping Chris Rock triggered me hard at first 😬😅

Just a quick reminder to step out of your comfort zone even when it’s especially challenging for you. Eventually it’ll become easier. Until then sometimes you just gotta stumble through and roll with the punches 💥👊🏽🙋🏽‍♀️

Insecurities and outside factors can make you question and doubt your worth. What no one tells you is you are worthy as you are right now and you’ve always been. Sometimes you have to be the first to believe it but it’s always true. No one (well the majority) is all evil or perfect. We all have our strengths and weaknesses so please don’t allow outside people and things to convince you that you’re not enough. You are more than enough. Love yourself proudly, you deserve it 💟

What if your negativity, self-hatred, and worth could be based off of you instead of everyone else? What if you and only you had the key to transform your mind and life for the better? Would you give up the old you to become a better, happier, more fulfilled version of yourself? Even if the world wants to constantly fool you into thinking and believing otherwise? Would you risk it all to create new and more empowering, exciting experiences? You can start any time, any day, and for any reason. I believe in you, I see you, and I’m here to remind you that YOU are GOLD baby! You’ve got what it takes and then some. Just believe in yourself one small step at a time 💪🏽❤️

I used to be extremely negative and reactive, believing I was no good. Then I began working to rewire my brain, mind, heart and soul. I used to listen to shit and believe it without question or facts to back it up. Nowadays I’m eager for differences in opinions and beliefs to gain a better understanding about the truth (whatever that may be) in its entirety and from all sides. Maybe you’re thinking you’re a piece of shit bc you’ve allowed others to shape your thoughts. You can break away and find your true authentic self at ANY moment that is best for you. It’s a long grueling and brutal process yet the love and light your soul will feel once you realize your depth will be 10x its weight in gold. You’re a star and maybe it’s time to discover your truth for yourself and by yourself