In the world of self-improvement, it's all or nothing baby. We don't allow slip-ups from ourselves. And we don't allow the people we listen to (influencers if you will) to be anything less than perfect at practising what they preach.

But this approach doesn't serve us at all well in the long run. It supports a 'gotcha' culture where we're all looking to catch each other out doing the wrong thing rather than applauding ourselves and others for doing the right thing.

In this episode of Straight and Curly, Kelly and Carly talk about things we can all do to be kinder to ourselves and others when trying to make forward progress.

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Resilience is the ability to cope with adversity while you're experiencing that adversity. And also the ability to bounce back after adversity. 

Today Kelly and Carly share 6 simple tips to help boost resilience:

• Be willing to expose yourself to challenging situations
• Practice mindfulness
• Be kind to yourself
• Protect your emotional health
• Have routines and rituals to fall back on
• Surround yourself with good people

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Boundaries are guidelines that establish how others are able to behave around you, and how you want to be treated.

In today's episode, Kelly and Carly share some simple tips for people who are tired of feeling taken advantage of, resentful and burnt out.

The tips discussed include:

1. Never committing to something when you've been put on the spot
2. Asking yourself who is paying the price of your poor boundary setting?
3. Giving yourself permission to set boundaries
4. Deciding what your boundaries are
5. Framing your boundary setting around your own needs, not that of the other person
6. Surrounding yourself with people who set strong boundaries

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As long-time listeners know, Straight and Curly has been on hiatus this year after Kelly lost her beloved husband, Anthony, in a freak accident in January.

8 months on, Kelly's heart is still hurting, but she misses the energy boost she gets from chatting with Carly on a weekly basis. So the girls have started recording again and in this episode, they take the chance to bring listeners up to speed with what their lives look like now, compared to last year.

This episode is the first of a new full season of Straight and Curly so lookout for a return to normal programming and the usual format next week.

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Welcome to this second special episode of Straight and Curly, one where Kelly was keen to shift the focus from the sadness of losing her husband Anthony, to the joy she felt for Carly in welcoming baby Harriet into the world and also moving to the country. As with the previous episode, Kelly will draw on questions from the listeners in the Straight and Curly Facebook group to see how Carly is managing these two very major life changes.    Questions Carly answers include:

• Would you be okay sharing your birth story?
• How has all the personal development you have done over the years helped you cope with the huge changes you have faced over the last few months?
• What’s been the biggest surprise for you in motherhood? And what expectations did you have that you have thrown out the window!
• How is the city vs country mouse thing going or is it hard to tell what change is what after having a bub simultaneously?
• What’s been the best gift you’ve received (or thing or task)?
• How have you handled the lack of control that you have experienced recently?
• How have you adapted your self care to adjust for your life changes?
• Have you had any big surprises since having your baby, or is everything ticking along like how you thought it would?
• Sanity savers, life hacks, activities, places or people that are helping you keep it together
• Carly, is there a theatre scene where you live now so you can indulge your thespian passion, either on stage (when the time is right) or as an audience member?
• I know you like to plan ahead so I’m curious if your planning ways have changed since Harriet, and what’s become a priority for you now?
• I would be interested in the effect on both of your anxiety levels following such major changes in your lives
• Are you managing to get in the same amount of exercise since moving to the country & leaving F45? Obviously intensity will be lower as you recover from the trauma that is giving birth. How ‘country’ are you? Are there other new mums around you? Are you craving human contact or are you not that deep in the OZ Bush??!

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Welcome to this first of two special episodes of Straight and Curly. As many of you know, Kelly tragically lost her beloved husband Anthony in a freak accident in January. In this raw and vulnerable conversation, Carly draws on questions from listeners in the Straight and Curly Facebook group to check in with Kel to see how she is going navigating the biggest challenge life has ever thrown her way.

Some of the questions Kelly answers:

• How are you really feeling? How do you get out of bed each day?
• What gestures from friends have helped most at this time?
• What's the most helpful thing someone has done?
• What are some things people did or said with good intention but may have gotten wrong? What things should people say? What should they not say?
• How has the personal development you've done over the years helped with the current situation?
• Has what happened changed your beliefs/worldview?
• How is the family doing?
• What does self-care look like right now?
• What are some useful hacks for getting through each day, especially when emotionally exhausted?
• What's something you've let go of and don't care as much about now?
• What are some of the family and financial discussions you and Ant had before he passed that have taken some of the worry out of this time? What are some of the things you are patting yourself on the back for having in place?
• How has being organised on the life admin side of things helped in this awful time?
• How on earth are you managing/juggling your businesses at the moment? Whose support and what support has been great?
• Are you making major life decisions quickly and then making smaller organised steps towards them? Or are you taking small decisions daily as they are in front of you and while find out where you end up when you look back?
• What are some things you've learned from watching others go through a similar experience?
• How are you managing the needs of your kids against your own needs for self-care?
• Have there been moments when you feel hopeless and what do you focus on to bring you back to center?
• Has this sense of being very loved and missed on the podcast surprised you?
• What has made you belly laugh?
• As you and Carly are good friends at opposite ends of the emotional spectrum with your current life situations, how has Carly's situation influenced yours?

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It's the last episode of 2018 for Kelly and Carly. We'll be back in 2019 with more life improvement hacks. 

For today, we're talking about the year that was 2018. 

Topics covered - 

• What worked
• What didn't work 
• Things we wished we spent less time on 
• Intentions for 2019 

Have a beautiful and safe holiday season dear S&C listeners - we'll be back in your ears next year! 

...   For more info on Kelly and Carly, and to see any links or resources mentioned in today’s episode, head over to   www.straightandcurly.com  or come join the  Straight and Curly group on Facebook . You can find Kelly @kellyexeter and Carly @smaggle. 

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If you're listening to this podcast you're most probably into self-improvement right? But have you ever thought about the social impact your new health/productivity/exercise routine is having on your social life?

This week Kelly and Carly explore the potentially negative aspects of self-improvement. 

Topics included - 

• How to cope when it feels like you're losing people you love in your pursuit of self-improvement 
• Creating new relationships through self-improvement 
• Maintaining relationships with people who have different priorities 
• Doing all of the above things without annoying every person you've ever met 

...   For more info on Kelly and Carly, and to see any links or resources mentioned in today’s episode, head over to   www.straightandcurly.com  or come join the  Straight and Curly group on Facebook . You can find Kelly @kellyexeter and Carly @smaggle. 

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This is a topic that pops up often and it's such a broad topic that it's difficult to do condense into a podcast episode... that's not going to stop us trying though! 

This week we're focussing on the Martin Seligman (considered the father of Positive Psychology) theory of 'meaning'. He believes meaning has three aspects. 

1. Belonging
2. Serving something beyond yourself
3. Developing the best within you

That's what we're going to work through in today's episode - how these three aspects manifest in our own lives and how we can change our actions to attract more meaning in our lives.    ...   For more info on Kelly and Carly, and to see any links or resources mentioned in today’s episode, head over to   www.straightandcurly.com  or come join the  Straight and Curly group on Facebook . You can find Kelly @kellyexeter and Carly @smaggle.   

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Happiness is an elusive beast and the concept of it comes up quite often for our listeners. S&C fans know that we love to research the science behind everything so this week's episode is about the science behind happiness. 

Topics discussed - 

• The Golden Triangle Of Happiness Theory
• The Desire Theory
• The Proximity Triangle Theory
• The Einstein Theory 
• Time vs Money Theory

...

For more info on Kelly and Carly, and to see any links or resources mentioned in today’s episode, head over to   www.straightandcurly.com  or come join the  Straight and Curly group on Facebook . You can find Kelly @kellyexeter and Carly @smaggle. 

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.