Video Death Loop

Encase your pocky in a glass. Stick it in the freezer. Wait however long you wait for things to get cold. Open the freezer. Eat the pocky. Repeat. Forever. Submit to the Mikugeddon. The Mikudon. The Wooly Mikueth. Just don’t enter the RESTRICTED ACCESS area.

John Hurst is your host this week and he can name one other vocaloid. Aaron Littleton is your co-host and he’s happy to not remember anything told to him in the pursuit of knowledge.

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The orchestra is tuning up. They’re ready. They watch the artist intently, waiting for the first stroke. A ellipses. A circle? A perfect circle? Not for this. We only need two half circles here. Maybe a C. Slightly off. Shaded with a sheen. Glorious. The Face on Mars looks on intently, but innocently. Will the robots finally be pleased with this masterwork? Never. But still the search for perfection must be continued. John Madden would want nothing less.

Aaron Littleton is your host this week and he’s not impressed with that diamond. John Hurst is your co-host and he’s transforming the art of wrestling.

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Get a bunch of mascots. Make them play the wrong sport for a while. Kill some time. Noone is missing anything. Get your beer. Catch up with an old friend at the game. Pour that extra nacho cheese on. Look, that mascot fell down. Isn’t that silly? Okay, it’s only a little silly. They’re trying out there, alright? They’re trying to best. It’s hard to do layups in a mascot outfit. Unless you’re cheating like the damn Mudcat mascot is. There’s ten more minutes of this. Your beer is getting warm. The cheese sauce is getting cold. Suddenly this became a whole lot realer. Fly! Fly like the majestic eaglefish! FLY.

John Hurst is your host and he’s listening eagerly to the 5th Place State Peanut Council. Aaron Littleton is your co-host and he’s not sure how buoyant an eagle really is.

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The Weekly World News! It was the most interesting thing on the checkout counter for the brief time you’re up there! You eyes would briefly look at that instead of the deal on Buy 2, Get 1 Snickers and you would learn a thing or two about absolutely nothing. Then the cashier would get your attention and you would forget all about it. Or so you thought. You’d go home and see a commercial for the thing that is literally in every grocery store in America. You realized you forgot your copy. The nothings you learn come back. Bigfoot won a sixth super bowl and met a Met. It won’t escape your brain. You can’t go to sleep at night. Bat Boy may be watching. Bat Boy *is* watching. You’ll find that out next issue!

Aaron Littleton is your host this week and he’s ready to make the t-shirt grift of a lifetime. John Hurst is YOUR co-host and he has some pleasant affirming sounds for you.

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How much money would it take to win one thousand dollars from a 1-900 number? How much of your friends money? Can they rap? Can you rap? Doesn’t matter. Bad rap or no, you still have money to give! Or your parents money! Money that you could use to buy Land or Time and your parents could use to by the Wheel Before Time. Wait, no, I mixed them up again. NO. NO NO NO NO–

John Hurst is your host this week and he goes three minutes in before making a Land Before Time reference. Aaron Littleton is your co-host and he picks the correct Land Before Time sequel to mock.

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What would you do if you’ve been Gadgeted? Would you change the world? Would you fly across the sky, free like an eagle? Would you fix the worlds problems with a random assortment of tools? Or would you sink into a level of debauchery that no person on this planet has seen before, horrifying even the evil Dr. Claw (Who has a face for some reason here)? Let’s hope we never need to find out.

Aaron Littleton is your host this week and he’s on point with president’s and around when they were! John Hurst is your co-host and he’s trying to do a kick flip somewhere in D.C at least.

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It’s a rather good time for you to review your internet culture. Like a yearbook, it’s good to fondly reminisce about whatever you were into. Like rose tinted glasses and Quiznos Subs and flash animation. You smile as you turn the page. Where did the time go? You shake your head and laugh. It went away. Now these new sub shops are giving away soft serve and making you beg for your sub in ten seconds or less. It was a simpler time for sub serving. You just toasted your sub and ate until there were no more peppers at the pepper bar. Rather good indeed.

Anyway, welcome to Firehouse!!!!!!!!

John Hurst is your host and he is partially Horse Certified(tm). Aaron Littleton is your co-host and he’s getting the blender out for this idea.

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It’s that time of year ago! The time of year where the Jones’ turn on their holiday lights and annoy the crap out of the rest of the neighborhood with that there role playing game music synchronized. They don’t even feel the reason for the season, which is straight capitalism! They have to apply nostalgia to it too? Bah humbug! Christmas is where the wallet is at! Buy another box of bone broth and stick it in your kid’s stocking and they’ll be glad to have it! They can drink it while listening to LFO like we used to! What was I talking about? Oh, yes, Christmas Lights! Anyway, the bone broth–

Enjoy the last episode for Season 6! After a short break, we’ll see you in 2023 for Season 7!

Aaron Littleton is your host this week and he’s saying GIF the right way. John Hurst is your co-ho-(ho?)-[ho??]-Host and he also is saying GIF the right way.

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You can tell us a story anyway you like. You can weave you tale and flourish it with the most fantastic language. You can win prize after prize. But we bet none of it equals the saga that is “Horse kicks tree, farts on dog then runs away.” Not even Hemmingway would dare approach such a startling tale. But Video Death Loop has. We’re doing it for the future children. They can thank us in their own time. Don’t let your neural-english teacher-bot tell you there is symbolism in something there isn’t. You will know the truth now! But beware; the knowledge you see will set you free, but you will also wail in what you cannot have! Enjoy!!!

John Hurst is your host this week and he’s Golf Cart Certified(tm). Aaron Littleton is your co-host and he has a dire proclamation to declare to the future digital citizens.

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Vine was the perfect place to go to watch videos of people falling stairs. That’s why they had to get rid of it. That’s why we’re stuck in the social media migration we’re in now. If we had Vine still none of us would be dealing with that. We’d just be dealing with the sheer amount of injuries we all would have from trying to fall down steps and making Bad Idea Ramen. We’d all have our degrees in Haunting and life would be a utopia. But no, it had to go away. We had to live a normal life. A life outside of six seconds. Tragedy. Pure, Greek tragedy.

Anyway, don’t eat our ramen recipe, for the love of Vine.

Aaron is your host this week and he’s selling certificates from beyond the grave (Your grave, not his; Don’t be silly.) John is your co-skeleton and he’s thankful for that trash by his front door after all.

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This episode is supported by Manscaped! Get 20% Off and Free Shipping with the code VDL at Manscaped.com. Unlock your confidence and always use the right tools for the job with MANSCAPED.

Ask us questions at [email protected]!